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Aric Nahl
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 11:46:00 -
[1]
Right, despite all intentions for the better, my inner child occasionally surfaces... usually in response to some twit in local chat bemoaning his recent loss or my recent escape.
Now, I never initiate smack in local, but once the battle-lust is upon me, or perhaps the exquisite exhillaration of a delightfully executed escape, my smack-talking abilities come out.
What dissapoints most however, is rank amateurs. I don't mean the poor bastards flying ships they can't really handle well... I mean the dimwits that vent their spleens so poorly, so inefectively. So, for those that have lost even more of the collective respect of their fellow space pilots, I have a few pointers on the high art of Smack. I welcome comments and criticisms.
Certain words and phrases are key to effective Smack. There is no need to curse, as it really is counter-productive, and displays your own frustration. Never, ever give your recent victim/aggressor the satisfaction of knowing just how much the incident hurt you.
Kiddo Personally one of my favorites. It is not only slightly condescending, but works on multiple levels. A child playing the game hates to be reminded he is a child. An adult likewise feels somewhat out of sorts as there is no good reply to this--any argument he poses is just silly.
Hush Often followed by "Kiddo" or "Child"... In my not-so-terribly humble opinion, this beats the pants out of "STFU". Again, the condescension factor multiplies and magnifies their pain.
"Good fight" Absolutely ideal if they are moaning about the recent loss of their Industrial. This is even better if you remain perfectly civil, and then offer suggestions, such as how to fit their ship in the future. The key to that is to offer the simplest of fittings, anything a week-old player ought to know. Again, the unstated implication is that the agrieved pilot is a screaming moron.
"Need that stab back?" Even if they had no stabs fitted, it makes them look silly in local, and even funnier if they start squawking about not fitting them.
When the recently exploded pilot gets truly insane in local chat, the proper response is not "Get over it, it's just a game". The correct reply is "Uh-oh, does daddy know you are using his computer again?".
When accused by one of those idiots that complains about use of stabs, freely admit you use them. Hell, admit to using 5 or 6--if you got away. Also then admit that it would really have been a shame if he had the skills and firepower to insta-pop you and take the giant load of Megacyte you were carrying.
When solo, and escaping a gate camp by more than a couple of ships, especially superior ones, a simple o/ in local will suffice. No need to brag loudly. Although, if the campers are notorious knuckleheads, "GL with the camping, ladies" may be acceptable. If you do this PRIOR to escaping the camp, so much the better.
If your recent victim claims to have been AFK when you podded him, admit that you too, were indeed AFK.
Correct their egregious spelling and grammatical errors. Don't stop. This absolutely sets them off... and not having English as a primary language is no excuse. Claim to be a native Kalahari Bushman, and yet are able to spell accurately.
Ahh, the list goes on, but if I must be hear local smack, put some effort into it, please. It makes the atmosphere so much more entertaining.
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Tsun Lao
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Posted - 2006.07.18 11:48:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Tsun Lao on 18/07/2006 11:48:17 *yawn*
We have seen it all before.
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elorran
Minmatar
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Posted - 2006.07.18 11:53:00 -
[3]
To the camping pirates...
"you know bear baiting is illegal, right?" - - Infinite Style Incorporated - Chorus of Dawn
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Ling Xiao
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Posted - 2006.07.18 11:57:00 -
[4]
Originally by: Tsun Lao Edited by: Tsun Lao on 18/07/2006 11:48:17 *yawn*
We have seen it all before.
Hush.
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Alliaanna Dalaii
Gallente
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Posted - 2006.07.18 11:59:00 -
[5]
Originally by: elorran To the camping pirates...
"you know bear baiting is illegal, right?"
LOL
If any carebear/industrial charachter i was camping made a witty comment like that instead of the usual smack i'd prob let them past
Alliaanna Official Spokestard of=-= Does Not Compute =-=
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Crumplecorn
Gallente
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Posted - 2006.07.18 12:02:00 -
[6]
This is rather good stuff
I do the 'Hush' thing to people IRL. ----------
Always Up To SomethingÖ One of us is really thick, and I hope its you - Kalaan Oratay |
Ras Blumin
Atomic Battle Penguins
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Posted - 2006.07.18 12:18:00 -
[7]
Aye, good stuff
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Sigurd Ross
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Posted - 2006.07.18 12:24:00 -
[8]
When the inevitable "I am a professional engineer/teacher/whatever in real life and I am married and have three kids" epeen waving begins in a prolonged flamewar, I like to turn the pointless posturing against the user, by agreeing and adding hooey to make it even more ridiculous than it really is.
