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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Weaselior
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
3373
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:01:00 -
[1] - Quote
Greetings friends!
I'm here to tell you about an exciting new phase of the behavior correction program Goonswarm is sponsoring for the benefit of the EVE Community.
We've all grown to loathe the highsec miner - entitled, bleating that he deserves to mine in perfect safety in highsec. Demanding that highsec be made safe, that his hulk be buffed, and anyone who would be so unthinking and savage must be banned from the game. Hulkageddon V was a resounding sucess: cutting highsec mining in half and butchering over one trillion isk worth of ships. Hulkageddon: Infinity has continued this work, tearing those miners who had merely hid in a station for a month before bringing out their completely untanked hulk they wanted to afk in to shreads and causing nearly another trillion isk worth of destruction. This has been a fantastic educational program for the EVE community, and with your help we can make it even better.
Now, as you may have heard, our joint efforts against miners has caused a number of these pigeons of eve to flock to covetors. They reason that, because a covetor contains no technetium, that they will be safe from harm and able to once again mine in the absolute safety they crave. That people ganking them are the small-minded isk per hour cretins they surround themselves with. Secure in the knowledge that it would not be profitable to scourge them, they have taken to mining untanked, unaligned, afk: the very definition of the entitled human bot we have all grown to loathe.
We know that's not the case, and that's why we're proud to announce Hulkageddon Infinity: Jr. League. For every 10 mining barges - covetors, retrievers, and procurers - you gank, you will be reimbursed 25 million isk - more than enough to fit the 10 t1 fit destroyers needed. Now, of course, we'll continue paying you for the exhumers you gank: we would hate to slacken the pace of the exhumer slaughter. But if you find a field of covetors all busily botting away, there's no longer any need to leave them alone while you hunt down an exhumer to kill! Due to their weaker tank, they can be killed with a pure t1 destroyer - no need to fit t2, allowing you to continue your ganking indefinitely on the mining barge bounty. In fact, some mining barges are so lightly tanked that if you're willing to make the sacrifice and go -10, you can pod them with the very same destroyer that killed their ship and bask in the +5s and +5% mining implants they had plugged in. Many of these people believe that people cannot actually be podded in empire: the stern thrashing given by destroying their alpha clone may even prevent them from such activity in the future as they lose skillpoints.
We hope that by extending this behavior correction program to mining barges as well, we will finally reach those poor deluded souls that can be saved from venturing down the path of mining and to dissuade young impressionable eve players from making this terrible choice to begin with. With your help, and your vicious flogging of miners, we can make EVE a better place, where nobody mines peacefully, unaware of the world.
Payouts will be handled in the same way as regular Hulkageddon Infinity bounties: we are upgrading our software as we speak and the Jr. League bounties will begin immediately. |
corestwo
Goonfleet Investment Banking
379
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:02:00 -
[2] - Quote
For all you tl;dr nerds: We're paying bounties for T1 mining barges, 25m per ten kills. |
Mira Lynne
State War Academy Caldari State
52
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:03:00 -
[3] - Quote
Edit: Damn! Support the Return of Realistic Module Icons! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=114818&find=unread |
Kijo Rikki
Killboard Padding Services
93
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:04:00 -
[4] - Quote
You're paying 15mil more per 10? Time to gank my alt repeatedly. |
Powers Sa
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
217
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:04:00 -
[5] - Quote
corestwo wrote:For all you tl;dr nerds: We're paying bounties for T1 mining barges, 25m per ten kills. Let the canbaiting begin. |
Arrgthepirate
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
0
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:05:00 -
[6] - Quote
Holy **** |
Cerebral Wolf
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
0
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:05:00 -
[7] - Quote
You sir are amazing. |
Thor Kerrigan
Guardians of Asceticism
88
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:05:00 -
[8] - Quote
Excellent news! |
Haquer
Vorkuta Inc Goonswarm Federation
12
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:06:00 -
[9] - Quote
Yesssssssssssss |
Vincent Athen
Merch Industrial Goonswarm Federation
1
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:06:00 -
[10] - Quote
The absence of tech 1 mining barges was a glaring omission in the original Hulkageddon bounty system. I'm very glad it's been corrected, so that we may better support the EVE community. |
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Abdiel Kavash
Paladin Order Fidelas Constans
589
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:07:00 -
[11] - Quote
This will end well. |
Pyramid Scheme
Royal Amarr Institute Amarr Empire
3
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:09:00 -
[12] - Quote
i can see the tears already
EDIT:
Forum tears |
AFK Hauler
State War Academy
424
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:10:00 -
[13] - Quote
I saw this coming a mile away...
