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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
635
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Posted - 2015.08.08 08:24:40 -
[1] - Quote
As the Drifter intrusions continue, many conspiracy theories about their origins have begun to emerge.
While many of these conspiracy theories point at Jovian origin, given the similarities in DNA found in Drifter wrecks, there are a number of other origins claimed.
One of the theories claims that the Drifters are, in fact, Minmatar from the future !
Sensational !
Based on the very slight resemblance of the hull shapes of the Minmatar Republic designed Hurricane battlecruiser, and the Drifter Battleships that have been observed, some have claimed that this is proof of Minmatar origin !
The theory goes on to claim that this is why the Drifters have mostly appeared in Amarr Empire space, that it is in retribution for the Amarr occupation of the three Minmatar solar systems.
The advanced design of Drifter ship and weapon systems is attributed to the Drifter origin being in the future, using advanced wormhole technology to travel through time as well as space !
Incredible !
We asked several people for their opinions:
"Minmatar from the future? Are they insane?", asked one Gallente exotic dancer. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!", said a Jin-Mei exotic dancer. "But what about the Jovian DNA ? Surely that rules out Minmatar origin ?", asked a Sebiestor exotic dancer. "Whatever they are, I have faith that men like Anslo Tetua are hard enough to stand against them", said an Intaki exotic dancer. "Drifter Minmatar from the future ? Oh, that's terrifying", said another Gallente exotic dancer.
Whatever the truth is behind the Drifters, it is slow in revealing itself, causing ideal conditions for conspiracy theories to take root !
Gutter Press. Uncovering the Truth.
Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
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Utari Onzo
Praetorian Auxiliary Force Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
582
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Posted - 2015.08.08 09:25:29 -
[2] - Quote
Mmm, time for the morning read. I do enjoy breakfast with a slice of humour.
"Face the enemy as a solid wall
For faith is your armor
And through it, the enemy will find no breach
Wrap your arms around the enemy
For faith is your fire
And with it, burn away his evil"
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Andreus Ixiris
Duty.
5565
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Posted - 2015.08.08 10:51:21 -
[3] - Quote
I find that humour tends to lose its crispness when sliced. I prefer to consume it whole.
Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.
Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.
Andreus Ixiris > ...
Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
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Mizhara Del'thul
T.R.I.A.D Ushra'Khan
355
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Posted - 2015.08.08 12:16:26 -
[4] - Quote
Well that explains why my chief engineers start getting anxious when I start prodding around my Sleipnir to see what is drawing so much power. I should probably restrict their access to the reactor cores.
... or simply let him do his thing. Flying the prototype Drifter ship could be fun.
Sebiestor engineers, I swear. Can't let them out of your sight for an hour before they device a way to end New Eden, Empire first. |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
889
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Posted - 2015.08.08 13:01:51 -
[5] - Quote
Mizhara Del'thul wrote:Sebiestor engineers, I swear. Can't let them out of your sight for an hour before they device a way to end New Eden, Empire first.
Quiet, you, I'm trying to get this 500mn microwarp to fit onto my Thrasher with a pair of 1400mm Artillery strapped to the sides!
You know, if you point them backwards, they're actually a pretty good propulsion system for a hull that small... |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
577
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Posted - 2015.08.08 20:26:46 -
[6] - Quote
Mizhara Del'thul wrote:Well that explains why my chief engineers start getting anxious when I start prodding around my Sleipnir to see what is drawing so much power. I should probably restrict their access to the reactor cores.
... or simply let him do his thing. Flying the prototype Drifter ship could be fun.
Sebiestor engineers, I swear. Can't let them out of your sight for an hour before they device a way to end New Eden, Empire first.
Maybe they should have stuck to improvising the Sleipnir's sensor suites into a radio broadcast antenna.
Arrendis wrote:Mizhara Del'thul wrote:Sebiestor engineers, I swear. Can't let them out of your sight for an hour before they device a way to end New Eden, Empire first. Quiet, you, I'm trying to get this 500mn microwarp to fit onto my Thrasher with a pair of 1400mm Artillery strapped to the sides! You know, if you point them backwards, they're actually a pretty good propulsion system for a hull that small...
1400mm Artillery only produce thrust in bursts. The agility is also shite. Why not autocannons?
Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
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Foley Aberas Jones
Huogikku Corporation Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
367
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Posted - 2015.08.08 20:32:04 -
[7] - Quote
Arrendis wrote:Mizhara Del'thul wrote:Sebiestor engineers, I swear. Can't let them out of your sight for an hour before they device a way to end New Eden, Empire first. Quiet, you, I'm trying to get this 500mn microwarp to fit onto my Thrasher with a pair of 1400mm Artillery strapped to the sides! You know, if you point them backwards, they're actually a pretty good propulsion system for a hull that small...
When this Thrasher reaches 11,893.09 M/s
...You are gonna see some serious ****....
