EVE Search - Break-ups are crap.

Search EVE-Online forums for:

All Channels

Out of Pod Experience

Break-ups are crap.

» Click here to find additional results for this topic using Google

Monitor this thread via RSS [?]

Pages: [1] :: one page

Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 0 post(s)
asertargb	Posted - 2009.05.17 21:54:00 - [1] Edited by: asertargb on 17/05/2009 21:55:50 I'd been together with a very, very close friend, who I had known for 4 years, for about a year. Was an amazing relationship apart from the times I would put my foot in it, and we'd have an argument (and this is excluding any arguments which I think would be classed as normal every-days). About two weeks ago, we had a fairly normal argument, and she stated she wanted to end it. After I convinced her to go on a break with me, she called me up last friday to tell me she loved me, missed me, and wanted to be with me more than anything. Come monday morning, I find an email of all things, telling me that she can't call me to break it off because she knows we'll end up back together, and that it'll be the last time we talk. I know for a fact she doesn't have a new fancy-man, or anything anywhere near it, so I'm completely dumb-founded. I've left her alone for almost a week, sent her a couple of texts on saturday just apologising and stating what I had done to begin going through the stages of breaking my nasty habits of occasionally getting overly needy and overreacting to things. I've heard no reply from her so far, and it's only been a week into the break up. I quite honestly have no idea what to do, or where I stand. I honestly think our relationship was amazing, and she did too, but this turn seems rather abrupt. I don't want to lose the best lover of my life (as I was hers, as she admitted all too many times), and I certainly don't want to lose the best friend I've ever had. I want to give her space, but at the same time, I don't want her to get too distant (even though she hasn't replied to any forms or attempts at communication, and due to travelling restrictions, it's not easy for me to go see her). Any (sound) advice?
Maxivo Actus Reus.	Posted - 2009.05.17 22:00:00 - [2] I feel for you mate. I started dating a girl i had known since nursery school, we were together for 2 years. She abruptly ended it for no good reason that I can still figure out. Ive not heard from my "best friend" for 9 months now. Last thing I heard from her was (we have to end it). Infact thinking about it now is getting me all god damn confused again :(. I hope things work out for you. ______________ Actus Reus. recruitment thread.
asertargb	Posted - 2009.05.17 22:02:00 - [3] Edited by: asertargb on 17/05/2009 22:04:46 Thanks. I'm still not sure as what to do. Whether to bombard her with texts (which I'm sure would show her I haven't changed, but at the same time, won't let her forget me for a second, but also might annoy the ** out of her), or whether to give her space (might show that I'm changing, but makes it easier for her to move on and forget me). I'm really annoyed and confused because it was only a month ago she came to spend a week with me . Most upsetting of all of this is that I've had a string of bad relationships (read:all of them), and she was there every single time one of them went **-up. And now this one has, I don't have that person there (which is quite confusing for some reason). I cannot understand why she has done this. Even if I had acted worse than I imagined, I've never cheated on her or lied to her face about something so bad/disgusting that she would want to hate me for the rest of her life... These are things everyday people work on, and I gave her space and time for myself to work on them (its not everyday someone offers to change themselves for another person, is it?). I guess I'm just looking for any hope, and advice on how to get her back.
