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Merdaneth
Amarr Galactic Rangers Galactic-Rangers
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Posted - 2010.08.30 20:32:00 -
[1]
Wheat Fraction: Episode III This is a continuation of the Wheat Fraction and Wheat Fraction II tales.
It was a sunny day in late summer and Merdaneth enjoyed his stroll through the golden fields of waving corn. The fields were filled with farmers of Corn Impulse, all busy preparing for yet another bountiful harvest. Then he noticed an odd dark shape beneath a nearby bush. He wondered what is was. Perhaps a dog resting in the shade? He moved closer when suddenly a harsh hiss escaped from under the leaves.
"Shoo, go away you toothless old bastard! This bush is already taken!" A feminine voice spat from the shadows.
Merdaneth knelt gently and saw haggard woman in a worn camouflage suit and covered with dried blotches of chicken poo hiding under the leaves.
"Ms. Constantine, what a surprise. What are you doing here crawling on your belly through the muck?" Merdaneth inquired.
"I'm not crawling! I'm a guerilla fighter, a irregular partizan, a rifle in the hills, and ambusher in the bushes, I will strike when I can and fade from view when I cannot!" The prone figure wriggled as she tried to shout the words.
"Ms. Constantine, if you want to hide from the Corn Impulse farmers, I suggest you lower your voice, they might hear you like this." Merdaneth suggested while looking in the direction of fields.
"I'm a ghost hiding in the undergrowth, they will never get me! I will stay out of their reach, avoid their numbers and wait until one of their older women gets widowed and only then try to steal some chickens. A regressive irrelevant worm like yourself knows nothing of assymetric conflict." Jade looked up at him, eyes shining like daggers.
"But, is waiting until they die of old age not counterproductive to your goal of raiding their farms?" Merdaneth asked off-handedly.
"Of course not! The Corn Impulse farmers expect us to steal a lot of chickens, and when we don't they will get frustrated with how few chickens they are actually losing. It is really quite brilliant to see them denounce us as ineffective and powerless in their communal meetings and ignore us more and more. Our strategy is working excellently!" Jade retorted.
"So, you don't consider the fact that you hardly stole any chickens a failure?"
"Don't be foolish! We would never use a metric like the number of chickens stolen to determine if we are successful chicken thieves. We look to our friends instead. If our friends like us, then we are doing well in our operation." Jade said smugly.
"But ms. Constantine, isn't liking each other part of the definition of friends? At least, I don't recall ever having friends that didn't like me, do you? Trying to get your friends to like you seems a goal that you cannot fail to achieve." Merdaneth attempted.
"Exactly, now you realize how the dashing revolutionairy members of our Fraction cannot lose this battle! A brilliant concept you regressive farmers simply won't understand." Jade exclaimed proudly.
"Talking about regressive farmers, how is your domain in the pasturelands of Providence?" Merdaneth tried to change the subject, throroughly baffled by Jade's last response.
"The free pasturelands of Providence are doing better than ever! Our mighty barns and farmhouses stand tall, almost blotting out the sun, open to all farmers who want to use them." Jade intoned. ____
The Illusion of Freedom | The Truth about Slavery |
Merdaneth
Amarr Galactic Rangers Galactic-Rangers
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Posted - 2010.08.30 20:37:00 -
[2]
"So, are a lot of farmers using the land now?" Merdaneth quizzed, raising his eyebrows.
"How many times do I have to tell you? It is not our land! We do not own land, we merely pay the government for the ownership papers. Also, any metrics concerning usage of farm land is irrelevant. You cannot put a price tag on freedom." Jade said glibly.
"As I recall, you yourself used a farming activity index to judge the effectiveness of your Black Lustrum campaign against the CVA and their allies." Merdaneth countered.
"A free land completely empty of people is infinitely better than a densely populated one ruled by law. Our campaign in Providence might have reduced all the farming indexes to zero, but we raised the potential for greatness by an order of magnitude!" Jade shot back.
"How about your dealings with Against Agricultural Allies and Ushra'Cow? Aren't they using these lands?" Merdaneth tried.
"Sadly Ushra'Cow has been betrayed from within. A traitor pretending to be loyal to the cause but secretly allied with the vile people from Harvesters Reloaded took control of Ushra'Cow and evicted many free brothers from their farms." Jade explained, her voice suddenly fading into something almost resembling sadness.
