Pages: 1 [2] 3 :: one page |
|
Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Dravius Luxor
Minmatar Phoibe Enterprises
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 12:39:00 -
[31]
Normally trolls annoy me.
This however, is a masterful piece of entertainment
|
Lord Gary
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 12:46:00 -
[32]
Originally by: Dravius Luxor
This...is a masterful piece of entertainment
Now thats more like it! I knew that someone somewhere would appreciate my raw talent for the written word. Maybe it is just my destiny to become a lot more famous after I die, Philip K. **** stlye.
|
Havohej
Minmatar Du'uma Fiisi Integrated Astrometrics
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 13:19:00 -
[33]
tbh OP's name isn't John Rourke so I didn't even click his link.
"You can still steal their stuff." - CCP Explorer |
Ghost Nightmare
Maximum Yarrage
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 13:29:00 -
[34]
Successful troll is Successful
congrats Gary, you took advantage of peoples love for clear skies and trolled them to **** with it
much respect!!1111!1
Ghost
|
Arda Xi
Gallente
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 13:43:00 -
[35]
Originally by: Lord Gary
Originally by: Dravius Luxor
This...is a masterful piece of entertainment
Now thats more like it! I knew that someone somewhere would appreciate my raw talent for the written word. Maybe it is just my destiny to become a lot more famous after I die, Philip K. **** stlye.
He meant it was entertaining how well you trolled. Not the story. Are you really that dumb? ---
|
nikki universe
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 13:43:00 -
[36]
Edited by: nikki universe on 17/05/2009 13:43:10 This is either a great troll or very bad fan fiction riding the success of someone elses hard work.
Grammer and structure are horrendous and border on rambling. I think the OP needs to get back to basics and review The Elements of Style if this in fact not a troll.
|
Hra Neuvosto
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 13:50:00 -
[37]
Originally by: Arda Xi
Originally by: Lord Gary
Originally by: Dravius Luxor
This...is a masterful piece of entertainment
Now thats more like it! I knew that someone somewhere would appreciate my raw talent for the written word. Maybe it is just my destiny to become a lot more famous after I die, Philip K. **** stlye.
He meant it was entertaining how well you trolled. Not the story. Are you really that dumb?
And another one falls into the troll's trap.
|
Lord Gary
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 16:17:00 -
[38]
Originally by: nikki universe Edited by: nikki universe on 17/05/2009 13:43:10 This is either a great troll or very bad fan fiction riding the success of someone elses hard work.
Grammer and structure are horrendous and border on rambling. I think the OP needs to get back to basics and review The Elements of Style if this in fact not a troll.
I don't understand, I'm not trying to ride on the success of anyone else. My story is ment to be set in the world of Clear Skies and attempt to give an explination for why their ship is wrecked in the first scene of the first movie. I'm not trolling anything, it took me a lot of effort to write this, especially since the source material (Clear Skies) was lacking in characterisation somewhat.
|
Hyperforce99
Gallente Infinite Covenant United Front Alliance
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 16:43:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Lord Gary
Originally by: nikki universe Edited by: nikki universe on 17/05/2009 13:43:10 This is either a great troll or very bad fan fiction riding the success of someone elses hard work.
Grammer and structure are horrendous and border on rambling. I think the OP needs to get back to basics and review The Elements of Style if this in fact not a troll.
I don't understand, I'm not trying to ride on the success of anyone else. My story is ment to be set in the world of Clear Skies and attempt to give an explination for why their ship is wrecked in the first scene of the first movie. I'm not trolling anything, it took me a lot of effort to write this, especially since the source material (Clear Skies) was lacking in characterisation somewhat.
I don't think this is a troll, They usually don't drag it out like this.
But your saying the source material lacked characterisation... we don't need to know every little scrap of the characters in order to follow the story. All we needed to know was that they had quite some history getting shot at and the last time that happened nearly did them in.
And even if we do require a prequel to explain this, your fanfiction does NOT qualify!
