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Shirley Serious
Gutter Press
108
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Posted - 2015.04.11 08:14:05 -
[1] - Quote
Gutter Press has recently learned that a Holder in Kador region has proposed a solution to the Minmatar Question.
The Answer, according to the Holder, is to replace all Minmatar slaves in the Empire, with Ealurians.
"I have been studying this problem for some decades, and the answer recently came to me. If we stop breeding new Minmatar, and instead, increase Ealurian breeding, then, well, the problem solves itself in a century or so.", said the Holder, a planetary Lady in the Parrosa constellation.
"I have been training Ealurians for some time, and they have proven adept at all tasks I have given them, even complex engineering and administrative roles, such as maintaining my Holdings shipping fleet, or managing the accounts. This shows they can take over all roles for which the Empire employs Minmatar."
This proposal has met with criticism from other Holders, and Imperial officials.
"Ealurians ? I find it hard to believe that they can be trained to operate a starship", said a retired Navy officer.
"And what of the Reclaiming ? And the cultivation of the souls of the Minmatar ? Are we to just abandon them to the Deceiver ?", asked a priest.
"Oh, I find the Ealurians quite agreeable. They have such adorable curly hair", said one Holder Lady.
"Well, it would be nice to end the Minmatar menace once and for all, but that is hardly the way to do it", said another Holder Lord.
With this amount of argument, it seems that Answers to the Minmatar Question remain elusive.
Gutter Press. News. |
Wendrika Hydreiga
284
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Posted - 2015.04.11 08:21:31 -
[2] - Quote
I still prefer my solution. Transforming the oppressed into genetically enhanced cybernetic entities just sounds right! It worked for me, so....
At least they are trying their option, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing. And what the heck is an Eulurian? |
Gwen Ikiryo
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
568
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Posted - 2015.04.11 08:29:02 -
[3] - Quote
Sterilizing half of your population does not seem like a very smart idea. |
Corraidhin Farsaidh
Farsaidh's Freeborn
1078
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Posted - 2015.04.11 10:01:01 -
[4] - Quote
Gwen Ikiryo wrote:Sterilizing half of your population does not seem like a very smart idea.
Make it the male half and neuter them whilst your at it and it sounds a damn fine idea...just think of all those frustrated Amarrian ladies travelling the galaxies... |
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
470
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Posted - 2015.04.11 14:20:44 -
[5] - Quote
Um. While I've been living here (and admittedly I haven't been staying with the most orthodox Amarr, lately), I really haven't even heard a "Minmatar problem" mentioned.
At all.
About the only person (I've run into) who really seems to think there is one is Nauplius, and he's agreed to be off his head. |
Markus Error
Her Majesty's Crown Corporation
10
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Posted - 2015.04.11 14:31:24 -
[6] - Quote
I'd like to offer a novel suggestion: release the slaves and give up the whole Reclaiming thing?
I realize how strange this is, Holders, but please, just give it some thought. And if you don't, well, that's what the Republic Fleet's for, I guess. |
Jaret Victorian
Crystalis Foundation
89
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Posted - 2015.04.11 14:37:50 -
[7] - Quote
Shirley Serious wrote:I have been studying this problem for some decades, and the answer recently came to me. If we stop breeding new Minmatar, and instead, increase Ealurian breeding, then, well, the problem solves itself in a century or so.", said the Holder, a planetary Lady in the Parrosa constellation.
The amount of ignorance and injustice in such a short phrase irks me.
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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Kalaratiri
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade
548
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Posted - 2015.04.11 14:56:10 -
[8] - Quote
Markus Error wrote:I'd like to offer a novel suggestion: release the slaves and give up the whole Reclaiming thing?
I realize how strange this is, Holders, but please, just give it some thought. And if you don't, well, that's what the Republic Fleet's for, I guess.
Ha!
"Novel".
Don't flatter yourself.
She's mad but she's magic, there's no lie in her fire.
