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Whispere
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:28:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 21:20:04 Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 20:29:27 ItÆs been a while since Whispey has seen any action.. but IÆve had the flu all week, and times are tough.. blah blah blah blah..
Well last night is the first night I get to saddle up and head back out into the wild black cosmos to do some damage. IÆve got my missile skills trained up.. I figure itÆs time to give the universe some back.
But in the battle between me and the universe, bet on the universe.
I took inventory of my battles thus far... IÆve died against player miners, player industrial ships, player merchants.. IÆm sure if people could pilot asteroids one of those would have blown me up too. (ôLord Poppingsworth? WhatÆs the smear on the front of my Veldspar ship of the line? Is that someoneÆs frigate?)ö
Anyways, I figure IÆll try raiding some NPC convoys, because those are supposed to be slow, easily killed by a decently outfitted cruiser, and you donÆt take a security hit. Plus, IÆm an idiot (seeing the recurring theme here yet?) and I figure surely I can outsmart the computer AI on auto-pilot.
Remember though kiddies.. bet on the universe.
Well I spend a majority of my only recently recovered bank on some named heavy launchers for my shiny new Caracal, and I fly out of my HQ in Doussivitte to do some raiding/pillaging. Immediately, I see a full convoy, consisting of one flotilla, two Chandlers (I didnÆt know CCP had a ôFriendsö license) and a caravan. They are around 200km away, so I figure IÆm safe from the station guns and all that jazz.
This also was my first time out with a micro warp drive, which I only recently got the skills to use. So I figure IÆll click on one of those, and see how fast I get there.
Well I figure itÆs going to take a minute or two, so I go get some Fanta or something, and when I get back it says IÆm 60km away and closing fast. I must be hauling some serious hull! These new fangled warp drives really work! My mouth begins to water in anticipation.. I can taste those superconductor-whatzits and all sorts of riches and who-knows-what floating around in that hull. I launch all four of my missile bays and watch them scream across the blacknessà Chandler gets nailed so hard IÆm sure even Ross and Phoebe felt it. Smiling grimly.. I get ready to release another volley.
ôGallente Sentry Gun strikes your perfectly for 741.2 damage.ö
Panic sets in.
But like a prison victim caught defenseless in the shower.. I have nowhere to turn. The guns paste me all over Chandler and the caravan and some old lady handing out Easy Cheese samples near the docking bay.
What happened, you say? You had in in the bag this time Whispy!! What went wrong??
Well Chandler and his buddies werenÆt heading away from the station when I spied them at 200km.. they were heading IN. So by the time I got my gear and set out.. they were pushing 150-175, and I didnÆt notice. So I didnÆt go out to get them.. they met me in the middle.. right in the sweet spot of those voluminous sentry guns who so desperately wanted to scratch another Whispere carcass into their nasty, grimy barrels.
ôHey Buhbuh.. ainÆt that there Care-a-cull flyin like that Eh-tron the other day? I cud have sworn we blowed that one to tarnation and back..ö ôWho cares Euhrl.. letÆs mash it.. I ainÆt killed nothin since this mornin when I squished some poor fellerÆs dawg in the canteen.ö
So IÆm in the grapefruit.. and I have to travel 75km back to the station at warp-factor-crawl-speed. And the convoy PASSES ME as IÆm traveling, each one of them waving out of their %*(#&)% windows and IÆm floating along there. IÆm sure that even the server AI ripped an intestine laughing at that one.
I'm thinking I should trade in my fighter's wings for industrial ship training wheels on a more permanent basis.. Because I can tell you right now, if it has a gun, an engine, or even a bad name like Chandler, it can get me killed.
Final Score û Miners, Merchants, Guns and the Universe: 4 û Whispere: 0
Love,
Whispere Star Crossed Scourge of the Universe? Concord Training Drone / General Anti-Hero-ine The Legions of Fire - Doussivitte
Smashing herself and her ships all over the galaxy for your entertainment since 1981! (EVE-Mail Welcome!)
Other Whisp (Not-So) Epic Misadventures: Whispere's Newbie Adventure #1 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #2 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #3 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #4 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #5 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #6
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Whispere
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:28:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 21:20:04 Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 20:29:27 ItÆs been a while since Whispey has seen any action.. but IÆve had the flu all week, and times are tough.. blah blah blah blah..
Well last night is the first night I get to saddle up and head back out into the wild black cosmos to do some damage. IÆve got my missile skills trained up.. I figure itÆs time to give the universe some back.
But in the battle between me and the universe, bet on the universe.
I took inventory of my battles thus far... IÆve died against player miners, player industrial ships, player merchants.. IÆm sure if people could pilot asteroids one of those would have blown me up too. (ôLord Poppingsworth? WhatÆs the smear on the front of my Veldspar ship of the line? Is that someoneÆs frigate?)ö
Anyways, I figure IÆll try raiding some NPC convoys, because those are supposed to be slow, easily killed by a decently outfitted cruiser, and you donÆt take a security hit. Plus, IÆm an idiot (seeing the recurring theme here yet?) and I figure surely I can outsmart the computer AI on auto-pilot.
