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Bank ofRetribution
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
0
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:30:00 -
[1] - Quote
As a representative of several interdependent economic ventures, industrial organizations, and speculators-- and due to the rather ill-timed excesses of a given notoriously unscrupulous alliance, I am hereby announcing the initiation of a new, historically novel and economically comprehensive galactic contract.
Our funds are virtually unlimited, as we are drawing profits from established market manipulations, real world cash conversions (thanks to the innovation of PLEX and its current sale price), and some very well placed strategic investments. These investments stretch over 6 years in a variety of diversified holdings.
Our contract with you is simple, and lucrative.
We are currently offering bounties of 1 billion isk per frozen corpse of any member of Goonwaffe or Goonfleet who currently, or previously has held a named leadership position in these companies. This includes all past players who have held these leadership positions, whether or not they are still enlisted in the ranks of these corporations. Frozen corpses of Director and CEO positions will be awarded 10 trillion isk.
The outcome of this re-distribution of wealth throughout the game will, for a short time, wreak havoc on the markets as the excess funds temporarily drive down prices... and, for those who are not adaptive nor prepared for this eventuality, will find that their support of the inflation Goon has created will suffer the same fate akin to real world investors in properties and precious commodities.
Conditions:
The corpses must be delivered to any base within 1 jump of Jita, and contracted to me for the price of 2,012 isk. Contracts should be set for at least one week to allow for timely payment. Make sure that you set your fees according to these guidelines, without exception, or the payout will be null and void. Also note the particular spelling of the recipient: "Bank ofRetribution" with no space between the 'f' and 'R.' We do not require documentation or evidence of the named roles a player has had... our agents have infiltrated Goon corporations for years and we already know who they are. Payouts will only be distributed to the contract initiator. Note that entry level Goon recruits who have not had altered roles and leadership responsibilities will not qualify for this award.
All of these corpses must be delivered within the next 20 days- with the resolution of all remaining payout contracts within 3 days of the terminal contract date.
Contracts can be initiated at any time now, and will be compensated within 72 hours.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter, and enjoy the isk.
Best regards,
Bank ofRetribution |
Karn Dulake
Souls Must Be Trampled The.Alliance
627
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:32:00 -
[2] - Quote
Editing as we speak I dont normally troll, but when i do i do it on General Discussion. |
Innominate
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
172
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:35:00 -
[3] - Quote
I have a mittani corpse I'd be willing to sell. |
Abel Merkabah
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
4
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:36:00 -
[4] - Quote
Give me 5 Trillion in advance, and I'll do it... "To destroy is always the first step in any creation." - E. E. Cummings |
Jessie42
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
113
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:37:00 -
[5] - Quote
Oh boy. |
That Handsome Frog
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
1
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:38:00 -
[6] - Quote
Because people would never come up with the idea to kill themselves to contract corpses over. |
Graic Gabtar
The Lemon Party
165
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:39:00 -
[7] - Quote
Mittens had better log on so he can start podding himself. EVE shall be purged by fire - please Gods let them ALL burn in Jita. |
Mars Theran
EVE Rogues EVE Rogues Alliance
179
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:42:00 -
[8] - Quote
Well, that's awfully vague. Why don't you just post the names of these individuals and the bounties for each of them.
For example:
The Mitanni - 10 Trillion ISK
Vile Rat - 10 Trillion ISK
Andski - 1 Billion ISK.. or is that 10 Trillion; I have no idea as I've never been concerned enough about any of them to look that closely.
..then perhaps you could use a Corp with a similar name to the character instead of just an alt. Make a little investment at least.
What exactly is it you hope to gain by this anyway? ..aside from possibly a lot of Goon corpses very cheap? It's unlikely you'll get any of the higher up ones anyway, unless they contract them to you themselves. That's actually a fair possibility all things considered.
