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Lexa Hellfury
The Vainglorious
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Posted - 2009.06.26 10:23:00 -
[1]
Well hello there my good C&P com padres. It's been a while since I've made a serious thread, so forgive me if I come off as a bit rusty.
This story really begins about a month ago, and the beginning isn't really mine to tell, but **** it I'm telling it anyways. The Great Entrepreneur and Honourable Tradesperson Dian'h Might was going about his business in Amarr when he was convoed by a person interested in buying a particular product. For a lack of a better name we shall call this person "BuysAllHisIsk". Now, BuysAllHisIsk was looking to purchase a Stabber Fleet Issue, of which The Noble Dian'h Might happened to have one in stock. Being the Generous Gentleman he is, Dian'h offered the Fleet Stabber for the ludicrously low price of 50m Isk. BuysAllHisIsk quickly snapped up this offer and a Trade was made.
Before too long BuysAllHisIsk was through around ridiculous accusations of the Stabber Fleet Issue being merely a regular Stabber cleverly renamed to appear as a Fleet Issue. The Honourable Dian'h Might stood his ground, knowing he was right and not falling for this brazen bullying. BuysAllHisIsk quickly dispatched a series of threatening mails.
Originally by: The Honourable Dian'h Might
he said he was going to wardec me, I warned him not to, he decced anyway
Being a Great and Noble Trader of Excellent Reputation, Dian'h had many friends whom he could call on to assist him in his Struggle. He contacted his Good Friend and Great Warrior of Magnificent Personal Glory, Lexa Hellfury (The Best Hellfury). Being an Enemy of The Empire, Lexa Hellfury was unable to assist in this endeavor herself, but sub-contracted it to one of her minions (read: alt), Rock urSocksoff (The Best urSocksoff). Being newly minted by the Republic Military School (School with a "ch"), Rock urSocksoff lack skillpoints, including some basic fundamentals, but was eager to prove his worth. Within a week of the start of The War for Great Justice, Rock urSocksoff had destroyed 7 ships, mostly frigates and cruisers, his primary objective as yet unachieved: The destruction and humiliation of BuysAllHisIsk. His opportunity came on the 7th day of the War.
Rock urSocksoff awoke from a great slumber (I was playing on my main) to notice BuysAllHisIsk not only online, but in the same system as him! This was his chance! To dominate and humiliate very person who caused these Great Injustices to Dian'h Might! Rock made like Garmon and quickly undocked his Rupture class cruiser to find BuysAllHisIsk already waiting outside in his Harbinger battlecruiser. Np, np, I'm The Best, I can handle this. It became very readily apparent, however, that Rock was The Best urSocksoff, not The Best Hellfury. Shoulda spent more time reading about how to shoot a gun, and less time reading about Learning and Engineering and Electronics, ****er! Fortunately for our Hero, BuysAllHisIsk had not yet got to the chapter about How To Shot Web and was able to make due haste out of disruptor range for a Strategic Withdrawal.
Not phased, though with slightly wounded pride, Rock decided he needed an approach beyond "Orbit and shoot Autocannons". He quickly contacted his friends to see about getting some assistance. Through his many contacts, Rock was able to get assistance in the form of a Guardian class cruiser (I forget your name, but thanks random TRAPS guy o7). Luring BuysAllHisIsk to an asteroid belt, Rock was able to achieve tackle, and from there it was just a matter of time. Harbinger Down. Primary objective complete, but Rock was still not satisfied.
Originally by: RedSplat
The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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Lexa Hellfury
The Vainglorious
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Posted - 2009.06.26 10:23:00 -
[2]
In this time BuysAllHisIsk has send a series of threatening mails to our main protagonist, Dian'h Might.
Originally by: BuysAllHisIsk
2009.06.24 05:31
THAT IS IT!!!!! IM FED UP WHERE R U WEAKLINGS CPMME ON JUST U AND ME FIGHT LET C HOW STRONG U REALY R! COME ON FIGHT ME COWARD!
Originally by: BuysAllHisIsk
2009.06.20 17:17
im bord cos when im on there is nothing to kill so stop war i was only in it for the killing but there is not killing going on so theree u have it.
The War continued for another 2 weeks, but Rock was in deep hibernation once again (Amamake was p. busy). He awoke one day to find that BuysAllHisIsk had left his corporation to form one of his own.
Originally by: Corp Description
A Under Constrution corp looking for members and Commanders we mine and kill NPC's.
