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Gaufres
Old Timers Guild Inc. Coalition of Old Timers
54
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Posted - 2014.02.25 03:06:00 -
[1] - Quote
After many attempts to locate a Jovian Representative or to locate a way to get to Jove Space to contact them directly, I have come up with a way that may work.
We know that the Sansha have a Base and a Directed Wormhole Generator that allows them to make raiding Incursions into known space. What I propose is this.
I will pay 1 Billion ISK to the person who can deliver to me a working Sansha Device that will get me into Jove Space. |
Eran Mintor
Esoteric Philosophy
462
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Posted - 2014.02.25 05:07:00 -
[2] - Quote
I think such a device would be worth far more than one billion interstellar kredits. I certainly would not sell it for that, should I possess such a device.
-Eran |
Fredfredbug4
Eve Defence Force Cult of War
2135
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Posted - 2014.02.25 05:32:00 -
[3] - Quote
1 Trillion and you have a deal. Watch Fred Fred Frederation and stop cryptozoologist! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it! |
Eran Mintor
Esoteric Philosophy
463
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Posted - 2014.02.25 06:26:00 -
[4] - Quote
Even a trillion pales in comparison to what could be achieved with having such a device. Something like that is invaluable and I'd wager that's why it's been so unattainable over these past years. Nevermind it's owned by Sansha, and nothing escapes Nation once they get their claws, or implants, around it...
-Eran |
Redpants
The Scope Gallente Federation
16
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Posted - 2014.02.25 06:54:00 -
[5] - Quote
1 Trillion ISK? That's kind of selling yourself short it isn't it? I mean maybe that much for a working time machine sure mon ami but this is a Sansha Directed Worlmhole Generator to Jovian space we're talking about! At least 2 Trillion no?
Of course I'm jesting. I admire this plan. I like this plan. It has moxy. It's Brutors balls! To traverse the unknown in pursuit of returning with Jovian dancing girls is among the dreams of every adolescent on Gallentia! It makes my pants tight just talking about it. Should you actually be able to pull together this fantasctic conception, you will have singlehandedly enriched Federal nightlife to levels of decadence not seen since frentix hit the scene (and kissed my soul.) You Monsieur Gaufres have the savoir faire! |
Erica Dusette
Sky Fighters
3102
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Posted - 2014.02.25 06:54:00 -
[6] - Quote
You want to spend a small fortune seeking a theoretical piece of equipment that you hope can transport you to unknown regions where you hope to find a mythical race, one member of whom that works as an exotic dancer, so you can kidnap them and return to known regions?
That's a lot of trouble to go to just for a little hip-swaying and butt-grinding in your lap sir. Are you truly that lonely? Major (Ret.) Caldary Naval Militia | Morale Officer (Pinup model) Just an innocent explorer!-á pâä | -áWormhole Sisters of EVE Herrbert: "womwomwowmwoaugharwajwowoooommm"
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Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
365
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Posted - 2014.02.25 07:55:00 -
[7] - Quote
Erica Dusette wrote:You want to spend a small fortune seeking a theoretical piece of equipment that you hope can transport you to unknown regions where you hope to find a mythical race, one member of whom that works as an exotic dancer, so you can kidnap them and return to known regions?
Sounds like a synopsis of a new holoreel sitcom on Scope. Those people never seem to run out of ideas, really.
- Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim ___________________________ Angels are never far... Stillwater Corporation recruitment open. |
Erica Dusette
Sky Fighters
3103
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Posted - 2014.02.25 08:05:00 -
[8] - Quote
Leopold Caine wrote:Erica Dusette wrote:You want to spend a small fortune seeking a theoretical piece of equipment that you hope can transport you to unknown regions where you hope to find a mythical race, one member of whom that works as an exotic dancer, so you can kidnap them and return to known regions? Sounds like a synopsis of a new holoreel sitcom on Scope. Those people never seem to run out of ideas, really. Aye, I don't get it, Mr Caine, sir. From the myths I've heard the Jove aren't even attractive let alone real.