To reiterate: What was the purpose of this? Alliance Auction - EVE Rogues: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=1215438#post1215438 |
Darth Tickles
Dark Sun Consortium
311
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:44:00 -
[9] - Quote
More like the end of all goodposting, amirite?
hi5s all around |
Morganta
Peripheral Madness The Midget Mafia
1090
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:45:00 -
[10] - Quote
end result
bank of retribution gets thousands of goon corpses for 2012 isk per and the sellers get nothing
transparent scam is transparent The American public's reaction to the change was poor and the new cola was a major marketing failure. The subsequent reintroduction of Coke's original formula, re-branded as "Coca-Cola Classic", resulted in a significant gain in sales, leading to speculation that the introduction of the New Coke formula was just a marketing ploy |
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Simetraz
State War Academy Caldari State
246
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 03:51:00 -
[11] - Quote
Morganta wrote:end result
bank of retribution gets thousands of goon corpses for 2012 isk per and the sellers get nothing
transparent scam is transparent
Actually I got money on Mittens podding himself with an alt and making a ton more ISK.
Better yet you will find every last officer in Goonswarm now has a standing order to do the same. |
Abel Merkabah
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
5
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:01:00 -
[12] - Quote
Simetraz wrote:Morganta wrote:end result
bank of retribution gets thousands of goon corpses for 2012 isk per and the sellers get nothing
transparent scam is transparent Actually I got money on Mittens podding himself with an alt and making a ton more ISK. Better yet you will find every last officer in Goonswarm now has a standing order to do the same.
Ha, there is only 2012 ISK...getting Goons to kill themselves/each other for 3 days is the plan...as stated above obvious scam is obvious...lol... "To destroy is always the first step in any creation." - E. E. Cummings |
Nylith Empyreal
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
112
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:04:00 -
[13] - Quote
Don't corpse names not show up in contracts anymore? Wasn't there an Assembly hall thread about this?
https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=62621&find=unread "Oh, you can't help that," said the troll: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" -ásaid the forumwarrior. "You must be," said the troll, "or you wouldn't have come here." |
Andski
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
4112
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:10:00 -
[14] - Quote
I have a DBRB corpse. How much does that go for? "WeGÇÖre a professional Merc Alliance, like PL" ~ snot shot, 2012 |
Andski
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
4112
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:13:00 -
[15] - Quote
Also, what's my bounty? Just wondering. "WeGÇÖre a professional Merc Alliance, like PL" ~ snot shot, 2012 |
Gloomy Gus
GoonWaffe
304
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:16:00 -
[16] - Quote
Morganta wrote:ult
bank of retribution gets thousands of goon corpses for 2012 isk per and the sellers get nothing
You forgot the particular spelling of the recipient: "Bank ofRetribution" with no space between the 'f' and 'R.'
step up your game
"DIE N***ERS1 DIE!!!" - EVENEWS24's Riverini |
Akirei Scytale
Test Alliance Please Ignore
1385
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:17:00 -
[17] - Quote
You just made a lot of goons super rich.
"Never not shoot blues"
I have a damn collection of BoodaBooda corpses. If only they still had names on them. TEST Alliance BEST Alliance |
Gloomy Gus
GoonWaffe
304
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:20:00 -
[18] - Quote
Can you please at least put a courtesy bounty on me so that I don't have to admit to the other goons in the showers that nobody cares if I'm dead "DIE N***ERS1 DIE!!!" - EVENEWS24's Riverini |
Abel Merkabah
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
5
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:22:00 -
[19] - Quote
Gloomy Gus wrote:Can you please at least put a courtesy bounty on me so that I don't have to admit to the other goons in the showers that nobody cares if I'm dead
+.01 ISK Bounty
I care...please, I am poor though, might have trouble paying out if you off yourself for it...lol... "To destroy is always the first step in any creation." - E. E. Cummings |
Degren
Red Federation RvB - RED Federation
259
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:24:00 -
[20] - Quote
Adorable.
But really, just another reason I kinda wish we were limited to one account each. If this kind of thing were possible I think assassinations would be fairly common/awesome. Passive aggression, huh? -áNo, that's fine. |
|
Herping yourDerp
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
552
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:25:00 -
[21] - Quote
Did this REALLY get posted.... |
Abel Merkabah
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
6
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:30:00 -
[22] - Quote
Degren wrote:Adorable.
But really, just another reason I kinda wish we were limited to one account each. If this kind of thing were possible I think assassinations would be fairly common/awesome.
I think assassinations could be common and awesome, even with the same game mechanics, you just can't rely on bounties...
