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Jada Maroo
Mysterium Astrometrics BRABODEN
243
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Posted - 2011.10.14 17:35:00 -
[1] - Quote
I was on my way to see a movie the other day and passed by a pack of those tights/speedo-wearing, Whole Foods-shopping, bike riding weirdos peddling along on the side of the street. I didn't really think much of them other than my usual "I hope they get run over." -- I'm fairly live and let live after all - but then I noticed up ahead that a sherriff's department patrol car was parked sideways in the intersection, blocking traffic both ways. As it turns out there was some sort of bike event or something and they were turning onto the main road, meaning all of us in cars who drive on roads like normal human beings had to stop and wait for all these freaks to make their turn on the route.
The wrongness of it all really struck me as I was waiting there for a good 2-3 minutes. Since when do bikes get a right of way? If people want to ride bicycles on roads they ought to: A. Attach a motor to the bike or buy/ride a motorcycle instead - seriously, no one is impressed by your silly little bicycle and B. Have to compete with and dodge/evade traffic in a survival of the fittest scenario like other animals (like deer) must do in the road.
This is simple Newtonian physics. My vehicle has more mass and acceleration than your bicycle. Therefore I win. The laws of the universe say that car/truck > bicycle every time they exchange forces in a collision.
No I don't seriously want to run over these people myself. That would be expensive, I have a pretty nice car, and I don't want to be arrested. But I do want to encourage other people with older vehicles to run them down at their convenience. You don't have to make a mission of it. Just if you happen to see a pack or gaggle or whatever the hell a group of them is called, take a little swerve to the right (or left in some countries).
Once they're down, maybe tear off the speedo and hang it like a flag on your antenna, kind of like the Jolly Roger. |
Zagam
Incompertus INC Fatal Ascension
177
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Posted - 2011.10.14 17:38:00 -
[2] - Quote
You were abused/deprived/dropped on your head as a child, weren't you?
1/10 for trolling, the point is for originality. |
KaarBaak
86
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Posted - 2011.10.14 17:44:00 -
[3] - Quote
My guess...it went something like this:
OPs friends: Don't you know how to ride a bike? OP: of course I do. My dad taught me when I was four years old. Friend: Prove it.
OP starts taking off his clothes.
Friend: Uh...wtf are you doing?? OP: This is how my daddy taught me. Friends: Dude...
OP calls dad in prison to ask 'wtf' then goes to bedroom and logs into EvE Forums.
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Myfanwy Heimdal
Heimdal Freight and Manufacture Inc
6
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Posted - 2011.10.14 18:09:00 -
[4] - Quote
It is the whole two and three minutes that the OP had to wait which amused me.
Yes, i do use a bicycle. Makes sense going to/from the pub and, not only that, in summer when the grockles flock to the local area it's the fastest way to get into town, shop and get out again. And, yes, I can get over a dozen bottles of wine in my back pack and panniers. |
Alara IonStorm
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
0
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Posted - 2011.10.14 18:19:00 -
[5] - Quote
KaarBaak wrote:My guess...it went something like this:
OPs friends: Don't you know how to ride a bike? OP: of course I do. My dad taught me when I was four years old. Friend: Prove it.
OP starts taking off his clothes.
Friend: Uh...wtf are you doing?? OP: This is how my daddy taught me. Friends: Dude...
OP calls dad in prison to ask 'wtf' then goes to bedroom and logs into EvE Forums.
Bolded the parts that I do not understand??? |
stoicfaux
283
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Posted - 2011.10.14 19:04:00 -
[6] - Quote
Note to Self: Don't put Jada Maroo in charge of issuing Parade Permits.
Tinfoil. It should be at the top of everyone's food pyramid.
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Jada Maroo
Mysterium Astrometrics BRABODEN
245
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Posted - 2011.10.14 19:20:00 -
[7] - Quote
stoicfaux wrote:Note to Self: Don't put Jada Maroo in charge of issuing Parade Permits.
Oh, that's another thing that happened to me just last month.
Close to where I live there are some railroad tracks atop a small hill and you can't see what's on the other side until you go over the hump. So I didn't know what I was about to drive into. Sure enough I drive over the tracks and to my horror - a ******* parade.
Thankfully it wasn't one of those rodeo parades with perma-crapping horses they sometimes have around here but it still blocked traffic. But it wasn't the parade that really annoyed me that time. It was a Cub Scouts. The little twerps were being pulled along on the back of a fire truck throwing candy. Several pieces hit my car. They didn't do any damage, of course, but it's the principle of it.
