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Muck Raker
Gallente Gutter Press
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Posted - 2011.02.23 15:20:00 -
[1]
Gutter Press recently spoke to a Minmatar pilot in Pator who related a tale of woe regarding his status.
"It's impossible lately. I try to go visit my clan, and I am compelled to carry a fighting stick, otherwise I won't make it to the orbital shuttle.", he said. "They'd tear me apart otherwise!"
Incredible!
When asked who would tear him apart, it was revealed to be legions of young Minmatar women, And some not so young too!
Sen-sational!
"I just want to visit my clan, but these women want to abduct me and make me part of theirs. It's unbearable. I think it might be because I'm a part of the Tribal Liberation Force or something." he went on. "So I carry this fighting stick, to keep them back. That way I can get to the shuttle with my clothes intact."
The pilot then showed us the fighting stick, and it was a well crafted item indeed, with many symbols denoting important concepts in Minmatar culture.
"Visiting the clan reminds us of what we're all about. This symbol here represents that", he said.
Unfortunately, the interview was then cut short, as a group of the young women appeared, and the pilot was compelled to take the stick and flee for his life!
Amazing!
We asked some of the station personnel what they made of this trend:
"I only work with people I trust" said one RSS officer. "Personally, I blame the Gallente for things of this nature" said a fast food merchant. "Fighting sticks, yes, we have some, very good, indeed, sculpted from the wreck of an Amarr carrier no less" said the shopkeeper of a curiosity shop.
Gutter Press observed many persons on the station carrying fighting sticks, mostly younger individuals.
Whatever the reasons are behind these phenomena, one thing is true, Personal security is something to be aware of!!!
Rumours! Wars! Rumours of wars! Wars of rumours! |
Syn Callibri
Minmatar 21st Eridani Lighthorse
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Posted - 2011.02.23 15:24:00 -
[2]
Funny...I live in the Republic and haven't seen any of this taking place on any station I've visited. Isn't that odd?
Tac-Ops Commander / ISC [21EL] |
Chinwe Rhei
Minmatar Tribal Liberation Force
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Posted - 2011.02.23 15:36:00 -
[3]
That's probably because you're not in the Tribal Liberation Force as the good captain in the story miss.
I on the other hand have several crates of ancient minmatar fighting sticks built out of a .. erm .. ah yes AVATAR* titan ! No hip Gallente youth should be seen without one, you don't want your matari friends to think you are uncool, do you ? Let them know you support the cause, buy one now !
* disclaimer: stick may not be made from an actual titan. age of artifact not part of purchasing agreement. all purchases are not refundable
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Anabella Rella
Minmatar Gradient Electus Matari
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Posted - 2011.02.23 17:34:00 -
[4]
It's good to see the fine warriors of the TLF getting the recognition they deserve for their service.
Matari Victor!
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar 21st Eridani Lighthorse
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Posted - 2011.02.23 17:59:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Anabella Rella It's good to see the fine warriors of the TLF getting the recognition they deserve for their service.
Matari Victor!
Oops...my mistake. I took what "The Raker" was saying like it was a bad thing...silly me.
...get em' sisters, RAWWWWWWR!
Tac-Ops Commander / ISC [21EL] |
Wyke Mossari
Gallente
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Posted - 2011.02.23 21:59:00 -
[6]
This is an aspect of something starting to emerge all over New Eden. There has long been queues of eager young women at bars and club reputed to have capsleers as patrons, children ship spotting from Station public observation lounges.
At the lowest end it is simply part of the social-entertainment business, Capsuleer gossip & news columns sells, everything from neocom shows and holovids to ship models and action figures.
Some capsuleers deliberately encourage this behaviour and engage their own press offices to leak leads and stories to the media.
Other fans publish their own underground Pod-logs and Pod-zines, which incidentally I have found to be a very effective source of intelligence on some of my colourful business rivals.
At the extreme end, some fans become obsessive and pathological and some Psychologists, councillors and Doctors have even begun refer to it as Capsuleer Worship Syndrome, and it has little to do our immortality but simply as celebrities, heros and aspirational role models.
Man fans engage in spotting from the Observation Decks of stations, there are even recorded instances of them collecting Capsuleer detritus and garbage discard from ships on docking. Increasingly the vacuum freeze-dried remains end up in the hands of fan-collectors rather than the Blood Raiders.
