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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
543
|
Posted - 2014.08.06 17:23:00 -
[1] - Quote
News reaches Gutter Press of a sensational scandal involving a minor Gallente politician from one of the Caille city districts !
The politician, who cannot be named for legal reasons, has become involved in a debacle surrounding the use of drone lookalikes of people !
The politician is said to have sent a drone lookalike to visit his extra-marital lover, while he attended a public meeting discussing the dilapidated waste water treatment facilities in one of Caille's poorer districts.
The deception was uncovered, when a second extra-marital lover attempted to assault the lookalike in a jealous rage, an attack resulting in no injuries and only minor damage to the drone.
The politician's wife, meanwhile, was unreachable for comment, an automated message stated she was away on a submarine holiday with her husband. It is thought that this is another drone lookalike.
Opinions of Caille citizens on the incident were varied:
"Why would you send a machine lookalike to your lover while you go to a tedious political meeting?" asked one Jin-Mei fruit importer. "Two lovers, eh? Well, it is the Gallente way to push boundaries", said one Gallente fashionista. "Drones are people too!" said a drone rights activist of indeterminate ethnicity. "Boys and their toys. Hmph", said an activist for the unconventional relationships rights movement.
The manufacturer of the drone lookalikes, "Plastic Pals Inc.", a small company founded by ex-Creodron and DuVolle employees, said "Our plastic pals are fun to be with."
A Caille city police officer had this to say: "Sending a drone lookalike to your lover isn't a crime, but I wouldn't recommend it."
Conspiracy theorists on Gal-Net, were quick to extrapolate from this incident, with several questioning the reality of the Federation Senate. "What if all the Senators are drone lookalikes?" asked one. "Is that constitutional ?" asked another.
Gutter Press, News stories about real people of New Eden. Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours! |
Claudia Osyn
Mythic Security Service
866
|
Posted - 2014.08.06 19:39:00 -
[2] - Quote
I use lookalike drones to escape from family functions. Sloppy kisses from my great Aunt Lynda are not my thing. The lack of money is the root of all evil. |
Diana Kim
State Protectorate Caldari State
1210
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 00:40:00 -
[3] - Quote
Muck Raker wrote: "Why would you send a machine lookalike to your lover while you go to a tedious political meeting?" asked one Jin-Mei fruit importer.
Because BUSINESS is the most important thing! How this federal citizen can't understand such easy things!
Muck Raker wrote: "Two lovers, eh? Well, it is the Gallente way to push boundaries", said one Gallente fashionista.
Indecency and adultery is another reason why the federation must be destroyed!
Muck Raker wrote: "Drones are people too!" said a drone rights activist of indeterminate ethnicity.
And what is next? Ships are people are too? Or maybe even Sansha are people too? Or maybe gallenteans are people?!!
Muck Raker wrote: "Boys and their toys. Hmph", said an activist for the unconventional relationships rights movement.
All relations must be conventional. Unconventional relationships are threat to security, civil order and prosperity.
Muck Raker wrote: Conspiracy theorists on Gal-Net, were quick to extrapolate from this incident, with several questioning the reality of the Federation Senate. "What if all the Senators are drone lookalikes?" asked one.
Would it mean that drone lookalikes were responsible for that criminal anti-hunam "Operation" Highlander? Probably sending such lookalikes to senate instead of themselves is a gallentean way of saving their worthless lives.
I think, that disregarding who made decision about this atrocious operaion, both lookalike drones and their flesh prototypes must be detained, put under tribunal and executed for crimes against humanity and Caldari peoples. |
Claudia Osyn
Mythic Security Service
866
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 03:31:00 -
[4] - Quote
Diana Kim wrote:Muck Raker wrote: Conspiracy theorists on Gal-Net, were quick to extrapolate from this incident, with several questioning the reality of the Federation Senate. "What if all the Senators are drone lookalikes?" asked one.