For example, let's assume I create a corporation that is a group of assassins. We will kill anyone for a price. How could you corrupt that? There would be no way for the target to weasel their way out of it (excluding not playing). Matter of fact, through private contracts, the target shouldn't even know they have been targeted.
Once a Corporation of assassins has established themselves as trustworthy (meaning they don't scam their customers), it should not be hard to place a bounty on someone. You just create a contract with the Assassin Corporation, and they do the job. Easy nuff...kill mail provides all the proof necessary to see that the job was done.
The problem is with these global bounties and the idea that anyone can collect; that will never work because of the known problems with the game. "To destroy is always the first step in any creation." - E. E. Cummings |
Joran Dravius
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
18
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:50:00 -
[23] - Quote
Corpses don't have names anymore. There's a thread about it. |
Bank ofRetribution
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
0
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 04:59:00 -
[24] - Quote
All corpses and kill dates are verifiable these days whether or not they are labeled. Thank you for expressing your concerns.
Again, we know who has been represented in the leadership roles of these organizations, and we can easily verify a kill and the date on which it occurs.
We are very pleased with the immediate responsive plans to our contract.
Happy hunting.
|
Preceptor Stigmartyr
Thunderwaffe Goonswarm Federation
0
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 05:22:00 -
[25] - Quote
Cool Story Bro!
Tell it again. |
No More Heroes
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
10
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 05:35:00 -
[26] - Quote
For being brilliant and omnipotent financial wizards you really don't understand this game very well do you.. . |
Cpt Roghie
4
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 06:15:00 -
[27] - Quote
Talk about feeding the troll.... Pathetic.
Why?
Because I can.
|
Alavaria Fera
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
611
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 06:18:00 -
[28] - Quote
No More Heroes wrote:For being brilliant and omnipotent financial wizards you really don't understand this game very well do you.. They were sponsoring hulkageddon and jacking up tech prices before it was popular. Those who cannot adapt become victims of Evolugalbugaslugakjlwsdhvbzxd |
Gogela
Freeport Exploration Loosely Affiliated Pirates Alliance
724
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 06:25:00 -
[29] - Quote
I will respond in like kind:
Durp durkah mah durkah. Mallaka durka derp.
|
Shian Yang
80
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 06:38:00 -
[30] - Quote
Abel Merkabah wrote:Once a Corporation of assassins has established themselves as trustworthy (meaning they don't scam their customers), it should not be hard to place a bounty on someone. You just create a contract with the Assassin Corporation, and they do the job. Easy nuff...kill mail provides all the proof necessary to see that the job was done.
Greetings capsuleer,
Within New Eden everything is possible for those with imagination. The Guiding Hand Social Club should be your inspiration.
Regards,
Shian Yang |
|
Son IamaDerp
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
22
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 06:52:00 -
[31] - Quote
I think the OP is into necrophilia. |
Abel Merkabah
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
6
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 11:57:00 -
[32] - Quote
Shian Yang wrote:Abel Merkabah wrote:Once a Corporation of assassins has established themselves as trustworthy (meaning they don't scam their customers), it should not be hard to place a bounty on someone. You just create a contract with the Assassin Corporation, and they do the job. Easy nuff...kill mail provides all the proof necessary to see that the job was done. Greetings capsuleer, Within New Eden everything is possible for those with imagination. The Guiding Hand Social Club should be your inspiration. Regards, Shian Yang
Very nice! Thank you. "To destroy is always the first step in any creation." - E. E. Cummings |
Asuri Kinnes
Adhocracy Incorporated Adhocracy
415
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 14:20:00 -
[33] - Quote
Bank ofRetribution wrote: :psyduck: WTF?
You can't do any better than that? ****, if I were one of the former leaders, I would pod the hell out of myself...
This is an entirely new level of stupid...
Wormholes: The *NEW* end game of Eve - Online: No Local. No Lag. No Blues (No Intell Channesl). No Blobs.