BlackDragonShadow Caldari	Posted - 2009.05.17 22:10:00 - [4] Originally by: asertargb Edited by: asertargb on 17/05/2009 21:55:50 I'd been together with a very, very close friend, who I had known for 4 years, for about a year. Was an amazing relationship apart from the times I would put my foot in it, and we'd have an argument (and this is excluding any arguments which I think would be classed as normal every-days). About two weeks ago, we had a fairly normal argument, and she stated she wanted to end it. After I convinced her to go on a break with me, she called me up last friday to tell me she loved me, missed me, and wanted to be with me more than anything. Come monday morning, I find an email of all things, telling me that she can't call me to break it off because she knows we'll end up back together, and that it'll be the last time we talk. I know for a fact she doesn't have a new fancy-man, or anything anywhere near it, so I'm completely dumb-founded. I've left her alone for almost a week, sent her a couple of texts on saturday just apologising and stating what I had done to begin going through the stages of breaking my nasty habits of occasionally getting overly needy and overreacting to things. I've heard no reply from her so far, and it's only been a week into the break up. I quite honestly have no idea what to do, or where I stand. I honestly think our relationship was amazing, and she did too, but this turn seems rather abrupt. I don't want to lose the best lover of my life (as I was hers, as she admitted all too many times), and I certainly don't want to lose the best friend I've ever had. I want to give her space, but at the same time, I don't want her to get too distant (even though she hasn't replied to any forms or attempts at communication, and due to travelling restrictions, it's not easy for me to go see her). Any (sound) advice? GUH. Dating friends I find has never worked for me. To much history. Go watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall? I don't know man in a situation like this I'd say just drop it and let it go but being that she was your friend for 4 years first I'd say try to see what she thinks and why she wants to break it off with you. This sig was awesome but needs more EvE related content. - Mitnal Fine. EVE Online
Wendat Huron Stellar Solutions	Posted - 2009.05.17 22:18:00 - [5] I'll pull one out of the ass here. Being friends first she feels uncomfortable asking you to treat her like a **** in bed and just can't get no satisfaction? Delenda est achura.
Intense Thinker Minmatar	Posted - 2009.05.17 22:20:00 - [6] Seems I should only date my friends because every time I get involved with a new person they turn out to be nuts. Pomp FTW!!!
asertargb	Posted - 2009.05.17 22:43:00 - [7] Edited by: asertargb on 17/05/2009 22:42:55 Originally by: Wendat Huron I'll pull one out of the ass here. Being friends first she feels uncomfortable asking you to treat her like a **** in bed and just can't get no satisfaction? Pleasantly for me, I was her best lay. Another annoying and saddening fact about our break-up :/. Any serious advice on how to salvage this?
zibelthurdos Concrete Developments LOADED CONCRETE	Posted - 2009.05.17 23:20:00 - [8] start sending her dead things in the mail, women love that. ----------------------------------------------- Don't think of it as dying, Think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush
Wendat Huron Stellar Solutions	Posted - 2009.05.17 23:37:00 - [9] Originally by: asertargb Edited by: asertargb on 17/05/2009 22:42:55 Originally by: Wendat Huron I'll pull one out of the ass here. Being friends first she feels uncomfortable asking you to treat her like a **** in bed and just can't get no satisfaction? Pleasantly for me, I was her best lay. Another annoying and saddening fact about our break-up :/. Any serious advice on how to salvage this? In all seriousness a woman who is your friend can toss you that without it being true and it may not even be about the physical stuff but just your personality, being too safe and lacking of the thrill she may be seeking. Grass always being greener... Delenda est achura.
Cpt Placeholder	Posted - 2009.05.18 00:24:00 - [10] Originally by: Wendat Huron In all seriousness a woman who is your friend can toss you that without it being true and it may not even be about the physical stuff but just your personality, being too safe and lacking of the thrill she may be seeking. Grass always being greener... This But if you were actually good, you're probably too needy for her. Since you probably already spammed her too much, just keep quiet and wait, or better look for someone equally needy. Changing yourself for someone else is an absurd idea.

