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Jayem See
Biohazard.
412
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Posted - 2013.07.05 19:55:00 -
[1] - Quote
I am a big fan of terrible jokes.
I love something that is so cringe-worthy it makes me laugh, in spite of myself.
I'll start off with one that has tickled me since I was about 8 years old.
Q What do you call a deer with no eyes? A No idea (no eyed-deer keep up)
Q What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A Still no idea
And as a bonus "I" related crapfest:
Q What do you call a fish with no eyes? A A fsh
Post away - the more cringe-worthy, the more I will enjoy it! Aaaaaaand relax. |
Adunh Slavy
1109
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Posted - 2013.07.05 20:11:00 -
[2] - Quote
Q: What did the Chinese chicken say to the German cow? A: I have no idea, I don't speak Chinese.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from you.
A blind guy walks into a bar, ow.
A beer walks into a bar and gets drunk.
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop (Actually like that one) Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.-á-á- William Pitt |
Jayem See
Biohazard.
412
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Posted - 2013.07.05 20:18:00 -
[3] - Quote
Adunh Slavy wrote:
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop (Actually like that one)
Read 3 times - finally got it =)
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Doug. Aaaaaaand relax. |
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
1303
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Posted - 2013.07.05 20:20:00 -
[4] - Quote
Sorry, I do know some of those, but they're in Spanish.
Probably my favorite one in its utter derangedness is this one:
-+Qu+¬ animal tiene un nombre con 4 +¦es?
El cucudrulu.
-+Y con 5 +¦es?
Uncucudrulu.
-+Y con 6 +¦es?
Utrucucudrulu.
-+Y con 7 +¦es?
Utrucucudrulumus.
Cucudrulu = cocodrilo = crocodile. Then it gets much worse, up to the 7th "u".
CCP Unifex: -á"lurking single players (...)-áare the majority of characters on Tranquility"
...And so now we know why CCP hasn't done anything for soloers since Apochrypha. |
Jayem See
Biohazard.
412
|
Posted - 2013.07.05 20:24:00 -
[5] - Quote
I tried a translate on that and the results made me laugh plenty! Aaaaaaand relax. |
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
1277
|
Posted - 2013.07.05 20:47:00 -
[6] - Quote
A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
There was a guy with a wooden eye and a girl with buck teeth. Neither one could ever get a date. One day the guy asked the girl, "Would you like to go on a date?" She said "Would I!" He answered, "Buck teeth buck teeth!"
Guy went to a psychiatrist's office. "Doctor, I think I'm losing my mind. I keep having Freudian slips." Doctor: "Can you give me an example?" Guy: "Well, the other night I meant to say to my mother-in-law, 'Would you pass the butter?' But instead I said, 'You ruined my life, you stupid cow!'
There's been a bomb threat at the alphabet soup factor. Police say if it goes off, it could spell disaster. |
Jayem See
Biohazard.
420
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Posted - 2013.07.05 20:58:00 -
[7] - Quote
Khergit Deserters wrote:
There was a guy with a wooden eye and a girl with buck teeth. Neither one could ever get a date. One day the guy asked the girl, "Would you like to go on a date?" She said "Would I!" He answered, "Buck teeth buck teeth!"
I did giggle - particularly at this one! Perfection.
Am going to preface this one with a "hope I don't get banned" and "It's just a joke chill out."
What do you call a Muslim with a pig on his head? Hamed
What do you call a Muslim with two pigs on his head? Mo'hamed.
Opens the door for Hambush.... Aaaaaaand relax. |
Kirjava
Lothian Enterprises
23766
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Posted - 2013.07.05 21:10:00 -
[8] - Quote
A Scotsman, an Irishman and a Welshman walk into a pub.
Whats this a bloody joke? Says the Landlord.
Haruhiists - Overloading Out of Pod discussions since 2007. /S¦¦GùòGÇ+GÇ+GùòS¦¦\ Unban Saede! |
Jayem See
Biohazard.
421
|
Posted - 2013.07.05 21:18:00 -
[9] - Quote
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff
What goes red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black. Sun-burned penguin rolling down a hill. Aaaaaaand relax. |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
4905
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Posted - 2013.07.05 22:47:00 -
[10] - Quote
Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
One muffin looks at the other and says "is it hot in here?"
The other muffin looks at him with surprise "HOLY ****!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
*************************************
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One looks at the other and asks "Does this taste funny to you?" Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
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Jayem See
Biohazard.
424
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Posted - 2013.07.05 22:56:00 -
[11] - Quote
What is brown and sticky?
A stick. Aaaaaaand relax. |
Indahmawar Fazmarai
2517
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Posted - 2013.07.06 07:16:00 -
[12] - Quote
Can't believe Ish shied up to share her (in)famous bang-bang jokes.
Hey gringo, what is your name? My name is Joe. Bang-bang! It WAS Joe, gringo, it WAS...
Hey gringo, how much you weight? 150 pounds. Bang-bang! And two ounces, gringo...
Hey gringo, do you bang-bang? Bang-bang? Bang-bang! Bang-bang, gringo...