Would it mean that drone lookalikes were responsible for that criminal anti-hunam "Operation" Highlander? Probably sending such lookalikes to senate instead of themselves is a gallentean way of saving their worthless lives. I think, that disregarding who made decision about this atrocious operaion, both lookalike drones and their flesh prototypes must be detained, put under tribunal and executed for crimes against humanity and Caldari peoples. What was so wrong and "anti-human" about Operation Highlander? It was a fairly straight forward attack on a military target. The lack of money is the root of all evil. |
Kayagainen Iwalula
Etsala Trading Company
103
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 04:35:00 -
[5] - Quote
Pathetic, but not wholly surprising. You wouldn't see something as degrading as this happen on New Caldari Prime, that's for sure. |
Elmund Egivand
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
40
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 07:35:00 -
[6] - Quote
Diana Kim wrote: And what is next? Ships are people are too?
My Breacher is a person! |
Anabella Rella
Gradient
1735
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 15:31:00 -
[7] - Quote
This explains a lot.
I posit that Kim-baka is indeed a malfunctioning drone. When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around. |
Pieter Tuulinen
In Exile. Imperial Outlaws.
3916
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 15:33:00 -
[8] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:Diana Kim wrote: And what is next? Ships are people are too?
My Breacher is a person!
Your Breacher is a loose collection of shipyard scrap metal holding close formation. The last time I blew up a Breacher, the killmail gave me third place in top damage after Metal Fatigue and Ice Pitting. "You let one of them go, but that's nothing new is it? Every now and then a little victim is allowed to escape; because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions." "Only a killer would know that..." |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
702
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 16:08:00 -
[9] - Quote
That's indeed why I hire Sebiestor engineers. They can take a scrap pile, make it fly and then kick your everlovin' arse with it. It's a thrill and a joy to let them loose on the manufactorum floors with only the finest resources to work with and I have to say the Doodled Fleet vessels stand as testament to their skill.
I know I'm beating a dead slaver hound here, but I can't wait until we get to the point where our State and the Republic gets to work together on brand new vessels. Efficiency, the best electronics systems in New Eden, speed, shield strength and adaptability that'll rival anything else out among the stars. Best of all, field repairs will only require duct tape and a shot of grease.
Obviously, I doubt they'll win any beauty contests, but then I've never had any patience with ship designers that focus on aesthetics over performance. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Bryen Verrisai
EVE University Ivy League
230
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 16:14:00 -
[10] - Quote
If this isn't turned into a Rom-Com by next year, I'll be shocked. |
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Jade Blackwind
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
141
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 17:12:00 -
[11] - Quote
Diana Kim wrote: "Drones are people too!" said a drone rights activist of indeterminate ethnicity. And what is next? Ships are people are too? Or maybe even Sansha are people too? Or maybe gallenteans are people?!!.
I think, I understand you. Have you tried speaking to Scherezad? She's Caldari, and she knows so much more about the infomorph brain (or whatever contingency that passes for one) than me.
Her experience and her wisdom might cure you.
...That is, I don't know is she even still around. The world rotates so fast Oh well, never mind.
|
Pieter Tuulinen
In Exile. Imperial Outlaws.
3917
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 17:33:00 -
[12] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:That's indeed why I hire Sebiestor engineers. They can take a scrap pile, make it fly and then kick your everlovin' arse with it. It's a thrill and a joy to let them loose on the manufactorum floors with only the finest resources to work with and I have to say the Doodled Fleet vessels stand as testament to their skill.
I know I'm beating a dead slaver hound here, but I can't wait until we get to the point where our State and the Republic gets to work together on brand new vessels. Efficiency, the best electronics systems in New Eden, speed, shield strength and adaptability that'll rival anything else out among the stars. Best of all, field repairs will only require duct tape and a shot of grease.
Obviously, I doubt they'll win any beauty contests, but then I've never had any patience with ship designers that focus on aesthetics over performance.
They are experts at doing a little with a lot, true, but it's a lie to say their Electronics systems are the best in New Eden. I used to have many Sebiestor on my ground teams and they reacted with baffled bewilderment to my Griffin's E-WAR suite. When I tried to get them to work on the Gravitonic Reactor/Drive Core system of my Cerberus I think half of them requested a transfer whilst the other half considered worshipping the damn thing.
Giving credit where it's due is one thing, but let's not get carried away. "You let one of them go, but that's nothing new is it? Every now and then a little victim is allowed to escape; because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions." "Only a killer would know that..." |
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
703
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 18:09:00 -
[13] - Quote
OUR Electronics are the best in New Eden. So are our shields. Combine that and our missiles with their engineering, i.e. amazing speed, maneuverability, adaptability and so forth and you have the scariest ships in New Eden. Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
582
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 18:09:00 -
[14] - Quote
I've always thought some Gallente people look rather fake.