If all he wants is a lapdance then hell, for a billion I'll give him one myself. I'll even dress up as an ugly, mythical alien if he's into that kind of thing. I still have my Sleeper drone costume somewhere, minus a tentacle or two. Major (Ret.) Caldary Naval Militia | Morale Officer (Pinup model) Just an innocent explorer!-á pâä | -áWormhole Sisters of EVE Herrbert: "womwomwowmwoaugharwajwowoooommm"
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Apollo Lyserius
Minerva Technologies
14
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Posted - 2014.02.25 11:04:00 -
[9] - Quote
What's with the Jove girls? Are they unlikely the rest of their race (Which I've heard are an awful ugly and short lot), or have you experienced so much of what the GalNet has to offer already and is now looking for something below the bottom of decadence and depravity? (Which I've nothing against.)
Anyway, good luck on your quest, though I believe you won't get there by buying a wormwhole generator. But don't give up! You'll find a way. |
Ava Starfire
Gradient
1462
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Posted - 2014.02.25 12:54:00 -
[10] - Quote
Apollo Lyserius wrote:What's with the Jove girls? Are they unlikely the rest of their race (Which I've heard are an awful ugly and short lot), or have you experienced so much of what the GalNet has to offer already and is now looking for something below the bottom of decadence and depravity?
Hey man.
Don't judge. "There is no strength in numbers; have no such misconception."
-Jayka Vofur, "Warfare in the North" |
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Apollo Lyserius
Minerva Technologies
15
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Posted - 2014.02.25 14:06:00 -
[11] - Quote
Ava Starfire wrote:Apollo Lyserius wrote:What's with the Jove girls? Are they unlikely the rest of their race (Which I've heard are an awful ugly and short lot), or have you experienced so much of what the GalNet has to offer already and is now looking for something below the bottom of decadence and depravity? Hey man. Don't judge.
Hey! Don't strategically cut out parts of my speech. I see no problem in going below the bottom of decadence and depravity looking for pleasure. I don't judge. There are already too many Amarr in the cluster for me to bother judging. |
Karmilla Strife
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
196
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Posted - 2014.02.25 15:08:00 -
[12] - Quote
Apollo Lyserius wrote:Ava Starfire wrote:Apollo Lyserius wrote:What's with the Jove girls? Are they unlikely the rest of their race (Which I've heard are an awful ugly and short lot), or have you experienced so much of what the GalNet has to offer already and is now looking for something below the bottom of decadence and depravity? Hey man. Don't judge. Hey! Don't strategically cut out parts of my speech. I see no problem in going below the bottom of decadence and depravity looking for pleasure. I don't judge. There are already too many Amarr in the cluster for me to bother judging.
You're judging again. |
Morwen Lagann
Tyrathlion Interstellar
1101
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Posted - 2014.02.25 15:24:00 -
[13] - Quote
Anyone who believes those of the Empire and her allies have a monopoly on the judging of others, ought look no further than the tip of their own nose. Morwen Lagann CEO, Tyrathlion Interstellar |
Cuci Cairi
73
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Posted - 2014.02.25 15:33:00 -
[14] - Quote
Why judge his judgement? Its not like he's asking for a fedo. -á |
Stitcher
Alexylva Paradox
3182
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Posted - 2014.02.25 15:33:00 -
[15] - Quote
Erica Dusette wrote:You want to spend a small fortune seeking a theoretical piece of equipment that you hope can transport you to unknown regions where you hope to find a mythical race, one member of whom that works as an exotic dancer, so you can kidnap them and return to known regions?
That's a lot of trouble to go to just for a little hip-swaying and butt-grinding in your lap sir. Are you truly that lonely?
Certainly seems like it'd be a lot cheaper to look around in Caille. There's bound to be some boddy-modder somewhere who's into the bald-and-translucent look and can be persuaded to get naked for cash.
An in-character blog and a video: http://verinsjournal.blogspot.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1mbsgo738
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Apollo Lyserius
Minerva Technologies
15
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Posted - 2014.02.25 15:42:00 -
[16] - Quote
I thought the ability to use and grasp irony was a requirement for joining the ISG. I will now avoid using it in order not to get misunderstood.