Such as:
"Yeah! You must be really lucky, to have time to play this 'nerd' game with us 'losers' without your Japanese supermodel trophy wife minding that you'll be late for your hang-gliding session with her tonight, followed by wild monkey sex on a pile of hundred dollar bills."
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elorran
Minmatar
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Posted - 2006.07.18 12:25:00 -
[9]
When asked for a ransom that you're not likely to pay...
"Would you like milk and cookies with that?" - - Infinite Style Incorporated - Chorus of Dawn
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Barak Elneck
High Contrast Remix
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Posted - 2006.07.18 12:27:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Sigurd Ross When the inevitable "I am a professional engineer/teacher/whatever in real life and I am married and have three kids" epeen waving begins in a prolonged flamewar, I like to turn the pointless posturing against the user, by agreeing and adding hooey to make it even more ridiculous than it really is.
Such as:
"Yeah! You must be really lucky, to have time to play this 'nerd' game with us 'losers' without your Japanese supermodel trophy wife minding that you'll be late for your hang-gliding session with her tonight, followed by wild monkey sex on a pile of hundred dollar bills."
im late to my hang-gliding sessions all the time!
haha loved your post
Insert Signature Here. |
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Al Haquis
Minmatar
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Posted - 2006.07.18 13:31:00 -
[11]
I find when talking to the young people you need to talk to them in therir own language.
So here comes my favorits.
1. WTFPWN U SUCKER.
2. ICH BEEN DA R0X0R
3. GET YOURSELF DUCH TAPE.
4. LOL NO POD LEFT IN SYS, HAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!
5. Please come again :)
With Love from Al Haquis
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Council Member, Tahiri Warrior Masuat'aa Forums
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Crumplecorn
Gallente
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Posted - 2006.07.18 13:55:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Al Haquis Crap in CAPITALS
I do believe the OP referenced material of this quality...... ----------
Always Up To SomethingÖ One of us is really thick, and I hope its you - Kalaan Oratay |
Na'Thuul
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:05:00 -
[13]
Amateurs.... We were messing around Baratar just after our move to Khanid, and bumped into this fine young gentleman. To keep those ebil mods at bay, I have censored names of all non-Sanguine players. I present to you, Local smack, Sanguine style:
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > hmmm you guys from sanguine legion look like a good war target
Mi Lai > Ask your CEO to put up the vote
Na'Thuul > we'll be waiting =)
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > there is no ceo in my corp
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > all rl friends..therefor we are all equal...hmmm..
Mi Lai > thats very cute
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you know we may come to kill you...blood inc already deserted from war...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > we have no targets :/
Na'Thuul > makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > dont ..
Random local dude > whats goin on?
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > just thinking..
Na'Thuul > must be hard
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > i was looking for the next war ...
Random local dude > o.o ouch
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > and seems i found some nice guys here
Na'Thuul > we love wardecs, and will be waiting eagerly for yours ^^
* Mi Lai blows xxxxxxxxxxxxx a kiss
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > funny..the same thing blood inc said 1 week ago..
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > now i cant find one of them :/
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > oh wait....yes...saw [BL-IN Pilot] a few days ago...the lows of his raven were so crowded by wcs...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > thank you Mi lai
Na'Thuul > Missing your Tempest maybe?
Na'Thuul > ^^
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > if i miss my tempest? which one of 14 lost so far?
Na'Thuul > u lost 14 temps?
Na'Thuul > wow
Na'Thuul > oh well ^^
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > yes..and 5 typhoons
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > is nothin compared whit some other ppls i know
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you know...bullets kills
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > can i ask something?
Na'Thuul > I'm pretty sure you will anyways, so go ahead
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > dont act like you know me Smile i wouldnt ask that if i was ready to shoot the question
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > but now whit your permision..
