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Amelie deBroulliard
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Posted - 2006.03.24 05:02:00 -
[1]
Trouble in the cluster again, as the series of criminal acts increases over the past few weeks. The recent influx of pilots, not normally seen within stations might be attributed to this situation. The Khanid Kingdom has seen the rise of the Sanguine Legion, a group of Khanadian pilots who have dedicated themselves to indulging in the arcane rituals of the feared Blood Raiders who stalk the southern ass of the Amarr Empire in search of prey.
The Gallente Federation reported a mass increase of fashion crimes, as large, sweaty Jin-Mei crowded the markets with their giant fan-necked suits. They have also set up numerous pleasure-hubs and harems, enslaving many of their kin and Gallenteans to belong to these fine establishments. President Suero Foiritan was available for comment, commending these men for their fine work in advancing the work of the Federation.
With the recent influx of Matari into the Federation, the Republic has seen a sharp drop in employment, and crime citing Midular's recent "Baths for All" plan as helping the Freedom Fighters' cause all around the cluster, as well as raising basic hygiene standards.
The Caldari State has seen yet again dissidence, with the recently formed AchuraCorp taking the spotlight with their brash secessionist policies, it is unknown how the State will respond, but this reporter was assured by a Peace and Order unit guardsman patrolling the Saisio system that the dissidence would be stamped out.
Reporting for the Scope, this is A---
**Transmission ends as a pink, fluorescent nightstick swings towards the holoscreen**
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Graelyn
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Posted - 2006.03.24 05:08:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Graelyn on 24/03/2006 05:08:49
*cleans blood off nightstick and puts it away*
And that's the end of that! Damned Scope people....
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Aegis Militia Fleet Admiral/CEO - The Aeternus Crusade |
Etienne Beauvais
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Posted - 2006.03.24 05:34:00 -
[3]
Hohoho. Hohohohohohoooooo!
Etienne's ongoing laughter can be heard offscreen along with feminine screams coming from what sounds like the Scope reporter.
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Paul Atradiese
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Posted - 2006.03.24 11:22:00 -
[4]
Dear Amelie deBroulliard
My lawyer has instucted me to inform you that unless you pay 100isk to replace my boots that you damaged when you was violently headbutting them we will have no other option but to sue you
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Naoko Onamori
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Posted - 2006.03.24 12:11:00 -
[5]
AchuraCorp Official Press Response
Miss de Brouillard,
While your attention to detail is commendable, your accuracy leaves something to be desired. My organisation is not secessionist, and has categorically stated as such, nor would I ever describe ourselves as 'brash' in our presentation.
While of course any publicity is welcome, it is disturbing to me that you have been informed by a Peace and Order representative that we are be 'stamped out'. The result of a peaceful organisation being 'stamped out' by the military arm of the Sukuvestaa might be a little counter productive and leave us with little choice but secession, rather than the peaceful integration we seek currently.
If you are interested in reporting accurately on our cause, I suggest you contact me for an interview.
Naoko Onamori - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Leon 026
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Posted - 2006.03.24 14:30:00 -
[6]
Edited by: Leon 026 on 24/03/2006 14:29:39 I wonder what happened to that Scope reporter that was -supposed- to be reporting on the khanid invasion war.
Guess he got disposed of for poor media. -------------------------------
[20:05:51] Cyshade > Leon 026, making Crow BPO owners trillionaires since 29.08.2005
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Aleria Angelis
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Posted - 2006.03.24 14:43:00 -
[7]
*Gasp* The pink jump suit strikes again!
Congrats miss Broulliard on a lovely article and one once again raising the bar for Scope reporters everywhere. Keep them coming hun ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Aleria |
Alexis DeTocqueville
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Posted - 2006.03.24 17:43:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Alexis DeTocqueville on 24/03/2006 17:44:12 Does The Scope actually report the news anymore or just make **** up as it goes?
Originally by: Graelyn Edited by: Graelyn on 24/03/2006 05:08:49
*cleans blood off nightstick and puts it away*
And that's the end of that! Damned Scope people....
You carry a pink, fluorescent nightstick?
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Graelyn
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Posted - 2006.03.24 22:55:00 -
[9]
These robes hide a multitude of implements.
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Aegis Militia Fleet Admiral/CEO - The Aeternus Crusade |
Wanoah
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Posted - 2006.03.25 01:34:00 -
[10]
Quote: Does The Scope actually report the news anymore or just make **** up as it goes?
The latter I think. Concepts like integrity and objectivity are alien to these gutter dwelling attention-seekers.
Oh look! I said something completely subjective with no real hard evidence to back my claim up. Sound familiar?
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Alexis DeTocqueville
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Posted - 2006.03.25 01:46:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Wanoah
Oh look! I said something completely subjective with no real hard evidence to back my claim up. Sound familiar?
Yes, actually, it reminds me of The Rogues reasoning for declaring war on CAIN.
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Vendrin
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Posted - 2006.03.25 03:19:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Alexis DeTocqueville Edited by: Alexis DeTocqueville on 24/03/2006 17:44:12 Does The Scope actually report the news anymore or just make **** up as it goes?