I don't judge. I don't think there's anything wrong in liking jovian erotic dancers. I think people are entitled to do as they wish. Geez. |
Erica Dusette
Sky Fighters
3106
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Posted - 2014.02.25 15:50:00 -
[17] - Quote
Stitcher wrote:Certainly seems like it'd be a lot cheaper to look around in Caille. There's bound to be some boddy-modder somewhere who's into the bald-and-translucent look and can be persuaded to get naked for cash. Agreed. I've never been one to chase money personally but I guess it's a necessary evil at times. Having said that, for a billion I'd certainly get naked although no amount of ISK could persuade me to shave my head, uhffff.
With that kind of money I'm sure he'll find what he's looking for eventually, if he doesn't come down off the boosters first. Major (Ret.) Caldary Naval Militia | Morale Officer (Pinup model) Just an innocent explorer!-á pâä | -áWormhole Sisters of EVE Herrbert: "womwomwowmwoaugharwajwowoooommm"
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Pontianak Sythaeryn
Bottle Distribution Ops Center
125
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Posted - 2014.02.25 15:53:00 -
[18] - Quote
Apollo Lyserius wrote:I thought the ability to use and grasp irony was a requirement for joining the ISG. I will now avoid using it in order not to get misunderstood.
I don't judge. I don't think there's anything wrong in liking jovian erotic dancers. I think people are entitled to do as they wish. Geez.
An irony? All the people telling you not to judge... are judging. So who is judging the judging judgers?
Yea, I went there.
Personally, I can think of a lot more profitable uses of such a device than going into jove space to get some exotic dancers... but that's just me. |
Vulxanis Viceroy
Xiadii Family Holdings
42
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Posted - 2014.02.25 20:26:00 -
[19] - Quote
Erica Dusette wrote:From the myths I've heard the Jove aren't even attractive let alone real.
Oh, they are very real, my dear. Myths do not destroy entire fleets. However, I would have to agree, as they are likely not very attractive due to all the modifications they have done to themselves. There is a strong possibility they might even be extinct by now due to the disease of their own creation. Fide et honore.
(OOC note: proper form of address is Lord Draconis. Not anything with "Viceroy". Seriously, read my bio - https://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Vulxanis_Viceroy#Extended_Bio)-á((Twitter @VulxanisViceroy)) |
Katran Luftschreck
Royal Ammatar Engineering Corps
2338
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Posted - 2014.02.25 23:51:00 -
[20] - Quote
I think that while in the past the Amarr underestimated the Jove, in the present people continually overestimate them.
Keep in mind that a key factor in the one battle they've ever been seen in they had, oh yeah, completely leveraged the situation through the liberal use of spies beforehand. While we were going up against an unknown factor, the Jovian's spy network had shown them ahead of time exactly what we were bringing - and exactly how to defeat it.
One need look no further than the history between Goonswarm and the now defunct Band of Brothers to see just how much damage even one very well placed agent can do.
Had the tables been turned, as far as intel is concerned, the outcome of that battle could very well have been very different.
And factor in the technology gap then compared to now. Since then the nations of New Eden have developed levels of technology that are orders of magnitude ahead of what was brought to the field back then. Have the Jovians bothered to even try to keep pace, or have they smugly assumed that we could never catch up with them?
And remember that wasn't our entire fleet - not by a long shot. It was a single battle group from just one of what is now four mighty nations.
And let's not forget the glaringly obvious addition of, oh yeah, capsuleer technology to our list of new toys.
I firmly believe that if, by the Grace of God, all our modern nations were to ever unite against the Jovians then their little slowly dying empire would become extinct in under a week. Nullsec in a Nutshell: http://nedroid.com/comics/2006-08-24-2155-arrrdino.gif |
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Fredfredbug4
Eve Defence Force Cult of War
2140
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Posted - 2014.02.25 23:52:00 -
[21] - Quote
Stitcher wrote:Erica Dusette wrote:You want to spend a small fortune seeking a theoretical piece of equipment that you hope can transport you to unknown regions where you hope to find a mythical race, one member of whom that works as an exotic dancer, so you can kidnap them and return to known regions?