Intense Thinker Minmatar	Posted - 2009.05.18 00:26:00 - [11] Originally by: Cpt Placeholder But if you were actually good, you're probably too needy for her. Since you probably already spammed her too much, just keep quiet and wait, or better look for someone equally needy. Changing yourself for someone else is an absurd idea. uh uh uh uh, if someone refuses to change him/herself at all the relationship is doomed to fail from the start Pomp FTW!!!
Cpt Placeholder	Posted - 2009.05.18 00:58:00 - [12] Originally by: Intense Thinker uh uh uh uh, if someone refuses to change him/herself at all the relationship is doomed to fail from the start Not if you think intense enough, changing yourself is not to be interpreted as changing trivialities. Changing yourself implies forced change. If you're a needy person then you will most likely not be happy ignoring your neediness to fit the image of someone likable for your partner.
Mr Reeth	Posted - 2009.05.18 01:08:00 - [13] Ways to get over a breakup: -Go to a *** bar and get faced. -Beat up someone weaker than you. -Post any sex tapes you may have of her on the internet. -Take anything that belongs to her, put it in a sack and beat her dad with it. -Key "*" in giant letters on her car. - her mom in the **er.
Tyllie Sebiestor tribe	Posted - 2009.05.18 01:34:00 - [14] Originally by: Mr Reeth Ways to get over a breakup: -Go to a the closest bar and get schittyfaced. And repeat to yourself umpteen hundred times "** that !!!" "!!!" -Beat up someone. Anyone will suffice. Just be sneaky and quick on the attack. And don't stop hitting the er until he's snoring or praying to GOD. -Post any sex tapes you may have of her on the internet. Or sell them. -Take anything that belongs to her, put it in a sack and make a flaming pinata out of it. -Key "*" in giant letters on her car. I suggest spray paint. Try doing it on the building she works in in first, but the car is good too. - her mom sister , aunt, grandma, cousin, and even her dad if you can in the **er.
Grez Minmatar Core Contingency	Posted - 2009.05.18 05:35:00 - [15] Edited by: Grez on 18/05/2009 05:36:11 Originally by: Cpt Placeholder Originally by: Wendat Huron In all seriousness a woman who is your friend can toss you that without it being true and it may not even be about the physical stuff but just your personality, being too safe and lacking of the thrill she may be seeking. Grass always being greener... This But if you were actually good, you're probably too needy for her. Since you probably already spammed her too much, just keep quiet and wait, or better look for someone equally needy. Changing yourself for someone else is an absurd idea. It was probably the needy thing tbh. Going through a similar experience myself (dangerously similar (DAVE?!)), nothing but some luck will get you through. --- Grez: I shot the sheriff Kalazar: But I could not lock the Deputy BECAUSE OF FALCON
MotherMoon Huang Yinglong	Posted - 2009.05.18 06:25:00 - [16] Edited by: MotherMoon on 18/05/2009 06:27:54 Originally by: Intense Thinker Originally by: Cpt Placeholder But if you were actually good, you're probably too needy for her. Since you probably already spammed her too much, just keep quiet and wait, or better look for someone equally needy. Changing yourself for someone else is an absurd idea. uh uh uh uh, if someone refuses to change him/herself at all the relationship is doomed to fail from the start oh god, relationships that go around the whole "you chould change yourself" are ruined from day one. For instance, my friend wore Victorian clothes, is jewish. 