Remember though kiddies.. bet on the universe.
Well I spend a majority of my only recently recovered bank on some named heavy launchers for my shiny new Caracal, and I fly out of my HQ in Doussivitte to do some raiding/pillaging. Immediately, I see a full convoy, consisting of one flotilla, two Chandlers (I didnÆt know CCP had a ôFriendsö license) and a caravan. They are around 200km away, so I figure IÆm safe from the station guns and all that jazz.
This also was my first time out with a micro warp drive, which I only recently got the skills to use. So I figure IÆll click on one of those, and see how fast I get there.
Well I figure itÆs going to take a minute or two, so I go get some Fanta or something, and when I get back it says IÆm 60km away and closing fast. I must be hauling some serious hull! These new fangled warp drives really work! My mouth begins to water in anticipation.. I can taste those superconductor-whatzits and all sorts of riches and who-knows-what floating around in that hull. I launch all four of my missile bays and watch them scream across the blacknessà Chandler gets nailed so hard IÆm sure even Ross and Phoebe felt it. Smiling grimly.. I get ready to release another volley.
ôGallente Sentry Gun strikes your perfectly for 741.2 damage.ö
Panic sets in.
But like a prison victim caught defenseless in the shower.. I have nowhere to turn. The guns paste me all over Chandler and the caravan and some old lady handing out Easy Cheese samples near the docking bay.
What happened, you say? You had in in the bag this time Whispy!! What went wrong??
Well Chandler and his buddies werenÆt heading away from the station when I spied them at 200km.. they were heading IN. So by the time I got my gear and set out.. they were pushing 150-175, and I didnÆt notice. So I didnÆt go out to get them.. they met me in the middle.. right in the sweet spot of those voluminous sentry guns who so desperately wanted to scratch another Whispere carcass into their nasty, grimy barrels.
ôHey Buhbuh.. ainÆt that there Care-a-cull flyin like that Eh-tron the other day? I cud have sworn we blowed that one to tarnation and back..ö ôWho cares Euhrl.. letÆs mash it.. I ainÆt killed nothin since this mornin when I squished some poor fellerÆs dawg in the canteen.ö
So IÆm in the grapefruit.. and I have to travel 75km back to the station at warp-factor-crawl-speed. And the convoy PASSES ME as IÆm traveling, each one of them waving out of their %*(#&)% windows and IÆm floating along there. IÆm sure that even the server AI ripped an intestine laughing at that one.
I'm thinking I should trade in my fighter's wings for industrial ship training wheels on a more permanent basis.. Because I can tell you right now, if it has a gun, an engine, or even a bad name like Chandler, it can get me killed.
Final Score û Miners, Merchants, Guns and the Universe: 4 û Whispere: 0
Love,
Whispere Star Crossed Scourge of the Universe? Concord Training Drone / General Anti-Hero-ine The Legions of Fire - Doussivitte
Smashing herself and her ships all over the galaxy for your entertainment since 1981! (EVE-Mail Welcome!)
Other Whisp (Not-So) Epic Misadventures: Whispere's Newbie Adventure #1 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #2 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #3 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #4 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #5 Whispere's Newbie Adventure #6
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Weirda
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:32:00 -
[3]
Bummer for you cruiser...
Great Read though!!! -- Thread Killer
<END TRANSMISSION> |
Weirda
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:32:00 -
[4]
Bummer for you cruiser...
Great Read though!!! -- Thread Killer
<END TRANSMISSION> |
Elrathias
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:45:00 -
[5]
hmm i gotta try that someday.
gonan kit out my badger mk2. small smartbomb, dual 150mm railgun, 1 medium armorrepairer, 2 plates, webb, warpjam, cargoscanner, ecm burst x2 --------------------------
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Elrathias
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:45:00 -
[6]
hmm i gotta try that someday.
gonan kit out my badger mk2. small smartbomb, dual 150mm railgun, 1 medium armorrepairer, 2 plates, webb, warpjam, cargoscanner, ecm burst x2 --------------------------
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Gift
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:55:00 -
[7]
i alway enjoy your little storys thanks
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Gift
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Posted - 2004.08.12 20:55:00 -
[8]
i alway enjoy your little storys thanks
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Comet Girl
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:00:00 -
[9]
People at work are looking at me funny. I have been laughing for the past 10 minutes. Great post as always, love your stories. Keep 'em coming. Some one's alt |
Comet Girl
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:00:00 -
[10]
People at work are looking at me funny. I have been laughing for the past 10 minutes. Great post as always, love your stories. Keep 'em coming. Some one's alt |
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crice
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:09:00 -
[11]
That was a great read. Talk to Xanz, sounds like you would be a fun addition to the corp.
crice
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crice
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:09:00 -
[12]
That was a great read. Talk to Xanz, sounds like you would be a fun addition to the corp.
crice
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Neon Genesis
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:29:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Neon Genesis on 12/08/2004 21:30:54 supoib as always
don't giv up on being ebil!! __
There, i just contributed nothing to your thread
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Neon Genesis
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:29:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Neon Genesis on 12/08/2004 21:30:54 supoib as always
don't giv up on being ebil!! __
There, i just contributed nothing to your thread
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Father Lazarous
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:55:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Father Lazarous on 12/08/2004 21:56:36
Originally by: Whispere Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 21:20:04 Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 20:29:27 So IÆm in the grapefruit.. and I have to travel 75km back to the station at warp-factor-crawl-speed. And the convoy PASSES ME as IÆm traveling, each one of them waving out of their %*(#&)% windows and IÆm floating along there. IÆm sure that even the server AI ripped an intestine laughing at that one.