That's a lot of trouble to go to just for a little hip-swaying and butt-grinding in your lap sir. Are you truly that lonely? Certainly seems like it'd be a lot cheaper to look around in Caille. There's bound to be some boddy-modder somewhere who's into the bald-and-translucent look and can be persuaded to get naked for cash.
Actually, there is! There's a strip club/brothel in Caille dedicated to such a look and at least two or three more in the entire Federation!
You probably don't want to know why I know this. Watch Fred Fred Frederation and stop cryptozoologist! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it! |
Claudia Osyn
Mythic Security Service
140
|
Posted - 2014.02.26 00:07:00 -
[22] - Quote
Fredfredbug4 wrote:Stitcher wrote:Erica Dusette wrote:You want to spend a small fortune seeking a theoretical piece of equipment that you hope can transport you to unknown regions where you hope to find a mythical race, one member of whom that works as an exotic dancer, so you can kidnap them and return to known regions?
That's a lot of trouble to go to just for a little hip-swaying and butt-grinding in your lap sir. Are you truly that lonely? Certainly seems like it'd be a lot cheaper to look around in Caille. There's bound to be some boddy-modder somewhere who's into the bald-and-translucent look and can be persuaded to get naked for cash. Actually, there is! There's a strip club/brothel in Caille dedicated to such a look and at least two or three more in the entire Federation! You probably don't want to know why I know this. Let's assume it's "work related", shall we? The lack of money is the root of all evil. |
Fredfredbug4
Eve Defence Force Cult of War
2140
|
Posted - 2014.02.26 01:42:00 -
[23] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:Fredfredbug4 wrote:Stitcher wrote:Erica Dusette wrote:You want to spend a small fortune seeking a theoretical piece of equipment that you hope can transport you to unknown regions where you hope to find a mythical race, one member of whom that works as an exotic dancer, so you can kidnap them and return to known regions?
That's a lot of trouble to go to just for a little hip-swaying and butt-grinding in your lap sir. Are you truly that lonely? Certainly seems like it'd be a lot cheaper to look around in Caille. There's bound to be some boddy-modder somewhere who's into the bald-and-translucent look and can be persuaded to get naked for cash. Actually, there is! There's a strip club/brothel in Caille dedicated to such a look and at least two or three more in the entire Federation! You probably don't want to know why I know this. Let's assume it's "work related", shall we?
It can indeed be seen as work related. Though I guarantee you that I did not provide nor request the services these locales provide!
Emphasis on request... Watch Fred Fred Frederation and stop cryptozoologist! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it! |
Gaufres
Old Timers Guild Inc. Coalition of Old Timers
54
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Posted - 2014.02.26 17:39:00 -
[24] - Quote
{ There's a strip club/brothel in Caille dedicated to such a look and at least two or three more in the entire Federation! }
I have seen the ads for these places, but that is not my taste in entertainment.
I have rescued over 850k Exotic Dancers from mostly seriously bad conditions both Amarr and Caldari controlled space. I just thought that since the Jovians like to observe human behavior, what better way that to obtain one interested in that form of entertainment.
As for the Wormhole device. the Sansha must have smaller units for scout vessels to use when they select places to make their raids. All I really need is one of these, I do not want to bring an Invasion Fleet into Jove Space, just a Frigate or Cruiser will do for my purposes. |
Morgan Wulver
Eskola Ergonomics
18
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Posted - 2014.02.28 00:38:00 -
[25] - Quote
More to the point, I would happily contribute to this expedition. An incursion into Jovian space would open a whole world of possibilities for any entrepreneurs interested in joining in on this little voyage of the damned.
The scientific implications of bringing back a living Jove to study just so happens to align with the added benefit of her potential occupation as an exotic dancer. Have you ever seen a female Jovian Modifier shaking her pale rump on stage? Me neither. We owe the world that gift. "Today, unyielding, we have walked the way of the warrior. In our hands have our fates been molded."
DUST Account: Galm Fae-á
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Nauplius
24th Imperial Crusade Amarr Empire
102
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Posted - 2014.02.28 01:13:00 -
[26] - Quote
Katran Luftschreck wrote: I firmly believe that if, by the Grace of God, all our modern nations were to ever unite against the Jovians then their little slowly dying empire would become extinct in under a week.
