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Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
410
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Posted - 2015.08.02 21:45:38 -
[1] - Quote
Introduction Am I not Chosen beyond Chosen? Have I not the right to delve into the dark, occult knowledge; the knowledge forbidden to the lesser folk? If the wayward and liberal Empire will not wage total war against the Minmatar, might I not summon a demon legion to wage that war instead? For months now, I have studied the art of demon summoning, seeking to summon demons and bind them to the destruction of the Minmatar. I offer to my fellow Chosen the following rite, reconstructed and arranged from strange sources which does just that GÇö
Preparing the Ritual Space In the center of the ritual space, place an Altar of God. On one side of the Altar of God, draw a Triangle in consecrated slave blood, a Triangle large enough to contain a demon. Along one side of the Triangle, draw the name Garrulor. Along another side of the Triangle, draw the name Frisceas. Along the third side of the Triangle, draw the name Sefrim. On the other side of the Altar of God, opposite the Triangle, draw a Circle in consecrated slave blood, a Circle large enough to contain the summoner. Along the circumference of the Circle, repeatedly draw the following letters in an ancient script: ß+ü -ä++ß+ª +¦ß+¦+++¦-ä++-é +++¦-î-é (meaning, the Blood God).
Clothing and Personal Preparation Wear a robe of golden thread. On one side of robe's chest, draw Ametat the Scepter in consecrated slave blood. On the other side, draw Avetat the Crown. On the day of the summoning, take a ritual bath in consecrated slave blood, reciting from the Scriptures:
Prophet Anoyia 8:15 wrote: The word of the Lord is pure, It is a shield for the faithful, Brought unto men by the Angels, As a guiding light in the darkness.
Then, as you put on your robe, recite from the Scriptures:
Amarr Askura 10:3 wrote: Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil.
The Conjuration Gather a sacrificial blade and an unconsecrated golden goblet and strap an unconsecrated Brutor to the Altar of God (a consecrated Brutor would harm the demon to whom we will be offering the Brutor's blood). Stand in the Circle, facing the Altar of God and the Triangle beyond it, and recite:
Quote: I invocate and conjure you demon Bhaalgorn, being with power armed from supreme Majesty, I thoroughly command you in the name of God, the Red God, the Blood God; I exorcise and command you demon by all the holy and glorious names of the true God that you forthwith appear in this Triangle in a fair shape and make rational answers of all that I shall ask of you; come peaceably and without delay, manifesting what I desire, being conjured in the name of the God who parts the creation, who drowns sinners in their own blood, who looses fierce anger, and sends the Ark of salvation. Why tarry, in the name of God, the Red God, the Blood God you are commanded!
The demon will come and appear in the Triangle. Address him as follows:
Quote: Behold the Ametat and Avetat that I have brought here before your presence; behold the person Nauplius, Chosen of God, who is armed by God and without fear. Therefore, make rational answers to my demands and be obedient to me your master in the name of God, the Red God, the Blood God.
Sacrifice the Brutor, collect his still unconsecrated blood in the goblet, and offer it to the demon. Command him thus:
Quote: Learn you the taste of the Brutor. By him who parted creation, I bind you to the destruction of the Brutor. Faithfully and truly seek out the Brutor and destroy them in the name of God, the Red God, the Blood God. Amen.
At this, give the demon license to depart, leaving not the circle until it has done so. Of course, when performing this rite for yourself, replace the name Bhaalgorn with the demon to be summoned, Brutor with the bloodline of the slave to be sacrificed, and Nauplius with the name of the summoner.
Conclusion As you read this, forty Slavers, now trained in the art of demonology, are bringing forth demons from the Pit in a Temple to the Red God named GÇ£Demon Summoning TempleGÇ¥ located in the Devoid region. They have been provided 10,000 Slaves for sacrifice and are defended by 50 Marines. Ten janitors and two exotic dancers of each gender round out the starbase's crew.
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Foley Aberas Jones
Huogikku Corporation Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
348
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Posted - 2015.08.02 21:49:07 -
[2] - Quote
Nauplius wrote: Nauplius Post
Heres the tl;dr version for everyone to enjoy... |
Jaret Victorian
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
233
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Posted - 2015.08.02 21:58:29 -
[3] - Quote
This is sick. In a bad way.