Whispere,
Love your stories, that paragraph was extremely funny as well. At least I have a bit more luck then your good self?
Have you considered 0.0 space, you could potentially earn enough grapefruits to fill a basket or two!
Keep the faith and good luck for the future!
--- ...damn, my sig was nerf'd by CCP. |
Father Lazarous
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Posted - 2004.08.12 21:55:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Father Lazarous on 12/08/2004 21:56:36
Originally by: Whispere Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 21:20:04 Edited by: Whispere on 12/08/2004 20:29:27 So IÆm in the grapefruit.. and I have to travel 75km back to the station at warp-factor-crawl-speed. And the convoy PASSES ME as IÆm traveling, each one of them waving out of their %*(#&)% windows and IÆm floating along there. IÆm sure that even the server AI ripped an intestine laughing at that one.
Whispere,
Love your stories, that paragraph was extremely funny as well. At least I have a bit more luck then your good self?
Have you considered 0.0 space, you could potentially earn enough grapefruits to fill a basket or two!
Keep the faith and good luck for the future!
--- ...damn, my sig was nerf'd by CCP. |
Chrome Born
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Posted - 2004.08.12 23:15:00 -
[17]
Love it keep em coming, cant stop laughing ;)
Chrome Born.
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Chrome Born
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Posted - 2004.08.12 23:15:00 -
[18]
Love it keep em coming, cant stop laughing ;)
Chrome Born.
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Major Bash
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Posted - 2004.08.13 03:58:00 -
[19]
OMG. That's some funny s*** Keep 'em comming
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Major Bash
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Posted - 2004.08.13 03:58:00 -
[20]
OMG. That's some funny s*** Keep 'em comming
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Ly'sol
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Posted - 2004.08.13 04:24:00 -
[21]
Whispere,
Reminds me of the time I decided I would try and remove the Caldari Sentry gun threat but fireing a full spread of cruise missles into it...
Anyways...DONT JOIN ANY BIG CORP!!....they are EVIL...all of them. They will take that glowy thing inside you that is fun and good and turn it black and cold by feeding you hate to make you fight thier bad guys!
You should start your own corp. -------------------------- Vist the Jericho Fraction Forums
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Ly'sol
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Posted - 2004.08.13 04:24:00 -
[22]
Whispere,
Reminds me of the time I decided I would try and remove the Caldari Sentry gun threat but fireing a full spread of cruise missles into it...
Anyways...DONT JOIN ANY BIG CORP!!....they are EVIL...all of them. They will take that glowy thing inside you that is fun and good and turn it black and cold by feeding you hate to make you fight thier bad guys!
You should start your own corp. -------------------------- Vist the Jericho Fraction Forums
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Cruz
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Posted - 2004.08.13 04:28:00 -
[23]
LOL I just took the time to read all your other stories, and these are class, keep em coming!! ................. |
Cruz
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Posted - 2004.08.13 04:28:00 -
[24]
LOL I just took the time to read all your other stories, and these are class, keep em coming!! ................. |
Nan Flori
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Posted - 2004.08.13 08:17:00 -
[25]
very nice read, keep em coming!
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Nan Flori
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Posted - 2004.08.13 08:17:00 -
[26]
very nice read, keep em coming!
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Killash Larz
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Posted - 2004.08.13 08:28:00 -
[27]
Fantasic - you ought to get a sponser...
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Killash Larz
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Posted - 2004.08.13 08:28:00 -
[28]
Fantasic - you ought to get a sponser...
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Sidhe
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Posted - 2004.08.13 10:10:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Whispere
ôHey Buhbuh.. ainÆt that there Care-a-cull flyin like that Eh-tron the other day? I cud have sworn we blowed that one to tarnation and back..ö ôWho cares Euhrl.. letÆs mash it.. I ainÆt killed nothin since this mornin when I squished some poor fellerÆs dawg in the canteen.ö
ROFLMAO, I love it when you talk sentry...
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Sidhe
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Posted - 2004.08.13 10:10:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Whispere
ôHey Buhbuh.. ainÆt that there Care-a-cull flyin like that Eh-tron the other day? I cud have sworn we blowed that one to tarnation and back..ö ôWho cares Euhrl.. letÆs mash it.. I ainÆt killed nothin since this mornin when I squished some poor fellerÆs dawg in the canteen.ö
ROFLMAO, I love it when you talk sentry...
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