We don't need anyone else's help. I say we Amarr launch the invasion ourselves GÇö right now GÇö kill 'em all, take their stuff, and then use their stuff to Reclaim everyone else. |
Andreus Ixiris
Duty. DARKNESS.
4254
|
Posted - 2014.02.28 11:06:00 -
[27] - Quote
People talk a lot about overestimating or underestimating the Jovians, but the simple truth of the matter is that no assumptions should be made about them. They're inscrutable and enigmatic to the extreme, their technology a hundred years ago was functionally comparable to what we've developed today and from the little we've seen of them since that time it doesn't look like they've given up scientific advance. They're mercurial, manipulative and deceptive, and from the limited interaction with the other empires often display a disturbingly precise understanding of the things people want, even if they themselves don't know it. They're not above making themselves seem far more vulnerable than they are in order to encourage others to make serious errors in judgement - I often question whether the so-called "Jovian disease" even exists, or whether it's another one of their clever lies.
They've been silent since the wormholes opened. This could be indicative of something (conspiracy theory du jour - perhaps they caused the Seylinn Incident!) or it could be a complete coincidence.
The Jovians have been the givers of many gifts to the cluster, but there's always a catch to their apparent generosity. In giving us capsuleer technology they arguably sewed the seeds of a transhuman renaissance, but that renaissance has led to wars on a scale we could scarcely even have imagined a century ago, and put more power than a single human consciousness has ever wielded before in the hands of a vast coterie of minds that are deeply unstable at best - a textbook definition of "mixed blessing" if ever there was one.
If the Jove Empire still exists - and I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to believe that it doesn't - there's a fair chance that they foresaw any action hostile forces might take against them a good while before the idea occured to that hostile force itself. In fact, if I wanted to be left alone and had an immense, cluster-spanning espionage network intended to blunt any action taken against me, the last thing I'd do is draw attention to either it or myself. People tend to make silly assumptions about things they can't see, like "they all died" or "you know, I bet we could take them."
Isn't there an old Amarrian saying - how does it go? "The greatest trick the Deceiver ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist." Mane 614
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Diana Kim
State Protectorate Caldari State
905
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Posted - 2014.03.01 07:27:00 -
[28] - Quote
Nauplius wrote:Katran Luftschreck wrote: I firmly believe that if, by the Grace of God, all our modern nations were to ever unite against the Jovians then their little slowly dying empire would become extinct in under a week.
We don't need anyone else's help. I say we Amarr launch the invasion ourselves GÇö right now GÇö kill 'em all, take their stuff, and then use their stuff to Reclaim everyone else. Mr. Nauplius, in other topic you were telling about fight with Jovians. Tell me, why would you want to do this again?.. How much our technology has changed since that time?.. Unless you summon the God himself on battlefield, the end will be exactly the same as it ended before.
Besides, why would you attack Jovians at all? They just live their lives and don't disturb anyone. On other hand, we have gallenteans under our noses, why not unite against them instead? |
Candi LeMew
Sky Fighters
215
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Posted - 2014.03.02 14:50:00 -
[29] - Quote
I don't think Mr Nauplius does anything that makes sense from the look of his ramblin's.
This dancer thing is strange.
This person has no interest in the services of a dancer, but he wants to bring a Jove dancer girl, specifically, here to New Eden? I don't think draggin' her to a technologically inferior place would be much of a rescue. Anyway if she was that curious about us people wouldn't she just come here herself with her wormhole thingy?
I bet you just wanna kidnap her for reasons you don't wanna talk about. You're really no different to any of the men lurking dark alleys or smelly strip places, maybe just a lil bit crazier though and richer maybe. "I been kicked out of better homes than this" - Rick James
Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty. |
Gaufres
Old Timers Guild Inc. Coalition of Old Timers
55
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Posted - 2014.03.02 23:58:00 -
[30] - Quote
You seriously think you could kidnap a Jovian and they would not know about it? I would imagine if you did that, your clone vat would suffer a malfunction and they would not have to worry about you attempting to do it ever again. |
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