Very bad.
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd. Follow us on GalNet!
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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Ayallah
SniggWaffe WAFFLES.
356
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Posted - 2015.08.02 22:16:16 -
[4] - Quote
Tower Information censored for operational security.
-áFear The Tribes
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Anyanka Funk
Tribal Liberation Force Minmatar Republic
168
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Posted - 2015.08.02 22:20:00 -
[5] - Quote
Nauplius, babe. Can we also use Gallente sacrifices to summon the demons? |
Sanguina Dieudonne
Amok. Goonswarm Federation
41
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Posted - 2015.08.02 22:30:36 -
[6] - Quote
He's not Sanist. Really. I promise. Now he's just a murdering lunatic. I'd even offer to help people kill his tower, but I'm not a moron. |
Anyanka Funk
Tribal Liberation Force Minmatar Republic
168
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Posted - 2015.08.02 22:40:26 -
[7] - Quote
Sanguina Dieudonne wrote:He's not Sanist. Really. I promise. Now he's just a murdering lunatic. I'd even offer to help people kill his tower, but I'm not a moron. Go kneel to your master. |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
737
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Posted - 2015.08.02 23:12:35 -
[8] - Quote
Sanguina Dieudonne wrote:He's not Sanist. Really. I promise. Now he's just a murdering lunatic. I'd even offer to help people kill his tower, but I'm not a moron.
It really wouldn't be all that hard to organize a small Domifleet. Maybe 100-150 battleships? Promise people there's a structure they can actually shoot, and they'll likely jump at it. |
Ginia Itonula
KarmaFleet Goonswarm Federation
82
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Posted - 2015.08.02 23:21:09 -
[9] - Quote
Arrendis wrote:Sanguina Dieudonne wrote:He's not Sanist. Really. I promise. Now he's just a murdering lunatic. I'd even offer to help people kill his tower, but I'm not a moron. It really wouldn't be all that hard to organize a small Domifleet. Maybe 100-150 battleships? Promise people there's a structure they can actually shoot, and they'll likely jump at it.
Promise people there's a *anything* they can actually shoot and they'll jump at it. |
Lord Kailethre
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
210
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Posted - 2015.08.02 23:25:20 -
[10] - Quote
I liked reading Max threads better than this drivel.
At least what he says is halfway interesting some of the time. |
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Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
415
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Posted - 2015.08.03 00:05:31 -
[11] - Quote
I make no promises on the efficacy of a ritual involving Gallentean slaves. They are not my priority. |
Sanguina Dieudonne
Amok. Goonswarm Federation
41
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Posted - 2015.08.03 00:15:39 -
[12] - Quote
Arrendis wrote:Sanguina Dieudonne wrote:He's not Sanist. Really. I promise. Now he's just a murdering lunatic. I'd even offer to help people kill his tower, but I'm not a moron. It really wouldn't be all that hard to organize a small Domifleet. Maybe 100-150 battleships? Promise people there's a structure they can actually shoot, and they'll likely jump at it. If this thing wasn't in the Bleak Lands (I'm guessing) and a ridiculous amount of jumps away, I'd poke people about a fleet. |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
738
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Posted - 2015.08.03 01:16:10 -
[13] - Quote
Sanguina Dieudonne wrote:If this thing wasn't in the Bleak Lands (I'm guessing) and a ridiculous amount of jumps away, I'd poke people about a fleet.
There comes a time for all things... |
Tyrel Toov
Minmatar Confederate Ushra'Khan
495
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Posted - 2015.08.03 02:17:16 -
[14] - Quote
Oh, for the love of....... Demons, really?
I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
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Saede Riordan
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
7750
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Posted - 2015.08.03 04:19:52 -
[15] - Quote
The Alexyvlva Paradox has managed to acquire the location of this tower. Shall we destroy it, or would someone else like the privilege?
Fear and Loathing in Internet Spaceships
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Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
741
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Posted - 2015.08.03 04:22:39 -
[16] - Quote
Saede Riordan wrote:The Alexyvlva Paradox has managed to acquire the location of this tower. Shall we destroy it, or would someone else like the privilege?
Do feel free. |
Andreus Ixiris
Duty.