Heh, back to simpler things since killing 3m SP alts is a pretty challenging task heh~
Then came earlier today, whilst Lexa was solo roaming lowsec (and dying pretty horribly), Duty Called. BuysAllHisIsk had been spotted mission running with a couple of his new corpmates, in an Abaddon. Since the internal politics had not yet completed, neither Dian'h nor Rock were able to openly shoot BuysAllHisIsk, so they had to rely or Trickery (being so Honourable, Dian'h doesn't normally do trickery, but he is a quick study). Rock lunged headfirst into BuysAllHisIsk's mission and proceed to steal his phatl00tz! Lvl 3 mission loot is so valuable that BuysAllHisIsk simply could not stand by and allow this! (He's not very bright if you haven't caught on by now)
Rock approached the 3 mission running vessels (Punisher, Coercer, and Abaddon) and locked them in order to try and provoke a fight. Upon locking the vessels he saw a shocking sight! BuysAllHisIsk's Abaddon was in half armor in a lvl 3 mission! This was even more shocking than the Cruise Missiles it was spewing! While inept beyond description, evidently the space between BuysAllHisIsk's ears was not a complete write-off as they proceeded to finish off the NPCs before engaging Rock. The Punisher and Coercer were quickly dispatched and Rock went to work on the Abaddon. He knew he was in for a tough go of it if the Harbinger from a few weeks ago had been any indication. There would be a multitude of Capacitor modules to go with a Dual LAR tank. Rock urSocksoff hates being right about such things 
Unable to break the tank of the Abaddon with any ammo type, and with Rock being Remote Repaired by his Good Chums and Chill Brosefs of Pure Awesomeness, Orion Trade Syndicate, it was a stalemate. It was time for some Outside-The-Box-Thinking. BuysAllHisIsk, in his Infinite Wisdom, felt that this was an appropriate time to send taunting mails
Originally by: BuysAllHisIsk
2009.06.26 06:25
u carnt kill me :)
Such things are, of course, intolerable, and with Internal Politics out of the way...
Quote:
2009.06.26 06:26
Incura has declared war on Empire Of the Dead.Within 24 hours fighting can legally occur between those involved.
Quote:
2009.06.26 06:27
Orion Trade Syndicate has declared war on Empire Of the Dead.Within 24 hours fighting can legally occur between those involved.
Meanwhile, in fleet chat, we have freed ourselve of the shackles of "The Box".
Originally by: Fleet Chat
Scout Trelan > we need an orca so u can do a mid flight refit to 2 neuts =p lolol
Rock urSocksoff > yeah
Rock urSocksoff > i was thinking the exact same thing
Rock urSocksoff > and more than 1 gyro
We have a winner! It just so happened that we had a brosef with an Orca only 3 jumps away! Success! By now the battle as been raging (not really, more like my back and neck are raging) for 45 minutes. I told you to read up on gunnery, ***got. BuysAllHisIsk is getting desperate.
Quote:
BuyAllHisIsk > Rock urSocksoff?
BuyAllHisIsk > can u stop cos i gotta go work
I try unsuccessfully to ransom him, which I intended to dishonour. The cool thing about your own corp is you play by your own rules heh.
Originally by: RedSplat
The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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Lexa Hellfury
The Vainglorious
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Posted - 2009.06.26 10:24:00 -
[3]
The Orca arrives on the scene. BuysAllHisIsk finds this absolutely delightful.
Quote:
BuysAllHisIsk > WTF?
BuysAllHisIsk > an orca
BuysAllHisIsk > LOLOLOLOL
Rock urSocksoff > you got fired yet m8?
BuysAllHisIsk > nopw
After a quick minute, Our Hero is refit with 4 GyroStabilizers and 2 Neutralizers instead of 1. He opens fire once again.
Quote:
Rock urSocksoff > 07:15:33 Notify Croowdrio has initiated self-destruct of their Abaddon, it will explode in 120 seconds.
Rock urSocksoff > prolly shoulda thought of that like, an hour ago
Rock urSocksoff > at least now you can go to work.
He didn't last 120 seconds. Abaddon down. Unfortunately there was no crying in local afterwards, I think he actually did have to go to work heh. I think I can say with confidence that my mission has been a great success and that the 2m isk which The Most Excellent Dian'h Might hired me for has been well spent. The great part is I have at least another 2 weeks to go, provided he doesn't biomass 
For those of you who took the time to read this, I thank you and hope you enjoyed it.
Originally by: RedSplat
The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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Jovoich
Kleinrock Heavy Industries
The Kadeshi
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Posted - 2009.06.26 10:37:00 -
[4]
Nice read, well done.
I call 'Bull****' CCP. Isn't it great that the alchemy process was introduced & can 'take up the slack?' |
Karentaki
Gallente
Oberon Incorporated
Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2009.06.26 10:40:00 -
[5]
Best C&P thread in a while.
Seriously, I love the cunning tactics with the orca.
Quote:
EVE is like a sandbox with landmines. Deal with it.
