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Ava Starfire
Stormcrows
1265
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Posted - 2013.11.06 12:14:00 -
[1] - Quote
As i sit here and recount my life in slavery, my hand is drawn to touch the little heart shaped lock on the collar I once wore - must have a collar to be a proper slave, after all! - and I eat my Amarrian Infant Crunch with my glass of Revenege Served Cold on the side, I cannot help but wonder; what to do, to get more Minmatar cred?
I slither into my skin tight latex "clothing" - you see, it has a whole 301 cm^2 of coverage! - and remember the day I killed my holder, his family, his guards, his iguana "Steve", all of the goldfish in his aquarium, his neighbors, his mechanic, his mechanic's girlfriend's niece's poodle "Foo-foo" and all of his houseplants. Ah, to taste free air, to have my revenge! I licked the blood - it was up to my knees, you see - and thought "Revenge!" NO ONE CAN KNOW MY SUFFERING!!!!
I fled to the depths of nullsec - the other Minmatar were mean to me, they persecuted me! All i did was continually wax poetic about how delightful sexual slavery and exploitation was, and play with my jar of severed fingers! I do not deserve such treatment! Angst and woe! Clearly, the *only* way to prove that one is a TRUE member of a collectivist, structured social group is to go against all of its norms, strike out on your own, and condemn everything about them! This proves that the most "Caldari" of Caldari, for instance, are in fact - the GALLENTE!
As I have "Only God Can Judge Me" inked on my back by a tattoo artist named Bob Slaverkiller, right above my Tramp Stamp Voluval, I know, inside, that what I am doing is best for the Minmatar people! I have to blow up that school bus filled with gifted children on their way to a violin camp for the summer, this will show the Amarr! if only I could feel their touch again...
...to be free, what does this mean? Can i deserve this? I must have the firm hand of my master, directing me, my life, controlling all of me. I cant be free, I am far too naughty! I must be punished, master!
Ahem.
Yeah, I dont think that will work. |
Andreus Ixiris
Duty. The Cursed Few
3681
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Posted - 2013.11.06 12:16:00 -
[2] - Quote
This story had such an edge that was so sharp I almost cut open the veins of my wrist and slowly and painfully bled to death while reflecting on all the miseries my life has produced.
But fortunately I didn't. |
Ava Starfire
Stormcrows
1265
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Posted - 2013.11.06 12:17:00 -
[3] - Quote
Andreus Ixiris wrote:This story had such an edge that was so sharp I almost cut open the veins of my wrist and slowly and painfully bled to death while reflecting on all the miseries my life has produced.
But fortunately I didn't.
While listening to doom metal, I bet! |
Katrina Oniseki
Revenent Defence Corperation Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
2384
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Posted - 2013.11.06 12:19:00 -
[4] - Quote
I need an executive. |
Andreus Ixiris
Duty. The Cursed Few
3683
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Posted - 2013.11.06 12:40:00 -
[5] - Quote
Ava Starfire wrote:While listening to doom metal, I bet! Doom metal is far too upbeat for the impenetrable darkness that lives within my soul.
I listen exclusively to Brutor ghetto'n'bass hip-step. |
Caellach Marellus
Aideron Technologies
1315
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Posted - 2013.11.06 12:42:00 -
[6] - Quote
I spent so long laughing after reading this, I forgot to polish the hull of my Kronos.
It has now rusted.
This story doesn't just promote Matariness, it forces itself onto you, and your ships whether you want it or not. |
Graelyn
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
513
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Posted - 2013.11.06 13:06:00 -
[7] - Quote
I'm sure if I shake my fist at you in an appropriately enraged manner, this cred you seek will shower from the skies in a fine mist. |
Laurentis Thiesant
Institute of Social Development
42
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Posted - 2013.11.06 13:08:00 -
[8] - Quote
*dons transparent clothing and facial adornments*
Why do you all hate freedom? |
Anslo
The Scope Gallente Federation
3061
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Posted - 2013.11.06 14:18:00 -
[9] - Quote
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, MATARIIIIII KNOW NOOOOT MY FEEEEEEEEEEEELS |
Rana Ash
Gradient Electus Matari
280
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Posted - 2013.11.06 14:19:00 -
[10] - Quote
At first i was "WTF Ava" and then i came to the end and laughed.
