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Vaari
Imperial Pharmacy Silent Infinity
281
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Posted - 2014.05.26 19:46:00 -
[1] - Quote
Today we, the Ecumenical Patriarch of the Silent Infinity held a small and blessed ceremony honoring our ostriches in our alliance system of H-GKI
Vaari > God has given our alliance many gifts
Vaari > One of the most prestigious is of course of our High Lady and Canoness
Vaari > Lady Raely
Vaari > Her wisdom guides us surely our faith does
Vaari > We have been blessed with rich systems and brave witch hunters to protect our assets and our esteemed Ecumenical Patriarch
Vaari > That is us
Vaari > Many of our member will easily forged the small, but vital blessing of our alliance
Vaari > Ostriches of Providence breed
Vaari > Our gentle birds are rised in our space stations and pos hangars zoo portions
Vaari > They provide us with milk, eggs and meat to feed us and feathers to clothe us
Vaari > They are very special breed of amarrian ostriches, which has been raised from best individuals
Vaari > Now they swarm in our alliance station corridors, reminding us every day how grateful we should be for our big and small blessed gifts from the God Omnipotent
Vaari > It is time that we as a alliance to elevate our gentle and trusting birds to the position they deserve
Vaari > And grant the position of the alliance bird
Vaari > That is the will of God
Vaari > Like our High Lady, our ostriches are also vital for our survival
Vaari > With them, we can hold these system for months in case of major invasion to Providence
Vaari > Theyr milk, eggs and meat sustine our bodies, our faith feed our souls and feathers protect us from the cold of space
Vaari > Our High Lady of course leads us.
Vaari > It is calculated that if every miner increase the consumption of ostricht food daily by half
Vaari > Our entire alliance industrial output would increase 23,2%
Vaari > Lets pray
Vaari > God all mighty, our guiding light and reason to live
Vaari > Bless our High Lady, our Ecumenical Patriarch, our holders and our Avatar of War
Vaari > Also grant your everlastin blessing to our vast ostrich herds and make them reproduce more often
Vaari > Grant them big eggs and lot of milk and make them fat
Vaari > Grant our witch hunters courage to encounter heathens who wish to steal our system and raid our mines
Vaari > Grant us all wealth and faith so we can serve your divine will to the end of eternity
Vaari > Amen
Vaari > /emote sprinkles holy water |
Talas Dir
Super Happy Fun Corp
18
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Posted - 2014.05.26 21:55:00 -
[2] - Quote
Yet again the very inspirational golden mountain Lord Vaari has graced the IGS with his lavish and commanding presence. I speak for the entire IGS when I say that you're our favorite loopy Amarrian preacher. |
Evi Polevhia
True Slave Foundations Shaktipat Revelators
586
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Posted - 2014.05.26 22:15:00 -
[3] - Quote
Ostrich milk...
Something tells me either those are not ostritches, you are using them wrong, or both. |
Eran Mintor
Esoteric Philosophy
605
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Posted - 2014.05.27 07:05:00 -
[4] - Quote
On one hand I want to say that this is actually a pretty accurate reflection of Providence, but on the other hand I want to say that he's not referring to Lady Raely being elevated, but that he himself is the high lady dressed in drag while high off some Matari herb.
-Eran |
Jade Blackwind
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
26
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Posted - 2014.05.27 08:04:00 -
[5] - Quote
For a brief moment, i've imagined Lord Vaari, clad in a warm, vacuum-proof robe of feathers, milking an ostrich. And now i can't stop giggling hysterically. |
Andreus Ixiris
Duty. Circle-Of-Two
4676
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Posted - 2014.05.27 11:25:00 -
[6] - Quote
More nonsense from another false prophet. You and Nauplius would get on very well. Mane 614
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Graelyn
Decapsulation Services Cascade Imminent
620
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Posted - 2014.05.27 13:35:00 -
[7] - Quote
I am certain they would. + Cardinal Graelyn + Owner/Operator, "The Summit" Amarr Loyalist of the Year --áYC113 |
Claudia Osyn
Mythic Security Service
435
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Posted - 2014.05.27 20:18:00 -
[8] - Quote
Andreus Ixiris wrote:More nonsense from another false prophet. You and Nauplius would get on very well. Only untill Nappy tried to sacrifice the birds. The lack of money is the root of all evil. |
Pieter Tuulinen
Verdant Inquiries Monyusaiya Industry Trade Group
3690
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Posted - 2014.05.27 20:22:00 -
[9] - Quote
Huge flightless birds loose in the station corridors?
