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Trinkets friend
Sudden Buggery Prolapse.
2567
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 01:50:38 -
[1] - Quote
The following fragment of Lore was recovered from an Orca wreck found floating at a defunct Altar of Bob moments before the great Purge of TCU's yesterday.
"....and asked of Sister Vuvalina whenceforth came the system Thera.
Vuvalina said unto me, on condition of anyonymity, vouchsafed by my vows to secrecy and silence which comes as part of my initiation into the Order of Corpse Farming of Robert, Blood God of Anoikis, the following story about the origin of Thera.
"This talk of Sansha Kuvakei creating Thera is nonsense put about by the religious fanatics of Amarr, who worship the Empress as the sole Divine manifestation of theistic righteousness within New Eden. They seek a way to explain the inexplicable, to shore up their false idols and foul slave-taking cultural hegemon. After all, viewed through a warped prism of self-inculcated indoctrination, any explication must needs be warped by the prism of ideology, yes?
The truth about Thera is far less inimical. The facts speak for themselves. Do we not have outposts within that mysterious station? Are we not providing, essentially free of charge, a mechanism by which infantile douches can inflate their machismatic egoes in killing each other in cold blood? As a Sisterhood of space nuns devoted to peace, does this not strike you as unusual? How and why would we set up massive edifices in one system, when all of Anoikis remains uncharted and essentially uninhabited, except by autist journeymen phallus cobblers, ekeing out an existence much like hermit crabs from safizon; turtling up in their space stations like mewling children, vomiting infantile choleric verbal diarrhea into their local, believing that the forces of evil seek to steal what paltry sums of ISK they have hoarded in the bowels of their pathetic space edifces.
(here, I believe Vuvalina refers to the forces of Evil as being the Loot Fairy, sworn enemy of the One True Wormhole God and stealer of faction modules, eater of officer modules and desecrator of SMA kills. Perhaps she also refers to the lord of the underworld, swinger of the great Bat of Nerf, wielder of the Egg Timer of Anomaly Spawning and general catatonic rectum weasel, Fozzicus)
No, Thera was not Sansha Kuvakeis' secret lair. The truth is it was our sapphic holiday camp. The life of a space nun devoted to studying and cataloguing the ever-shifting sands of meta-level item nomenclature and cashing in loyalty points for Stratios chips is stressful and boring. From Simela to Ashokon, our sisters strive 23.75/24 hours a da to cater to neckbearded manchildren's needs to accumulate space bling and toss it against the wall in ever more peurile feuds ovr high security space customs office empires; it is wearing on the soul, and truth be told, all a space nun wants to do at the end of a long day's work as a mission agent handing out missions in Gonditsa because we hate these asperger nerds, is to have a hot rose-scented bubble bath, read a E.L. James Novel and rub one out with a vat of KY jelly and a rubber shlong made in the likeness of Mandingo.
Thus we set up a sapphic love retreat in Thera, and it was very popular. Soon thousands and thousands of nuns were taking to the giant bubble baths in space, draining AA batteries like Cap 800's in a triple XLASB bait Rokh, fuming in the loins. The danger was not apparent, for in a great orgiastic mind-meld, our POS gunner defence teams soon skived off work. Being cybernetically linked to dangerous Sleeper-tech POS defences in Thera, a multual frottage session soon culminated in an orgiastic synchronous climax of a hundred thousand heavily armed space nuns, and what you know as Caroline's Star was born of the resulting giant lesbian synchroqueef cumfart.
We learned our lessons, and this is why there are no station guns in Thera. We would prefer if our secret love retreat was 1.0 security status, but we do not want CONCORD to be around, because it is clear that what we do is illegal, and every time a man turns up in a cop uniform it turns into a male stripper incident."
Doctor Prince Field Marshall of Prolapse. Alliance and Grand Sasquatch of Bob
We take Batphones. Contact us at Hola Batmanuel - Free call 1800-UR-MOMMA
~~ Localectomy Blog ~~
|
Erica Dusette
Isogen 5
48069
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 01:57:55 -
[2] - Quote
Quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever read.
Trinkets friend wrote:autist journeymen phallus cobblers, ekeing out an existence much like hermit crabs from safizon; turtling up in their space stations like mewling children, vomiting infantile choleric verbal diarrhea into their local, believing that the forces of evil seek to steal what paltry sums of ISK they have hoarded in the bowels of their pathetic space edifces. Oh dear.
Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!
Part-Time Wormhole Pirate pâä Full-Time Supermodel
Gû+ -+eep+¦ng -+y pro-++¦-òe -ò+¦nce 17|12|116 GÖÑ
Gû+ wor-+-+ole d+¦ary + c-+arac-éer -¦+¦o-ò
|
Apex Bex
Boundless Exploration
47
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 02:07:46 -
[3] - Quote
I'm not saying it's the greatest post the EVE-O Forums have ever seen, but it clearly is.