NEW FEATURE: NO INCARNA! |
Yeep
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
159
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 15:34:00 -
[34] - Quote
As an ex-CEO of Goonfleet corporation I keep a couple of my own corpses around. Unfortunately they're all located in Syndicate. I'd be willing to sell them for the bargain price of 5 trillion isk to avoid having to move them myself. |
highonpop
Void.Tech Fatal Ascension
51
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 15:42:00 -
[35] - Quote
sorry wrong thread My post was probably full of typos. I don;t care... |
Alavaria Fera
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
611
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 16:03:00 -
[36] - Quote
Shian Yang wrote:Abel Merkabah wrote:Once a Corporation of assassins has established themselves as trustworthy (meaning they don't scam their customers), it should not be hard to place a bounty on someone. You just create a contract with the Assassin Corporation, and they do the job. Easy nuff...kill mail provides all the proof necessary to see that the job was done. Greetings capsuleer, Within New Eden everything is possible for those with imagination. The Guiding Hand Social Club should be your inspiration. Regards, Shian Yang Your mission: infiltrate the GSF holding corp and hit the button. Those who cannot adapt become victims of Evolugalbugaslugakjlwsdhvbzxd |
Antisocial Malkavian
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
66
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 16:20:00 -
[37] - Quote
Abel Merkabah wrote:Simetraz wrote:Morganta wrote:end result
bank of retribution gets thousands of goon corpses for 2012 isk per and the sellers get nothing
transparent scam is transparent Actually I got money on Mittens podding himself with an alt and making a ton more ISK. Better yet you will find every last officer in Goonswarm now has a standing order to do the same. Ha, there is only 2012 ISK...getting Goons to kill themselves/each other for 3 days is the plan...as stated above obvious scam is obvious...lol...
Be funny if it was a Goon scam to start with lol http://www.bioone.org/doi/abs/10.2317/JKES0811.17.1 Bees That Drink Human Tears -- ITS SCIENCE!!! |
Jake Warbird
Republic Military School Minmatar Republic
970
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 16:47:00 -
[38] - Quote
Gogela wrote:I will respond in like kind:
Durp durkah mah durkah. Mallaka durka derp. Still made more sense than OP. |
Weaselior
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
3071
|
Posted - 2012.05.07 17:00:00 -
[39] - Quote
this is a pretty lame scam |
Eric Konway
Silverwing Explorers Unfamiliar Presence
3
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 07:06:00 -
[40] - Quote
Gloomy Gus wrote:Can you please at least put a courtesy bounty on me so that I don't have to admit to the other goons in the showers that nobody cares if I'm dead
Dude, that made my heart break a little bit. I'll throw a quick Mil on your head if that will make you feel better? I just want to show we do care about you, and will rejoice when your gooey corpse has been turned into a Popsicle. |
|
Polly Oxford
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
19
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 07:19:00 -
[41] - Quote
Weaselior wrote:this is a pretty lame scam
So? Even if I don't get any isk, frabba letting me pod him a few times it's well worth the effort. It's a won for me either way. |
Nyla Skin
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
69
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 08:53:00 -
[42] - Quote
Simetraz wrote: Actually I got money on Mittens podding himself with an alt and making a ton more ISK.
I just had a flash of insight..
Selfdestructing a pod shouldnt leave a corpse behind, and one should turn corpses in to get player bounties..
Oh well, its still not working :( |
Andski
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
4149
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 08:55:00 -
[43] - Quote
I have two corpses that may be of interest to you, DBRB's and my own. I'll take my 20 trillion tia "WeGÇÖre a professional Merc Alliance, like PL" ~ snot shot, 2012 |
Scien Inkunen
School of Applied Knowledge Caldari State
41
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 09:20:00 -
[44] - Quote
Bank ofRetribution wrote:As a representative of several interdependent economic ventures, industrial organizations, and speculators-- and due to the rather ill-timed excesses of a given notoriously unscrupulous alliance, I am hereby announcing the initiation of a new, historically novel and economically comprehensive galactic contract.
Our funds are virtually unlimited, as we are drawing profits from established market manipulations, real world cash conversions (thanks to the innovation of PLEX and its current sale price), and some very well placed strategic investments. These investments stretch over 6 years in a variety of diversified holdings.
Our contract with you is simple, and lucrative.
