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Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
124
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Posted - 2012.01.23 23:31:00 -
[61] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.
Reverse psychology worked better than you could possibly expect:
I HOPE EVERYONE POSTING IN THIS THREAD DOESN'T GET CANCER |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
33
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Posted - 2012.01.23 23:55:00 -
[62] - Quote
Istvaan Shogaatsu wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something. Reverse psychology worked better than you could possibly expect: I HOPE EVERYONE POSTING IN THIS THREAD DOESN'T GET CANCER
Granted, nobody gets Cancer. They get AIDS, and no cake, until they die. You monster.
I wish the powers that be released a cure for AIDS. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
9
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Posted - 2012.01.24 00:01:00 -
[63] - Quote
Wish granted. As soon as someone perfects a cure for both AIDS and Cancer, their head explodes and you here a repeated recochet sound and you see sparks everywhere. After the bullet finally stops moving and drops to the ground, it is confirmed to not have come from any gun and to have gone off on its own and literally picked a random direction to start flying in. SHAME ON YOU, STRAY BULLET!
I wish I had a huge crate of COMBUSTABLE LEMONS THAT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Umega
Solis Mensa
58
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Posted - 2012.01.24 08:22:00 -
[64] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote: I wish I had a huge crate of COMBUSTABLE LEMONS THAT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
Success. You burnt my ******* house down. But in doing so.. it is found that a chemical reaction occurs between the citric acid in lemons and some sort of white substance found on my **** mags, that when heated to house-on-fire tempuratures, created a cure for both Aids and Cancer. I become rich and famous while you end up in prison for arson where your cellmate Bubba ends up giving you butt herpes.. to which there is no cure for.
I wish the Earth had three moons. |
testawan
Secret Squirrel Nut Patrol Hello Kitty Safety Beach Patrol
1
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Posted - 2012.01.24 10:29:00 -
[65] - Quote
Granted. However the gravity oddly only picks you and you slowly float towards them. When you hit one of them it knocks its orbit into another and then both float aimlessly towards a star far far away. You however are a russians bad day when he get his white shirt all red.
I wish for a cup of tea without poison. |
Indahmawar Fazmarai
The I and F Taxation Trust
206
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Posted - 2012.01.24 14:03:00 -
[66] - Quote
Granted. You are having your cup of tea with a smile when the teaspoon killer grabs your spoon and begins killing you with it.
I wish that I had a wish. |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
33
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Posted - 2012.01.24 18:09:00 -
[67] - Quote
Indahmawar Fazmarai wrote:Granted. You are having your cup of tea with a smile when the teaspoon killer grabs your spoon and begins killing you with it.
I wish that I had a wish.
Granted, you wish to stare at my smug avatar all day long.
I wish I for oranges.
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Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
13
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Posted - 2012.01.26 00:04:00 -
[68] - Quote
Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
0
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Posted - 2012.01.26 00:05:00 -
[69] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... ... Any suggestions, guys? I'm new to the game and need help starting out. Can somebody give me some loans? |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
13
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Posted - 2012.01.27 05:21:00 -
[70] - Quote
Bumpity Bum-bum Ba-Bump This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
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JordanParey
Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
29
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Posted - 2012.01.27 08:48:00 -
[71] - Quote
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... The pony teaches you the value of true friendship and caring. I wish for x-ray specs that really work.
Granted, but they only work on fat, hairy men with obnoxious boners, and you can't take them off.
I wish my pajamas were printed with a $20-dollar-bill graphic instead of a $100-dollar-bill graphic. |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released 0ccupational Hazzard
428
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Posted - 2012.01.27 12:13:00 -
[72] - Quote
JordanParey wrote:Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... The pony teaches you the value of true friendship and caring. I wish for x-ray specs that really work. Granted, but they only work on fat, hairy men with obnoxious boners, and you can't take them off. I wish my pajamas were printed with a $20-dollar-bill graphic instead of a $100-dollar-bill graphic.
Granted, but the PJ would have assless pants and you'd have to serve a long line of men every night with your ass.
I wish I cared. I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
Zagam
Incompertus INC Fatal Ascension
482
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 13:53:00 -
[73] - Quote
Alpheias wrote:
Granted, but the PJ would have assless pants and you'd have to serve a long line of men every night with your ass.
I wish I cared.
Wish granted. You care so much that after reading posts here on the forums, you simply can't take the stress any longer, and gouge your eyes out with a rusty spoon.
I wish that any curse placed upon me by my wishes bounces back on the person who corrupted it. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
hotpot inc
792
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 15:25:00 -
[74] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.
Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom.
I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
hotpot inc
792
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 15:27:00 -
[75] - Quote
Zagam wrote:I wish that any curse placed upon me by my wishes bounces back on the person who corrupted it.
Unfortunately, the corruption of the wish is that the person you replied to would suffer horribly bad luck. As that is reflected onto me, and I replied to you... |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
41
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 18:17:00 -
[76] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something. Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom. I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day.
Granted. You can now play games all day, everyday. You never leave the safety of your computer chair. In fact, you install a plumbing system underneath your chair, and hire a deranged butler to serve your basic human needs day in and day out, because you can afford to. After months pass and even years, your body grows obscenely obese with the lack of activity, and your very skin eventually grafts itself into the fabric on your throne, securing you biologically and permanently to the chair. One fateful day you get a call on your bluetooth headset from your financial advisor. Your investments have plummeted. You're broke.