This is possibly one of the worst threads in the history of these forums. -á- CCP Falcon
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Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
350
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Posted - 2015.04.11 16:30:10 -
[9] - Quote
This Lady Holder is on the right track, but God would be glorified in a slightly different take, one that I have expressed several times GÇö blood sacrifice of the Minmatar slave population offset by increased breeding of the non-Minmatar slave population. |
Sinjin Mokk
Stillwater Corporation That Escalated Quickly.
26
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Posted - 2015.04.11 17:32:31 -
[10] - Quote
Down with this sort of thing.
Dark Amarr: Rumors!
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Jade Blackwind
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
377
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Posted - 2015.04.11 18:51:33 -
[11] - Quote
So, the Holder masses in the Empire begin to see their Minmatar slave stock as a "problem" to be solved.
About a a hundred years, one rebellion, couple wars, one Elder Fleet invasion and one Imperial 9th gen emancipation decree late, but still, it's heartwarming news that they can think at all.
The result of that thinking is, of course, as messy as it should be expected.
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Bourbon Limoges
Maison Ceramique Limoges Chocolatiers
37
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Posted - 2015.04.11 19:54:00 -
[12] - Quote
Using genetic engineering to turn the Minmatar et. al. etc. into Amarrians would at least be a method of "Reclaiming" based on something more rational than the imbecilic fairy tales of superstitious savages. |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
397
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Posted - 2015.04.11 20:53:49 -
[13] - Quote
You folks seem to forget that this is the Gutter Press.
Gutter. Press.
Gutter Press.
I mean, come on! It's right there in the name!
Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
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Jaret Victorian
Crystalis Foundation
90
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Posted - 2015.04.11 21:00:05 -
[14] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:You folks seem to forget that this is the Gutter Press.
Gutter. Press.
Gutter Press.
I mean, come on! It's right there in the name! Satire often brings up unpopular topics. That's why I, personally, like satire.
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
474
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Posted - 2015.04.11 22:01:42 -
[15] - Quote
Jaret Victorian wrote:Elmund Egivand wrote:You folks seem to forget that this is the Gutter Press.
Gutter. Press.
Gutter Press.
I mean, come on! It's right there in the name! Satire often brings up unpopular topics. That's why I, personally, like satire. Also, it's been known to cover actual news.
... possibly by mistake? |
Luna Hanaya
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
56
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Posted - 2015.04.12 05:26:13 -
[16] - Quote
Aria Jenneth wrote:Um. While I've been living here (and admittedly I haven't been staying with the most orthodox Amarr, lately), I really haven't even heard a "Minmatar problem" mentioned.
At all.
About the only person (I've run into) who really seems to think there is one is Nauplius, and he's agreed to be off his head. The only problem with Minmatars is the war that is going on, however, it is not problem inside the Empire, it is the problem coming from the outside. And solution of this problem should be looked for not inside the Empire, but outside.
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Diana Kim
State Protectorate Caldari State
1675
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Posted - 2015.04.12 05:35:14 -
[17] - Quote
Now, if there would be a way to solve Gallente problem just by breeding something... But alas, gallentes with their lack of morals would interbreed anything bred to replace them, turning them again into gallenteans again. They are like cancer! |
Utari Onzo
13. Enigma Project
189
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Posted - 2015.04.12 09:57:53 -
[18] - Quote
I don't think there's so much a 'problem' with the Reclaimed as much as there's a 'problem' with certain Holders. If one requires the need of vitoxin, and other extreme measures, or works their slaves for generations with no recourse to their spiritual salvation, then that Holder is failing in his or her sacred duty.
New York, Paris, Peckham, Jita
13. is recruiting
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Septicus Tremblay
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
0
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Posted - 2015.04.12 10:41:53 -
[19] - Quote
Diana Kim wrote:But alas, gallentes with their lack of morals would interbreed anything bred to replace them, turning them again into gallenteans again. They are like cancer!
Hmm . . . Interbreeding with something bred to replace me. I can think of far worse ways to spend an evening. |
Vincent Athena
V.I.C.E.
3291
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Posted - 2015.04.12 15:22:54 -
[20] - Quote
I have a better idea. Replace all slaves with workers who are paid a fair wage for their efforts.
Know a Frozen fan? Check this out
Frozen fanfiction
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