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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 3 post(s) |
Lord Razpataz
Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance
205
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Posted - 2016.01.26 00:52:30 -
[481] - Quote
Its that time again.. more activity than targets. Aaaaand.. I'm not going to do a blanket dec spree.
Anyone have any targets for us that are active? |
Valkin Mordirc
1858
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Posted - 2016.01.26 02:12:07 -
[482] - Quote
If you looking for a fight Killswitch Alliance recently gave us a decent one.
#DeleteTheWeak
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Fybs
Somalian Coast Guard Authority
635
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Posted - 2016.01.26 13:28:48 -
[483] - Quote
I'm happy to announce Devils will be hosting my SCA. for awhile before my leave into null sec.
I have 3 years experience in HS wars so you could say I no a thing or two
Now is a fantastic time to grab a contract from these lads for the up and coming weekend.
Don't confuse kindness with weakness.
Beware the hand of Fybs.
Proud CEO of the Somalian Coast Guard Authority
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Mortlake
Devils Rejects 666
1528
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Posted - 2016.01.26 13:52:13 -
[484] - Quote
I was only gone 24hrs. Who left the cat flap open?
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
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Sol epoch
HELVEGEN Archetype.
211
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Posted - 2016.01.26 14:00:54 -
[485] - Quote
Fybs wrote:I'm happy to announce Devils will be hosting my SCA. for awhile before my leave into null sec. I have 3 years experience in HS wars so you could say I no a thing or two Now is a fantastic time to grab a contract from these lads for the up and coming weekend.
Good bunch of guys and a positive move.
I wish you well in your endevour.
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Fybs
Somalian Coast Guard Authority The Devil's Warrior Alliance
642
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Posted - 2016.01.29 12:16:01 -
[486] - Quote
Breaking News...
Mortlake is giving away free topless pics with every new contract.
Grab yours today for this fantastic offer.
Only Available while stocks lasts. T&C's apply.
Don't confuse kindness with weakness.
Beware the hand of Fybs.
Proud CEO of the Somalian Coast Guard Authority
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Lord Razpataz
Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance
205
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Posted - 2016.01.30 01:31:04 -
[487] - Quote
Disclaimer: *If you dont want a topless pic of Mortlake, relax.. you can still contact us for contracts.*
My devils are getting to bloodthirsty, hard keeping them in line. Use this opportunity to unleash hell on your target. |
Saeger1737
Bite the pillow Archetype.
1307
|
Posted - 2016.01.30 02:47:18 -
[488] - Quote
Mortlake should wear a devil battle thong and do a full picture for a contract. |
Mortlake
Devils Rejects 666
1692
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Posted - 2016.01.30 11:13:51 -
[489] - Quote
I have no intention of providing services in exchange for cheap melon shots, so please stop emailing me with pictures of bockwurst and kiwi fruit.
I will, however, provide you with one from a recent shoot I did for Buff Brutor magazine.
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
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HoleySheet1
Renegade Armada. What Squad
785
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Posted - 2016.01.31 20:09:05 -
[490] - Quote
Make your CSM vote count! Vote for me for CSM.
Check my thread in the CSM forum. Have a great day.
Player driven Emperor of Amarr, no npc crap. Kneel before me.
https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime
A magical Life Lesson :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xATi_9seuk
WAAAAAAZZZOOOOOO
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Mortlake
Devils Rejects 666
1744
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Posted - 2016.01.31 21:09:46 -
[491] - Quote
Who farted?
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
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HoleySheet1
Renegade Armada. What Squad
785
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Posted - 2016.01.31 21:16:52 -
[492] - Quote
Mortlake wrote:Who farted?
Possibly your mom upstairs?
Top Amarr killer of all times.
https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime
Running for CSM 2016. Check my thread in the CSM section of the forums. Make your vote count!
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Mortlake
Devils Rejects 666
1750
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Posted - 2016.01.31 21:31:01 -
[493] - Quote
There it is again. Could someone open a window?
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
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Kaely Tanniss
Addicted To Chaos Archetype.
542
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Posted - 2016.02.01 02:26:38 -
[494] - Quote
Fybs wrote:Breaking News...
Mortlake is giving away free topless pics with every new contract.
Grab yours today for this fantastic offer.
Only Available while stocks lasts. T&C's apply.
Giggity
If I had a nickel for every time someone said women don't play eve, I'd have a bag of nickels to whack the next person who said it..
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HoleySheet1
Renegade Armada. What Squad
788
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Posted - 2016.02.02 12:48:17 -
[495] - Quote
I would hire you for a service...if you leave romi.
Check my official CSM campaign in the CSM section of the forums.