Cannot say this will end well. |
Shepard Wong Ogeko
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
40
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:10:00 -
[14] - Quote
Abdiel Kavash wrote:This will end well.
No, the "infinity" part means it will never end. |
Dabigredboat
Merch Industrial Goonswarm Federation
29
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:12:00 -
[15] - Quote
Didn't want that market anyways. ^_^ |
Krios Ahzek
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
898
|
Posted - 2012.06.14 03:15:00 -
[16] - Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIGHCoVzqtk
-áThough All Men Do Despise Us |
Miss Yanumano
Science and Trade Institute Caldari State
33
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:15:00 -
[17] - Quote
Excellent! No miner should be free from the fear of an injection of Sodium Pen-- Void S, or even Cyani-- Republic Fleet EMP S! |
Macky Alcaz
Thunderwaffe Goonswarm Federation
5
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:15:00 -
[18] - Quote
I just wanked and I don't think I have blown such a big load since i lost my virginity.
damn this thread is winsauce.
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Gossamer DT
Wildly Inappropriate Goonswarm Federation
80
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:16:00 -
[19] - Quote
it allways amazes me how many nuet alts this kind of post brings to the forum :) who is your main, and what does he do? |
Morganta
Peripheral Madness The Midget Mafia
1432
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:18:00 -
[20] - Quote
Gossamer DT wrote:it allways amazes me how many goon alts this kind of post brings to the forum :)
ftfy
I'll leave you chaps to your like circle jerk
The American public's reaction to the change was poor and the new cola was a major marketing failure. The subsequent reintroduction of Coke's original formula, re-branded as "Coca-Cola Classic", resulted in a significant gain in sales, leading to speculation that the introduction of the New Coke formula was just a marketing ploy |
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corestwo
Goonfleet Investment Banking
383
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:19:00 -
[21] - Quote
Mira Lynne wrote:Edit: Damn! How are multiple Exhumer/Barge Kills Handled? Is it 10m/Exhumer and 2.5m/Barge untill you have 10 Kills and then the sum is paid out, or is it separate?
Excellent question! So as to preserve the sanity of our accounting department and allow them to continue to bring these services to the residents of New Eden, the bounty is counted separately for each class of ship. |
No More Heroes
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
616
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:19:00 -
[22] - Quote
I support behavioral correction. . |
Frederick Sanger
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
130
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:20:00 -
[23] - Quote
You're welcome for the player created content, New Eden. |
Richard Desturned
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
965
|
Posted - 2012.06.14 03:20:00 -
[24] - Quote
kill 10 exhumers, get 100m
kill 10 barges, get 25m
kill 6 exhumers and 4 barges, get nothing eh |
Mira Lynne
State War Academy Caldari State
53
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:21:00 -
[25] - Quote
I can see Goon Corp chat: >Guys, i just made a thread. Go spam it. >k >k >if you say so >k >ok >k >k >k >alright >k >ok >k >k >ok >k
Support the Return of Realistic Module Icons! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=114818&find=unread |
corestwo
Goonfleet Investment Banking
383
|
Posted - 2012.06.14 03:23:00 -
[26] - Quote
Mira Lynne wrote:I can see Goon Corp chat: >Guys, i just made a thread. Go spam it. >k >k >if you say so >k >ok >k >k >k >alright >k >ok >k >k >ok >k
Corp chat? Please, nothing so...plebeian.Try Jabber broadcasts. |
BiaXia
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
40
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:25:00 -
[27] - Quote
Mira Lynne wrote:I can see Goon Corp chat: >Guys, i just made a thread. Go spam it. >k >k >if you say so >k >ok >k >k >k >alright >k >ok >k >k >ok >k
Haha you think we use something primitive like corp chat
We communicate through mumble, using recordings of farts in different tones
It's truly a higher plane of communication
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Weaselior
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
3388
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Posted - 2012.06.14 03:25:00 -
[28] - Quote
Richard Desturned wrote:kill 10 exhumers, get 100m
kill 10 barges, get 25m
kill 6 exhumers and 4 barges, get nothing Yeah unfortunately it has to be this way so our reimbursers don't go insane. |
Krios Ahzek
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
898
|
Posted - 2012.06.14 03:27:00 -
[29] - Quote
Richard Desturned wrote:kill 10 exhumers, get 100m
kill 10 barges, get 25m
kill 6 exhumers and 4 barges, get nothing
The correct way to do it would be to kill everything
-áThough All Men Do Despise Us |
No More Heroes
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
616
|
Posted - 2012.06.14 03:29:00 -
[30] - Quote
It's like Little League in space!
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