Ever since I have been a pilot the Scope has never actually presented something newsworthy. _____________________________________
Need help in Caldari Space? Join channel CCDF to give or recieve it.
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Kyoko Sakoda
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Posted - 2006.03.25 03:21:00 -
[13]
I wonder which one of these are true.
That The Scope's reporters:
1) Do drugs 2) Do many drugs 3) Get flighty off of some odd transcranial chip binge (like their Senators do) 4) Have an impossibly low IQ 5) Are detached from reality because of the first four 6) Work night jobs as floozies 7) All of the above
Learn what it means to be Caldari - www.omertasyndicate.com |
Aleria Angelis
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Posted - 2006.03.25 03:31:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Aleria Angelis on 25/03/2006 03:34:28 *Rolls eyes* Not another one of these. Would you guys get over yourselves, you know you love it. If Etienne Beauvais running around in his pink jumpsuit Is'nt front page news then I dont know what is... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Aleria |
Xeran Van'Houten
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Posted - 2006.03.25 04:14:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Aleria Angelis Edited by: Aleria Angelis on 25/03/2006 04:00:24
*Rolls eyes* Not another one of these. Would you guys get over yourselves, you know you love it. If Etienne Beauvais running around in his pink jumpsuit isnĘt front page news then I donĘt know what is...
Good, the first step is always admitting your problem... now you need to quit the journalism field as fast as you can and give your life over to a Higher Power.
Star Adder Public channel - StarAdderHyperpulse |
Etienne Beauvais
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Posted - 2006.03.25 04:46:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Aleria Angelis Edited by: Aleria Angelis on 25/03/2006 04:00:24
*Rolls eyes* Not another one of these. Would you guys get over yourselves, you know you love it. If Etienne Beauvais running around in his pink jumpsuit isnĘt front page news then I donĘt know what is...
Hohohooo! Zank joo, madame. I am but a zimple bizinessman, oui? Zeese Caldarys zat we 'ave in zis report brought to joo by Madame DeBroulliard... zey are, not very underztanding ze Federaci=n and how to enjoy zemselves, non!
Madame Angelis. It iz our duty as citizens of ze Federaci=n to help zem in zere quest for enjoyment and pleasure, to free zem of ze restraining shackles of ze State! To aid in zis noble endeavor, ze Rumrunners are offering free zamples to any of our fine Caldari friends 'ere zat spoke badly of us. Let our narcotiquTs show joo ze way to enlightenment! Hohohohooooo!
Etienne promptly tosses a pair of blue pills into his mouth, gulping as he places a drop-soaked rag over his face. The transmission fades, with the sound of him giggling in the background.
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Daryl Xero
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Posted - 2006.03.25 06:48:00 -
[17]
Perhaps this will be the last straw, the one that convinces the State to renew the war with the Federation.
*Looks over the transmission again*
We can only hope...
What doesn't kill you defines you. |
Veko Tomugo
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Posted - 2006.03.25 06:49:00 -
[18]
*A cacophony of swearing can be can be heard before the comm screen flashes into focus, bearing the grizzled face of Veko Tomugo. He looks as though he hasn't slept in months*
Etienne... you are a disease... a contagious, deadly disease that must be wiped out of this goddamn galaxy permanently.
You've evaded me enough, Etienne. You've cost me enough in time and money. I no longer have any interest in capturing you or your goddamn harem-of-indeterminate-gender alive. Sleep tight, *******. One of these nights my booted foot is going to be kicking down your door, and I will snap your neck like a twig.
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Fou Lavache
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Posted - 2006.03.25 08:09:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Veko Tomugo *A cacophony of swearing can be can be heard before the comm screen flashes into focus, bearing the grizzled face of Veko Tomugo. He looks as though he hasn't slept in months*
Etienne... you are a disease... a contagious, deadly disease that must be wiped out of this goddamn galaxy permanently.
You've evaded me enough, Etienne. You've cost me enough in time and money. I no longer have any interest in capturing you or your goddamn harem-of-indeterminate-gender alive. Sleep tight, *******. One of these nights my booted foot is going to be kicking down your door, and I will snap your neck like a twig.
Ooohohohohohoooo!
I zink monsieur, you doubt our capabilitiTz and prowezz, in le guerre. Zo, I zay I will get yoo!
Fou lifts a rag out of a bottle, labelled "Kaeleron and Pulgor's Brew." It's almost certainly the same substance that was poured around Club Allure, several months previous. He pauses before placing the rag over his face.
Ooh, and Graelyn yoo fiend, I will get moi ztick back and I shall beat yoo with it, incessantly! I will avenge Amelie!
He strikes a dramatic pose before falling back into a plush chair and placing the rag across his face with a contented sigh and a slight twitch
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Kaeleron
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Posted - 2006.03.25 16:29:00 -
[20]
Edited by: Kaeleron on 25/03/2006 16:29:06
Originally by: Fou Lavache Fou lifts a rag out of a bottle, labelled "Kaeleron and Pulgor's Brew."