5509
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Posted - 2015.08.03 04:23:52 -
[17] - Quote
Saede Riordan wrote:The Alexyvlva Paradox has managed to acquire the location of this tower. Shall we destroy it, or would someone else like the privilege? Not without bringing me along.
Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.
Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.
Andreus Ixiris > ...
Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
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Tyrel Toov
Minmatar Confederate Ushra'Khan
497
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Posted - 2015.08.03 04:25:20 -
[18] - Quote
Arrendis wrote:Saede Riordan wrote:The Alexyvlva Paradox has managed to acquire the location of this tower. Shall we destroy it, or would someone else like the privilege? Do feel free. Just post the video so we can all enjoy...
I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
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Makoto Priano
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
7472
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Posted - 2015.08.03 04:43:09 -
[19] - Quote
IKAME offers assistance to any organization moving to destroy the tower.
We already have tacticals on the facility. While our combat strength isn't terribly great, it's not negligible.
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries: exploring the edge of the known, advancing the state of the art. Would you like to know more?
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Trii Seo
Executive Outcomes
821
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Posted - 2015.08.03 06:17:36 -
[20] - Quote
Oh man, this could backfire horribly. We all know that for demon summoning you require at least one rock star (and they better be good!) in case the demon disobeys you. And they do that a lot, reportedly.
If they do disobey, challenge them to a rock-off. Thing with demons is that they can't really decline and the terms can be just about anything - from banishment to eternal servitude. However, this can happen to you as well if you lose - that's why your rocker should be real good.
Also, keep in mind, demons love rock. Chances are Bhaalgorn is so good at it he can play a riff so epic it will sunder space and cause another Seyllin or something. Summon with caution - I heard he plays a quad-necked guitar.
The king is dead, long live the king!
Glory to Maximilian Singularity the Sixth, First of his Name!
Proud pilot of the Imperium
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Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
550
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Posted - 2015.08.03 07:26:29 -
[21] - Quote
Nauplius, have you been playing too much Macabre, Sacrilege or any holo-game of the Battlemace franchise lately?
Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
911
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Posted - 2015.08.03 08:40:51 -
[22] - Quote
Demon summoning, eh?
And there I was, thinking that Nauplius was going to take up dairy farming.
Well.
Colour me surprised.
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Trii Seo
Executive Outcomes
822
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Posted - 2015.08.03 10:31:57 -
[23] - Quote
But seriously, you shouldn't summon demons to this plane - lest you wish to accidentally cause ragnarokk to happen.
The king is dead, long live the king!
Glory to Maximilian Singularity the Sixth, First of his Name!
Proud pilot of the Imperium
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Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
418
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Posted - 2015.08.03 11:34:15 -
[24] - Quote
Trii Seo wrote:But seriously, you shouldn't summon demons to this plane - lest you wish to accidentally cause ragnarokk to happen.
Who is to say that the hidden Will of God is that his Chosen, Nauplius, would set in motion the End of Days GÇö called Ragnarok by the slave people GÇö by summoning forth a Demon Legion and binding them to the destruction of the Minmatar? |
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
418
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Posted - 2015.08.03 11:45:27 -
[25] - Quote
Trii Seo wrote:Oh man, this could backfire horribly. We all know that for demon summoning you require at least one rock star (and they better be good!) in case the demon disobeys you. And they do that a lot, reportedly.
If they do disobey, challenge them to a rock-off. Thing with demons is that they can't really decline and the terms can be just about anything - from banishment to eternal servitude. However, this can happen to you as well if you lose - that's why your rocker should be real good.
Also, keep in mind, demons love rock. Chances are Bhaalgorn is so good at it he can play a riff so epic it will sunder space and cause another Seyllin or something. Summon with caution - I heard he plays a quad-necked guitar.
You will note that the demon summoning ritual contains many obscure elements GÇö a circle, a triangle, depictions of the Ametat and Avetat, repeating various names of God, and so on. I believe these elements offer sufficient protection against the things you fear GÇö my demons cannot disobey me. |
Andreus Ixiris
Duty.
5512
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Posted - 2015.08.03 12:10:54 -
[26] - Quote
You know what's a running theme with Sani Sabik capsuleers?
