Herko Kerghans
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Posted - 2005.06.01 05:12:00 -
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ôAll analyses correctà yep, welcome back, kid. You may find your new you a bit tight at first, but it will loosen up after some wearing.ö The bad joke was part of the protocol by now. ôYour hands are still shaking a littleàö
ôIÆm ok Doc. As you just said. ItÆs justàö
Doc Kourailen dropped the report on his desk and listened.
ôThereÆsà something out there, Doc. IÆve felt it beforeà but this time I could almost hear it.ö
ôWhat is æitÆ, kid?ö
ôWish I knew Doc. Feels like thereÆs somebody out there watching me, through all the fightàItÆs not the first time. Somehow it makes me feel so calm and relaxed that my perceptionà expands? No matter what they other guys do, IÆm always one step aheadà they usually need 5 to 1 odds to bring me downàö
ôBut they do bring you down, kid. Heck, this is your 23rd you IÆm talking to here. I mean please, be my guest, kids like you podding each other day in day out is what keep me in business, but why the hell donÆt you warp away?ö
ôBecause somebody is watching me, Doc. Every time I think of running away it feels likeà like somebody isà disappointed. So I stay. Even if the rest of the gang safespots, even if they leave system, I stay. I stay, and fight, and killàö
Crow hands shook a bit more.
ôàand get killedà and today, right then, right when the pod went pop, I could almost hear it. From above. You donÆt know how wrong that above thing feels, Doc. There is no above out there, thatÆs the first thing you learn about zero G. But thisà voiceà this voice came from above.ö
ôHow do you know, kid? You couldnÆt hear itàö
ôI just know. It did. And I wanted to go there, I wanted to go there as I never wanted anything else in my livesà And then the usual pull, the light, the choking feeling, and your handsome face from the other side of the clone vat.ö
Doc Kourailen glanced at the ceiling. ôLesseeà You have to get yourself outnumbered five to one, and you gotta stay and fight, æcos somebody whoÆs watching may get disappointed if you run awayà and thereÆs also this voice that you cannot hear, coming from above even though there is no aboveà did I got everything alright?ö
Crow grinned.
ôI dunno, kidà Your brain scan is good as ever, and you pod jockeys do talk a hell lotta crap after being recloned. But this voice from above, I dunnoàö
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Crow was shaking enough to make Doc Kourailen bypass protocol.
ôThis time you heard it, right?ö
Crow nodded.
ôFrom above again?ö
Nod.
ôWhat did it say, Crow? Crowà Crow! Look at me kid! What did it say?ö
ôItÆs she. Female. She said æThis one is worthy. We will take him.Æ Coming from above. And then I was here.ö
Doc Kourailen grabbed Crow by the shoulders. ôCrowà listen to me sonà You gotta take a break, ya hear? This body is as good as new, because it is new. But your mind is not. Most people find dying just once stressful enough, and youÆve already died a coupla dozens times yourself. You need some time off, kid. Whatever it is you are listeningàö, Doc Kourailen tapped his forehead, ôitÆs in here.ö
Crow shook his head.
ôCÆmon son... Talk to your CEO. He will understand. Hell, donÆt you pod jockeys take vacations?ö
Crow showed enough teeth to make the gesture look like a sad smile.
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Crow hands were shaking so bad that the pen fell from his hands. He closed his eyes. Breath inà breath outà he willed his heartbeat to something closer to normal.
He signed.
Both men looked at the papers over the desk for a long, long time.
Doc Kourailen reached into his bottom drawer and pulled some hakÆlen and two glasses.
ôNow donÆt go spilling it over the desk, son. ItÆs the good stuff.ö
Crow drank it in one shot. ôHaak-kin kÆlenö, he coughed. Doc Kourailen poured him another.
ôDonÆt they revoke your doctorÆs license if you drink at work, Doc? Or was it smoking?ö
ôDrinking. Drinking on duty gets you permabanned. Smoking only gets you suspended for six weeks.ö Doc Kourailen pulled a pack of cigarettes and offered one to Crow. ôWhich technically means that drinking encourages smoking. After all, forever is almost as long as forever and six weeksàö
Crow stared at his glass.
Doc Kourailen blew some smoke upwards. ôI sure as hell hope you know what you are doing, sonà but then again, who does?ö
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CrowÆs CEO stared at the papers but there was no mistake: that was CrowÆs signature, all over all the correct dotted lines.
ôHe justà signed?ö
Doc Kourailen nodded.
ôJust like that? Notà not a transfer? Just plainà cancelled?ö
ôYep.ö
ôSo he isà jà j-justàö
ôDead? Since your crew recovered his 25th frozen self from the battle not two hours agoà yep, I guess he is.ö
CrowÆs CEO silently moved his lips.
ôI donÆt knowàö said Doc Kourailen to both CEO and ceiling. ôGuess he had to go looking for answers where his body couldnÆt follow himàö
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