You don't just throw stuff you think may hit a car. I don't care if you're not trying to hit the car. If you're too puny to throw over the road, or if you're just going to fling it aimlessly like a chimpanzee with a piece of poo, then do me a favor and just hand it over to the fat Cub Scout kid to eat instead. |
Zagam
Incompertus INC Fatal Ascension
178
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Posted - 2011.10.14 19:24:00 -
[8] - Quote
Dude. Seriously. Relax.
Go drink a few beers with your friends. Go get laid. Go fap in the corner of your room crying. Just freakin RELAX. |
leviticus ander
FMOFMC
0
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Posted - 2011.10.14 19:28:00 -
[9] - Quote
Myfanwy Heimdal wrote:It is the whole two and three minutes that the OP had to wait which amused me.
Yes, i do use a bicycle. Makes sense going to/from the pub and, not only that, in summer when the grockles flock to the local area it's the fastest way to get into town, shop and get out again. And, yes, I can get over a dozen bottles of wine in my back pack and panniers.
same here. I can use back routes, there are bike paths everywhere around where I live, and I can bike just about anywhere downtown and I can quite often actually do that faster than people in a car can.
and as to the
Quote:This is simple Newtonian physics. My vehicle has more mass and acceleration than your bicycle. Therefore I win. The laws of the universe say that car/truck > bicycle every time they exchange forces in a collision.
I've actually been hit a few times (all of them while I was in a cross walk) and every time I've come out on top. worse that has happened to me was I broke a pedal on my bike. I have taken out headlights, bumpers, and grills. so you may have mass on our side, but I have flexibility on my side, and lots of poky bits. oh, and I'm not one of those spandex wearing people, I actually hate those people. I really don't need to see every curve and bump on their body. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
7
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Posted - 2011.10.14 20:19:00 -
[10] - Quote
FYI chimpanzees are actually pretty accurate while flinging crap |
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Slade Trillgon
Endless Possibilities Inc.
31
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Posted - 2011.10.14 21:26:00 -
[11] - Quote
I have a special little place in my dark heart for my hatred of bicyclists, but to play devils advocate, bicycles are considered motor vehicles by law and in most places you are actually prohibited from riding them on sidewalks. Smart localities provide bike lanes, but unfortunately most localities are not smart.
Also, many localitites block off roads for any number of reasons from parades to motor car races, so nothing new here.
Sade
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Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
50
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Posted - 2011.10.14 22:10:00 -
[12] - Quote
Kinda sad how demographics - and possibly politics - get worked into vehicle choice and exercise.
Don't like it much.
You are either a spandex-wearing granola-munching welfaremongering liberal democrat on a bike or a big fat burger-eating warmongering conservative in an SUV.
I'd ride a bike if I felt the need but I prefer to run 6 miles every other day. I like burgers too, and Subarus are nice cars but would prefer an SUV since I use an old diesel Mercedes to get around anyway. I won't touch a burger that didn't come from the food co-op I get my food at - yes I said Co-op and I open carry my gun there too and even the women with the hairy armpits aren't bothered by that.
Once I got stopped by a cop during my 6 mile run in the backroads. I was wearing a sweatshirt, plain running shoes, and army BDU pants desert camo. Got stopped because I didn't look like someone who was out for exercise.
Good thing I didn't wear my old combat boots too then?
So I gotta wear spandex and look like a stupid yuppie from Seattle or not exercise at all and be a big fat neocon instead in order to be left alone?
I would like to wish there was a place for people like me, but I am afraid that both sides of the unitary power bloc that runs things and pretends to be against each other already has a place for me - complete with towers and dogs. |
RubenX
The Drifters
1
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Posted - 2011.10.14 22:32:00 -
[13] - Quote
Cyclist here... you don't know what you are missing. And since Einstein did it, it's geeky too. Get a road bike and take that lane!
PS: About the bicycle specific pants... word of caution: The acceptance of men in lycra decreases exponentially with distance from the bike. |
Obsidian Dagger
Nitrus Nine
0
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Posted - 2011.10.15 01:24:00 -
[14] - Quote
I cycle. Usually in jeans and fleecy because Scotland is too frakking cold for lycra as far as I'm concerned.
I got hit by a taxi once. Smashed his windscreen, I rolled off and walked away. Been sideswiped a couple times, by people like the OP. I have steel pedals, left some nice long grooves down the paint on more than one car.
I prefer off road cycling really, but expediency means I use the roads a lot. Something to be said for buying a vehicle I can fully maintain myself at home, with no tax or fuel costs, and is in most cities nowadays, just as quick - if not QUICKER - at getting around on as a car.