Disciple of Bob
|
Lodestone Toyee
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
50
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 02:10:14 -
[4] - Quote
We don't go there anymore. |
Iyokus Patrouette
Sudden Buggery Prolapse.
564
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 02:23:09 -
[5] - Quote
I feel like a jilted lover right now.
---- Advocate for the initiation of purple coloured wormholes----
|
Erik Mercade
Sudden Buggery Prolapse.
1
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 04:44:15 -
[6] - Quote
This post made me hard as diamonds. |
Bob
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
2
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 05:54:00 -
[7] - Quote
No. |
Barrogh Habalu
Forever Winter Absolute Zero.
921
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 06:13:17 -
[8] - Quote
What in the name of everything I've just read?.. |
Winthorp
3554
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 07:25:57 -
[9] - Quote
Too many words for me.
I am Winthorp, you might remember me from such films as "Winthorp is to blame for permanent signature ID's".
Please note i don't engage in any meaningful discussion with NPC alts, nut up or shut up...
|
Erica Dusette
Isogen 5
48075
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 08:46:08 -
[10] - Quote
Iyokus Patrouette wrote:I feel like a jilted lover right now. Feels.
Been there recently. Didn't end well for the other person.
Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!
Part-Time Wormhole Pirate pâä Full-Time Supermodel
Gû+ -+eep+¦ng -+y pro-++¦-òe -ò+¦nce 17|12|116 GÖÑ
Gû+ wor-+-+ole d+¦ary + c-+arac-éer -¦+¦o-ò
|
|
unimatrix0030
Viperfleet Inc. Official Winners Of Takeshi's Castle
199
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 20:25:20 -
[11] - Quote
Thank you for dispearing the word of bob , trinkets friend! Made bob send you lots of targets!
No local in null sec would fix everything!
Fleet warp proposal = the rubix cube is back into eve especialy the second part of the saying.
Wh players need to adapt, null sec players get the rules changed.
|
Andrew Jester
ElitistOps Pandemic Legion
1229
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 20:36:17 -
[12] - Quote
Erica Dusette wrote:Quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever read. Trinkets friend wrote:autist journeymen phallus cobblers, ekeing out an existence much like hermit crabs from safizon; turtling up in their space stations like mewling children, vomiting infantile choleric verbal diarrhea into their local, believing that the forces of evil seek to steal what paltry sums of ISK they have hoarded in the bowels of their pathetic space edifces. Oh dear.
Wait is he talking about me ?
If thuggin' was a category I'd win a Grammy
|
Ilaister
Isogen 5
206
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 22:19:42 -
[13] - Quote
A worthy - and clearly veracious - addition to the lexicon. Your dedication to WH lore does you a great service.
Quote:giant lesbian synchroqueef cumfart
This phenomenon sounds... Interesting. Could it be duplicated....? For research? |
Iyokus Patrouette
Sudden Buggery Prolapse.
566
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 22:43:55 -
[14] - Quote
Erica Dusette wrote:Iyokus Patrouette wrote:I feel like a jilted lover right now. Feels. Been there recently. Didn't end well for the other person.
Now i feel even more sad, that Poor Gallente tower. . why do the innocent always suffer.
---- Advocate for the initiation of purple coloured wormholes----
|
Araikas Rhal
Hair-Trigger Prolapse.
25
|
Posted - 2015.07.16 01:03:36 -
[15] - Quote
For those wondering, the ritual used to appease Bob and thus grant access to such sekrets, simply involves at least a dozen corpses, a smartbombing Nereus, 200 +/- noobships. Take these to a low orbit around a J-sapce sun, add one part "WTF someone just blew themselves up with a bomb!" 3 parts Awoxing. Stir for one hour until downtime, then scrape off the 8/10 parts Aussie left on top.
I played other games in my past life. I must have done something wrong to be re-incarnated as an Eve player.
|
Erica Dusette
Isogen 5
48129
|
Posted - 2015.07.16 01:05:08 -
[16] - Quote
Andrew Jester wrote:Wait is he talking about me ? It's possible.
Iyokus Patrouette wrote:Erica Dusette wrote:Iyokus Patrouette wrote:I feel like a jilted lover right now. Feels. Been there recently. Didn't end well for the other person. Now i feel even more sad, that Poor Gallente tower. . why do the innocent always suffer. It was the only way. Not something I'm terribly proud of (well, maybe just a little).
Call me. We can weep together.
Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!