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CDLoon
Minmatar
Red Sky Morning
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Posted - 2009.06.26 11:23:00 -
[6]
Nice work - and great external boxing
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Kiera Temman
Amarr
Uba Corps Enterprises
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Posted - 2009.06.26 11:26:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Lexa Hellfury
Lana Torrin - Smack Talking Stabbed Rifter pilot. Eye Candy.
the secret of eve success...
grats on an epic greif.
Inspirational stuff.
-KT
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El'Tar
Caldari
Genos Occidere
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Posted - 2009.06.26 11:50:00 -
[8]
I actually read all of that
And no regrets, I enjoyed it 
________________________________________________
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Grez
Neo Spartans
Laconian Syndicate
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Posted - 2009.06.26 12:26:00 -
[9]
I almost came. |
Dannerkongen
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Posted - 2009.06.26 12:34:00 -
[10]
ha! :) very good stuff lex |
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Muad' Dib
Gallente
Beyond Divinity Inc
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Posted - 2009.06.26 12:37:00 -
[11]
Good read. :) |
Recon Three
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Posted - 2009.06.26 12:43:00 -
[12]
I read every word of that and I don't regret it.
This can't be C&P. |
Lady Spank
Amarr
Sekret Kool Klubb
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Posted - 2009.06.26 12:51:00 -
[13]
%100
CRAZY
Fabulous write up ^ _^
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War Kitten
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Posted - 2009.06.26 13:17:00 -
[14]
Very nice, good read!
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FU22
Pigs In Space United Proletariat
Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2009.06.26 14:00:00 -
[15]
hehe nice  |
Mischa Jackson
x13
KrautbreaK
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Posted - 2009.06.26 14:08:00 -
[16]
lulz |
Lana Hellfury
Minmatar
Minmatar Republic Military Skool
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Posted - 2009.06.26 14:09:00 -
[17]
yay! i got some credit for smack talking! I was trying to get one of them concorded as well but none of them had lockback on. |
Misanth
Reaper Industries
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Posted - 2009.06.26 15:04:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Grez
I almost came.
I took it one step further. 
-
I'd tell you why but then I'll have to kill you. And to kill you I'd have to log in. And to log in I'd have to stop browsing these forums. Both you and me knows that'll never happen. |
ARALIEUS
Amarr
Traumark Logistics
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Posted - 2009.06.26 15:39:00 -
[19]
Good read Lexa! The best Hellfury! |
Sans Honore
Gallente
Wirfadam Productions LTD
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Posted - 2009.06.26 15:50:00 -
[20]
Easily the best pirate story in a while. Co-workers had to come in and see WTF as up. |
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Varesk
Tropical Killer Bananas
Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2009.06.26 15:58:00 -
[21]
Great story.
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LisaLove
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Posted - 2009.06.26 16:18:00 -
[22]
so you killed the harby with help from a nuet logistics?, generally a nice read (i made it too the end), but no "golf clap" for use of a nuet logistic on the first kill |
Joe Starbreaker
The Fighting Republicans
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Posted - 2009.06.26 16:27:00 -
[23]
So how did you keep the Abaddon tackled when Rock docked with the Orca? Or do I not understand how the Orca works? |
InquisitorCzevak
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Posted - 2009.06.26 16:36:00 -
[24]
Orca = refit in space much like a pos. I've never tried to refit mid firefight though. Does it work while agressed or did he have to de-agress?
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Mynxee
Minmatar
Hellcats
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Posted - 2009.06.26 16:58:00 -
[25]
Awesomeness...read every word, read the smack twice cuz it was worth it! |
RedSplat
Heretic Army
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Posted - 2009.06.26 17:11:00 -
[26]
You ARE the best Hellfury |
inyreye
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Posted - 2009.06.26 17:11:00 -
[27]
Great story about killing people in high sec while getting repped by neutral alts. |
4THELULZ
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Posted - 2009.06.26 19:51:00 -
[28]
Great read, Orca was a great idea O_o
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Insa Rexion
Minmatar
Ray of Matar Assembly
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Posted - 2009.06.26 20:06:00 -
[29]
Gotta admit I am a bit flumoxed how you kept him pointed while re-fitting. Of course i have never seen the inside of an Orca so can you explain....do your modules keep working while you swap other ones out ?
Either I have just been very cleverly trolled or that is one of the coolest things I've heard since being in Eve
Whatever, fun read....good work
well mannered a**h*** |
Lexa Hellfury
The Vainglorious
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Posted - 2009.06.26 21:58:00 -
[30]
Orca = Refit in space, midflight, you don't actually "dock" with it. For all of you poo pooing over neutral logistics, you're absolutely right. I should have wtfsolopwned a Harbinger pilot who is older than my main using a Rupture pilot who has 90k in gunnery. Shame on me.
Originally by: RedSplat
The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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