I wish I didn't have such a grotesque vision of what I just typed going through my head. |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released 0ccupational Hazzard
431
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Posted - 2012.01.27 18:26:00 -
[77] - Quote
F'lix wrote:FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something. Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom. I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day. Granted. You can now play games all day, everyday. You never leave the safety of your computer chair. In fact, you install a plumbing system underneath your chair, and hire a deranged butler to serve your basic human needs day in and day out, because you can afford to. After months pass and even years, your body grows obscenely obese with the lack of activity, and your very skin eventually grafts itself into the fabric on your throne, securing you biologically and permanently to the chair. One fateful day you get a call on your bluetooth headset from your financial advisor. Your investments have plummeted. You're broke. I wish I didn't have such a grotesque vision of what I just typed going through my head.
Not granted. It is stuck there, with psychedelic colors and a Justin Beiber singing baby baby baby oh.
I wish I could be nice, make constructive posts and make a contribution to these forums. I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
15
|
Posted - 2012.01.28 15:34:00 -
[78] - Quote
Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
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Posted - 2012.01.30 06:51:00 -
[79] - Quote
Don't tell me everyone lost interest. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
JordanParey
Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
29
|
Posted - 2012.01.30 10:09:00 -
[80] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player.
Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them.
Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life.
I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind. |
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Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
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Posted - 2012.01.31 00:55:00 -
[81] - Quote
JordanParey wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them. Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life. I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind.
Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk!
I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Yorick rashnikov
Lost Society Get Off My Lawn
13
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Posted - 2012.01.31 08:27:00 -
[82] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:JordanParey wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them. Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life. I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind. Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk! I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason.
Granted, but you know have an old 56kbit dial up connection.
I wish i had a 300lb chocolate cake. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
|
Posted - 2012.02.01 00:49:00 -
[83] - Quote
Yorick rashnikov wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:JordanParey wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them. Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life. I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind. Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk! I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason. Granted, but you know have an old 56kbit dial up connection. I wish i had a 300lb chocolate cake. Wish granted. Right as you are about to take the first slice, you fall through a trap door into an incinerator room. In addition, there are little alcoves in the walls populated by Aperture Science brand Turrets.
I wish I had a Portal Gun. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Nephilius
Grey Legionaires
307
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Posted - 2012.02.01 01:08:00 -
[84] - Quote
Wish Granted. However, in your excitement, you fail to read the instructions on proper use of Portal Gun. The gun backfires, creating a singularity that exists just long enough to cause you to spaghettify. Your mangled corpse is later found, and after a national news story, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is claimed to be a reality. Clever atheists everywhere curse their brilliance, and develop a life-long aversion to pasta dishes.
I wish that Stephanie Meyer had never written the Twilight series, instead opting for Weight Watchers, finding a nice man, getting married and never developing serious mental issues that she now passes on to tens of millions of impressionable people. To stand before a man at an inquisition, knowing that he will rejoice when we die, knowing that he will commit us to the stake and its horrors without a moment's hesitation or remorse if we do not satisfy him, is not an experience much less cruel because our inquisitor does not whip us or rack us or shout at us. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
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Posted - 2012.02.01 20:33:00 -
[85] - Quote
Nephilius wrote:Wish Granted. However, in your excitement, you fail to read the instructions on proper use of Portal Gun. The gun backfires, creating a singularity that exists just long enough to cause you to spaghettify. Your mangled corpse is later found, and after a national news story, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is claimed to be a reality. Clever atheists everywhere curse their brilliance, and develop a life-long aversion to pasta dishes.
I wish that Stephanie Meyer had never written the Twilight series, instead opting for Weight Watchers, finding a nice man, getting married and never developing serious mental issues that she now passes on to tens of millions of impressionable people. Wish granted. Now the world is overrun with something even worse than Twilight fans.
If only my cat wasn't a dumbass, eh? This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
42
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Posted - 2012.02.03 01:57:00 -
[86] - Quote
You guys don't know Canadian, eh? You want me to say my wish in American instead?
I wish my cat wasn't ********. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Kiroma Halandri
Republic Military School Minmatar Republic
1
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Posted - 2012.02.04 05:16:00 -
[87] - Quote
Wish granted. Your cat is no longer ********. They become so intelligent that they program a computer virus which shuts down your computer's cooling system, causing it to overheat and melt on the inside. Right afterwards, your two cats enslave the entire human race.
I wish I was a member of the CIA, that way I could make any person dissapear whenever I wanted to. If you are being trolled, be an ass-hole to everybody. |
Hans Zwaardhandler
Borealis Mining Concern IMPERIAL LEGI0N
0
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Posted - 2012.02.04 14:12:00 -
[88] - Quote
Granted. Your constant use of making people disappear as your power for hunger grows soon sparks a federal investigation, and you are thrown in prison when you attempt to make the president "disappear".
I wish that I didn't have so many connection crashes when I am playing EVE. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
62
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Posted - 2012.02.04 21:30:00 -
[89] - Quote
Wish granted. Just like me, you now have a 56kbit dial-up connection.
I wish I had a Strategic Cruiser. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released 0ccupational Hazzard
445
|
Posted - 2012.02.04 22:16:00 -
[90] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. Just like me, you now have a 56kbit dial-up connection.
I wish I had a Strategic Cruiser.
Granted. But I blew it up.
I wish you stopped posting, like you said you would. I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
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