Now a proper Matariness must involve a rusty blade, or coverd in dried blood of the slavers they have killed |
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Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
215
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Posted - 2013.11.06 15:35:00 -
[11] - Quote
In all seriousness, why would you care what whoever prompted this say or feel? With the size of the cluster, there'll always be someone who considers or others to be a No True Amarrianman, or however they put it. If you're certain of your own identity, it shouldn't matter more than when I'm told I'm not Civire enough for them.
On the other hand, there seems to be a rather huge amount of Minmatar rather derogatorily portrayed by you, as if they're to be considered less than you and your presented identity. I guess speaking ill of someone's person is okay if they're not named. |
Makoto Priano
Priano Trans-Stellar State Services Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
5412
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Posted - 2013.11.06 16:50:00 -
[12] - Quote
Oh, well-- let's see. If I have my hair done up in dreadlocks, wear leather and rusted scrap, and then growl, "I seethe with generic rage," do I get the Brutor prize? |
Caellach Marellus
Aideron Technologies
1323
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Posted - 2013.11.06 17:28:00 -
[13] - Quote
Makoto Priano wrote:Oh, well-- let's see. If I have my hair done up in dreadlocks, wear leather and rusted scrap, and then growl, "I seethe with generic rage," do I get the Brutor prize?
Needs sunglasses. |
Makkal Hanaya
Revenent Defence Corperation
904
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Posted - 2013.11.06 18:00:00 -
[14] - Quote
Someone needs to do this for the other factions. |
Jude Kopenhagen
Stormcrows
14
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Posted - 2013.11.06 19:26:00 -
[15] - Quote
Too long has the cluster been without a healthy dose of sass.
Evanda Char would have been proud. |
Ava Starfire
Stormcrows
1275
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Posted - 2013.11.06 21:40:00 -
[16] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:In all seriousness, why would you care what whoever prompted this say or feel? With the size of the cluster, there'll always be someone who considers or others to be a No True Amarrianman, or however they put it. If you're certain of your own identity, it shouldn't matter more than when I'm told I'm not Civire enough for them.
On the other hand, there seems to be a rather huge amount of Minmatar rather derogatorily portrayed by you, as if they're to be considered less than you and your presented identity. I guess speaking ill of someone's person is okay if they're not named.
It is known as "humor". |
Ava Starfire
Stormcrows
1276
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Posted - 2013.11.06 21:48:00 -
[17] - Quote
Jude Kopenhagen wrote:Too long has the cluster been without a healthy dose of sass.
Evanda Char would have been proud.
A compliment the likes of which I could have scarcely expected, and even more scarcely feel I deserve. I just hope that from all the snark and snerk and snickering, that the stupidity of certain kinds of stereotypical expectations will become evident.
All in fun, folks. |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
216
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Posted - 2013.11.06 21:52:00 -
[18] - Quote
Never heard of this "humor" thing. Clearly a Federation propaganda tool or something equally nefarious.
Just saying, it's very easy to say it's a joke, while cutting huge swathes of demographics off at the knee. |
Erys Charantes
University of Caille Gallente Federation
33
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Posted - 2013.11.06 22:07:00 -
[19] - Quote
Ava, Ava, Ava... You sassy thing you. Consider yourself adored for this. I can hear the teeth grinding and ego's bursting already. |
Constantin Baracca
196
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Posted - 2013.11.06 22:56:00 -
[20] - Quote
You know what will cure you of your dangerously derogatory sense of humor, Ava?
Threshing wheat.
You can do that while I ponder the great mysteries of the ceiling from my chaise lounge. |
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Arnulf Ogunkoya
Gradient Electus Matari
28
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Posted - 2013.11.06 23:39:00 -
[21] - Quote
Someone thinks that Avl+ªnkaa Surionen isn't Minmatar enough?
Evidently someone needs a bit more practice at thinking, or a hard kick to the behind delivered by a suitably pointy-toed, steel-capped boot.
|
James Syagrius
The Philalethes Society
588
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Posted - 2013.11.07 00:54:00 -
[22] - Quote
Knowing of you, but no knowing you, I was confused as I read.