I am shocked. "You let one of them go, but that's nothing new is it? Every now and then a little victim is allowed to escape; because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions." "Only a killer would know that..." |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
538
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Posted - 2014.05.27 20:41:00 -
[10] - Quote
Is that what an... osterick? Is that what it is, a huge flightless bird? New Eden gets weirder every day with or without drugs, I swear. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Arkady Vachon
Intaki Technical Services Combine
915
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Posted - 2014.05.28 04:58:00 -
[11] - Quote
I like Emus better. Nothing Personal - Just Business...
Chaos Creates Content |
Arkady Vachon
Intaki Technical Services Combine
915
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Posted - 2014.05.28 05:00:00 -
[12] - Quote
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Huge flightless birds loose in the station corridors?
I am shocked.
Caldari like naming ship classes after birds, why haven't you guys used Ostrich yet?
Or better yet, Emu? Nothing Personal - Just Business...
Chaos Creates Content |
Claudia Osyn
Mythic Security Service
440
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Posted - 2014.05.28 13:54:00 -
[13] - Quote
Arkady Vachon wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Huge flightless birds loose in the station corridors?
I am shocked. Caldari like naming ship classes after birds, why haven't you guys used Ostrich yet? Or better yet, Emu? Still waiting on the penguin class. I would so train caldari for the penguin class. The lack of money is the root of all evil. |
Scherezad
Revenent Defence Corperation Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
1803
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Posted - 2014.05.28 18:01:00 -
[14] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:Arkady Vachon wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Huge flightless birds loose in the station corridors?
I am shocked. Caldari like naming ship classes after birds, why haven't you guys used Ostrich yet? Or better yet, Emu? Still waiting on the penguin class. I would so train caldari for the penguin class.
I feel as if the Penguin would probably be my spirit animal. I'm about as agile and graceful as a land animal! |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
539
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Posted - 2014.05.28 18:25:00 -
[15] - Quote
dafuq is a penguin? You guys are making these up, aren't you? Huge flightless bird my exhaust port. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Veikitamo Gesakaarin
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Imperial Outlaws.
1575
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Posted - 2014.05.28 19:09:00 -
[16] - Quote
I quite enjoyed reading a sub-genre of post-colonial Caldari horror science-fiction that took place in an alternate reality and that was written in by both amateur and professional authors. In it flightless birds were the minions of primordial, metaphysical entities, called the Lord Tengus that inflicted terror and madness in mortal minds (usually the protagonists). Since the existence of these Elder Spirits implied the sheer futility of their own in the knowledge that the universe is not benevolent nor ambivalent but actively seeking their annihilation.
Really, what's not to enjoy about vicariously following a character's descent into existential crisis and madness in the depths of space? |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
539
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Posted - 2014.05.28 19:21:00 -
[17] - Quote
Elder Penguins, is it? Well, I've heard crazier. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Veikitamo Gesakaarin
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Imperial Outlaws.
1576
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Posted - 2014.05.28 19:44:00 -
[18] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:Elder Penguins, is it? Well, I've heard crazier.
When you read the IGS long enough, that is unsurprising.
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Jade Blackwind
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
32
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Posted - 2014.05.29 04:51:00 -
[19] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:dafuq is a penguin? You guys are making these up, aren't you? Huge flightless bird my exhaust port. I blame the Caldari for starting the whole Giant Mythical Flightless Bird thing. Because Moa. :P
Hmmm, thinking about that, perhaps, a penguin is some sort of moa? Maybe, even an Elder Moa. Or is that Emu? |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
543
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Posted - 2014.05.29 06:09:00 -
[20] - Quote
Well, most of our ships are flightless enough to require MWDs just to push them out of the dock, but I guess that's a different topic altogether. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
201
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Posted - 2014.05.29 11:47:00 -
[21] - Quote
Andreus Ixiris wrote:More nonsense from another false prophet. You and Nauplius would get on very well.