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Tyrel Toov
Minmatar Confederate Ushra'Khan
532
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Posted - 2015.08.08 21:31:01 -
[8] - Quote
Mizhara Del'thul wrote:Well that explains why my chief engineers start getting anxious when I start prodding around my Sleipnir to see what is drawing so much power. I should probably restrict their access to the reactor cores.
... or simply let him do his thing. Flying the prototype Drifter ship could be fun.
Sebiestor engineers, I swear. Can't let them out of your sight for an hour before they device a way to end New Eden, Empire first. We have already come up with several, but people keep throwing out words like "genocide", "madness", "immoral", and "mutually assured destruction". We never get to implement any of them....
I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
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Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
901
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Posted - 2015.08.08 22:42:26 -
[9] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:1400mm Artillery only produce thrust in bursts. The agility is also shite. Why not autocannons?
The artillery acceleration is only there to kick the ship forward while the MWD spools up. Otherwise, yeah, it won't turn for shite. |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
901
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Posted - 2015.08.08 22:48:31 -
[10] - Quote
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:When this Thrasher reaches 11,893.09 M/s
...You are gonna see some serious ****....
Can you imagine what modern weapons technology could do to the fleets of the original Matari Reclamation? |
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Mizhir
Matari Exodus The Camel Empire
74519
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Posted - 2015.08.08 23:43:31 -
[11] - Quote
The Gutter Press once again provides statements from qualified persons.
One Man Crew - Collective Solo PVP - Video is out!
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Andreus Ixiris
Duty.
5576
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Posted - 2015.08.09 07:06:22 -
[12] - Quote
I was going to comment on the utter absurdity of this conspiracy theory but it's already self-evident and there's no fun in that, so let us for a moment entertain the possibility that it might be true.
I would question why the Drifters - if they are future Minmatar - didn't just go back and stop the Day of Darkness from happening. I mean, I suppose it could be argued that if they did so they'd negate their own existence, since if the Day of Darkness and the ensuing millenia of Minmatar slavery didn't happen, they'd have no reason to go back in time to stop it. On the other hand, coming back at a later date could, via anticausality, actually ensure their existence, as if the Minmatar found themselves free of the Amarr Empire by benefice of the Drifters they'd be required to develop technology along paths that would inevitably create the Drifters to make sure they'd actually be able to go eventually go back in time and make it happen.
Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.
Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.
Andreus Ixiris > ...
Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
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Anyanka Funk
MASS A DEATH Mordus Angels
200
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Posted - 2015.08.09 07:30:27 -
[13] - Quote
Muck Raker wrote: "Whatever they are, I have faith that men like Anslo Tetua are hard enough to stand against them", said an Intaki exotic dancer.
Hard enough to stand against them indeed. |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
909
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Posted - 2015.08.09 07:34:10 -
[14] - Quote
Andreus Ixiris wrote:On the other hand, coming back at a later date could, via anticausality, actually ensure their existence, as if the Minmatar found themselves free of the Amarr Empire by benefice of the Drifters they'd be required to develop technology along paths that would inevitably create the Drifters to make sure they'd actually be able to go eventually go back in time and make it happen.
Nonsense. If the Drifters were future Matari, then that might be true. However! That merely proves they cannot be.
If the Republic is freed of the Empire's interference by the Drifters' intervention, then we'd be required to develop technology that would lead to the Drifters. We would be enslaved by causality itself! And we all know that the Republic rejects enslavement, and so if fate itself were to command us, to seek to compel us to create the Drifters, we'd bomb ourselves back to the Stone Age in defiance!
And those Drifter superweapons don't run on smashing rocks together to get a spark!
So, clearly, they cannot be us. If they were us, we'd have to make them. If we have to make them, we won't. Ergo, they're actually future Caldari.
I mean, come on. Overshielding technology? Those sharp angles? It's obvious it's an attempt by Future Caldari to frame Future Minmatar, in order to ensure we do bomb ourselves back into the Stone Age in order to defy the enslaving tyranny of causality!
Honestly, how did you not see that? |
Muck Raker
Gutter Press
641
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Posted - 2015.08.09 12:52:03 -
[15] - Quote
Mizhir wrote:The Gutter Press once again provides statements from qualified persons.
Many of the Federation's greatest philosophers, scientists, engineers and artists, were also trained in exotic dance.
Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
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Andreus Ixiris
Duty.
5578
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Posted - 2015.08.09 12:55:58 -
[16] - Quote
I wish Anslo Tetua was hard enough to stand against me - wait, what?
Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.
Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.
Andreus Ixiris > ...
Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
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Haruchai Khan
Metropolitan Police Service
122
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Posted - 2015.08.09 13:28:24 -
[17] - Quote
Muck Raker wrote:
Many of the Federation's greatest philosophers, scientists, engineers and artists, were also trained in exotic dance.
My colleagues in the Vice Squad can confirm that a fair number of them certainly study it a great deal.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
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Frenjo Borkstar
Borkstar Laboratories
124
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Posted - 2015.08.09 17:37:58 -
[18] - Quote
I love how some complete random people have been asked, rather than the actual experts who could offer some sensible opinions...
