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Skippermonkey
Tactical Knightmare Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
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Posted - 2011.08.09 12:59:00 -
[31]
Edited by: Skippermonkey on 09/08/2011 12:59:16
Originally by: Lady Spank this is a patrol report.
due to recent issues with my pilot license i am forced to reinstall the neural space pilot client and log in to my transloquational respondermajobs with all settings reset to TERRIBLE GON GET ME KILLED LIKE THIS mode. this happens while I am on partol in ANTI-VIOLENCE THRASHER vessel at the sun in fliet danger security system with BAD pirats around. quickly i set up my directional scanner to go more than 5000m and to filter out peaceful stations and POS. Immediately I spot and pinpoint a HERETICAL SENTINEL trying to gain contol of system from the caldari sov owners.
during warp I attempt to wrestle the overview into some sort of order. exiting warp i land 30km away and make boost speeds towards the target immediately. this arrogant criminal defies the law and remains to claim sovereignty. quickly i vanquish him despite his ENERGY NEUTRALISING efforts.
i have been on patrol for 5 minutes. this is an auspicious start to crimebusting proceedings.
a couple systems over another gallente crimer attempts to fly under the radar by employing a CORMORANT caldari unit against the very people that designed her. this was dealt with.
sometimes anti-baddie combat incurs a security countdown since CONCORD cannot be everywhere at once and often mistakes my efforts as pirate acts themselves. during my GCC naughty box I see a PETULANT PURIFIER attempt what the cormorant could not. one short warp and within seconds he was purged and i returned to GCC class situations. thankfully my teapot was still operational.
old man star is known for its history of villany and upon investigating this system i discover a foul beast camping a celestial in his rifter unit. once more crimers were punished. it has been a good day for JUSTICE.
what happens next is most regrettable but leads to some interesting JUSTICE MAKING TECHNIQUES
feeling pleased with my LAWMAKING thus far i engage another criminal flagged rifter but this one is PREPARED and shortly gets under my guns and makes a mockery of my attempts to punish BAD PEOPLE. defeated i turn tail and head back for another THRASHER peace making unit.
upon entering HEVRICE i am challenged by KNOWN CRIMINAL Suleiman Shouaa. an opportunitly like this comes rarely so i square down to show this MEAN BUTT whats what. well that failed but ONLY JUST. strangely this outlaw showed rare generosity and offered me an escape vessel he had relinquished from naughty russian baiting nasty faces. a quick fefit of this RETRIBUTION gets me ready to head off to AMAMAKE to deal with the organised criminal event FRIGAT FRIDAY. i am never to make it to my destination.
awaiting my arrival in LERMIREVE is a frigate gatecamp with Thorax mothership. these heretics DEFY THE LAW by firing upon me as I attempt to coast safely out of their range. SWIFT justice is dealt to the kitsune JAM BOAT before I can even react myself. it is nice to be on the right side of the law. SWITFTLY i lock up the remaining bads but have been on patrol too long and make the error of engaging the one frigate that did not actually shoot me. now the LAW mistakenly identify ME as a criminal and quickly attempt to bring retribution to my retribution. how can i be a criminal without a warp scrambling device? regardless i am able to administer divine payback to the neer-do well NEMESIS boat before the accidental destruction of my ship. IF I HADNT DERPED ON THE FIRST DAMN TARGET I COULD HAVE KILLED SOME MORE OF THEM, REGARDLESS THEY DIED
relieved of ship yet again i return to headquarters. tommorrow is another day and there are many more nasty faces to punish.
CRIMERS GONNA B CRIMINATED
reported for impersonating Lady Shaniqua http://ladyshaniqua.blogspot.com/ ...unless - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - EVE: TESTING GROUNDS FOR WoD & DUST SINCE 2011 |
foksieloy
Minmatar Rockets ponies and rainbows
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Posted - 2011.08.09 13:17:00 -
[32]
Oh noe, two pages already? _______________________ The best thing in EvE is Barrage M. |
Lady Go Diveher
The Independent Troll Society
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Posted - 2011.08.09 22:49:00 -
[33]
Originally by: foksieloy Oh noe, two pages already?
You fail sniped.
I didn't -------
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Dirk Magnum
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
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Posted - 2011.08.09 22:56:00 -
[34]
THREE ****ING PAGES!
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Tao Haemon
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Posted - 2011.08.10 06:44:00 -
[35]
Excellent read Lady Spank -thanks for the quality post!
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foksieloy
Minmatar Rockets ponies and rainbows
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Posted - 2011.08.10 06:50:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Lady Go Diveher
Originally by: foksieloy Oh noe, two pages already?
You fail sniped.
I didn't
Actually some posts got deleted in the meanwhile. :'( _______________________ The best thing in EvE is Barrage M. |
Singeabooty Raj
Marcabian 5th Invasion Fleet HYDRA RELOADED
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Posted - 2011.08.10 06:51:00 -
[37]
is drunk - can i get parley?
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Xearal
Minmatar SOL Industries Black Thorne Alliance
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Posted - 2011.08.10 08:00:00 -
[38]
Nice read ;)
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Soi Mala
Whacky Waving Inflatable Flailing Arm Tubemen
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Posted - 2011.08.10 14:52:00 -
[39]
Edited by: Soi Mala on 10/08/2011 14:53:34 Edited by: Soi Mala on 10/08/2011 14:53:03
Originally by: Skippermonkey
reported for impersonating Lady Shaniqua http://ladyshaniqua.blogspot.com/ ...unless
edit: i'm really failing at forums online today.
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Kitty McKitty
Gallente In Praise Of Shadows
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Posted - 2011.08.10 14:57:00 -
[40]
As CEO of his corporation I have been asked to inform everyone that Lady Spank has quit posting to the EVE Online forums for the forseeable future. ~~~
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Karl Planck
Labyrinth Obtaining Chaotic Kangaroos
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Posted - 2011.08.10 16:59:00 -
[41]
lol, awesomesauce. Most fun report in quite some time -------------------------------------------------
Don't debate with morons. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. |
Feligast
Minmatar GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
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Posted - 2011.08.10 18:45:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Kitty McKitty As CEO of his corporation I have been asked to inform everyone that Lady Spank has quit posting to the EVE Online forums for the forseeable future.
Here is the real crime :(
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Dirk Magnum
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
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Posted - 2011.08.10 18:58:00 -
[43]
Who will be our dad-mom now
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CLONE 9
Amarr Viziam
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Posted - 2011.08.10 21:25:00 -
[44]
Kitty - your neck freaks me. 9. |
Coffe's Babe
Caldari Redemptions Calling Imperium Alliance
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Posted - 2011.08.10 21:55:00 -
[45]
Originally by: Kitty McKitty As CEO of his corporation I have been asked to inform everyone that Lady Spank has quit posting to the EVE Online forums for the forseeable future.
Drinks are on me today!
Smart people have quotes in their sig - me |
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