3 months into a relationship she throws away all of her favoritw clothes because he thinks it makes her imature and his family doesn't like the way she dresses. That mov3es on to you can't be jewish, change for me. which goes to, where were you last night? why weren't you home? I need to always know were you are. I'm sorry but why you would date someone for what you want them to be, and not for who they are? I mean it's wierd, some things are more like self important, everything you do to change, should be to better your self, not to become like that perso wants you too be, hmmm, maybe I'm over reacting (scratch that, I am over reacting :P) but yeah, you should be less needy, but not for her sake, for your own. If she says things like "I can't handle it when you act this way, that's different than, "were married now, why are you playing your gutair? you have to grow up now, were married" true story.
Noodly Appendage Minmatar Pator Tech School	Posted - 2009.05.18 09:14:00 - [17] :( Reality appears to have a strong liberal bias.
asertargb	Posted - 2009.05.18 09:31:00 - [18] The thing with me being needy - I indeed wanted to change not just for her, but for myself, because I was tired of us getting into arguments because of it, I had started to do some things to remedy this neediness, and then she stuck the boot out the door, which sucks. I'll make this obvious now - I wasn't going to change who I am. I'm a very romantic person, and I liked spending time with her (that got a bit carried away at times), I would never have changed this. I think if a relationship is to work, the other person has to be willing to change parts of themselves for the other person, as long as they're not hugely personality describing traits (like the way they talk, walk, look (to a degree) etc). Things like stopping biting your nails, smoking, overreacting, neediness, I think, are things almost everyone would be happy to change to some degree. Anyway, it's now been a week since the break-up, and no word from her. I've been told this is the time period where I'm supposed to let my hope dwindle away :/.
Zenkai Gallente PROGENITOR CORPORATION Intrepid Crossing	Posted - 2009.05.18 10:00:00 - [19] Originally by: asertargb Edited by: asertargb on 17/05/2009 22:42:55 Originally by: Wendat Huron I'll pull one out of the ass here. Being friends first she feels uncomfortable asking you to treat her like a **** in bed and just can't get no satisfaction? Pleasantly for me, She said I was her best lay. Another annoying and saddening fact about our break-up :/. Any serious advice on how to salvage this? Fixed. Women lie and do it far better then us. My girl swares up and down that I am the first man to give her an orgasm which, though making me feel like King Kong, I know is for my feelings sake.
asertargb	Posted - 2009.05.18 10:05:00 - [20] Originally by: Zenkai Originally by: asertargb Edited by: asertargb on 17/05/2009 22:42:55 Originally by: Wendat Huron I'll pull one out of the ass here. Being friends first she feels uncomfortable asking you to treat her like a **** in bed and just can't get no satisfaction? Pleasantly for me, She said I was her best lay. Another annoying and saddening fact about our break-up :/. Any serious advice on how to salvage this? Fixed. Women lie and do it far better then us. My girl swares up and down that I am the first man to give her an orgasm which, though making me feel like King Kong, I know is for my feelings sake. I know it's deadly true. I know two of her ex's, and although it was an awkward conversation, they both told me to go 'heavy' on the lube - something of which I definitely didn't have a problem with. Later in our relationship she told me she had issues getting into it with her past lovers, and that because of it, it was never as good. Now that I've got that out of the way, AGAIN, back to the issue at hand, and not to whether I'm good in bed or not (because honestly, this is not what I want to be drudging back to the fore-front of my memory).

