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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
89
|
Posted - 2015.06.22 08:37:07 -
[31] - Quote
Suzuha Yamada wrote:I must enquire, between what times does your establishment trade, and do you serve food?
Opening hours are from when I wake up til when I pass out. Staff might be available at other times, depending on attrition from wine tastings.
Food? Maybe in the future. We'll see if we have the demand. Space elf cuisine is wasted on the spacemans, to be honest. |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
89
|
Posted - 2015.06.22 08:39:44 -
[32] - Quote
Rodj Blake wrote:Average Space Elf wrote:Rodj Blake wrote:I really think that we don't need to know about your old pube. And yet you are drawn to my establishment nonetheless. Have some wine! Wine for all. All this talk of opening pubes makes me wonder if you'll be splitting hairs if I try to get involved in the debate.
Debate on what topic, exactly? Space Pube maintenance? I wholeheartedly promote and "anything goes" type policy with regards to Space Pubes, spaceman. There isn't all that much to debate. |
Jade Blackwind
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
568
|
Posted - 2015.06.22 09:36:07 -
[33] - Quote
Average Space Elf wrote:Jade Blackwind wrote:Are Space Trolls allowed? Jade of the Blackwind! I am unfamiliar with "Space Trolls", could you describe them? Well, let me enlighten you.
In the obscure mythology of some Nothern Sebiestor clans, "Trolls" are a species of imaginary humanoid creatures.
It is said that Trolls are savage, carnivorous and extremely ugly. They usually make lairs in wet and dark, preferably underground environments, such as a cave, or a basement, or sometimes under a bridge. They are matriarchal, and adult male trolls are usually found sharing a cave with their mother, while females leave to establish another nest.
Trolls are cannibalistic and will eat everything, but they especially fond of small, furry endemic creatures that vaguely resemble a bear, and will go to great lengths to hunt those and properly soften their meat for consumption. It is also said that human tears have a narcotic-like effect on trolls, so they kidnap sleeping children and weak-willed tribesmen to keep them as cattle. The prisoners are then subjected to all manners of abuse to harvest their tears.
There is a belief among the northmen that the trolls that live under bridges extort a fee from the people that pass (sometimes issuing a "Bridge Pass Permit" scrawled on tree bark), but then eat the traveler anyway. In another version of this legend, if you throw a coin from the bridge down at the troll, he'll sometimes throw two coins back at you, but only if you follow an arbitrary and complex set of rules.
It is said that the best method to dispose of a troll permanently is to kill it with fire.
...See? I was really bored.
hehe |
Velarra
402
|
Posted - 2015.06.22 16:28:44 -
[34] - Quote
So that's where the missing batch went...
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Aria Jenneth
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade
920
|
Posted - 2015.06.22 17:45:58 -
[35] - Quote
Huh.
Is this sophisticated, sophomoric, or both?
. . . capsuleer humor is strange. Or maybe that's Gallentean humor. Or just "humor" generally. |
Charles Cambridge Schmidt
Dutch East Querious Company Phoebe Freeport Republic
69
|
Posted - 2015.06.23 16:45:54 -
[36] - Quote
Average Space Elf wrote:Drink up, spacemans, and let us be merry!
I remember you. You said I was out of fashion. I haven't forgotten the atrocity. Hopefully you've gotten your eyes fixed since then, elf. I'd hate for you to embarrass yourself again. |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
97
|
Posted - 2015.06.23 19:04:28 -
[37] - Quote
Jade Blackwind wrote:Average Space Elf wrote:Jade Blackwind wrote:Are Space Trolls allowed? Jade of the Blackwind! I am unfamiliar with "Space Trolls", could you describe them? Well, let me enlighten you. In obscure mythology of some Nothern Sebiestor clans, "Trolls" are a species of imaginary humanoid creatures. It is said that Trolls are savage, carnivorous and extremely ugly. They usually make lairs in wet and dark, preferably underground environments, such as a cave, or a basement, or sometimes under a bridge. They are matriarchal, and adult male trolls are usually found sharing a cave with their mother, while females leave to establish another nest. Trolls are cannibalistic and will eat everything, but they are especially fond of small, furry endemic creatures that vaguely resemble a bear, and will go to great lengths to hunt those and to properly soften their meat for consumption. It is also said that human tears have a narcotic-like effect on trolls, so they kidnap sleeping children and weak-willed tribesmen to keep them as cattle. The prisoners are then subjected to all manners of abuse to harvest their tears. There is a belief among the northmen that the trolls that live under bridges extort a fee from the people that pass (sometimes issuing a "Bridge Pass Permit" scrawled on tree bark), but then eat the traveler anyway. In another version of this legend, if you throw a coin from the bridge down at the troll, he'll sometimes throw two coins back at you, but only if you follow an arbitrary and complex set of rules. It is said that the best method to dispose of a troll permanently is to kill it with fire. hehe
I've encountered one of these foul beasts! He lured me in with the promise of a transcendent hat collection. I had never heard that adjective used to refer to headwear, so I let my curiosity get the better of me. When i approached the troll I was overcome by a musk of an ungodly pungency, and I passed out.
I awoke in a pile of body-length pillows. The nature of the patterns on these pillows is best left unmentioned, as is that of the accompanying stains. The headwear presentation proceeded as promised. I must say that his hat tipping technique was unrivaled. The hats themselves were atrocious though, and I had seen enough. I distracted him with a minor grammatical error and took my leave.
I may or may not have stolen a bargain-brand sword on my way out.
Silly creatures. |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
97
|
Posted - 2015.06.23 19:06:56 -
[38] - Quote
Velarra wrote:So that's where the missing batch went...