If this was the pilot episode of a series dedicated to an allready excisting movie your audience would have flipped to another channel about 5 minutes in.
Your story go's from being simply "out of character" to being played in an "alternate universe/timeline" than clear skies... to something that has nothing to do with clear skies at all.
Your story changes JR's personality in the first paragraph Your story changes the set technology presented in clear skies just after that Your story cuts JR and CLEAR SKIES out of the picture halfway through Your story somehow makes JR a lover of your own fictional character... right after you make JR allmost worship her right before. Your story ends with a stolen and out of place line.
If you wanted to do a story about this legendary scammer, then you should have explained about her before you bombarded your audience with unknown and out of place concepts.
The gundam navitas doesn't make any sense, you an try to bring the jove in... but even jove ships in game don't transform into gundams.
Its really simple OP, for all the boasting that you did about your so called experience. Even if this were to be true, you are not showing it here. What you are showing is a clear lack of understanding of EVE fiction, CLEAR SKIES fiction and storytelling in general.
And one other thing: Stop writing your own bad fiction in other peoples work when your fiction isn't even about that.
And if you are a troll, consider yourself fed.
--------------------------------------------- Somewhere beyond happyness and sadness, I need to calculate what creates my own madness o/ |
Merin Ryskin
Peregrine Industries
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 18:11:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Hyperforce99 I don't think this is a troll, They usually don't drag it out like this.
It's very obviously a troll, and a successful one, judging by how many people have taken him seriously. Read this:
I'm having a hard time believing anyone has actually read it. Maybe it is a bit too high-brow for the masses but this is the level of professional writing I am used to. If someone could give me some CONSTRUCTIVE critism, even go through it and give feedback on each paragraph I would be very grateful.
this is the level of professional writing I am used to
professional writing
I rest my case. -----------
|
|
Guttripper
State War Academy
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 18:15:00 -
[41]
Originally by: Lord Gary First let me just say I am 23 years old, I've been writing professionally now for the past 5 years as a way to make money to pay for college.
Have you been published elsewhere since you mentioned writing professionally? Perhaps the times have changed and I've had fan fiction stories published at EVE-Mag but would not consider myself a professional.
Curious for curiosity sake.
|
BrottarBritta
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 19:21:00 -
[42]
I've coughed up better stuff than that. Please stop.
|
Kazuo Ishiguro
House of Marbles Zzz
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 19:35:00 -
[43]
Originally by: Miguel de Cervantes
DON QUIXOTE: BOOK II
THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE
God bless me, gentle (or it may be plebeian) reader, how eagerly must thou be looking forward to this preface, expecting to find there retaliation, scolding, and abuse against the author of the second Don Quixote--I mean him who was, they say, begotten at Tordesillas and born at Tarragona! Well then, the truth is, I am not going to give thee that satisfaction; for, though injuries stir up anger in humbler breasts, in mine the rule must admit of an exception. Thou wouldst have me call him ass, fool, and malapert, but I have no such intention; let his offence be his punishment, with his bread let him eat it, and there's an end of it. What I cannot help taking amiss is that he charges me with being old and one-handed, as if it had been in my power to keep time from passing over me, or as if the loss of my hand had been brought about in some tavern, and not on the grandest occasion the past or present has seen, or the future can hope to see. If my wounds have no beauty to the beholder's eye, they are, at least, honourable in the estimation of those who know where they were received; for the soldier shows to greater advantage dead in battle than alive in flight; and so strongly is this my feeling, that if now it were proposed to perform an impossibility for me, I would rather have had my share in that mighty action, than be free from my wounds this minute without having been present at it. Those the soldier shows on his face and breast are stars that direct others to the heaven of honour and ambition of merited praise; and moreover it is to be observed that it is not with grey hairs that one writes, but with the understanding, and that commonly improves with years. I take it amiss, too, that he calls me envious, and explains to me, as if I were ignorant, what envy is; for really and truly, of the two kinds there are, I only know that which is holy, noble, and high-minded; and if that be so, as it is, I am not likely to attack a priest, above all if, in addition, he holds the rank of familiar of the Holy Office. And if he said what he did on account of him on whose behalf it seems he spoke, he is entirely mistaken; for I worship the genius of that person, and admire his works and his unceasing and strenuous industry. After all, I am grateful to this gentleman, the author, for saying that my novels are more satirical than exemplary, but that they are good; for they could not be that unless there was a little of everything in them.