Ranik Sandaris Caldari The Centurions Eternus Imperium Alliance	Posted - 2009.05.18 10:08:00 - [21] All women are inherantly *****es. No matter how nice they are usually, tis allways in there somwhere. My advice. Go out, get drunk and get laid. Maybe inbetween this have a fight with somone/thing to blow of some steam. Zoom Zoom
Doctor Penguin Amarr	Posted - 2009.05.18 11:22:00 - [22] Edited by: Doctor Penguin on 18/05/2009 11:22:11 Argh, sex talk. Get a room you people! ________________________________________________ http://eve.drome.nl/CaodCleaner/ Help make CAOD readable.
Mercurye Gallente	Posted - 2009.05.18 11:29:00 - [23] She probably knows you are gay but doesnt want to confront you with it (Semi serious reply ^^) --~--~--~--~ ~NOTE: Freak~
Giannamichaels	Posted - 2009.05.18 16:43:00 - [24] Sorry but there probably is another guy, this should certainly be considered because usually a woman/girl needs a man there at all times, they are always deviously on the lookout for a better guy. She said you were her best lover i think they all tell us this even if its not true, i mean would you like hearing that you werent as good as steve from last year etc. Delete her number and get rid of all the reminders of her, time heals move on, be with your friends to take your mind off it!
Elora Danzik Caldari Idiots In Spaceships Psychotic Tendencies.	Posted - 2009.05.18 17:45:00 - [25] Been there done that got the mental scars to prove it. The reality is she decided to end it for whatever reason. There are too many possibilities. Call her. Ask how she is doing? then ask her to spell it out in plain english(figuritively speaking) what went wrong. Sound like as the Bush song says the little things killed. Those 'everyday' fights might be what did it. If what you talk about can be resolved, then work on it. Sounds like it probably can't. If that is the case, wait a couple of months, week, whatever you feel comfortable with and contact her again just to see how she is doing. And let that be the only reason you called. From what you have said, it sounds like the romantic relationship isn't salvagable. I base this on her email breakup, which tends to indicate she wants it to happen but doesn't have the guts to do it in person. However, there is no reason for the friendship to end. I am still friends with two differnt women and my wife knows it. One of which was a spactaularly horrific breakup. Truns out after that breakup, I was a friend she could talk to about anything. Be a friend. And you can keep that part of it.
Doctor Penguin Amarr	Posted - 2009.05.18 17:49:00 - [26] And you can go to movies without making all the other people in the cinema retch!! (I'll just take my hat and go...) ________________________________________________ http://eve.drome.nl/CaodCleaner/ Help make CAOD readable.
Kharass Al'Quam Minmatar Union Enterprises	Posted - 2009.05.18 17:55:00 - [27] Honestly bro this is not good advice but advice non the least. Go on a good 2-3 week bender with loads of drinking and other stuff(the more you get your hands on the better). Sleep with as many lose dressed girls you find. Go emo on one of thouse good benders. Wake up in a field or a unknown bed at least once each week on the bender. Will all this make you feel better? Hell no. But your score board after the bender will make you feel better in a couple of months. So embrace the emoness and do daft things. God is my Co-pilot
Cherybol Caldari Es and Whizz Hedonistic Imperative	Posted - 2009.05.19 05:31:00 - [28] Originally by: Kharass Al'Quam Honestly bro this is not good advice but advice non the least. Go on a good 2-3 week bender with loads of drinking and other stuff(the more you get your hands on the better). Sleep with as many lose dressed girls you find. Go emo on one of thouse good benders. Wake up in a field or a unknown bed at least once each week on the bender. Will all this make you feel better? Hell no. But your score board after the bender will make you feel better in a couple of months. So embrace the emoness and do daft things. I can relate to this and say it sometimes works. Its a mix of "I can't believe a police officer gave me a case of beer last night. Awesome." and "I can't believe I'm waking up wrapped up in a floor rug. What am I doing with my life." Though I must add, absolutely no fapping at all. NONE. It keeps you more focused, avoids 'those' feelings, and gives you incentive to primal style hunt a girl down, haul her off to your place, and land that Boeing 747 in your bed despite experiencing turbulence on the flight.
Preda Ellalle	Posted - 2009.05.19 05:48:00 - [29] I'm gonna do this quick. Kinda like ripping off a band-aid. She's over you. Deal with it. Move on and find another person. She, whoever she is, is not worth your time in that dept. Friends still and whatever afterwards...well that's up to you and your collective levels of emotional maturity. If you think there's something else left there, then you're a fool. And a blind/deaf one too. Now stop whining on the internet, there are waAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaay too many whiners here already. It's not so bad. You could have cancer.


Pages: [1] :: one page
First page \| Previous page \| Next page \| Last page

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
EVE Online, the EVE logo, EVE and all associated logos and designs are the intellectual property of CCP hf. All artwork, screenshots, characters, vehicles, storylines, world facts or other recognizable features of the intellectual property relating to these trademarks are likewise the intellectual property of CCP hf. EVE Online and the EVE logo are the registered trademarks of CCP hf. All rights are reserved worldwide. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. CCP hf. has granted permission to EVE-Search.com to use EVE Online and all associated logos and designs for promotional and information purposes on its website but does not endorse, and is not in any way affiliated with, EVE-Search.com. CCP is in no way responsible for the content on or functioning of this website, nor can it be liable for any damage arising from the use of this website.