Hmmm. |
Pieter Tuulinen
In Exile. Imperial Outlaws.
3917
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 18:26:00 -
[15] - Quote
Jinari Otsito wrote:OUR Electronics are the best in New Eden. So are our shields. Combine that and our missiles with their engineering, i.e. amazing speed, maneuverability, adaptability and so forth and you have the scariest ships in New Eden.
No arguments, there. "You let one of them go, but that's nothing new is it? Every now and then a little victim is allowed to escape; because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions." "Only a killer would know that..." |
Desiderya
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Imperial Outlaws.
791
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 18:50:00 -
[16] - Quote
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Your Breacher is a loose collection of shipyard scrap metal holding close formation. The last time I blew up a Breacher, the killmail gave me third place in top damage after Metal Fatigue and Ice Pitting.
Tss, such harsh mockery of my fourth-favorite ship in the class. Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise. |
Pieter Tuulinen
In Exile. Imperial Outlaws.
3917
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 21:25:00 -
[17] - Quote
Desiderya wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Your Breacher is a loose collection of shipyard scrap metal holding close formation. The last time I blew up a Breacher, the killmail gave me third place in top damage after Metal Fatigue and Ice Pitting.
Tss, such harsh mockery of my fourth-favorite ship in the class.
Based on the many times you've had to swim home after flying one. "You let one of them go, but that's nothing new is it? Every now and then a little victim is allowed to escape; because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions." "Only a killer would know that..." |
Diana Kim
State Protectorate Caldari State
1210
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 22:28:00 -
[18] - Quote
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Elmund Egivand wrote:Diana Kim wrote: And what is next? Ships are people are too?
My Breacher is a person! Your Breacher is a loose collection of shipyard scrap metal holding close formation. The last time I blew up a Breacher, the killmail gave me third place in top damage after Metal Fatigue and Ice Pitting. Duct tape. You forgot duct tape, Tuulinen-haan. This is the second most important part of a minmatar ship after rusty scrapmetal. Or the same close formation would become not so close formation on the next ship turn and fly away in different directions, capacitor battery turns left, while shield recharger turns right |
Diana Kim
State Protectorate Caldari State
1210
|
Posted - 2014.08.07 22:39:00 -
[19] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:Diana Kim wrote:Muck Raker wrote: Conspiracy theorists on Gal-Net, were quick to extrapolate from this incident, with several questioning the reality of the Federation Senate. "What if all the Senators are drone lookalikes?" asked one.
Would it mean that drone lookalikes were responsible for that criminal anti-hunam "Operation" Highlander? Probably sending such lookalikes to senate instead of themselves is a gallentean way of saving their worthless lives. I think, that disregarding who made decision about this atrocious operaion, both lookalike drones and their flesh prototypes must be detained, put under tribunal and executed for crimes against humanity and Caldari peoples. What was so wrong and "anti-human" about Operation Highlander? It was a fairly straight forward attack on a military target. It was attack on inhabited Caldari homeworld outside of war zone, determined by convention signed with CONCORD. Gallenteans poured infantry on peaceful world through planetary defenses. And when the said defenses moved to low orbit to suppress insurgency, caused by gallentean intervention and occupation attempt, they were ambushed by gallentean capital fleet. Capital size-battle happened on the low planetary orbit and remains of enormous destroyed capital ships, including whole titan, fell down on inhabited by Caldari planet. Titan class vessels have on board quite large number of conventional capital ship ammunition plus doomsday ammunition. If all these stock would detonate on impact together with ship reactors, that wouldn't be just like falling a hull of titan down. It wouldn't be even like a couple of shots of doomsday on the planet surface. This would be a planetary extinction level event.
Caused by gallente...
Luckily, by effort of Adm. Yanala, this didn't happen, but the planet and civilians still recieved a lot of damage from fall of titan and other capital ship hulls. And only gallenteans are to blame in this.
If they wanted to just destroy these ships, that were, by the way, guarding OUR planet, they could have straight attacked them on high planetary orbit, so their remains wouldn't threat the planet.