We are currently offering bounties of 1 billion isk per frozen corpse of any member of Goonwaffe or Goonfleet who currently, or previously has held a named leadership position in these companies. This includes all past players who have held these leadership positions, whether or not they are still enlisted in the ranks of these corporations. Frozen corpses of Director and CEO positions will be awarded 10 trillion isk.
The outcome of this re-distribution of wealth throughout the game will, for a short time, wreak havoc on the markets as the excess funds temporarily drive down prices... and, for those who are not adaptive nor prepared for this eventuality, will find that their support of the inflation Goon has created will suffer the same fate akin to real world investors in properties and precious commodities.
Conditions:
The corpses must be delivered to any base within 1 jump of Jita, and contracted to me for the price of 2,012 isk. Contracts should be set for at least one week to allow for timely payment. Make sure that you set your fees according to these guidelines, without exception, or the payout will be null and void. Also note the particular spelling of the recipient: "Bank ofRetribution" with no space between the 'f' and 'R.' We do not require documentation or evidence of the named roles a player has had... our agents have infiltrated Goon corporations for years and we already know who they are. Payouts will only be distributed to the contract initiator. Note that entry level Goon recruits who have not had altered roles and leadership responsibilities will not qualify for this award.
All of these corpses must be delivered within the next 20 days- with the resolution of all remaining payout contracts within 3 days of the terminal contract date.
Contracts can be initiated at any time now, and will be compensated within 72 hours.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter, and enjoy the isk.
Best regards,
Bank ofRetribution
You are really bored, arenGÇÖt you?
Read the "Fart file" and you will understand the meaning of life ! |
ugh zug
22
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 10:23:00 -
[45] - Quote
That Handsome Frog wrote:Because people would never come up with the idea to kill themselves to contract corpses over.
Want me to shut up?-á Send me ISK and i'll stop giving suggestions to CCP that make sense. Remove content from my post, 15 bil Remove my content from a thread I have started 30bil. |
Kirikarasu
R3D SHIFT Red Dawn Alliance
1
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 13:33:00 -
[46] - Quote
I'm not saying this is legit, but if the OP really does have spais in the swarm then they could possibly verify the kills. As for the corpses I'm not too sure how you would verify that other than verifying the person contracting the corpse did the killing.
nice troll though.
I give it 6/10. Good effort. |
Bank ofRetribution
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
1
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 19:21:00 -
[47] - Quote
We sincerely appreciate the number of questions and enthusiasm about the contract. To further clarify the conditions of payment, only kills that occur after May 5th will be considered.
Thank you. |
Letrange
Chaosstorm Corporation
46
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 19:29:00 -
[48] - Quote
/me facepalms
One of 3 possibilities:
1) the OP is a goon alt 2) the OP is a troll 3) the OP is to noobs what noobs are to the rest of us
Note that options one and two are not mutually exclusive. I can not conceive a 4th possibility. |
CATPAIN KIRK
State War Academy Caldari State
67
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 19:47:00 -
[49] - Quote
Were can I sign up for an asinination squat? |
Fredfredbug4
The Scope Gallente Federation
286
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 19:51:00 -
[50] - Quote
The bounty system is worthless. There are people flying around with bounties higher than what you will put on GOON members that haven't even seen a bounty hunter.
If you want to take down the Goons then you are going to have to get out of the Barge and get into the Battleship.
Do you really think you are the first to place bounties on the Goons? Do you think that doing the same thing that others have done will produce a different result?
These are the people blowing themselves up just to kill an industrial ship. Do you honestly believe getting them blown up is going to convince them to stop? |
|
SmallGang Bandit
54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry Alliance 99000802
0
|
Posted - 2012.05.08 20:15:00 -
[51] - Quote
It shocks me, SHOCKS ME that you fools do not see through this vile plot.
GoonSwarm is behind this. Everyone who has a corpse will be put on a list. That list will be provided to the Goon death squads as a proving ground for the groups activity. Everyone who is willing to acquire and then give up a corpse of a Goon leader is obviously ant-Goon, and should suffer the wrath of the GoonSwarm death squads.
This diabolical plan is as plain as the chocolate milk-mustache on my upper lip.
Oh, wait, I don't have an upper lip right now.
/me runs to the client to create an avatar... |
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