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > where is your home system?
Waenn Ironstaff > Hibi
Na'Thuul > Jita
Waenn Ironstaff > and mamet mostly
Evil Sulu > Rens too!
Mi Lai > I just hang around sleazy bars mostly
Evil Sulu > I'm dating a stripper on Rens VIII
* Na'Thuul moons sulu
Evil Sulu > She dances just for me I tell you
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you know...travel is one of my hobbys but not that much...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > can you come closer? like goudyah?
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > is free now that the others left
Na'Thuul > no good stripclubs there
Evil Sulu > Plus they water dont the drinks
Evil Sulu > *down
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > i can try...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > oh well ..was fun talking whit you....i tihnk we will declare war in 2-3 days...good luck and have e a nice week
Mi Lai > Lovely, looking forward to it
Na'Thuul > donkeysmell
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you have to love bravery... ---
Sanguine Legion - Forums |
Novarei
Ninth Column
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:21:00 -
[14]
My dad can beat up your dad so STFU n0b.
(not a typo)
--------------------
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Jim McGregor
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:26:00 -
[15]
Yeah, smack can be very entertaining if done with some intelligence. Ive been out-smacked lots of times though. Have to work on that. --- Eve Wiki | Eve Tribune | Eve Pirate |
Avon
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:26:00 -
[16]
I'd post chatlogs from Fatballs, but I'd end up banned from the forums, and he'd end up banned from the game. That guy needs therapy.
The Battleships is not and should not be a solo pwnmobile - Oveur |
Lisento Slaven
Amarr
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:34:00 -
[17]
Anyone who has fought me (been killed by me or killed me) will know my response: ".....=("
The frown works good when they're angry.
Every time I run a gate camp /me poo's on this system. TSDS get poo'd on a lot. ---
Lisento Slaven wants to be a Space Whaler in EVE.
Put in space whales!
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MrBadidea
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:45:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Na'Thuul Amateurs.... We were messing around Baratar just after our move to Khanid, and bumped into this fine young gentleman. To keep those ebil mods at bay, I have censored names of all non-Sanguine players. I present to you, Local smack, Sanguine style:
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > hmmm you guys from sanguine legion look like a good war target
Mi Lai > Ask your CEO to put up the vote
Na'Thuul > we'll be waiting =)
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > there is no ceo in my corp
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > all rl friends..therefor we are all equal...hmmm..
Mi Lai > thats very cute
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you know we may come to kill you...blood inc already deserted from war...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > we have no targets :/
Na'Thuul > makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > dont ..
Random local dude > whats goin on?
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > just thinking..
Na'Thuul > must be hard
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > i was looking for the next war ...
Random local dude > o.o ouch
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > and seems i found some nice guys here
Na'Thuul > we love wardecs, and will be waiting eagerly for yours ^^
* Mi Lai blows xxxxxxxxxxxxx a kiss
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > funny..the same thing blood inc said 1 week ago..
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > now i cant find one of them :/
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > oh wait....yes...saw [BL-IN Pilot] a few days ago...the lows of his raven were so crowded by wcs...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > thank you Mi lai
Na'Thuul > Missing your Tempest maybe?
Na'Thuul > ^^
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > if i miss my tempest? which one of 14 lost so far?
Na'Thuul > u lost 14 temps?
Na'Thuul > wow
Na'Thuul > oh well ^^
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > yes..and 5 typhoons
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > is nothin compared whit some other ppls i know
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you know...bullets kills
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > can i ask something?
Na'Thuul > I'm pretty sure you will anyways, so go ahead
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > dont act like you know me Smile i wouldnt ask that if i was ready to shoot the question
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > but now whit your permision..
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > where is your home system?
Waenn Ironstaff > Hibi
Na'Thuul > Jita
Waenn Ironstaff > and mamet mostly
Evil Sulu > Rens too!
Mi Lai > I just hang around sleazy bars mostly
Evil Sulu > I'm dating a stripper on Rens VIII
* Na'Thuul moons sulu
Evil Sulu > She dances just for me I tell you
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you know...travel is one of my hobbys but not that much...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > can you come closer? like goudyah?
