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Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.05.25 07:00:00 -
[1]
Working title.
This information is mostly classified until the story develops by at least 80%, but I willl give you tidbits of info about it. I am also having trouble thinking of a name for it, so if you can help, let me know.
The most I can tell you about it right now is that it involves Jovians, Pirates, a Top-Secret Program, and Slaver Hounds.
The opening goes like this (in simple terms):
A Jovian Scientist was trying to find a cure for his society, and all of his experiments failed, up until he tried injecting some of his own DNA into various animals from different planets within the constellation. After numerous failed attempts, he started making FTL Transmittions to different systems, requesting specimens he has not yet tried. After a few months, he finally made a deal for a shiptment of illegally obtained Slaver Hounds from a Sansha Outpost. The said he would recieve his shipment on one condition; that he used his research to develop an genetically augmented Super-Soldier. He "agreed" and recieved his shipment, but focused on saving his empire instead.
Alright, you heard enough. Class is dismissed. Go home now. ________ The little things |
Calathea Sata
State War Academy
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Posted - 2011.05.25 10:05:00 -
[2]
Can I play the girl who fell in love with the werewolf?
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Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.05.26 07:26:00 -
[3]
Not a Werewolf A Hybrid There is a difference
Here is the difference:
Werewolves can change forms, hybrids cannot Nobody in New Eden even knows if Wolves are real (they are considered a mythical beast by the Minmatar) The main character (the hybrid) is female. ____________ ___475755___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
Chevalleis
The Legendary Conquest Imperial Radiant Empire
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Posted - 2011.05.26 11:09:00 -
[4]
I think she was just trolling. Please re-size your signature to the maximum allowed of 400 x 120 pixels with a maximum file size of 24000 bytes. Zymurgist |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.05.26 11:17:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Chevalleis I think she was just trolling.
If that is case... *Clicks report button* ____________ ___706402___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
Calathea Sata
State War Academy
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Posted - 2011.05.26 12:34:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Chevalleis I think she was just trolling.
Now I'm interested in hearing why you would actually think I was just trolling.
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Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.05.26 12:40:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Calathea Sata
Originally by: Chevalleis I think she was just trolling.
Now I'm interested in hearing why you would actually think I was just trolling.
Maybe he was wrong. ____________ ___157212___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.05.27 06:43:00 -
[8]
Bumping thread for great justice. ____________ ___69992___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
Wyke Mossari
Gallente
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Posted - 2011.05.27 09:16:00 -
[9]
What you have written is a synopsis not a narrative. You need to write a story not a news report. Paint a setting, introduce the character. Don't be in a rush, if a story is good and engaging, it doesn't matter if it is drawn out.
It also seems like it is going to be ClichT Storm, Jove, Sansha, Super-Soldiers, Faustian deals. Ask yourself does he really need to be Jove, does it need to be a Sansha Station, If you really need them introduce the clichT slowly, otherwise drop them altogether or replace them with something more original.
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Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.05.27 11:57:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Wyke Mossari
What you have written is a synopsis not a narrative. You need to write a story not a news report. Paint a setting, introduce the character. Don't be in a rush, if a story is good and engaging, it doesn't matter if it is drawn out.
It also seems like it is going to be ClichT Storm, Jove, Sansha, Super-Soldiers, Faustian deals. Ask yourself does he really need to be Jove, does it need to be a Sansha Station, If you really need them introduce the clichT slowly, otherwise drop them altogether or replace them with something more original.
Huh? Look, I am not good at writing stories. And I am not trying to put in cliches.
If you want, you can expand on this idea and maybe help do the narration or something.
Here are some notes on the main character:
Gender: Female Species: Experimental Hybrid Race: "Born" in a Jovian Lab, but Raised on a Caldari Station Age during Chapter 1: Late Teens to Early Twenties (preferably the second one)
Notes on the story I am planning:
After an attempt by unidentified criminals during a Peace Conference to assinate a Gallentean Ambassador, the main character is accused of the attempt. After breaking out of prison, they try to prove that they are not guilty, and they also attempt to track down those who tried to destroy the station.
You can elaborate on that. ____________ ___178954___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
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Dilaro thagriin
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Posted - 2011.05.27 20:29:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari [an attempt by unidentified criminals during a Peace Conference to assinate a Gallentean Ambassador
About those ClichTs...
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Calathea Sata
State War Academy
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Posted - 2011.05.27 20:38:00 -
[12]
Amaroq, I think you shouldn't listen to us at all at this stage. Just finish your story, in your own unique way. We can give you comments after we have read it.
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Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.05.31 03:00:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 31/05/2011 03:03:02 Bump for great justice.
P.S.: HHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE GGGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNSSSSS ____________ ___488850___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.06.01 03:22:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 31/05/2011 03:18:14 Bump for great justice.
P.S.: HUUUUUUUUGGGGEEEE GGGUUUUUUUNNNNSSSS
____________ ___297389___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
Calathea Sata
State War Academy
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Posted - 2011.06.01 11:23:00 -
[15]
I am afraid you cannot bump interesting into the story.
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Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr Vengeance Industrial Militia
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Posted - 2011.06.08 20:48:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 08/06/2011 20:47:58 Any suggestions? Anyone? ____________ ___173059___ ^^My Signature is Better than Yours^^ |
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