If I need to go further afield than 20 miles or so, I get the train or bus.
Whats the price of gasoline nowadays? I really don't know, I don't use the stuff. Road tax? Maintenance? MOT?
TL:DR OP is jealous. |
leviticus ander
FMOFMC
0
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Posted - 2011.10.15 01:38:00 -
[15] - Quote
Obsidian Dagger wrote:I cycle. Usually in jeans and fleecy because Scotland is too frakking cold for lycra as far as I'm concerned.
kind of similar here. not so much the cold since I don't notice the cold. but because, one, I hate spandex, two, I wear this to school so I need something functional to hold my wallet, cell, keys, things like that, and three, I really hate spandex. and as to the damaging jackasses vehicles, my shoulder took off a rear view mirror on my way home from school today. they were using the bike lane as a turning lane and apparently didn't see my headlight, or me, or my bike. a bit sore, but well worth it since they are out a rear view mirror on what looked like a fairly new car. |
Vicker Lahn'se
STRAG3S THE UNTHINKABLES
5
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Posted - 2011.10.15 01:53:00 -
[16] - Quote
The irony here is that you wouldn't have had to wait if you were on a bike. |
Sir Substance
Tactical Knightmare
55
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Posted - 2011.10.15 07:15:00 -
[17] - Quote
Slade Trillgon wrote:I have a special little place in my dark heart for my hatred of bicyclists, but to play devils advocate, bicycles are considered motor vehicles by law and in most places you are actually prohibited from riding them on sidewalks.
Which is pants on head ******** for two reasons:
1. Bicycles don't have motors. Those are called motorbikes, they are considerably better modes of transport then bicycles. 2. Cyclists do less damage to pedestrians then cars do to cyclists |
BLACK-STAR
155
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Posted - 2011.10.15 07:33:00 -
[18] - Quote
OP, you honestly sound like an impatient ass-hole. and those kind of women drivers that cut across lanes or neither yield.
stop nagging [img]http://www.imgbox.de/users/S7AR/star.png[/img] |
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
11
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Posted - 2011.10.15 09:00:00 -
[19] - Quote
I hate the transportation situation leaning so hard towards cars.
It's funny to me, to see people talk about the early pioneers and their hardships. Today we have GPS, sure, but try walking the continent. Every major road is completely illegal to cross on foot, not to mention dangerous. Every state line is paperwork for anything you carry. Every park has hours or restrictions. Every area of open land is grounds for someone to shoot you for trespassing. Kill animals for food? Drink water from a river? LOL
Our technology to make our lives better does not stack up against our nature to make eachother's lives worse.
How many times have you sat in traffic thinking someone walking or on a bike is 'getting there' better than you are? Bad news, friend-o: A car with one person in it, or a motorcycle, is our upgrade from a HORSE which runs faster than a bike or person while it carries more. |
Astenion
Spiritus Draconis
15
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Posted - 2011.10.15 11:40:00 -
[20] - Quote
OP has the right idea. I can't speak for the rest of Europe but in Italy bicyclists act like they own the road. They've created bike paths alongside the road for them, but that's not good enough so they ride on the road anyway. It's always said spandex-wearing tools as well.
Fortunately, they've begun new laws stating that if you're caught riding on the road when there's a bike path for you, you'll be fined. Finally. |
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Darteis Elosia
PHOENIX 2ND C.A.G.
1
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Posted - 2011.10.15 11:55:00 -
[21] - Quote
Dear OP, **** you. Get a hobby of your own and gain understanding of others who have a hobby. Again, **** you. |
Jada Maroo
Mysterium Astrometrics BRABODEN
249
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Posted - 2011.10.15 11:58:00 -
[22] - Quote
My favorite thing so far in this thread is how Spitfire editted the original post. It tells me one of two things:
1. someone actually flagged it, he read it, agreed with the overall sentiment that speedo wearing freaks on bikes are horrible people and editted it so that he wouldn't have to close the thread, which is hilarious
or 2. he thought I was serious in my suggestion that people with older vehicles should take it for the team and run over people on bikes wearing lycra and hang their speedos on their antennas as trophies, which is equally hilarious
I'm gonna choose to believe the first one because I have noticed on other forums and in other venues that this particular group (lycra wearing bicycle riders) are wonderfully sensitive to criticism, are full of arrogance, possess an obnoxious sense of entitlement (to roads), and are, in general, vile but hilarious when provoked.