Top Amarr killer of all times:
https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime
Running for CSM 2016. Check my thread in the CSM section of the forums. Make your vote count!
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Ralph King-Griffin
Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance
13925
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Posted - 2016.02.02 13:21:16 -
[496] - Quote
HoleySheet1 wrote:I would hire you for a service...if you leave romi.
Check my official CSM campaign in the CSM section of the forums. the irony of that is delicious holy .
im fairly certain i could run a successful csm campaign based solely on not being you.
Better the Devil you know.
=]|[=
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HoleySheet1
Renegade Armada. What Squad
788
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Posted - 2016.02.02 16:22:03 -
[497] - Quote
I appreciate your thoughts. So your campaign would be : "I'm not holeysheet1". Hmmmmm, that'd definitely get you some votes. Bon chance.
Top Amarr killer of all times:
https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime
Running for CSM 2016. Check my thread in the CSM section of the forums. Make your vote count!
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Ralph King-Griffin
Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance
13929
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Posted - 2016.02.02 19:03:47 -
[498] - Quote
HoleySheet1 wrote:I appreciate your thoughts. So your campaign would be : "I'm not holeysheet1". Hmmmmm, that'd definitely get you some votes. Bon chance. Something like, "Vote King-Griffin : I'm neither HolySheet1 nor Xenoria"
Better the Devil you know.
=]|[=
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Mortlake
Devils Rejects 666
1803
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Posted - 2016.02.04 09:49:50 -
[499] - Quote
My beard aches for combat.
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
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Yourmoney Mywallet
Jita Institute of Applied Monetary Manipulation
845
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Posted - 2016.02.04 09:56:03 -
[500] - Quote
You're not honestly calling that thing a beard. |
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Omar Alharazaad
Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance
2746
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Posted - 2016.02.04 15:07:16 -
[501] - Quote
If we leave Romi... it's not like we'd fly 21 jumps just to push some WT Orca pilot's shite in or something... Oh wait. That just happened.
Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.
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Mortlake
Devils Rejects 666
1820
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Posted - 2016.02.05 00:21:52 -
[502] - Quote
Yourmoney Mywallet wrote:You're not honestly calling that thing a beard.
Honestly? Yes. Yes I am. Mainly because it's not a moustache. It used to be a moustache, and a carnivorous moustache at that. We had a beautifully simple, symbiotic relationship for many years. I'd trough like a hog and 'Melvin' would clean up when I was done.
One fateful evening, after arriving back at station following a horrendously heavy drinking session, I happened upon a Fedo doing unmentionable things on the mat outside the door to my quarters. To say I was unimpressed would be an understatement, and due to the amount of alcohol I'd consumed I wasn't exactly in a position to exercise much self control.
A few swift kicks to the nose rendered the disgusting, flatulent blob unconscious, and without thinking (as I often don't) I dragged the helpless little chap inside. I guess that in my drunken stupor I must have thought it a would be a good idea to throw him into the wardrobe and lock the door, because around 4am I was awoken by the most terrible screams emanating from the bedroom. I unpeeled myself off the floor where I'd passed out, and with my hands over my ears I approached the wardrobe, which by now was practically shaking itself apart.
Unsure whether to open the door or not, I sat at the foot of the bed and considered my predicament. Firstly I had a splitting headache and the screaming wasn't helping. Secondly, I liked my wardrobe, and the fat sack of pod snot inside was very likely to destroy it from the inside out. Thirdly, I wanted another drink, and there was no way I was going out and leaving Mr Mucous to slide around in my quarters, especially as I'd only just finished wallpapering and my ear collection was out for it's yearly airing.
Stroking my moustache thoughtfully, I began pacing around the room, trying to think of a way to get out of this ridiculous predicament when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my right index finger. Melvin had bitten me, and that could only mean one thing. He was hungry.
Only once before had this ever happened, and for the life of me at the time I couldn't work out why he'd done it. Now I knew. He wanted Fedo meat; he wanted it bad!
Several years ago, I'd gone on vacation to Ashab II (a huge undertaking for me as I never leave Romi) and happened to find myself in a rather posh Gallentean establishment serving Fedo in garlic butter. As I lifted the first spoonful to my mouth, Melvin practically ripped himself from his moorings and dived headlong into the bowl, rolling around in Fedo medallions with gay abandon. It was all rather embarrassing.
Naturally as I was inebriated, I'd forgotten about how Melvin felt about Fedos. Melvin hadn't though, and as I tried desperately to soothe him he suddenly sprang forward, pushing between my fingers and throwing his full weight against the wardrobe, scratching it slightly; then slowly but surely, he inched his way across the face of the door and in through the vent at the top.