I suspect thou wilt say that I am taking a very humble line, and keeping myself too much within the bounds of my moderation, from a feeling that additional suffering should not be inflicted upon a sufferer, and that what this gentleman has to endure must doubtless be very great, as he does not dare to come out into the open field and broad daylight, but hides his name and disguises his country as if he had been guilty of some lese majesty. If perchance thou shouldst come to know him, tell him from me that I do not hold myself aggrieved; for I know well what the temptations of the devil are, and that one of the greatest is putting it into a man's head that he can write and print a book by which he will get as much fame as money, and as much money as fame; and to prove it I will beg of you, in your own sprightly, pleasant way, to tell him this story.
--- 20:1 mineral compression ISRC Racing, Season 7 - schedule |
Kazuo Ishiguro
House of Marbles Zzz
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 19:37:00 -
[44]
Quote: There was a madman in Seville who took to one of the drollest absurdities and vagaries that ever madman in the world gave way to. It was this: he made a tube of reed sharp at one end, and catching a dog in the street, or wherever it might be, he with his foot held one of its legs fast, and with his hand lifted up the other, and as best he could fixed the tube where, by blowing, he made the dog as round as a ball; then holding it in this position, he gave it a couple of slaps on the belly, and let it go, saying to the bystanders (and there were always plenty of them): "Do your worships think, now, that it is an easy thing to blow up a dog?"--Does your worship think now, that it is an easy thing to write a book?
--- 20:1 mineral compression ISRC Racing, Season 7 - schedule |
Cereah
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 19:47:00 -
[45]
Please for the love of gawd take the words CLEAR and SKIES out of your Topics Title. It's very deceiving to a fan hoping the original author might have thought about doing a prequel.
Your story seriously lacked in several places already mentioned so I'm not going to bother adding to the pile.
Truth is, it isn't good dude. At all. Not one good comment. Keep it for yourself, submit it to your professional backer, whatever. It is NOT... NOT Clear Skies' Prequel.
|
Lord Gary
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 20:11:00 -
[46]
Originally by: Guttripper
Originally by: Lord Gary First let me just say I am 23 years old, I've been writing professionally now for the past 5 years as a way to make money to pay for college.
Have you been published elsewhere since you mentioned writing professionally? Perhaps the times have changed and I've had fan fiction stories published at EVE-Mag but would not consider myself a professional.
Curious for curiosity sake.
My work has been published by a couple of publishers here in the UK. Penguin being the biggest. There are a couple of my books in Waterstones if you have one locally. Look up my pen name "Edward Darling" .
|
Komen
Gallente Domination.
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 20:20:00 -
[47]
Dear sir,
I read the extract in your initial post. This was enough to convince me to steer wide and clear of whatever is contained within the link.
I applaud your enthusiasm for wasting other people's time, but frankly you should develop your writing skills further. Perhaps visit one of the numerous workshops that seek to improve authorial talent.
Sincerely,
Komen
|
Malvaceae Veri
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 20:25:00 -
[48]
Originally by: Lord Gary Look up my pen name "Edward Darling" .
Google yield for Edward Darling book is something from 1969.
Penguin search yields nothing.
