Muck Raker
Gutter Press
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Posted - 2011.10.04 17:11:00 -
[1] - Quote
Astonishing news reaches Gutter Press today, as the famed Dr. Hilen Tukoss himself spoke out, on a number of issues, relating to Arek'jaalan and the wider New Eden society!
Gutter Press readers had submitted a number of questions, which Dr. Tukoss took some time out to answer!
Incredible!
The amazing revelations in the answers drew comment from a broad section of society!
GÇó Question 1: Do you prefer Starsi or Quafe? o Starsi
With this single word, dozens of pro-Quafe activists took to protesting outside Starsi outlets, claiming that the State had pressured Dr. Tukoss into making this statement. Federation police were quickly on the scene and a number of arrests were made.
GÇó Question 2: What is your favourite colour? o Blue
Fashion critics across the Coriault constellation made a number of comments about this, and how it represents conservative fashion sense, unlike the dynamic and progressive Federation fashion!
GÇó Question 3: Was your escape from the State primarily motivated by the Oppressive Regime of the Dictator Heth? o My departure has been explained elsewhere. It had little, ultimately, to do with the policies of Tibus Heth.
Political theorists analysed this comment and suggested that there is a hidden agenda here, and that Tibus Heth's agents are probably everywhere. The only counter to this sort of Caldari oppression is to protest at every opportunity about the oppressive Heth regime.
GÇó Question 4: How have you and your staff found adapting to the Republic and local customs? o WeGÇÖve managed to adapt quite well. The staff that left the State with me have since moved on from Eram, and are enjoying a much deserved break in Republic space. I hear from them every few days, and they are enjoying their new home as much as I am.
Gallente and Minmatar social commentators expressed great delight at these comments, as it shows the Federation and Republic to be warm and welcoming, unlike the cold embrace of the Caldari State.
GÇó Question 9: Why are Caldari men usually so squarely jawed? o Genetics.
A group of Gallente body modders expressed some dismay at this, as a square jaw allows for some specific types of modifications that other jaw shapes do not!
Incredible!
In other questions, Dr. Tukoss was quick to quash talk that the Arek'jaalan project would "doom us all" as some alarmist theorists had forecast. He also expressed the sentiment that the Serpentis are unlikely to interfere, as given the Serpentis Corporation's wealth, they could probably just buy anything in question instead.
The threat of Awakened Sleepers bringing about the End Times was also discounted, given that "Capsuleers have been systematically destroying Sleeper drones for years now. I wouldnGÇÖt be concerned about us doing some documentation of what weGÇÖve found out there"
Criticism by outraged Federation taxpayers was also deflected, with Dr. Tukoss saying that "Given our limited funding and its laser-tight focus on incentivizing documentation work, IGÇÖm not sure how someone came to such a conclusion. Perhaps I do not properly understand their concern." in response to comments by some Federal taxpayers suggesting the project was a boondoggle.
Astonishing!
GÇó Question 10: What do you say to the statement that: "Science is the process of asking God to reveal some of the mysteries of the Universe, through the medium of correctly structured experimental inquiry"? o IGÇÖd say that asking questions is absolutely a part of science, as is correctly structured experimental enquiry. ItGÇÖs an interesting question. In a sense, I donGÇÖt think it matters who you ask the questions of, so long as you ask good ones, and are prepared to find the answers yourself.
A surprise endorsement of the Amarrian scientific method!
The final questions were about the Sansha Menace!
GÇó Question 12: Have the Nation-aligned pilots in the project been doing their avant-garde comedy routines? o There have been several well-known loyalists of many pirate factions contributing some excellent ground work, certainly. IGÇÖve missed the comedy routines though, it would appear.
GÇó Question 13: Do you know anything about the Sansha's Nation pilots fondness for cubes of cheese, ham or pineapple, on cocktail sticks? o I donGÇÖt, but I did realize something while thinking about it. Spikes are a defense mechanism. Quite an odd concept for a Sansha ship to evoke, really; defense.
In-cred-ible!
Gutter Press thanks Dr. Tukoss for being so approachable, and will continue to publish stories from Arek'jaalan that the readers may find interesting! |