*** Transmission Failure Due To Subspace Interference *** |
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Tsual
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Posted - 2006.03.25 18:37:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Fou Lavache
Originally by: Veko Tomugo *A cacophony of swearing can be can be heard before the comm screen flashes into focus, bearing the grizzled face of Veko Tomugo. He looks as though he hasn't slept in months*
Etienne... you are a disease... a contagious, deadly disease that must be wiped out of this goddamn galaxy permanently.
You've evaded me enough, Etienne. You've cost me enough in time and money. I no longer have any interest in capturing you or your goddamn harem-of-indeterminate-gender alive. Sleep tight, *******. One of these nights my booted foot is going to be kicking down your door, and I will snap your neck like a twig.
Ooohohohohohoooo!
I zink monsieur, you doubt our capabilitiTz and prowezz, in le guerre. Zo, I zay I will get yoo!
Fou lifts a rag out of a bottle, labelled "Kaeleron and Pulgor's Brew." It's almost certainly the same substance that was poured around Club Allure, several months previous. He pauses before placing the rag over his face.
Ooh, and Graelyn yoo fiend, I will get moi ztick back and I shall beat yoo with it, incessantly! I will avenge Amelie!
He strikes a dramatic pose before falling back into a plush chair and placing the rag across his face with a contented sigh and a slight twitch
Now honestly who alowed this gallente drug-queen(definitly an u and not an a) in here?
******************** Tsual - Highly ore adddicted.
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Malthros Zenobia
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Posted - 2006.03.26 00:10:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Alexis DeTocqueville
Originally by: Graelyn
*cleans blood off nightstick and puts it away*
And that's the end of that! Damned Scope people....
You carry a pink, fluorescent nightstick?
I'd be more afraid of someone with a pink nightstick, because you know something isn't quite right in their head.
Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu I'm probably one of the biggest Bush fanboys in Eve... This is like, Darth Vader, can't-reach-climax-without-killing-a-puppy evil.
RAWR!11 Sig Hijack!11 - Imaran |
Etienne Beauvais
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Posted - 2006.03.26 01:52:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Malthros Zenobia
I'd be more afraid of someone with a pink nightstick, because you know something isn't quite right in their head.
Ahhh, Monsieur Zenobia! A returning cuztomer, oui? We 'ave ze specialT prices on ze nerve sticks 'ere for joo, like last time! Hohooo, are are joo feeling more brave zis time around? We 'ave ze X-Instinct well in ztock zis week, oui!
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Malthros Zenobia
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Posted - 2006.03.26 03:12:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Etienne Beauvais
Originally by: Malthros Zenobia
I'd be more afraid of someone with a pink nightstick, because you know something isn't quite right in their head.
Ahhh, Monsieur Zenobia! A returning cuztomer, oui? We 'ave ze specialT prices on ze nerve sticks 'ere for joo, like last time! Hohooo, are are joo feeling more brave zis time around? We 'ave ze X-Instinct well in ztock zis week, oui!
Who the hell are you?
Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu I'm probably one of the biggest Bush fanboys in Eve... This is like, Darth Vader, can't-reach-climax-without-killing-a-puppy evil.
RAWR!11 Sig Hijack!11 - Imaran |
Alexis DeTocqueville
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Posted - 2006.03.26 03:36:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Malthros Zenobia
Who the hell are you?
I don't know, but he sounds like some backwater system cajun.
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Takitoo
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Posted - 2006.03.26 03:42:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Etienne Beauvais Ahhh, Monsieur Zenobia! A returning cuztomer, oui? We 'ave ze specialT prices on ze nerve sticks 'ere for joo, like last time! Hohooo, are are joo feeling more brave zis time around? We 'ave ze X-Instinct well in ztock zis week, oui!
Etienne ! It's been a long time that I've tried shooting at either you or Fou ... Care to come to Placid ? Come on ... I don't bite ... too much.
And do bring something valuable I can loot.
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Etienne Beauvais
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Posted - 2006.03.26 19:46:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Malthros Zenobia
Who the hell are you?
Hohohoooo.. Monsieur Zenobia! Joo 'ave forgotten ze Rumrunners already? Perhaps joo 'ave taken too many of ze blue pills, oui? Ze Rumrunners 'ave not forgotten ze Caldari Amusement Invenci=ns et Novelties, non!
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Nos Gainah
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Posted - 2006.03.27 06:38:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Amelie deBroulliard Edited by: Amelie deBroulliard on 24/03/2006 05:28:46 Trouble in the cluster again, as the series of criminal acts increases over the past few weeks. The recent influx of pilots, not normally seen within stations might be attributed to this situation. The Khanid Kingdom has seen the rise of the Sanguine Legion, a group of Khanadian pilots who have dedicated themselves to indulging in the arcane rituals of the feared Blood Raiders who stalk the southern end of the Amarr Empire in search of prey.
Actually, much to our dismay, the Sanguine Legion has no presence whatsoever in Khanid. Additionally, they include all races, making them not Khanid in any way shape or form, except for the founders and first set of members. We do plan on dealing with this potential threat however in or out of Khanid.
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