"Very sorry to hear that, I guess traitors aren't loved by anyone, including the Wheat Fraction." Merdaneth said empathically, surprised he was able to find at least some common ground with this crazed woman.
"Exactly. I spit upon the vermin! May they rot for all eternity!"
"In fact, very recently I've heard of another story involving betrayal, deception and subterfuge. The horse thieves and vandalists within the Angel ranks seem to have been thrown for a loop by some man known as Alexander, a real piece of work I've heard." Merdaneth continued
"Yes, we know him. We recruited him." Jade said matter-of-factly.
"You did what?!" Merdaneth's voice trembled as he tried to fathom this last statement from Jade. "I thought you just said you hated traitors too?"
"All the Free Thieves of the Wheat Fraction come from many backgrounds and political foundations. Amongst our comrades are ex goat abusers, ex milk thieves, ex grain spoilers, ex fertilizer abductors, ex territorialists and ex conformists. As Free Thieves they become simply ex-traordinary." Jade said with an even tone.
"So, you are not condemning his previous actions? Aren't you afraid he will try again?" Merdaneth continued, amazed at yet another odd contradiction by the erstwhile chicken thief.
"I disavow any knowledge of this Alexander using subterfuge, deception or false flag operations while a member of our alliance. This is the one and only statement I will make concerning this matter."
"Say what?"
"I have nothing to explain to a toothless farmyard ranter like yourself. Either challenge me to steal some of my chickens or shut up with your irrelevant questions." Jade finished as she crawled out from under the bush and quickly jogged away from the corn fields and towards a larger copse and disappear within.
"Who was that?" A farmer of Corn Impulse asked Merdaneth, seeing the muck-covered figure running off. Merdaneth told him.
"We sort of like her actually. More bark than bite, a bit of harmless entertainment for the boys. Go easy on her, will you?"
____
The Illusion of Freedom | The Truth about Slavery |
Rosalund Shaw
Caldari School of Applied Knowledge
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Posted - 2010.08.30 20:42:00 -
[3]
You are trying too hard.
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Merdaneth
Amarr Galactic Rangers Galactic-Rangers
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Posted - 2010.08.30 20:46:00 -
[4]
Originally by: Rosalund Shaw
You are trying too hard.
My apologies is the story is not up to your standards ms. Shaw. I will try to do better next time. ____
The Illusion of Freedom | The Truth about Slavery |
Rosalund Shaw
Caldari School of Applied Knowledge
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Posted - 2010.08.30 20:49:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Merdaneth
Originally by: Rosalund Shaw
You are trying too hard.
My apologies is the story is not up to your standards ms. Shaw. I will try to do better next time.
Maybe you could try fighting them rather than flapping your lips for a change; its becoming a bit boring that every other thread on the IGS is from some forum-warrior trying to verbally attack the only people who are actually doing something off the forums. Gives loyalists a bad name.
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Tempus Iskander
Gallente Les Enfants de Gaia
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Posted - 2010.08.30 20:54:00 -
[6]
Tired old political satire few beyond the usual mouthpieces and huff and puff docklings will applaud while those fighting in space will shrug and continue fighting. Nothing new under the stars from this Amarr Nationalist.
___________________________ Without fear and without reproach |
Merdaneth
Amarr Galactic Rangers Galactic-Rangers
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Posted - 2010.08.30 20:58:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Tempus Iskander Tired old political satire few beyond the usual mouthpieces and huff and puff docklings will applaud while those fighting in space will shrug and continue fighting. Nothing new under the stars from this Amarr Nationalist.
I'll take your up on your offer. Who would you suggest as a likely target for an Amarr Nationalist to write political satire about?
After all, if it is indeed boring the public, then its purpose is lost. ____
The Illusion of Freedom | The Truth about Slavery |
Shani Zera
Fleet of Doom Phoenix Virtue
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Posted - 2010.08.30 21:00:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Rosalund Shaw Maybe you could try fighting them rather than flapping your lips for a change; its becoming a bit boring that every other thread on the IGS is from some forum-warrior trying to verbally attack the only people who are actually doing something off the forums. Gives loyalists a bad name.
I've never bothered to weigh in on these sorts of horrible threads, but this really is worth repeating.