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.02.23 22:01:00 -
[7]
I actually have Nation Warrior status in the TLF. Does this mean that at any Minmatar station I dock at, I'll be swarmed by women? This is an exceptionally distressing and unpleasant concept to me ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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Alica Wildfire
Minmatar Federal Investigations Agency
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Posted - 2011.02.23 22:20:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Alica Wildfire on 23/02/2011 22:22:39 The TLF warriors are highly regarded by our youth. So that young Matari girls go and try to get in touch with some of them is just a question of time. While in other Empires the status of the Capsuleer is regarded god-like or something it is in our culture more like a hero.
I admit that I didn't hear of any fighting-sticks yet but we girls usually carry a dagger of honor with us to make clear that a 'No' is taken as one. I certainly didn't hear of girls that used them to enforce a 'yes'. That's not the way it's working.
But truth is that especially the dashing young Rifter captains are kinda Popstars here. I even heard about a card-game the kids play where they play cards with ships and captains that have certain - well. I am not in that thing but I think they are battling with them in our schools. It's like "I'm beating your Laerise in your Punisher with my Alica in a Rifter" or something like that I guess.
Or maybe more plausible would be: "I'm playing my Alica and you wreck one of your best ships in an asteroid belt due to flying off speed limits" or something like "Playing my Alica, you get a major loss and I wreck a couple of Rifters for that". But this stick-thing is something new. Hope it is not a phallus. -- FREEDOM, PUNK & AUTOCANNONS
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Markius TheShed
Minmatar Murientor Tribe
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Posted - 2011.02.24 09:54:00 -
[9]
With our unstoppable push into the Semou constallation and the apparent collapse of any Amarr militia resistance this type of thing will only get worse.
How much are these fighting sticks? and can I order a station container full?. I will pay extra for one made from King Rothgars Archon wreck
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Jowen Datloran
Caldari Science and Trade Institute
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Posted - 2011.02.24 10:21:00 -
[10]
Edited by: Jowen Datloran on 24/02/2011 10:22:08 Combining ancestral history with self-defense devices appears to be a profitable idea.
Hm, could be spotting a market opportunity there.
-- Mr. Science & Trade Institute - EVE Lorebook - Mysteries of W-space |
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Alica Wildfire
Minmatar Federal Investigations Agency
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Posted - 2011.02.24 11:16:00 -
[11]
Edited by: Alica Wildfire on 24/02/2011 11:24:40 Business opportunity! How could I miss that?!
My Wildfire Industries small scale production facilities are offering fighting sticks, made from the Reclamation wreck in the Traun system with Sebiestor symbols on them.
Reclamation Wreck
Once the Minmatar Rebellion spread into the Ani constellation the Nefantars pleaded with the Amarrians for help. The Amarrians responded by sending their largest battleship to the constellation, the Reclamation. At first, the huge ship along with its escort of support ships, swept through the constellation, destroying several squadrons of rebel forces. But only a week after its arrival, it was infiltrated by a Sebiestor saboteur and demolished. The destruction of the Reclamation signaled the end of the Amarrian initiative to eradicate the rebels in one blow, forcing them onto the defense.
Did I mention that the girl who was sabotaging this vessel is one of my clan? I never boasted with this and still will not, because this has happened long before I was born. And I don't believe in fame that comes from birth. I only believe in some that is coming from deeds.
So. My fighting sticks will offer individual motto on it and has electric edges what will buzz away any threat that is coming down on you. You can snap it open for pole length or fight with it in it's stick length form for close quarter combat. The charges are good for about five minutes of fighting (average hits) before you have to recharge the capacitor, which takes a while. You can turn the zapp from "kinky" to "new haircut" level. The higher the level of zapp the shorter the capacitor will hold.
Do not touch the ends. Only for use for self-defense. Zapping is considered harmless for the human body. Causalities due to zapping just show sickness of the body that would have died early anyway on the next thriller on trid. Use it with care but don't be a miser with the energy. My cap charges are cheap, use them plenty.
This tool falls under the category "small arms" and is considered illegal in Amarr Empire. No guarantee given. No f*cking producer's liability or other counter revolutionary f*ck given. You are a free man. You see for yourself and don't blame other for your failures, k? -- FREEDOM, PUNK & AUTOCANNONS
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Sinti Vailatti
MMZ Laboratories LLC
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Posted - 2011.02.24 13:43:00 -
[12]
Brutor women want SnuSnu!
Serving the Dark Amarr |
Antarra Starwind
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Posted - 2011.03.02 10:14:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Sinti Vailatti Brutor women want SnuSnu!
P3nis?
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar 21st Eridani Lighthorse
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Posted - 2011.03.02 14:49:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 02/03/2011 14:49:02
Originally by: Sinti Vailatti Brutor women want SnuSnu!
Among the Scorpion clan its called Mar aon GhnTas.
"shadows and dust." |
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