Sadly, in another place Vaari expressed his disapproval of my mass scale slave sacrifices. For this, he risks being sent to the Mouth of Hell along with PIE to spend all eternity chasing false slogans. |
Stitcher
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
3730
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Posted - 2014.05.29 16:56:00 -
[22] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:dafuq is a penguin? You guys are making these up, aren't you?
Nope, they're an anthrogenic species of semi-aquatic flightless bird that prefer sub-arctic biomes. Notorious for vaguely resembling men in formal dinner attire.
They had some in a zoo on New Caldari Prime that my class went to one time when I was little. An in-character blog and a video: http://verinsjournal.blogspot.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1mbsgo738
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Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
545
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Posted - 2014.05.29 18:00:00 -
[23] - Quote
Stitcher wrote:an anthrogenic species of semi-aquatic flightless bird that prefer sub-arctic biomes. Notorious for vaguely resembling men in formal dinner attire.
This does in no way convince me you're not making this stuff up. I'm supposed to be the one on hallucinogens. On the off chance you're actually serious and this is a real thing, I'm staying where I belong. In space. Dirtside is just too weird. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Samira Kernher
Praetorian Auxiliary Force Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
578
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Posted - 2014.05.29 18:16:00 -
[24] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:Stitcher wrote:an anthrogenic species of semi-aquatic flightless bird that prefer sub-arctic biomes. Notorious for vaguely resembling men in formal dinner attire. This does in no way convince me you're not making this stuff up. I'm supposed to be the one on hallucinogens. On the off chance you're actually serious and this is a real thing, I'm staying where I belong. In space. Dirtside is just too weird.
Penguins. |
Bryen Verrisai
EVE University Ivy League
174
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Posted - 2014.05.29 18:35:00 -
[25] - Quote
Nauplius wrote:he risks being sent to the Mouth of Hell along with PIE to spend all eternity chasing false slogans. Hell is a Caille shopping mall? |
Karynn Denton
Clan Katanga Caravan
183
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Posted - 2014.05.29 18:40:00 -
[26] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:On the off chance you're actually serious and this is a real thing, I'm staying where I belong. In space. Dirtside is just too weird.
I wholly agree.
I have only ever been dirtside a handful of times in my life, one of which was when an ex took me to see a zoo in Coricia, on Matar. It was a terrifying experience. Almost as bad as the first time I experienced snow. Hence, he is an "ex".
Those penguin things - how big are they? In Pilot Kernher's link they look massive! Terrifying.
Karynn Denton Caravan Master
Thukking about! In Rifters! On drugs! \o/ |
Bryen Verrisai
EVE University Ivy League
174
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Posted - 2014.05.29 18:44:00 -
[27] - Quote
Penguins aren't very large. On average they're about one meter tall. |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
547
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Posted - 2014.05.29 18:49:00 -
[28] - Quote
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. No. Negative. Nope. Oh hell naw. Cleanse these places with fire. We have all we need in space, I tell ya. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Claudia Osyn
Mythic Security Service
442
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Posted - 2014.05.29 19:21:00 -
[29] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:Stitcher wrote:an anthrogenic species of semi-aquatic flightless bird that prefer sub-arctic biomes. Notorious for vaguely resembling men in formal dinner attire. This does in no way convince me you're not making this stuff up. I'm supposed to be the one on hallucinogens. On the off chance you're actually serious and this is a real thing, I'm staying where I belong. In space. Dirtside is just too weird. Think penguins are strange? Try a platypus. The lack of money is the root of all evil. |
Bryen Verrisai
EVE University Ivy League
174
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Posted - 2014.05.29 19:27:00 -
[30] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote: Try a platypus. Fun fact: the playtpus is one of only a handful of mammals in the entire cluster known to produce venom. |
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