But noo~ they lured them first into most vulnerable to Caldari civilians position.
You want to know why? This is simple. Please remember why this war has started, and what gallenteans was doing on Caldari Prime, and what caused our resolution to intervene and take our home back.
It were gallenteans, who were screaming to "Exterminate all Caldari". And they still continue doing this. And this is why we are fighting this war. |
Elmund Egivand
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
41
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 01:57:00 -
[20] - Quote
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Desiderya wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Your Breacher is a loose collection of shipyard scrap metal holding close formation. The last time I blew up a Breacher, the killmail gave me third place in top damage after Metal Fatigue and Ice Pitting.
Tss, such harsh mockery of my fourth-favorite ship in the class. Based on the many times you've had to swim home after flying one.
You had been swindled! Mine never falls apart by herself. She has to be shot to pieces instead! Otherwise she will lead me into the breach and deliver me from harm, returning mostly intact, nothing a bit of welding, rewiring and calibrations can't fix.
Diana Kim wrote:
Duct tape. You forgot duct tape, Tuulinen-haan. This is the second most important part of a minmatar ship after rusty scrapmetal. Or the same close formation would become not so close formation on the next ship turn and fly away in different directions, capacitor battery turns left, while shield recharger turns right Lol
Duct tape is only temporary fix. Our ships are assembled with welding, riveting and with large screws. Duct tape is what we use when bits are coming loose and panels are coming off and we are still a way off a station with repair facilities. Duct tape is also for making mines and demo charges out of random parts. |
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Desiderya
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Imperial Outlaws.
792
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 10:45:00 -
[21] - Quote
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Desiderya wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Your Breacher is a loose collection of shipyard scrap metal holding close formation. The last time I blew up a Breacher, the killmail gave me third place in top damage after Metal Fatigue and Ice Pitting.
Tss, such harsh mockery of my fourth-favorite ship in the class. Based on the many times you've had to swim home after flying one.
People just prefer to shoot me first, so my stunning looks usually save your chin. But my Breachers are kind of designed to fall apart. Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise. |
Stitcher
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
3913
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 14:44:00 -
[22] - Quote
The question I'm inclined to ask is just how fake and plastic this politician must be if his robotic duplicate could conceivably imitate him well enough to fool two women who intended to have sex with him.
I mean, even the very best drones don't stand up well to close and intimate scrutiny. Implying either that the politician in question has all the personality of a lump of silicon, or else that his girlfriends between them have the combined intellect of one.
Or both.
EDIT: also the editors went with "Drone Double Debacle"? as opposed to "Drone Double Trouble"? Alliteration's Alright, but Rhyme is Sublime. An in-character blog and a video: http://verinsjournal.blogspot.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1mbsgo738
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Morwen Lagann
Tyrathlion Interstellar
1248
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 14:48:00 -
[23] - Quote
On the other hand, at least he's got his head screwed on tight enough that he sent his actual self to do his actual job.
Disappointing that nobody's picked up on that yet. Morwen Lagann CEO, Tyrathlion Interstellar Owner, The Golden Masque
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Stitcher
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
3913
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 14:55:00 -
[24] - Quote
Question is, would anybody have noticed if he hadn't? An in-character blog and a video: http://verinsjournal.blogspot.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1mbsgo738
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Pieter Tuulinen
In Exile. Imperial Outlaws.
3919
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 15:08:00 -
[25] - Quote
Desiderya wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Desiderya wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Your Breacher is a loose collection of shipyard scrap metal holding close formation. The last time I blew up a Breacher, the killmail gave me third place in top damage after Metal Fatigue and Ice Pitting.
Tss, such harsh mockery of my fourth-favorite ship in the class. Based on the many times you've had to swim home after flying one. People just prefer to shoot me first, so my stunning looks usually save your chin. But my Breachers are kind of designed to fall apart.
Oh yes, I'm used to saving your stunning little ass from being shot at. "You let one of them go, but that's nothing new is it? Every now and then a little victim is allowed to escape; because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions." "Only a killer would know that..." |
Claudia Osyn
Mythic Security Service
867
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 15:37:00 -
[26] - Quote
Diana Kim wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:Diana Kim wrote:Muck Raker wrote: Conspiracy theorists on Gal-Net, were quick to extrapolate from this incident, with several questioning the reality of the Federation Senate. "What if all the Senators are drone lookalikes?" asked one.