Now, having confirmed you a sad little troll many times in this thread, could we please get a lock?
|
Darth Natus
Re-Genesis Holdings Aegis Militia
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 20:27:00 -
[49]
Delphi stood before her foe, despite the overwhelming odds and yelled "THIS IS SWARTA!" The 300 SWAtan refugees cheered in unison as they raised the lasorswords of their Valkyrie issue Ibis'.Meanwhile Queen Delphi 'Lionidas' Grendalas' megazord kicks her foe wrecking for 1000000000 damage. As the battlefield eminated an eerie silence in the wake of her defeated foe, Delphi remarked: "Though your dreadnoughts blot out the clear skies, we shall fight in the shade".
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END :):) The end
|
Lord Gary
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 20:38:00 -
[50]
Originally by: Darth Natus Delphi stood before her foe, despite the overwhelming odds and yelled "THIS IS SWARTA!" The 300 SWAtan refugees cheered in unison as they raised the lasorswords of their Valkyrie issue Ibis'.Meanwhile Queen Delphi 'Lionidas' Grendalas' megazord kicks her foe wrecking for 1000000000 damage. As the battlefield eminated an eerie silence in the wake of her defeated foe, Delphi remarked: "Though your dreadnoughts blot out the clear skies, we shall fight in the shade".
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END :):) The end
Thats not bad but it doesn't fit with how I have characterised Delphi and the SWArtans. Sorry.
|
|
Wolfie276
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 20:58:00 -
[51]
Edited by: Wolfie276 on 17/05/2009 20:58:49 Sorry Lord Gary, i got to admit this is not what i hoped for
Environment
You did not go into details about the sorroundings and such.
Story
You didn't let the reader fall into the story before dramatizing it.
Stay to the subject
If you stayed to the EvE evironment and made it "realistic" in the eve world it would be way better.
Sorry but i didn't like it
|
Arda Xi
Gallente
|
Posted - 2009.05.17 21:03:00 -
[52]
Edited by: Arda Xi on 17/05/2009 21:03:02
Originally by: Lord Gary Edited by: Lord Gary on 17/05/2009 20:39:55
Originally by: Guttripper
Originally by: Lord Gary First let me just say I am 23 years old, I've been writing professionally now for the past 5 years as a way to make money to pay for college.
Have you been published elsewhere since you mentioned writing professionally? Perhaps the times have changed and I've had fan fiction stories published at EVE-Mag but would not consider myself a professional.
Curious for curiosity sake.
My work has been published by a couple of publishers here in the UK. Penguin being the biggest. There are a couple of my books in Waterstones if you have one locally. Look up my pen name "Alan Davidson" .
Oh hi guy who's been dead since 2003.
Also, I know it's probably a troll, I just like to feed them and see other people overreact. ---
|
Lord Gary
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 11:45:00 -
[53]
Originally by: Wolfie276 Edited by: Wolfie276 on 17/05/2009 20:58:49 Sorry Lord Gary, i got to admit this is not what i hoped for
Environment
You did not go into details about the sorroundings and such.
Story
You didn't let the reader fall into the story before dramatizing it.
Stay to the subject
If you stayed to the EvE evironment and made it "realistic" in the eve world it would be way better.
Sorry but i didn't like it
Thank you for your feedback, can I just ask what writting qualifications you have so I can judge how seriously I should consider your opinion?
|
Neddy Fox
Gallente Paxton Industries Paxton Federation
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 11:52:00 -
[54]
Originally by: Lord Gary
Thank you for your feedback, can I just ask what writting qualifications you have so I can judge how seriously I should consider your opinion?
OMFG, are you serious? What the hell does writer qualifications have to do with assessing a book?
I'm a huge SF fan, a dedicated reader, and your story s*cks balls. I stopped after reading 1.5 pages.
Stop writing ! ---- [PXIN Recruiter]
PXIN Recruitement thread |
Lord Gary
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 11:54:00 -
[55]
Originally by: Neddy Fox
Originally by: Lord Gary
Thank you for your feedback, can I just ask what writting qualifications you have so I can judge how seriously I should consider your opinion?
OMFG, are you serious? What the hell does writer qualifications have to do with assessing a book?