If you're calling me a thief I can only remind you that all hypothetical evidence of this hypothetical crime has hypothetically been destroyed.
SO THERE. |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
97
|
Posted - 2015.06.23 19:15:02 -
[39] - Quote
Charles Cambridge Schmidt wrote:Average Space Elf wrote:Drink up, spacemans, and let us be merry! I remember you. You said I was out of fashion. I haven't forgotten the atrocity. Hopefully you've gotten your eyes fixed since then, elf. I'd hate for you to embarrass yourself again.
I, too, have not forgotten the atrocity (a fitting name for your "ensemble" at the time, I must say). I can see you've improved by leaps and bounds though, and are now wearing handouts.
Why would I want my eyes fixed? I am blessed by elfinsight.
Wait... WAIT.
Are the elfin-sighted getting their eyes.... "fixed?" Is that why there are so few of them now? |
Charles Cambridge Schmidt
Dutch East Querious Company Phoebe Freeport Republic
72
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 04:09:01 -
[40] - Quote
Average Space Elf wrote:I, too, have not forgotten the atrocity (a fitting name for your "ensemble" at the time, I must say). I can see you've improved by leaps and bounds though, and are now wearing handouts. Why would I want my eyes fixed? I am blessed by elfinsight. Wait... WAIT. Are the elfin-sighted getting their eyes.... "fixed?" Is that why there are so few of them now?
I think there's so few of your kind because it's somewhat difficult to find a mate with your head lodged so far up your delicate backside. |
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Lord Kailethre
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
90
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 04:20:09 -
[41] - Quote
Average Space Elf wrote:Charles Cambridge Schmidt wrote:Average Space Elf wrote:Drink up, spacemans, and let us be merry! I remember you. You said I was out of fashion. I haven't forgotten the atrocity. Hopefully you've gotten your eyes fixed since then, elf. I'd hate for you to embarrass yourself again. I, too, have not forgotten the atrocity (a fitting name for your "ensemble" at the time, I must say). I can see you've improved by leaps and bounds though, and are now wearing handouts. Why would I want my eyes fixed? I am blessed by elfinsight. Wait... WAIT. Are the elfin-sighted getting their eyes.... "fixed?" Is that why there are so few of them now?
Mate, you need WAY more than just your eyes fixed. Should probably get on that fast though.
I remember once I broke my legs, but then My Legs were OK. |
Alabath Schmidt
The Scope Gallente Federation
36
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 04:33:21 -
[42] - Quote
Hee hee, he said pube. |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
102
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 07:36:14 -
[43] - Quote
Charles Cambridge Schmidt wrote:Average Space Elf wrote:I, too, have not forgotten the atrocity (a fitting name for your "ensemble" at the time, I must say). I can see you've improved by leaps and bounds though, and are now wearing handouts. Why would I want my eyes fixed? I am blessed by elfinsight. Wait... WAIT. Are the elfin-sighted getting their eyes.... "fixed?" Is that why there are so few of them now? I think there's so few of your kind because it's somewhat difficult to find a mate with your head lodged so far up your delicate backside.
Your new designer scar is very becoming! There's hope for you yet.
Also, my backside is particularly robust. This has been proven rather exhaustively.
And spiritedly. |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
102
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 07:41:09 -
[44] - Quote
Lord Kailethre wrote: Mate, you need WAY more than just your eyes fixed. Should probably get on that fast though.
Well then, I'm a sucker for self-actualization, so please do share with me some things worthy of improvement on my person.
Quote: I remember once I broke my legs, but then My Legs were OK.
Hallelujah! Wine for celebration, and wine for all! |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
102
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 07:45:57 -
[45] - Quote
Alabath Schmidt wrote:Hee hee, he said pube.
It's good to see there's at least one spaceman who likes having fun.
Here, have some wine. |
Lord Kailethre
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
91
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 10:22:17 -
[46] - Quote
Average Space Elf wrote:Alabath Schmidt wrote:Hee hee, he said pube. It's good to see there's at least one spaceman who likes having fun. Here, have some wine.
Actually I think you'll find that's a spacewoman.
Check your elven space male privilege you monster. |
Jade Blackwind
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
574
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 12:53:06 -
[47] - Quote
Average Space Elf wrote:I've encountered one of these foul beasts! He lured me in with the promise of a transcendent hat collection. I had never heard that adjective used to refer to headwear, so I let my curiosity get the better of me. When i approached the troll I was overcome by a musk of an ungodly pungency, and I passed out.
I awoke in a pile of body-length pillows. The nature of the patterns on these pillows is best left unmentioned, as is that of the accompanying stains. The headwear presentation proceeded as promised. I must say that his hat tipping technique was unrivaled. The hats themselves were atrocious though, and I had seen enough. I distracted him with a minor grammatical error and took my leave. Sounds like you got pulled into a "Bonus Room"! |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
105
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 23:16:42 -
[48] - Quote
Lord Kailethre wrote:Average Space Elf wrote:Alabath Schmidt wrote:Hee hee, he said pube. It's good to see there's at least one spaceman who likes having fun. Here, have some wine. Actually I think you'll find that's a spacewoman. Check your elven space male privilege you monster.
Ah, female spacemans are called spacewomans? Good to know! Apologies to the good spacewoman.
Also, it seems you've rather presumptuously assigned me a gender! Somewhat silly of you, given the rest of your words, wouldn't you say? |
Average Space Elf
Hole Violence Whole Squid
105
|
Posted - 2015.06.24 23:18:08 -
[49] - Quote
Jade Blackwind wrote:Sounds like you got pulled into a "Bonus Room"!
Everything was covered in a strange cheese dust and all of the necks were bearded. |
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