When you point out that they don't belong on roads they fume and turn into what I can only describe as an impossible hybrid of a steaming teapot, a yuppie, a hippie, and a small angry terrier. |
leviticus ander
FMOFMC
0
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Posted - 2011.10.15 12:03:00 -
[23] - Quote
Astenion wrote:OP has the right idea. I can't speak for the rest of Europe but in Italy bicyclists act like they own the road. They've created bike paths alongside the road for them, but that's not good enough so they ride on the road anyway. It's always said spandex-wearing tools as well.
Fortunately, they've begun new laws stating that if you're caught riding on the road when there's a bike path for you, you'll be fined. Finally. even as a cyclist I hate people who do that. sitting in the middle of the road waiting for the lights. and because they are on a bike they get 2-3 car lengths behind them. this then adds up and because the turn lane is only so long the cars end up lining up even more in the actual lanes, slowing traffic, and generally causing congestion. I've seen an entire road stop from a single cyclist not wanting to push it meaning that the main lanes get blocked, meaning more and more people just pile up behind them. meanwhile there are bike lanes, cross walks, well kept traffic signals, and all this stuff that is designed to help everyone get around faster and these jackasses just break it all because they figure they should be riding on the road. |
Jada Maroo
Mysterium Astrometrics BRABODEN
249
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Posted - 2011.10.15 12:16:00 -
[24] - Quote
People who ride offroad bikes are fine. I have a trail bike myself. Bikes are superior on trails, after all, and cars don't belong on trails. The only things that belong on trails are bikes, motorcycles, four wheelers, rapists, dead bodies (to the side), and Mexicans.
People who "hike" -- I don't trust those people. I've never met a normal person who hikes. The common nexus between "hikers" and their lycra wearing brethren on roads seems to be Whole Foods. |
Alara IonStorm
Caldari State
2
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Posted - 2011.10.15 12:21:00 -
[25] - Quote
Every time Jada opens her mouth a Stereotype falls out.
Then she states why and how it deserves to be killed.
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Jada Maroo
Mysterium Astrometrics BRABODEN
249
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Posted - 2011.10.15 12:23:00 -
[26] - Quote
I also don't like people who grocery shop with canvas bags (hemp based of course). |
Alara IonStorm
Caldari State
2
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Posted - 2011.10.15 12:25:00 -
[27] - Quote
Jada Maroo wrote:I also don't like people who grocery shop with canvas bags (hemp based of course). No one likes them, but we are polite about it.
Show some pity.
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Sir Substance
Tactical Knightmare
55
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Posted - 2011.10.15 12:33:00 -
[28] - Quote
Darteis Elosia wrote:Dear OP, **** you. Get a hobby of your own and gain understanding of others who have a hobby. Again, **** you. Dear Darteis, please understand that people don't like it when you engage in hobbies with reckless abandon, knowing that if you cause accidents, other people will be the ones who get punished.
For example, most people would consider it poor taste if your hobby was setting off poorly constructed fireworks from the backyards of people other then yourself and then hiding when the police come, and would probably tell you to stop it. |
SpaceSquirrels
Scordite Excavating Xenaphobe
8
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Posted - 2011.10.15 12:58:00 -
[29] - Quote
Hmm most cyclists I know are actually a bunch of rich conservative doctor/professional types. Also law states having to share the road. Meaning cars and bikes are equal. (unless it's a highway I believe because of minimum speed) .
What I found weird is that in most states riding a bike on the sidewalk is actually illegal. So they dont really have the option. I will say in certain places/roads where there really is no shoulder and the speed limit is 45+ (and lots of traffic) you dont really belong there as that's just a stupid place to ride.
I do know a few cyclists here that have gotten off their bikes and thrown down with cars that purposely tried to **** with them when they got to the next stop light. (Really funny stories actually. Who wants to admit they got their ass kicked by a guy in a helmet and tights.) |
Nephilius
Pillage and Plunder Salvage Co.
7
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Posted - 2011.10.15 13:49:00 -
[30] - Quote
KaarBaak wrote:My guess...it went something like this:
OPs friends: Don't you know how to ride a bike? OP: of course I do. My dad taught me when I was four years old. Friend: Prove it.
OP starts taking off his clothes.
Friend: Uh...wtf are you doing?? OP: This is how my daddy taught me. Friends: Dude...
OP calls dad in prison to ask 'wtf' then goes to bedroom and logs into EvE Forums.
You win. No seriously, I think I just peed a little as I fell out of my chair laughing. The door behind the toon you spin contains the secrets behind life, the universe and everything. |
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