Dr. Frenjo Borkstar,
//Founder of the Drifter Research Assembly//
Lead for Arek'Jaalan's Project Salus, Co-Lead for Project Trireme,
Borkstar Laboratories.
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
941
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Posted - 2015.08.09 17:56:56 -
[19] - Quote
Frenjo Borkstar wrote:I love how some complete random people have been asked, rather than the actual experts who could offer some sensible opinions...
It sure doesn't look like they were randomly selected.
Anyway, Frenjo, if you want interviewed, then it looks like you better learn how to dance.
Shake that moneymaker, Frenjo !
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Soren Tyrhanos
PIE Inc. Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
97
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Posted - 2015.08.09 23:20:45 -
[20] - Quote
I knew it...... |
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Sinti Vailatti
Royal Khanid Colonial Exploration
0
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Posted - 2015.08.10 04:23:59 -
[21] - Quote
Damn...
A girl goes on vaca for a bit and everyone gets space-happy... |
Erica Dusette
Isogen 5
49760
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Posted - 2015.08.10 04:28:36 -
[22] - Quote
Frenjo Borkstar wrote:I love how some complete random people have been asked, rather than the actual experts who could offer some sensible opinions...
I think that route's been attempted, Doctor, as evidenced by the thirty-odd thousand Drifter-related IGS threads and dozens of attempts at forming a single coherant force to invesitgate the creatures.
Pretty sure this is the first time anyone's asked dancers though. Not that I read this one either.
Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!
Part-Time Wormhole Pirate pâä Full-Time Supermodel
Gû+ -+eep+¦ng -+y pro-++¦-òe -ò+¦nce 17|12|116 GÖÑ
Gû+ wor-+-+ole d+¦ary + c-+arac-éer -¦+¦o-ò
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Claudia Osyn
Minmatar Confederate Ushra'Khan
1408
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Posted - 2015.08.10 05:04:56 -
[23] - Quote
The drifter are my minios. For 1 Trillion ISK, I'll tell them to go away.
A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
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Corraidhin Farsaidh
Farsaidh's Freeborn
1518
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Posted - 2015.08.10 09:27:23 -
[24] - Quote
Erica Dusette wrote:Frenjo Borkstar wrote:I love how some complete random people have been asked, rather than the actual experts who could offer some sensible opinions...
I think that route's been attempted, Doctor, as evidenced by the thirty-odd thousand Drifter-related IGS threads and dozens of attempts at forming a single coherant force to invesitgate the creatures. Pretty sure this is the first time anyone's asked dancers though. Not that I read this one either.
I was just disappointed they didn't ask the dancers whilst they were performing.
Gutter Press: News with extra jiggle... |
Anabella Rella
Gradient
1993
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Posted - 2015.08.10 21:10:08 -
[25] - Quote
As a physics professor once said to me, "These damned time paradoxes give me a headache".
When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
946
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Posted - 2015.08.10 21:19:56 -
[26] - Quote
Anabella Rella wrote:As a physics professor once said to me, "These damned time paradoxes give me a headache".
Did he say that in the past ? Or will he say that in the future ?
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
950
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Posted - 2015.08.10 21:33:15 -
[27] - Quote
Valerie Valate wrote:Anabella Rella wrote:As a physics professor once said to me, "These damned time paradoxes give me a headache". Did he say that in the past ? Or will he say that in the future ?
Or will he have been going to have said it? |
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
947
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Posted - 2015.08.10 21:41:54 -
[28] - Quote
Arrendis wrote:Valerie Valate wrote:Anabella Rella wrote:As a physics professor once said to me, "These damned time paradoxes give me a headache". Did he say that in the past ? Or will he say that in the future ? Or will he have been going to have said it?
There's only one way to find out ! Quickly ! To the Time Machine !
Actually... scratch that. With a Time Machine, there is, quite clearly, no rush. Therefore, at a Reasonably Sedate Pace ! To the Time Machine !
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Soren Tyrhanos
PIE Inc. Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
101
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Posted - 2015.08.10 23:13:49 -
[29] - Quote
Sinti Vailatti wrote:Damn...
A girl goes on vaca for a bit and everyone gets space-happy...
Sure but nonsensical gossip..... sorry factually accounted for sources and professional presentation of the news is a welcome diversion from the typical "You! No you! No you!" of inter empire capsuleer politics and moral justifications. |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
956
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Posted - 2015.08.11 04:10:51 -
[30] - Quote
Soren Tyrhanos wrote:Sinti Vailatti wrote:Damn...
A girl goes on vaca for a bit and everyone gets space-happy... Sure but nonsensical gossip..... sorry factually accounted for sources and professional presentation of the news is a welcome diversion from the typical "You! No you! No you!" of inter empire capsuleer politics and moral justifications.
Nuh-UH! |
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