Would it mean that drone lookalikes were responsible for that criminal anti-hunam "Operation" Highlander? Probably sending such lookalikes to senate instead of themselves is a gallentean way of saving their worthless lives. I think, that disregarding who made decision about this atrocious operaion, both lookalike drones and their flesh prototypes must be detained, put under tribunal and executed for crimes against humanity and Caldari peoples. What was so wrong and "anti-human" about Operation Highlander? It was a fairly straight forward attack on a military target. It was attack on inhabited Caldari homeworld outside of war zone, determined by convention signed with CONCORD. Gallenteans poured infantry on peaceful world through planetary defenses. And when the said defenses moved to low orbit to suppress insurgency, caused by gallentean intervention and occupation attempt, they were ambushed by gallentean capital fleet. Capital size-battle happened on the low planetary orbit and remains of enormous destroyed capital ships, including whole titan, fell down on inhabited by Caldari planet. Titan class vessels have on board quite large number of conventional capital ship ammunition plus doomsday ammunition. If all these stock would detonate on impact together with ship reactors, that wouldn't be just like falling a hull of titan down. It wouldn't be even like a couple of shots of doomsday on the planet surface. This would be a planetary extinction level event. Caused by gallente... Luckily, by effort of Adm. Yanala, this didn't happen, but the planet and civilians still recieved a lot of damage from fall of titan and other capital ship hulls. And only gallenteans are to blame in this. If they wanted to just destroy these ships, that were, by the way, guarding OUR planet, they could have straight attacked them on high planetary orbit, so their remains wouldn't threat the planet. But noo~ they lured them first into most vulnerable to Caldari civilians position. You want to know why? This is simple. Please remember why this war has started, and what gallenteans was doing on Caldari Prime, and what caused our resolution to intervene and take our home back. It were gallenteans, who were screaming to "Exterminate all Caldari". And they still continue doing this. And this is why we are fighting this war. An attack promped by cowardly threats of violence against Gallente civilians by provist forces preceded by an unlawful incursion into sovereign Gallente space, the attack was justified. It was a stupid move on the Caldari navy to move that titan closer to the planet anyway, who wouldn't bring orbital support to an engagement like that? The only reason that titan fell on that planet is because provists were too arrogant. They could have left the titan in high orbit knowing it was a priority target and destruction in low orbit would be a disaster. The lack of money is the root of all evil. |
Stitcher
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
3914
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 16:05:00 -
[27] - Quote
Operation Highlander was arguably a defeat for the Federation, or at the very best a Pyrrhic victory. Sure, they accomplished their objective of destroying the Shiigeru and breaking the orbital blockade, but the ground remained in Caldari hands thanks to some very tenacious fighting and they sustained heavy losses in orbit.
Arcurio was formally handed over to Ishukone's care recently and despite the absence of any Caldari military forces to protect it the Gallenteans have not made any attempt at another invasion.
Why? Because the most practical thing for both sides to do now is to satisfy themselves with the status quo and move on. Enough damage has been done recriminating over the past and who is to blame for it. The Caldari have what we want: further saber-rattling serves only to jeopardize the very thing that we risked so much to reclaim. An in-character blog and a video: http://verinsjournal.blogspot.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1mbsgo738
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
585
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 16:11:00 -
[28] - Quote
Stitcher wrote:The question I'm inclined to ask is just how fake and plastic this politician must be if his robotic duplicate could conceivably imitate him well enough to fool two women who intended to have sex with him.
I mean, even the very best drones don't stand up well to close and intimate scrutiny. Implying either that the politician in question has all the personality of a lump of silicon, or else that his girlfriends between them have the combined intellect of one.
The other possibility, is that one or both of the girlfriends, were also drone doubles ! |
Stitcher
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
3914
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 16:15:00 -
[29] - Quote
pretty sure at that point we'd just be entering a classic farce. An in-character blog and a video: http://verinsjournal.blogspot.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1mbsgo738
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
585
|
Posted - 2014.08.08 16:26:00 -
[30] - Quote
Are you suggesting that being a capsuleer is not a farce in itself ? |
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