Part-Time Wormhole Pirate pâä Full-Time Supermodel
Gû+ -+eep+¦ng -+y pro-++¦-òe -ò+¦nce 17|12|116 GÖÑ
Gû+ wor-+-+ole d+¦ary + c-+arac-éer -¦+¦o-ò
|
Himnos Altar
An Errant Venture
464
|
Posted - 2015.07.19 05:37:19 -
[17] - Quote
Ilaister wrote:A worthy - and clearly veracious - addition to the lexicon. Your dedication to WH lore does you a great service. Quote:giant lesbian synchroqueef cumfart This phenomenon sounds... Interesting. Could it be duplicated....? For research?
That depends. do you know many giant lesbians? |
Trinkets friend
Sudden Buggery Prolapse.
2591
|
Posted - 2015.07.19 09:07:45 -
[18] - Quote
Lucy Lawless
Doctor Prince Field Marshall of Prolapse. Alliance and Grand Sasquatch of Bob
We take Batphones. Contact us at Hola Batmanuel - Free call 1800-UR-MOMMA
~~ Localectomy Blog ~~
|
unimatrix0030
Viperfleet Inc. Official Winners Of Takeshi's Castle
201
|
Posted - 2015.07.20 06:52:32 -
[19] - Quote
And what does the great bob, god of wormholes, think of the drifters?
No local in null sec would fix everything!
Fleet warp proposal = the rubix cube is back into eve especialy the second part of the saying.
Wh players need to adapt, null sec players get the rules changed.
|
Braxton Tscharke
Coopers Pale
5
|
Posted - 2015.07.20 09:38:12 -
[20] - Quote
http://i.imgur.com/u8awa.gif |
|
Orob Ninebands
True Prophets of Bob Prouentibus Bob
33
|
Posted - 2015.07.23 16:00:40 -
[21] - Quote
Trinkets friend wrote:The following fragment of Lore was recovered from an Orca wreck found floating at a defunct Altar of Bob moments before the great Purge of TCU's yesterday.
"....and asked of Sister Vuvalina whenceforth came the system Thera.
Vuvalina said unto me, on condition of anyonymity, vouchsafed by my vows to secrecy and silence which comes as part of my initiation into the Order of Corpse Farming of Robert, Blood God of Anoikis, the following story about the origin of Thera.
"This talk of Sansha Kuvakei creating Thera is nonsense put about by the religious fanatics of Amarr, who worship the Empress as the sole Divine manifestation of theistic righteousness within New Eden. They seek a way to explain the inexplicable, to shore up their false idols and foul slave-taking cultural hegemon. After all, viewed through a warped prism of self-inculcated indoctrination, any explication must needs be warped by the prism of ideology, yes?
The truth about Thera is far less inimical. The facts speak for themselves. Do we not have outposts within that mysterious station? Are we not providing, essentially free of charge, a mechanism by which infantile douches can inflate their machismatic egoes in killing each other in cold blood? As a Sisterhood of space nuns devoted to peace, does this not strike you as unusual? How and why would we set up massive edifices in one system, when all of Anoikis remains uncharted and essentially uninhabited, except by autist journeymen phallus cobblers, ekeing out an existence much like hermit crabs from safizon; turtling up in their space stations like mewling children, vomiting infantile choleric verbal diarrhea into their local, believing that the forces of evil seek to steal what paltry sums of ISK they have hoarded in the bowels of their pathetic space edifces.
(here, I believe Vuvalina refers to the forces of Evil as being the Loot Fairy, sworn enemy of the One True Wormhole God and stealer of faction modules, eater of officer modules and desecrator of SMA kills. Perhaps she also refers to the lord of the underworld, swinger of the great Bat of Nerf, wielder of the Egg Timer of Anomaly Spawning and general catatonic rectum weasel, Fozzicus)
No, Thera was not Sansha Kuvakeis' secret lair. The truth is it was our sapphic holiday camp. The life of a space nun devoted to studying and cataloguing the ever-shifting sands of meta-level item nomenclature and cashing in loyalty points for Stratios chips is stressful and boring. From Simela to Ashokon, our sisters strive 23.75/24 hours a da to cater to neckbearded manchildren's needs to accumulate space bling and toss it against the wall in ever more peurile feuds ovr high security space customs office empires; it is wearing on the soul, and truth be told, all a space nun wants to do at the end of a long day's work as a mission agent handing out missions in Gonditsa because we hate these asperger nerds, is to have a hot rose-scented bubble bath, read a E.L. James Novel and rub one out with a vat of KY jelly and a rubber shlong made in the likeness of Mandingo.
Thus we set up a sapphic love retreat in Thera, and it was very popular. Soon thousands and thousands of nuns were taking to the giant bubble baths in space, draining AA batteries like Cap 800's in a triple XLASB bait Rokh, fuming in the loins. The danger was not apparent, for in a great orgiastic mind-meld, our POS gunner defence teams soon skived off work. Being cybernetically linked to dangerous Sleeper-tech POS defences in Thera, a multual frottage session soon culminated in an orgiastic synchronous climax of a hundred thousand heavily armed space nuns, and what you know as Caroline's Star was born of the resulting giant lesbian synchroqueef cumfart.