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > is free now that the others left
Na'Thuul > no good stripclubs there
Evil Sulu > Plus they water dont the drinks
Evil Sulu > *down
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > i can try...
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > oh well ..was fun talking whit you....i tihnk we will declare war in 2-3 days...good luck and have e a nice week
Mi Lai > Lovely, looking forward to it
Na'Thuul > donkeysmell
xxxxxxxxxxxxx > you have to love bravery...
*clap*
I think I know who it was too, but I wouldn't like to give that away ;)
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Havelcek
Eve Defence Force Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:45:00 -
[19]
roflmao....Kalahari Bushman....The Gods Must Be Crazy ftw!
Damn you for making me lol at work
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DukDodgerz
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:46:00 -
[20]
smack is for tards...m'kay
FRODO HAS FAILED; BUSH HAS THE RING!!! The Hippo mating ritual |
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Tehyarec
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:58:00 -
[21]
Originally by: DukDodgerz smack is for tards...m'kay
Beat me to it
Silverleaf Foundation Website & Shop |
Benefactor
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Posted - 2006.07.18 14:59:00 -
[22]
I like to yell KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN when I am defeated.
Then again, I like to yell KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN when I win.
... come to think of it, I like to yell KHAAAAAAAAAAAN for a lot of reasons, I think I almost did it during foreplay
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Ujio Noki
Puppets on Steroids Veritas Immortalis
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Posted - 2006.07.18 15:44:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Aric Nahl Correct their egregious spelling and grammatical errors. Don't stop. This absolutely sets them off... and not having English as a primary language is no excuse. Claim to be a native Kalahari Bushman, and yet are able to spell accurately.
i love doing that |
Nicocat
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 18:48:00 -
[24]
I don't smack, 9 times out of 10, until someone starts it up first. Like taunting my Rupture. You think it doesn't already know it looks like ass? I just can't tolerate such insensitivity and rudeness.
Oh, and taunting a professional coward for being a professional coward isn't wise, as it's usually followed by gang-based pain and a happy "gf" in local ;)
---------------------------- The opinions expressed by Nico do not reflect his corporation. He's just an ass.
-Alexi
Yes, I PvP in a Hookbill. How insane am I? EVE-Mail me and tell me! |
Kurren
Farscape Mining
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Posted - 2006.07.18 19:16:00 -
[25]
I've always found that the best smack talk is
"Pay up!"
One of these days... I'll be patient enough to say it... --- --- --- ---
SobaKai.com
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HippoKing
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 19:21:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Aric Nahl "Need that stab back?" Even if they had no stabs fitted, it makes them look silly in local, and even funnier if they start squawking about not fitting them.
...
If your recent victim claims to have been AFK when you podded him, admit that you too, were indeed AFK.
Correct their egregious spelling and grammatical errors. Don't stop. This absolutely sets them off... and not having English as a primary language is no excuse. Claim to be a native Kalahari Bushman, and yet are able to spell accurately.
Much as I dislike encouraging it, those made me laugh.
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blacknight9
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.07.18 19:52:00 -
[27]
Edited by: blacknight9 on 18/07/2006 19:52:01 This has got to be one of the best threads.I was laughing just reading the comments. Smack talk in local is fun if it's done in an intelligent way just like someone in an earlier post said it.
Keep it coming if u know what you're talking
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Joerd Toastius
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Posted - 2006.07.18 19:58:00 -
[28]
Concur with the OP. Good smack is brilliant, but also exceedingly rare.
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Tammarr
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Posted - 2006.07.18 20:20:00 -
[29]
I always go "Meep meep" in local when escaping a gatecamp.
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doyoulikemytightsweater
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Posted - 2006.07.18 21:09:00 -
[30]
best (worst) smack I really saw was by some illiterate guy how couldnt contain his anger about thinking we use alts to enrage allies (yes this is an alt ;)
Compiled essentially quoting his words lead to him having actually typed the following: ------ WE MAD U ALT MAKE WE MAD MAD ALT NO SORRY WE MAD YOU PAY BE AFRAID MAD ------
Millions of years in evolution - and then that
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