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Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
7
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Posted - 2014.06.11 09:10:00 -
[1] - Quote
Hi all,
Apparently there has been a violent spike in demand for shady loans and hilariously bad offerings here @ MD. It's time for me to step in again and do you all an offer you should refuse.
Welcome back to Awkward Honesty.
THE CONCEPT:
I will be reopening my business of accepting investments at exorbitant rates. I will then proceed to act like I am investing your isk in anything lucrative, be it speculating on the market, starting a research farm, fitting a ratting ship or funding merc corps to kill each other. anything that tickles your fancy. I'll write reports and let you know that your isk is in good hands. then when you want to cash out, I will return your isk + profit. of course, in reality I won't do any of the above, heck I won't even log in. however, I will pay out. this is not an attempt to just scam you for your pocket change. I am actually trying to make this scheme run for as long as I can keep it up.
SO IS THIS A SCAM?!
Well, sort of. more accurately, its fraud. in the real world I'd get in big trouble for trying this. however, this is eve so to hell with it. this is the perfect place to tinker with schemes like these and see how far we can go. also, I'd like to remind you all that at least 8 out of 10 offerings here are a scam with a weak backstory, trying to claim their legitimacy and insulting your intelligence. I'll spare you all that. there is no mockup story, no false pretense, none of that. this is a ponzi, nothing more nothing less.
SO HOW WILL YOU PAY OUT?
I will pay you directly from the pool of invested ISK. as long as people dont go for a bank run, I should manage to handle payouts one at a time. as long as people keep investing, I can keep paying out. of course, the longer this scheme runs, the harder it will be. worst case scenario I will have someone take a fall for the team. tears for one, riches for many.
LETS TALK NUMBERS
Deposits should be made in multiples of 100 mil. odd donations will be rounded down and will feed the pool. Minimum investment period is 1 week from the day of deposit. Withdrawals will be handled within 3 days of request.
PROFIT! 1 to 2 weeks: 7% profit of the base investment per week 3 to 4 weeks: 8.5% profit of the base investment per week more than 4 weeks: 10% profit of the base investment per week
so lets say you invest 100 mil and leave it with me for 5 weeks. upon cashing out, I will pay you 150 mil. I don't feel like math too much so I won't scale up your base investment with the interest percentage of the previous weeks. but with up to 40% interest per month, hey who's complaining!
HOW TO INVEST:
shoot me a mail or post in the thread with your desired investment. upon confirmation from my side, feel free to send your isk to me with description AWHO. from there let me do the rest.
once you wish to withdraw your isk, shoot me a mail and I will pay out your investment + interest within 3 days. mind you, I will round down your investment to the last full week your isk has been with me. be smart, invest full weeks.
THE RISK FACTOR:
I offer no collateral. kinda defeats the purpose. this is a high return short term investment based on nothing but good faith. The scheme could collapse. in this case a few people will have to bite the bullet for the collective. I could run away with your isk. don't worry I'm not after nickles and dimes. if there is anything I know about the market is to not cash out when the wave is rocketing up. so this risk is only a factor once we're above a certain isk pool and the pool is stagnant. I might be tempted then. however, looking at how things went previously, I actually turned out keeping my word to all investors. who knows!
in short, I offer the same securities as most of the offerings here, without insulting your intelligence and with a higher probability of actually paying out.
Well then, if you have any questions feel free to contact me.
Cheerio, Sanchez.
DISCLAIMER This is, ultimately, a fraudulent scheme. therefor, there is a risk of losing everything you invest. be smart about what you invest with me, don't invest what you cant afford to lose.
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Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
7
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Posted - 2014.06.11 09:10:00 -
[2] - Quote
Investors |
korrey
Red Federation RvB - RED Federation
15
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Posted - 2014.06.11 15:25:00 -
[3] - Quote
Awkward Sanchez wrote: Apparently there has been a violent spike in demand for shady loans and hilariously bad offerings here @ MD...
Since when? |
woogie womp
Shamrock Mission and Mining LTD
3
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Posted - 2014.06.11 17:18:00 -
[4] - Quote
Well, this Toats sounds like fun... I am in for 500mil |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
7
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Posted - 2014.06.11 17:33:00 -
[5] - Quote
woogie womp wrote:Well, this Toats sounds like fun... I am in for 500mil
Noted. send your isk to me with ticker AWHO, I'll handle it from there. |
De'Veldrin
Black Serpent Technologies The Unthinkables
2165
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Posted - 2014.06.11 17:37:00 -
[6] - Quote
I hve to hand it to you for the idea. +1 Intertubez to you good sir. GÇ£SandboxGÇ¥ does not mean that you will succeed at anything you attempt; it means you can attempt anything you want to succeed at. One of the largest obstacles in the way of your success is other players. |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
8
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Posted - 2014.06.11 17:38:00 -
[7] - Quote
I thank you. Intertubez make the world go round |
Far Wanderer
Bank of Far
71
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Posted - 2014.06.11 17:51:00 -
[8] - Quote
Well, this is awkward. I really am wasting my breath though, when you can avoid questions from Hexxx and RAW23 like that you must have some seriously devoted investors. --Elizabeth Norn |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
8
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Posted - 2014.06.11 21:37:00 -
[9] - Quote
I admit. its a bit awkward. however, thats not stopping the investors from going for it. status so far: quite successful. we'll see how many are left in 1 week time. |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
9
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Posted - 2014.06.12 12:30:00 -
[10] - Quote
Day 1: 300 mil invested by "covert investors". understandable, not everyone likes going public with their risky investments.