We learned our lessons, and this is why there are no station guns in Thera. We would prefer if our secret love retreat was 1.0 security status, but we do not want CONCORD to be around, because it is clear that what we do is illegal, and every time a man turns up in a cop uniform it turns into a male stripper incident."
You speak not for Bob. You blaspheme Bob with your falsities. |
Orob Ninebands
True Prophets of Bob Prouentibus Bob
33
|
Posted - 2015.07.23 16:02:27 -
[22] - Quote
Trinkets friend wrote:The following fragment of Lore was recovered from an Orca wreck found floating at a defunct Altar of Bob moments before the great Purge of TCU's yesterday.
"....and asked of Sister Vuvalina whenceforth came the system Thera.
Vuvalina said unto me, on condition of anyonymity, vouchsafed by my vows to secrecy and silence which comes as part of my initiation into the Order of Corpse Farming of Robert, Blood God of Anoikis, the following story about the origin of Thera.
"This talk of Sansha Kuvakei creating Thera is nonsense put about by the religious fanatics of Amarr, who worship the Empress as the sole Divine manifestation of theistic righteousness within New Eden. They seek a way to explain the inexplicable, to shore up their false idols and foul slave-taking cultural hegemon. After all, viewed through a warped prism of self-inculcated indoctrination, any explication must needs be warped by the prism of ideology, yes?
The truth about Thera is far less inimical. The facts speak for themselves. Do we not have outposts within that mysterious station? Are we not providing, essentially free of charge, a mechanism by which infantile douches can inflate their machismatic egoes in killing each other in cold blood? As a Sisterhood of space nuns devoted to peace, does this not strike you as unusual? How and why would we set up massive edifices in one system, when all of Anoikis remains uncharted and essentially uninhabited, except by autist journeymen phallus cobblers, ekeing out an existence much like hermit crabs from safizon; turtling up in their space stations like mewling children, vomiting infantile choleric verbal diarrhea into their local, believing that the forces of evil seek to steal what paltry sums of ISK they have hoarded in the bowels of their pathetic space edifces.
(here, I believe Vuvalina refers to the forces of Evil as being the Loot Fairy, sworn enemy of the One True Wormhole God and stealer of faction modules, eater of officer modules and desecrator of SMA kills. Perhaps she also refers to the lord of the underworld, swinger of the great Bat of Nerf, wielder of the Egg Timer of Anomaly Spawning and general catatonic rectum weasel, Fozzicus)
No, Thera was not Sansha Kuvakeis' secret lair. The truth is it was our sapphic holiday camp. The life of a space nun devoted to studying and cataloguing the ever-shifting sands of meta-level item nomenclature and cashing in loyalty points for Stratios chips is stressful and boring. From Simela to Ashokon, our sisters strive 23.75/24 hours a da to cater to neckbearded manchildren's needs to accumulate space bling and toss it against the wall in ever more peurile feuds ovr high security space customs office empires; it is wearing on the soul, and truth be told, all a space nun wants to do at the end of a long day's work as a mission agent handing out missions in Gonditsa because we hate these asperger nerds, is to have a hot rose-scented bubble bath, read a E.L. James Novel and rub one out with a vat of KY jelly and a rubber shlong made in the likeness of Mandingo.
Thus we set up a sapphic love retreat in Thera, and it was very popular. Soon thousands and thousands of nuns were taking to the giant bubble baths in space, draining AA batteries like Cap 800's in a triple XLASB bait Rokh, fuming in the loins. The danger was not apparent, for in a great orgiastic mind-meld, our POS gunner defence teams soon skived off work. Being cybernetically linked to dangerous Sleeper-tech POS defences in Thera, a multual frottage session soon culminated in an orgiastic synchronous climax of a hundred thousand heavily armed space nuns, and what you know as Caroline's Star was born of the resulting giant lesbian synchroqueef cumfart.
We learned our lessons, and this is why there are no station guns in Thera. We would prefer if our secret love retreat was 1.0 security status, but we do not want CONCORD to be around, because it is clear that what we do is illegal, and every time a man turns up in a cop uniform it turns into a male stripper incident."
You speak not for Bob. You blaspheme Bob with your falsities. |
Trinkets friend
Sudden Buggery Prolapse.
2621
|
Posted - 2015.07.24 07:20:11 -
[23] - Quote
You utter twonk, this has nothing to do with Bob, not that you would know, being a known-nothing ignoramus.
Doctor Prince Field Marshall of Prolapse. Alliance and Grand Sasquatch of Bob
We take Batphones. Contact us at Hola Batmanuel - Free call 1800-UR-MOMMA
~~ Localectomy Blog ~~
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