Over time, their attempts to obtain the attention of the IGS inevitably get more and more elaborate, grandiose and far-fetched, and yet at the same time more boring. It happened with Revan Neferis, it happened with Cyshade, it happened with what's-her-face from Khanid and once again it's repeating itself with Nauplius. Each and every Blooder becomes more and more desperate for attention and praise, universally fails to obtain it, attempts to settle for villainous infamy and when even that doesn't stick continues to do more and more preposterous things in pursuit of recognition - and none of it is even that fun to watch.
Revan Neferis talked too much and did too little, and while successful at precious little else she was instrumental in setting that as the general trend for Sabik capsuleers. Nauplius manages to somehow be even less charismatic while talking even more and doing even less. Now he's quite literally, without hyperbole, attempting to summon demons from hell and he still can't make it compelling. I can't hate Nauplius. I can't even summon the empathy neccessary to dislike him. Even expending the effort to type this seems to be giving the phalically-challenged, intellectually bankrupt little goon more attention than he's entitled to, but I thought it was worth pointing out that he can't even make cartoonish moustache-twirling villainy the least bit intriguing.
I can understand why he's turning to the supernatural, though - if he wants to be interesting or relevant, he'll certainly need a miracle.
Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.
Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.
Andreus Ixiris > ...
Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
911
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Posted - 2015.08.03 13:24:00 -
[27] - Quote
Andreus Ixiris wrote:You know what's a running theme with Sani Sabik capsuleers? Each and every Blooder becomes more and more desperate for attention and praise, universally fails to obtain it, attempts to settle for villainous infamy and when even that doesn't stick continues to do more and more preposterous things in pursuit of recognition - and none of it is even that fun to watch.
Well, that's where you're wrong, matey.
I defy your laughable stereotype.
But then, I am the greatest Sani Sabik theophilosopher of the modern age, as Cardinal Graelyn once said to me.
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Marcus Gord
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade
83823
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Posted - 2015.08.03 13:25:27 -
[28] - Quote
Trii Seo wrote:Oh man, this could backfire horribly. We all know that for demon summoning you require at least one rock star (and they better be good!) in case the demon disobeys you. And they do that a lot, reportedly.
If they do disobey, challenge them to a rock-off. Thing with demons is that they can't really decline and the terms can be just about anything - from banishment to eternal servitude. However, this can happen to you as well if you lose - that's why your rocker should be real good.
Also, keep in mind, demons love rock. Chances are Bhaalgorn is so good at it he can play a riff so epic it will sunder space and cause another Seyllin or something. Summon with caution - I heard he plays a quad-necked guitar.
If you win, it's safe to assume whatever is played by the winner is the best song in the universe. It may be lucrative to remember how it goes, or you'll be stuck simply playing a tribute to it, which isn't going to be as good by any measure.
In a few moments you will have an experience that will seem completely real. It will be the result of your subconscious fears transformed to your conscious awareness.
http://i.imgur.com/LM2NKUf.png
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Aria Jenneth
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade
1256
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Posted - 2015.08.03 13:36:53 -
[29] - Quote
Okay, for once an "Also: Bwahahahaha" would really be redundant.
Nauplius wrote:Introduction Am I not Chosen beyond Chosen? Have I not the right to delve into the dark, occult knowledge; the knowledge forbidden to the lesser folk? If the wayward and liberal Empire will not wage total war against the Minmatar, might I not summon a demon legion to wage that war instead?
Respectively: probably not, no more than anybody else, almost certainly not.
If this were anyone else I'd think it was a weird marketing campaign for rock salt rail charges or something, but it's Nauplius, so ...
Predicted course: he keeps refining his technique, probably in ways that will involve more deaths, growing increasingly frustrated at not having actually summoned a single verifiable demon. Eventually he decides that, being demons, his summoned minions are naturally invisible and intangible, and are out there waging no doubt horrific spiritual destruction upon the Matari.
He declares victory and moves on to something else. |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
752
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Posted - 2015.08.03 13:41:33 -
[30] - Quote
Aria Jenneth wrote:Predicted course: he keeps refining his technique, probably in ways that will involve more deaths, growing increasingly frustrated at not having actually summoned a single verifiable demon. Eventually he decides that, being demons, his summoned minions are naturally invisible and intangible, and are out there waging no doubt horrific spiritual destruction upon the Matari.
He declares victory and moves on to something else.
And, of course:
"Bwahahahahahaah" |
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