as promised, a mockup story:
Gila's have seemed to skyrocket since the latest patch. this was to be expected, a new skin is always a reason to rejoice. I did actually manage to turn over 1 or 2 gila's at a margin of about 17 mil last night, so if I were to be a legit investment, hat would have been about 11% profit. I won't be a douche and I dont want to discourage the prime risk takers, so your percentage is covered for next week. there seems to be a lot of fuss about datacores, people pingponging all day long between faulty sisi info, Mynna's manips and a whole lot of lemmings gleefully running towards their eminent doom. might get in there as well, but not with such a small pool. lastly, dont forget the category of useless items. vanity products have been quite popular lately, monocles are practically non-existant at the market now and surprisingly, fedo's are actually providing a decent turnover.
Sounds like work. go for it if you must. I'll just chill here with my success strategy: Blink Guidance Systems |
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Karim Rockefeller
Imperial Shipment Amarr Empire
3
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Posted - 2014.06.12 14:02:00 -
[11] - Quote
http://goo.gl/fgdmcb
Put me down for two hundred million interstellar kredits chap! |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
9
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Posted - 2014.06.12 14:39:00 -
[12] - Quote
Noted! send your webshipkurrency to me with ticker AWHO and I'll start the counter. that AWHO part serves no purpose by the way. but it feels official. |
Karim Rockefeller
Imperial Shipment Amarr Empire
5
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Posted - 2014.06.12 14:47:00 -
[13] - Quote
Awkward Sanchez wrote:Noted! send your webshipkurrency to me with ticker AWHO and I'll start the counter. that AWHO part serves no purpose by the way. but it feels official.
Galactic spacedollars sent.
I'll take a 'like' as collateral.
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Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
9
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Posted - 2014.06.12 14:49:00 -
[14] - Quote
Isk received, likes contracted. I'll reclaim them upon withdrawal. |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
9
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Posted - 2014.06.13 15:50:00 -
[15] - Quote
Day 2: Peaceful. with the addition of Karim's investment, the pool total is now at 500 mil. Woogie Womp seems to have had second thoughts about this venture, which is ok. I've had 2 more private inquiries, will see where that goes.
With 500 mil + my profits from the other day, I've had a bit more isk to toy around with. the Garmur has proven to be an interesting market, with decent margins and plenty of panic to ride the waves of buying and selling. I managed to flip one Orthrus as well, had to go all in with my funds but it was worth it: 100 mil on that ship alone. after that I kinda got bored, so I decided to snoop around a bit in the SCC lounge. There I met an old friend, mr Tom Fool. he was one of the first to jump in on the old AWHO offering. it seems he hasn't regretted it since, he was wise enough to jump in early and leave early as well. this lead us to a discussion concerning the stabilities of a Ponzi vs your chances at winning a lottery. my conclusion is this: in a lottery, one person wins, the rest don't. in a ponzi, a few people lose, the rest win. as long as a ponzi has a pretense of stability and is smart about handling payouts etc, a Ponzi can lead a long and healthy life before total collapse. bringing that knowledge back to our current situation, this is a golden age. like any market commodity, the ones who jump in early at the foot of the spike will see the biggest potential profit, the ones cashing out right before the crash will have a safe exit. the ones finding the perfect balance between the two will win big time.
anyhow, at some point the discussion sidetracked towards social security being a ponzi, housing being a safe investment and then football, so it was time to make my leave.
to sum it up: an old friend, a healthy discussion, a decent profit, a good time.
lets see what today will bring us!
oh and pro-tip: Blink & Guidance systems make the world go round. |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
9
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Posted - 2014.06.14 09:58:00 -
[16] - Quote
Day 3: Kinda slow. no new investors, few inquiries. ISK wise not much has changed. no problem, got the 7% for next week more than covered. Lets see what tomorrow will bring us! |
Slanderous Remark
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
0
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Posted - 2014.06.14 10:02:00 -
[17] - Quote
Right. I'll play. Sign me up for 100mil. you should do referral bonuses btw... help us help you and ourselves a bit, if ya know what I mean... |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
9
|
Posted - 2014.06.14 11:18:00 -
[18] - Quote
Noted. Send isk with ticker AWHO to me, I'll handle it from there.