I'm a huge SF fan, a dedicated reader, and your story s*cks balls. I stopped after reading 1.5 pages.
Stop writing !
You might have changed your mind had you continued to read. You stopped right before the good bit that binds all the strands of story telling together.
|
Dmitryilyin
Gallente Risky eXplosion Death or Glory
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 12:14:00 -
[56]
Well... Either we were just trolled or this story will look good in "Humor" part of fan-fiction.
---
|
Arrs Grazznic
Pawn Sauce Unlimited Horizons
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 12:29:00 -
[57]
Originally by: Lord Gary Look up my pen name "Edward Darling" .
Originally by: Lord Gary Look up my pen name "Alan Davidson" .
Originally by: Lord Gary Look up my pen name "Nicholas Drayson"
Give up guys! You're being trolled! Well, Iat least I hope you are ... :(
Cheers, Arrs
|
Eternal Echo
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 12:42:00 -
[58]
Originally by: Lord Gary
Originally by: Wolfie276 Edited by: Wolfie276 on 17/05/2009 20:58:49 Sorry Lord Gary, i got to admit this is not what i hoped for
Environment
You did not go into details about the sorroundings and such.
Story
You didn't let the reader fall into the story before dramatizing it.
Stay to the subject
If you stayed to the EvE evironment and made it "realistic" in the eve world it would be way better.
Sorry but i didn't like it
Thank you for your feedback, can I just ask what writting qualifications you have so I can judge how seriously I should consider your opinion?
I'd say since he can spell and remember his age he is more qualified than you to comment on your piece.
Originally by: Lord Gary explination
Originally by: Lord Gary First let me just say I am 23 years old, I've been writing professionally now for the past 5 years as a way to make money to pay for college.
Linkage
Originally by: Lord Gary First let me just say I am 27 years old, I've been writing professionally now for the past number of years as a way to make money to pay for college.
|
Vak'ran
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 12:47:00 -
[59]
Originally by: Lord Gary
Originally by: nikki universe Edited by: nikki universe on 17/05/2009 13:43:10 This is either a great troll or very bad fan fiction riding the success of someone elses hard work.
Grammer and structure are horrendous and border on rambling. I think the OP needs to get back to basics and review The Elements of Style if this in fact not a troll.
I don't understand, I'm not trying to ride on the success of anyone else. My story is ment to be set in the world of Clear Skies and attempt to give an explination for why their ship is wrecked in the first scene of the first movie. I'm not trolling anything, it took me a lot of effort to write this, especially since the source material (Clear Skies) was lacking in characterisation somewhat.
Assuming for a minute that you are not a troll, here is some explanation with no pretence of writing insight. I will mention up front that I have not read your story, here's why:
You mention you are not trying to ride the success of others. However, consciously trying or not, you are doing exactly that. You set your story in the world of Clear Skies, a world already established by the original author, someone who did go through the trouble of creating a setting himself.
Were you doing such a thing in the world of Star Trek, Star Wars, or EVE Online, people would praise you for it - provided the quality of your work is high. This is what Rourke and the others involved in Clear Skies did, and have gotten lauded for. They made a fan tribute, to EVE.
Expanding on that effort, without any form of affiliation, without any one of the original fan story artists publicly supporting your efforts, you can expect the cold reaction you are experiencing. Your story, intentional or otherwise, tries to stand on the succes of others, whichever way you turn it. The fact that the title is popular will not make you succesful de facto, and since the original author of that backstory already is an 'underdog' type fan fiction writer, will make you seem opportunistic at best. -----
Vak'Ran is your local official non-dedicated part-time advocate of reading comprehension and proliferation of intelligence on the EVE Online Forums. |
Nova Satar
Annihilate.
|
Posted - 2009.05.18 13:08:00 -
[60]
i liked it... was it a troll?
|
|
|
|
|
Pages: 1 [2] 3 :: one page |
First page | Previous page | Next page | Last page |