There followed a few seconds of deathly silence, then the most blood curdling screams you could possibly imagine which seemed to last for hours upon hours, or perhaps I dreamt it. I'd passed out, again.
I'm not entirely sure how long I slept, but by the time I awoke, the bedroom was silent. Rising from the bed I surveyed the scene. The wardrobe door lay wide open and inside was the shrivelled husk of a Fedo, simply skin and slime and nothing more, hanging pathetically from a coat hook. All my beautiful clothes were ruined, dripping with thick, pink goo. Instinctively my hand went up to my face, but Melvin wasn't there. I sat back down on the bed, put my head in my hands and began to cry. Melvin had gone.
I'd probably been been sobbing for a few minutes when I noticed an itch developing on my ankle. Reaching down to scratch, I felt something small and fluffy and upon opening my eyes I saw it was Melvin, crawling up my leg, fat and bloated with Fedo meat and growling all the while. Not wanting to anger him further, I retracted my hand and watched with happy tears as he struggled past my knee, up my thigh and on to my stomach, pausing to take a breath every few inches. I could see he was exhausted but was hesitant to help as I couldn't be sure how he'd react.
After several hours, the poor little guy had made it as far as my chin. With his breathing by now very laboured, he nestled into the crook of my chin and gave a barely audible sigh, then began purring contentedly.
Melvin had found his new home. Melvin had evolved. Melvin was a beard.
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
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Moon Moon Burdy
Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance
211
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Posted - 2016.02.05 00:37:13 -
[503] - Quote
For the love of all this is shiny and good in this life, you need to write more, Mortlake.
That brought a tear to my eyes. Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
Things that went boom
Storytime with Moon Moon New stories semi frequently-ish!
Promising Young Murderer, Education Appreciated.
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Starrakatt
Run and Gun Mercenary Corps FETID
358
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Posted - 2016.02.05 17:39:00 -
[504] - Quote
I think, if I can remember it, as my cognitive capabilities aren't what they were only a couple years ago, that I will contract a Fedo for Melvin. It is obvious that Mortlake badly ignored Melvin's needs for a long time, or the mustache wouldn't have acted in such a way, nor in such a malevolently violent manner if the issue had been adressed earlier.
Shame on you Mortlake, shame.
Witness all, Mortlake's smugness and contentment at Melvin's new chin location, as if it was a good thing. The poor thing almost died getting up there, and what was it's master doing? Eh what? Nothing. He. Did. NOTHING. To help. What is a finger or two when witnessing such a plight? The sluggish, agonizing crawl was so absolutely heartbreaking that I almost rendered my luncheon all over my keyboard.
Poor, poor Melvin, to have such a master. Put it back in it's rightful place I say, you pet torturer Morty.
Shame, that is all I have to say.
P.S Better you feed it the Fedo I'll send, or else...
Sneaky bastard.
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Mortlake
Devils Rejects 666
1829
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Posted - 2016.02.08 11:28:53 -
[505] - Quote
Starrakatt wrote:
Misconceptions.
You've got me all wrong. He's shampooed every day and I regularly moisturise my chin. He's well cared for.
Thanks for the Fedo anyway, mang.
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
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Starrakatt
Run and Gun Mercenary Corps FETID
360
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Posted - 2016.02.08 13:43:34 -
[506] - Quote
Mortlake wrote:Starrakatt wrote:
Misconceptions.
You've got me all wrong. He's shampooed every day and I regularly moisturise my chin. He's well cared for. So say you. I will be watching.
Quote:Thanks for the Fedo anyway, mang. You're welcome.
Sneaky bastard.
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Ralph King-Griffin
Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance
14034
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Posted - 2016.02.08 14:25:42 -
[507] - Quote
I can confirm mort does indeed bathe his "beard", visibly. It's , unsettling to say the least ... Think breast feeding in public , just with heavy petting and purring.
Better the Devil you know.
=]|[=
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Dilligafmofo
Sandman Plc
375
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Posted - 2016.02.08 16:24:40 -
[508] - Quote
Bitty ? |
Omar Alharazaad
Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance
2757
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Posted - 2016.02.19 17:47:58 -
[509] - Quote
Does the fact that I've never found Mortlake to be creepy at all make me by default creepy? Sometimes I wonder if perhaps my definition of normal is a bit skewed...
Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.
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Starrakatt
Run and Gun Mercenary Corps FETID
367
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Posted - 2016.02.19 22:47:23 -
[510] - Quote
Omar Alharazaad wrote:Does the fact that I've never found Mortlake to be creepy at all make me by default creepy? Sometimes I wonder if perhaps my definition of normal is a bit skewed... It's not you, it's everyone else...
Sneaky bastard.
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