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Sabbott
Amarr Blood Inquisition
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Posted - 2010.08.30 21:04:00 -
[9]
I enjoyed , very good for satirical humor, glad my abs are as strong as titanium plates or they might of incurred some damage, also.. I sense you really love her
[BL-IN] Forums /// Book of Virtues |
Silas Vitalia
Khanid Provincial Vanguard
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Posted - 2010.08.30 21:21:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Rosalund Shaw
Maybe you could try fighting them rather than flapping your lips for a change; its becoming a bit boring that every other thread on the IGS is from some forum-warrior trying to verbally attack the only people who are actually doing something off the forums. Gives loyalists a bad name.
Merdaneth and I have our differences, but he does plenty at space. I generally refrain from mentioning statistics on this forum (it's usually crass), but I believe nearly 50 billion in destroyed ship hulls with nearly a 90% efficiency rating certainly counts as doing something in space.
While his fascination with the anarchists is puzzling to me (and I've mentioned it to him publicly here before), his piloting skills are quite-good.
Silas Vitalia CEO Khanid Provincial Vanguard Open for Recruitment!
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Artemis97
Caldari Resistance Project
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Posted - 2010.08.30 21:30:00 -
[11]
You felt the need to immortalize me in a mildly entertaining story. You were, however, trying too hard there at the end.
7/10
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Merdaneth
Amarr Galactic Rangers Galactic-Rangers
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Posted - 2010.08.30 21:37:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Silas Vitalia While his fascination with the anarchists is puzzling to me (and I've mentioned it to him publicly here before), his piloting skills are quite-good.
Sister Vitalia, since you have more experience and better knowledge in matters such as this, was that ms. Shaw's way of challenging me, in a roundabout way, to single in-space combat?
I assume that, if ms. Shaw indeed dislikes 'forum-warrioring' so much but was moved enough by this thread to participate in the practice herself by her post here, that she must be supremely confident in her own in-space combat skills.
____
The Illusion of Freedom | The Truth about Slavery |
Jade Constantine
Gallente Jericho Fraction The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2010.08.30 22:05:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Jade Constantine on 30/08/2010 22:10:36
I think its a stretch to describe him as a combat pilot any more. Post PIE I think he's gotten a bit too fat to get into the command bay of the interceptors he used to fly. But I do agree the obsession here is becoming a bit disturbing to those of a sensitive disposition.
This is what happens when Nationalist Corps are destroyed by Anarchists. We pick up obssessive little trolls incapable of action in space.
Join the Revolution!
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Revan Neferis
Amarr The Archaeus of Blood
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Posted - 2010.08.30 22:07:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Revan Neferis on 30/08/2010 22:07:09
It's Merdaneth and his obsession with Star Fraction again. Trying too hard. Nothing new.
Revan Neferis Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign Sani Sabik
Originally by: Jade Constantine Why-o-why are our enemies so universally poor?
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Jade Constantine
Gallente Jericho Fraction The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2010.08.30 22:19:00 -
[15]
I think he believes he can talk us into losing somehow.
He really doesn't understand anarchists.
Join the Revolution!
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Dunn Idaho
Caldari Core Impulse
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Posted - 2010.08.30 22:27:00 -
[16]
Cool story brother.
I enjoyed reading it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Dunn Idaho Core Impulse
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Jade Constantine
Gallente Jericho Fraction The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2010.08.30 22:35:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Dunn Idaho Cool story brother.
I enjoyed reading it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Dunn Idaho Core Impulse
It's excellent entertainment for nationalists to keep themselves warm at night. As fellow dock monkeys I guess you have a warm place in your heart for Merdaneth.
Join the Revolution!
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Stitcher
Caldari Lai Dai Infinity Systems
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Posted - 2010.08.30 23:10:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Rosalund Shaw Maybe you could try fighting them rather than flapping your lips for a change; its becoming a bit boring that every other thread on the IGS is from some forum-warrior trying to verbally attack the only people who are actually doing something off the forums. Gives loyalists a bad name.
Out of interest, how much would it cost me to hire you to be MY mouthpiece instead? The fact that you've not left the School of Applied Knowledge since you graduated ten months ago implies that there's good money in it. -
- Verin "Stitcher" Hakatain.