Well, on second thought... maybe she was right... The Greater Fool Bar-áis now open for business, 24/7. Come and have drinks and fun somewhere between RL and New Eden!-áIngame chat channel: The Greater Fool Bar |
jason hill
The Riot Formation Unclaimed.
306
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Posted - 2013.07.06 11:21:00 -
[13] - Quote
what do you call a bloke with no arms or legs in the sea...BOB |
jason hill
The Riot Formation Unclaimed.
306
|
Posted - 2013.07.06 12:28:00 -
[14] - Quote
what do u call a girl standing between two tall posts.....ANNETTE |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
14101
|
Posted - 2013.07.06 14:34:00 -
[15] - Quote
Enter Bad Joke Eel! "Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff-á
Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?-á http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny |
jason hill
The Riot Formation Unclaimed.
306
|
Posted - 2013.07.06 16:44:00 -
[16] - Quote
whats black and white and read all over ...................... a newspaper......owww gawd this is really getting bloody bad |
Stegas Tyrano
GLU CANU Open Space Consultancy
534
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Posted - 2013.07.06 18:46:00 -
[17] - Quote
Why did the boy fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a fridge at him. Herping your derp since 19Potato --á[Proposal] - Ingame Visual Adverts |
jason hill
The Riot Formation Unclaimed.
306
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Posted - 2013.07.06 18:56:00 -
[18] - Quote
that was really crap |
Indahmawar Fazmarai
2517
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Posted - 2013.07.06 19:12:00 -
[19] - Quote
What does a guy sliding downhill on a flaming piano?
Dunno, hang me if I know. The Greater Fool Bar-áis now open for business, 24/7. Come and have drinks and fun somewhere between RL and New Eden!-áIngame chat channel: The Greater Fool Bar |
jason hill
The Riot Formation Unclaimed.
306
|
Posted - 2013.07.06 19:14:00 -
[20] - Quote
errrm..im trying to work that one out ?. |
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Indahmawar Fazmarai
2518
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Posted - 2013.07.06 19:25:00 -
[21] - Quote
jason hill wrote:errrm..im trying to work that one out ?.
I feel your pain, my rubbish-o-meter just exploded after typing it. The Greater Fool Bar-áis now open for business, 24/7. Come and have drinks and fun somewhere between RL and New Eden!-áIngame chat channel: The Greater Fool Bar |
jason hill
The Riot Formation Unclaimed.
306
|
Posted - 2013.07.06 19:41:00 -
[22] - Quote
whatcha call a bloke standing between two tall buildings ..alley |
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
1304
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Posted - 2013.07.06 22:16:00 -
[23] - Quote
- It doesn't walks like a duck, doesn't swims like a duck and doesn't quacks like a duck. What is it? - A stuffed duck? - Damn, you got me! CCP Unifex: -á"lurking single players (...)-áare the majority of characters on Tranquility"
...And so now we know why CCP hasn't done anything for soloers since Apochrypha. |
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
1304
|
Posted - 2013.07.06 22:21:00 -
[24] - Quote
Common Al never got to grow chicks, but he couldn't decide wether he didn't water them enough or just was planting them upside down. CCP Unifex: -á"lurking single players (...)-áare the majority of characters on Tranquility"
...And so now we know why CCP hasn't done anything for soloers since Apochrypha. |
Lysanne Reqetta
The Scope Gallente Federation
314
|
Posted - 2013.07.06 23:52:00 -
[25] - Quote
Stegas Tyrano wrote:Why did the boy fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a fridge at him. I can see your avatar saying that. It just really, really fits. Deadpan.
Okay, let's see...
What do you call a fly with no legs? - A walk.
What did the girl say to the Gallente shipwright? - Is that a Thorax you're building, or are you just happy to see me?
Knock knock. - Who's there? Gonagi. - Gonagi who? *singing* Never gonagive you up, never gonalet you down...
Edit: Disappointingly could not think of any jokes about rubbish. Blatant alt posting? In my EVE?
It's more likely than you think. |
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
513
|
Posted - 2013.07.07 00:28:00 -
[26] - Quote
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pit? ...Phil
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs between two hamburger buns? ...Patty
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on the porch? ...Matt
What do you call a girl buried up to her neck at the beach? ...Sandy |
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
513
|
Posted - 2013.07.07 00:32:00 -
[27] - Quote
What do you call a video of pedestrians? Footage |
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
513
|
Posted - 2013.07.07 00:33:00 -
[28] - Quote
Why do fish live in saltwater? Pepper makes them sneeze.
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Jayem See
Biohazard.
455
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Posted - 2013.07.07 00:42:00 -
[29] - Quote
Stegas Tyrano wrote:Why did the boy fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a fridge at him.
I had to laugh at that!
What's green and goes round and round and round and round?
Frog in a blender. Aaaaaaand relax. |
Hessian Arcturus
S.W.O.R.D. Navy
219
|
Posted - 2013.07.07 01:20:00 -
[30] - Quote
Jayem See wrote:What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
Whats pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! (Cant believe that heap of crap joke hasnt made it on here yet!!) It's human nature to want to explore. To find your line and go beyond it. The only limit, is the one you set yourself. |
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