Referral bonuses sounds like a solid idea. I'll see what I can do. |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
9
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Posted - 2014.06.16 14:54:00 -
[19] - Quote
Had a few days with the family, hence my delayed report.
I logged in today finding 3 new donations, 2 were at 100 mil and the last one was at 10 mil. I don't really know where that one came from but I'll accept it as a donation. the other two both held the correct ticker so they will be added to the pool. this makes the total pool of investors stand at 800 mil. in 3 days time we can expect the first withdrawals to happen, putting the scheme to the test: will it survive? I have good hopes so far, as I said earlier these early birds won't get burned.
quick market insights: Orthrus still seems to be a solid investment, just like the Gila. quick flips can net you good stacks of isk/hr at these margins. there seems to be a total panic among many of the investors around here, I was lurking the SCC again earlier today and overheard that, more than ever, people have agreed upon the fact that all items will go up in price, except for those items that will go down or remain unchanged (exact quote from Careby and a guy named Derp). so for this period I can only quote I LIKE IT: "INVEST IT WISELY"
Thats it for now.
stay tuned! |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
15
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Posted - 2014.06.20 14:10:00 -
[20] - Quote
Hi all, me again. So we've passed the first week. surprisingly, I haven't seen any withdrawal requests yet. reminder to my investors: percentages are rounded down to the last full week of me holding your isk hostage. if you feel like letting me know in advance when you'd like to withdraw your isk, feel free to do so. I'll line it up in my to-do list and you won't miss a day of profit (IE "cash me out in my 3rd week"' should do the trick).
as for the mockup story: sorry, not today. haven't been active enough to know whats going on. except for Geckos. stock up now while you can. seems like these little buggers are gonna cost a fortune soon.
anyway, . Awkward Honesty. the only mutually profitable scam in eve. |
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HeXxploiT
Little Red X
38
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Posted - 2014.06.20 22:22:00 -
[21] - Quote
If you just called this gambling, which is what it is, you'd have far more investors.
Funny what a name does. Gambling=legal Ponzi scheme=illegal. |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
17
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Posted - 2014.06.21 16:51:00 -
[22] - Quote
you're probably right, in the end a gamble is nothing but an honest ponzi after all. main difference though is that usually with a gamble, there will be only one winner and many losers. with a ponzi, the first ones to join are usually the ones that reap the benefits. last ones to jump in lose it all. what makes this look more like a gamble than a ponzi is the fact that I'm open about the fact that its a ponzi. usually one would try to mask that fact with fiction. However, I dare say that ponzis, as long as you know what they are and where they stand, will have a higher chance of returns. Awkward Honesty. the only mutually profitable scam in eve. |
Karim Rockefeller
Imperial Shipment Amarr Empire
6
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Posted - 2014.07.22 18:53:00 -
[23] - Quote
How are we doing there Sanchez? |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
29
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Posted - 2014.09.06 22:42:00 -
[24] - Quote
Pretty damn good! stopped the updates, le trophywife demanded a starburst trip to the outer rim. oh by the way, I cant thank you enough for fronting that one by the way... she can be very demanding.
anyway, IIRC you still have outstanding credit with me. may have to do the math a bit but I think its quite a bit by now. Cache out? Awkward Honesty. the only mutually profitable scam in eve. |
Karim Rockefeller
Imperial Shipment Amarr Empire
7
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Posted - 2014.09.08 19:04:00 -
[25] - Quote
Yes please! |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
29
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Posted - 2014.09.11 10:28:00 -
[26] - Quote
Karim Rockefeller:
invested 200 mil. 13 weeks of gathering dust while I'm on holiday @ 10% weekly = 260 mil. transferred 460 mil to your account. enjoy!
Awkward Honesty. the only mutually profitable scam in eve. |
Karim Rockefeller
Imperial Shipment Amarr Empire
8
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Posted - 2014.09.11 10:49:00 -
[27] - Quote
Awkward Sanchez wrote:Karim Rockefeller:
invested 200 mil. 13 weeks of gathering dust while I'm on holiday @ 10% weekly = 260 mil. transferred 460 mil to your account. enjoy!
Confirmed. Thanks friendo! +1 reputation point from me. |
Maria Crismas
Quebec Coalition Logistics
0
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Posted - 2014.09.12 14:22:00 -
[28] - Quote
i like that..
just for the lulz i'll send you a few hundred mils tonight when i get home.
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Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
31
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Posted - 2014.09.16 09:02:00 -
[29] - Quote
uhm SURE! ;-) been a while since I promoted this project, but lets get this show on the road! send your isk to me under ticker AWHO and I'll take it from there.
Awkward Honesty. the only mutually profitable scam in eve. |
Awkward Sanchez
Awkward Honesty Inc.
31
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Posted - 2014.09.16 22:56:00 -
[30] - Quote
Confirming for all to see that Maria has indeed sent isk. AWHO is up and running! join my program today and maybe you'll be the next Rockefeller...! Awkward Honesty. the only mutually profitable scam in eve. |
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