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Lucius Vindictus
Amarr Ordo Magna
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Posted - 2010.08.30 23:13:00 -
[19]
I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you for bringing us another creative piece of satire on this otherwise humor-starved summit, Merdaneth. People take themselves too seriously. I will raise a glass of Amarr Victor in your honor. Cheers! ============================= The background of Lucius Vindictus |
Graelyn
Amarr Deus Imperiosus Acies
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Posted - 2010.08.30 23:39:00 -
[20]
Edited by: Graelyn on 30/08/2010 23:39:52
The Star Fraction loves satire.
Until it is pointed at them, at which point the waterworks begin.
Petard hoisting is still a man's game, I suppose...
-CrdGrae
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2010.08.30 23:44:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Tempus Iskander Tired old political satire few beyond the usual mouthpieces and huff and puff docklings will applaud while those fighting in space will shrug and continue fighting. Nothing new under the stars from this Amarr Nationalist.
Hi Jade's bought-and-paid-for IGS forum-whine mouthpiece! You could at least try not to sound like her. ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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Dunn Idaho
Caldari Core Impulse
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Posted - 2010.08.30 23:47:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Jade Constantine
Originally by: Dunn Idaho Cool story brother.
I enjoyed reading it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Dunn Idaho Core Impulse
It's excellent entertainment for nationalists to keep themselves warm at night. As fellow dock monkeys I guess you have a warm place in your heart for Merdaneth.
My heart has room for everyone, even you Jade ^^
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Invelious
Amarr Deus Imperiosus Acies
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Posted - 2010.08.30 23:48:00 -
[23]
Wheat Fraction series is fantastic. Loving it brother. Keep up the ongoing story. There will be a endless run of failures from SF, so naturally I look forward to your next batch of writings.
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The VoidStalker
Gallente Core Impulse
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Posted - 2010.08.31 00:25:00 -
[24]
Good work Merdaneth.
Made me LOL.
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Dock Watcher
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Posted - 2010.08.31 01:23:00 -
[25]
Great work exposing that trannie Constantwine and her crossdressing:- ISK in your evemail coming.
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Arriana Alterana
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Posted - 2010.08.31 01:23:00 -
[26]
Arriana giggles while she reads through this
Very nice, I want more! These are great
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Rosalund Shaw
Caldari School of Applied Knowledge
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Posted - 2010.08.31 03:01:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Merdaneth I assume that, if ms. Shaw indeed dislikes 'forum-warrioring' so much but was moved enough by this thread to participate in the practice herself by her post here, that she must be supremely confident in her own in-space combat skills.
I challenge you to single combat with your chosen weapon. Forum satire.
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Stitcher
Caldari Lai Dai Infinity Systems
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Posted - 2010.08.31 03:20:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Rosalund Shaw I challenge you to single combat with your chosen weapon. Forum satire.
You have a rapier wit. Unfortunately, you're bringing a sword to a gun fight. -
- Verin "Stitcher" Hakatain.
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Jakiin
Amarr Khanid Provincial Vanguard
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Posted - 2010.08.31 03:25:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Rosalund Shaw
Originally by: Merdaneth I assume that, if ms. Shaw indeed dislikes 'forum-warrioring' so much but was moved enough by this thread to participate in the practice herself by her post here, that she must be supremely confident in her own in-space combat skills.
I challenge you to single combat with your chosen weapon. Forum satire.
You know, I wish I'd read this first before I'd read the 'Merd-enough' satire. I could have given it a decent grading.
In fact, if the New Eden Assembly can't grade this little duel of propaganda, then what are we for?
A figure leans into view of the recorder and whispers something into Jakiin's ear. The Khanid frowns.
Oh. Apparently fostering intergalactic peace and reason, which Kaarn has informed me doesn't cover who can most elegantly call the other person names. Damn. * Jakiin Torash Holder Heir of the Kingdom Chief Diplomatic Officer
Uncle Jak wants YOU to join the Khanid Provincial Vanguard! |
Archbishop
Amarr PIE Inc.
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Posted - 2010.08.31 05:21:00 -
[30]
Another humerous reality-as-fiction story about the Wheat Fraction and their chicken poo covered leader. I must say Merdaneth I look forward to these Wheat Fraction stories as they are so clearly based in the reality that is the object of your humor. I recommend everyone read the first two stories again as well as it puts the Wheat Fraction in perspective. Truly an entertaining... and educational read.
Archbishop
PIE WEBSITE ARCHBISHOP PORTAL |
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