Then I laughed, no seriously, I really did. |
Mebrithiel Ju'wien
True Slave Foundations Shaktipat Revelators
38
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Posted - 2013.11.07 04:05:00 -
[23] - Quote
Rana Ash wrote:At first i was "WTF Ava" and then i came to the end and laughed.
Now a proper Matariness must involve a rusty blade, or coverd in dried blood of the slavers they have killed
Tried this; stil doesn't work. Not Matari enough despite all the blood... |
Isis Dea
State Protectorate Caldari State
310
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Posted - 2013.11.07 04:41:00 -
[24] - Quote
How incredibly mocking... |
Lyn Farel
Kitzless
632
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Posted - 2013.11.07 11:06:00 -
[25] - Quote
Are you sure you are speaking about Ava Surionen and not some random Shakorite ? |
Rana Ash
Gradient Electus Matari
281
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Posted - 2013.11.07 11:57:00 -
[26] - Quote
Mebrithiel Ju'wien wrote:Tried this; stil doesn't work. Not Matari enough despite all the blood...
Then you must be doing it wrong, try a bigger blade and see
|
Ava Starfire
Stormcrows
1280
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Posted - 2013.11.07 12:16:00 -
[27] - Quote
Meant in fun, Isis. The initial post is inspired by multiple people I have met AND by the cultural misunderstandings of outsiders.
Way to let the angst flow very naturally, though. Bonus points for blaming others for all your problems. |
Ayallah
Silver's Privateers Test Alliance Please Ignore
26
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Posted - 2013.11.07 12:39:00 -
[28] - Quote
I was born in the slums of Matar, my parents were taken into slavery when Arzad fell. I grew up in an orphanage donated by a capsuleer where I learned to fight. I was inspired by the Midular to join the Republic fleet when I was of age where I fought for the Republic and earned my angst and edge looking for my parents, looking at all the slaves I could not save.
It was then I was captured by the Amarrians. I was sold to a holder who was not kind but over time I came to cherish the times we would spend together in his bed. To this day, I love leather. I was beaten often though even though I found god and loved how much better I was living in the empire I one day killed everyone like I learned in the orphanage and escaped.
I returned to the Republic to find that the collar had changed my, to see the crimes of Shakor. I could not stand this travesty so I left in disgust., moving to the Federation ringing with me my learned Ideals about race and racism. I was prejudiced and I spread that wherever I went. I went back to the Republic after a time spent as a stripper to care for my new children and their father who was killed in war against the slavers to get a voluval because I thought they were super neat. I got the shaman/warrior/bittervet mark that looks like a skull with all these flames and stuff coming out of it.
It was there I became even more disgusted with Matar and Shakor. It was there I was in the battle of Colelie. I shouted in horror to stop the fighting but others who cared more about themselves than my new gallentean home affected the dreadnaught battle too much in their assault frigates. I could not stop them.
I retuned to the Federation, hating the Republic and Shakor (but with a new summer home on Matar) to find the seeds of racism I planted all those years ago had grown. I could not find work except as a prostitute or an assassin, so I spent my time doing those things.
It was then that I fled to the mandate, and the truth of god's will. I sit now happily at the side of my new holder with my collar of gold and I realize I loved it from the beginning. I had found god.
And YOU, heathen Ava Starfire you would see fit to mock me from your sheltered life! To judge me and the losses I have suffered! I hope you and your republic burn to the ground as is god's will. You do not have what it takes to be Matari and strong and you will never do more fro the Republic than I have!
But can you teach me to fly the Wolf better? GǪ.Link fit? |
Ava Starfire
Stormcrows
1282
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Posted - 2013.11.07 12:48:00 -
[29] - Quote
Lost it at "link fit"
I was giggling before that. But there, I just lost it. Howling, roaring laughter. |
Anslo
The Scope Gallente Federation
3074
|
Posted - 2013.11.07 14:57:00 -
[30] - Quote
Isis Dea wrote:Rabble rabble you know not my pain. Stay mad, friend. |
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