Khadhir Hashul
Fweddit I Whip My Slaves Back and Forth
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Posted - 2012.07.26 11:05:00 -
[1] - Quote
A CEO and his dear friend, a PUBBIE looking for a ship, walk down a hangar.The CEO begins to sing.
CEO: Now, pubbie, my dear, I cannot express my delight! ItGÇÖs abundantly clear that somewhere GÇÿround here is a ship thatGÇÖll suit you just right!
PUBBIE: I canGÇÖt wait to get started, but first let me set a few rules ItGÇÖs of utmost importance the ship that I get is something that tanks best of them all!
CEO: Tanks best of them all? Got it. IGÇÖve got so many wonderful choices just wait you will see
PUBBIE: I need something real thick like a station to keep around me.
CEO: Sure! How GÇÿbout a Cheetah? TheyGÇÖre T2 Matari and thick as can be!
PUBBIE: T2 Matari? Have you even met me?
CEO: Pubbie, have faith! You see, I will bet you, somewhere GÇÿround hereGÇÖs a ship thatGÇÖll get you! CGÇÖmon, armourGÇÖs the limit!
PUBBIE: ArmourGÇÖs good. IGÇÖd like it to live.
CEO: Really? Because I think this widdle Slasher has your name written all over it. Oh, yes it does!
PUBBIE: Pass.
CEO: I have so many wonderful choices, just wait, you will see! There are Ospreys, Impels with massive appeal
PUBBIE: Ospreys and Impels do not fight.
CEO: Maybe not, but IGÇÖve seen this particular Impel tank seven ganks quite unhindered.
PUBBIE: ThatGÇÖs it, IGÇÖm outta here.
CEO: Wait! There must be a ship here that can fit the ticket! How GÇÿbout a Maller or a Caracal?
PUBBIE: Thicker! And bigger!
CEO: Thicker, bigger. Right! IGÇÖve got just the thing in my hold, newb, meet your fabulous new Rifter!
PUBBIE: ...itGÇÖs just a Rifter.
CEO: Not just any Rifter! A tanking Rifter!
PUBBIE: Yeah. So like I was saying. My good pal, this wonGÇÖt cut it I need my pod as safe as can be Something hitting, Something tanking, with thickness that defies everything!
CEO: IGÇÖm sensing you want a passive tanking fit.
PUBBIE: You think?
CEO: I have so many wonderful ships that sit and receive! like a sweet Brutix or a giant arty Harbinger!
PUBBIE: Better, but thicker!
CEO: I see! How GÇÿbout a Rokh, a Hype or an Onyx? There are so many wonderful choices the likes of that! There are Nighthawks and Vultures, theyGÇÖre both quite cultured! Or perhaps what you need is a fat and quite lumbering Bad.
PUBBIE: Now weGÇÖre talking. But instead of just one stand-out, now thereGÇÖs too many! So many choices and such riches aplenty.
The Hype might be awesome, but the Nighthawk IGÇÖm training to do you have something like a shield-tanking Bad?
CEO: No. IGÇÖve got a camo Dominix just dying to be used
PUBBIE: What to do, what to do? A prize! ThatGÇÖs it! ThereGÇÖs really just one way to find out which shipGÇÖs just the best! Hold a contest of shields, capacitor and hull thatGÇÖll put every tank to the test!
CEO: DonGÇÖt forget armour, that should be considered
PUBBIE: Then weGÇÖll know whatGÇÖs best in the hangar
CEO The one thatGÇÖs thick and strong,
PUBBIE: just like me CanGÇÖt settle for the rest GÇÿcause IGÇÖm the best
CEO: So a contest we will see
PUBBIE: WhatGÇÖs the number one, greatest, perfectest ship
CEO: in the world for me!
PUBBIE: May the games
CEO: begin
BOTH: And may the best tank win!
exeunt both |