Rayzilla Zaraki
Tandokuno
44
|
Posted - 2013.05.30 00:03:00 -
[1] - Quote
Are you tired of coming across expensive Exhumers and Orcas sitting there wallowing in space like a bunch of Hippos while you are absolutely positive their pilots are distracted by the latest skin flicks?
We here at Zaraki Industries feel your pain.
Our mad scientists have been working around the clock combining a plethora of technologies into one small yet explosive package.
That's right, the Zaraki PWN Drone is now available to the discerning ganker.
What is it? How does it work?
Our PWN Drones are a Frankenstein's monster of deadly (and hated) technologies. First, we take your normal drone - Hobgoblin, Warrior...whatever...and we jam a micro cloak into it. We found because of it's extremely small size, it can get as close as 50m from another object before being forced to decloak. That alone is worth the price of admission, folks!
Next, we take a full size (yes...FULL SIZE folks!) Smart Bomb and shoehorn that puppy right into this little beauty.
I know you can see where I am going with this. Keep reading. It gets better.
Finally, we top it all off by using some duct tape and bailing wire to integrate the guidance interface from a deep space probe (there are a lot of these sitting in junk yards and will be even more after June 4). This nifty little trick allows you to place your PWN Drones around your target for maximum effect. Once you have them properly placed (while sitting in your cloaky ship, of course), your PWN Drones move into position. If the target moves, their advanced tracking systems move the PWN Drones with it.
At this point, you have two choices, both of them fun as all heck.
1 - The traditional: Flip the trigger and WTF-BOOOOOOM! He never knows what hit him.
2 - The Zaraki Pop: Use the warp signature detection feature Zaraki Industries developed specifically for this product. Place your drones and wait until the right time then decloak your ship. This works especially well if you're red. The poor hippo will see you, panic and activate his warp to get to safety. Too bad for him! Warp signature = WTF-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Control range is limited - about 20km, but that's OK because you WANT to see the look on their corpsicle's face!
Fun for the whole family! Supplies are limited. Operators are standing by.
Cannot ship to the tiny republic of Togo because we don't like them.
Zaraki Industries not responsible for any actions taken by CONCORD due to the use of these product.
Gank responsibly. If nothing blew up, no one would buy your stuff. |