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Amaroq Dricaldari
Vengeance Industrial Militia
0
|
Posted - 2011.12.21 20:39:00 -
[1] - Quote
If any of you remember the original Corrupt-a-Wish thread, then you don't need me to explain it. But I will explain it for those who haven't heard of it yet.
Basically, you grant the wish of the poster above you, but you corrupt it in some minor way. Then, you make your own wish.
As with the Corrupt-a-Wish tradition, I will start the game by making my wish. Have fun, and remember this: You have to be careful what you wish for.
I wish I had the best computer in the world. And no, the human brain does not count. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
190
|
Posted - 2011.12.21 20:42:00 -
[2] - Quote
You get a HP-85, top of the line 1980!
I wish my cat didn't have diabetes |
Selinate
176
|
Posted - 2011.12.21 20:43:00 -
[3] - Quote
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:You get a HP-85, top of the line 1980!
I wish my cat didn't have diabetes
Granted, your cat is dead, and no longer suffers from diabetes (too easy).
I wish I had a pony. |
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
328
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 00:28:00 -
[4] - Quote
Selinate wrote:Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:You get a HP-85, top of the line 1980!
I wish my cat didn't have diabetes Granted, your cat is dead, and no longer suffers from diabetes (too easy). I wish I had a pony.
The pony kicks your teeth out, and every redneck you meet says "you gotta might fine mouth there".
|
Taedrin
Kushan Industrial
179
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 00:41:00 -
[5] - Quote
Herzog Wolfhammer wrote:
The pony kicks your teeth out, and every redneck you meet says "you gotta might fine mouth there".
Because you didn't wish for anything, nothing ever happens. You are stuck in a dead end job for the rest of you life, never have a love life and never amount to anything. Then you die.
I wish I got more financial aid from my school. |
SpaceSquirrels
35
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 01:18:00 -
[6] - Quote
Taedrin wrote:Herzog Wolfhammer wrote:
The pony kicks your teeth out, and every redneck you meet says "you gotta might fine mouth there".
Because you didn't wish for anything, nothing ever happens. You are stuck in a dead end job for the rest of you life, never have a love life and never amount to anything. Then you die. I wish I got more financial aid from my school.
You get more money but at the cost of having to not only major in psychology, communications, English lit, and marketing. You have to get a PH.D in all of them, (Thus no respect from anyone that matters) and work in the school for the rest of your life.
I wish for more wishes. |
stoicfaux
420
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 01:33:00 -
[7] - Quote
SpaceSquirrels wrote: I wish for more wishes.
*poof* You're sent to hell. For each of the endless number of torments available to you, you wish for escape from each one. That's a *lot* of wishes that won't be granted.
I wish for immortality.
You can tell me what is and isn't true when you pry the tinfoil from my cold, lifeless head.
|
SpaceSquirrels
35
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 01:40:00 -
[8] - Quote
You get immortality, but you continue to age...even stay alive in a age induced feeble coma.
I wish for ponies!! |
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
25
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 02:29:00 -
[9] - Quote
SpaceSquirrels wrote:I wish for ponies!!
You get several ponies, but realize you've wasted your chance for an interesting wish. They crap everywhere, are picky eaters, and always look cold and sad in your small back yard, where you wonder if it's legal or humane to keep them at all.
No one humane wants to buy them because you have no breeding history/papers and can't explain where they came from. Eventually, out of options, you sell them to a strange man for a small amount of cash, and never hear from him again.
The guilt and uncertainty haunts you.
I wish for the December 23rd 2011 Mega Millions winning lottery numbers. If the reply includes six numbers (one or two digits) I WILL go play them. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
190
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 04:27:00 -
[10] - Quote
VKhaun Vex wrote:SpaceSquirrels wrote:I wish for ponies!! You get several ponies, but realize you've wasted your chance for an interesting wish. They crap everywhere, are picky eaters, and always look cold and sad in your small back yard, where you wonder if it's legal or humane to keep them at all. No one humane wants to buy them because you have no breeding history/papers and can't explain where they came from. Eventually, out of options, you sell them to a strange man for a small amount of cash, and never hear from him again. The guilt and uncertainty haunts you. I wish for the December 23rd 2011 Mega Millions winning lottery numbers. If the reply includes six numbers (one or two digits) I WILL go play them.
3 3 3 3 3 3
You're not going to win
I wish I had a bigger bottle of whiskey |
|
Bernie Nator
Insidious Design Talocan United
32
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 05:05:00 -
[11] - Quote
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:VKhaun Vex wrote:SpaceSquirrels wrote:I wish for ponies!! You get several ponies, but realize you've wasted your chance for an interesting wish. They crap everywhere, are picky eaters, and always look cold and sad in your small back yard, where you wonder if it's legal or humane to keep them at all. No one humane wants to buy them because you have no breeding history/papers and can't explain where they came from. Eventually, out of options, you sell them to a strange man for a small amount of cash, and never hear from him again. The guilt and uncertainty haunts you. I wish for the December 23rd 2011 Mega Millions winning lottery numbers. If the reply includes six numbers (one or two digits) I WILL go play them. 3 3 3 3 3 3 You're not going to win I wish I had a bigger bottle of whiskey
BLAM. You're imprisoned in a large sealed bottle of whiskey. The cheap kind.
I wish to have the correct change for whatever purchase I am making in my pocket. |
Renturu
Tribal Spirit Tribal Unity Alliance
8
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 05:07:00 -
[12] - Quote
Wish granted! But the alcohol content is so high, you slip into an alcohol induced coma for the rest of your life.
I wish for a pinata as big as a car. |
Alara IonStorm
674
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 06:15:00 -
[13] - Quote
Renturu wrote: I wish for a pinata as big as a car.
When you break it a Car falls to the ground in a crumpled destroyed gas soaked wreck.
I want a Hug. |
Bernie Nator
Insidious Design Talocan United
32
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 06:44:00 -
[14] - Quote
You get hugged. By a bear on meth.
I wish someone remembered my wish. |
Renturu
Tribal Spirit Tribal Unity Alliance
8
|
Posted - 2011.12.22 08:30:00 -
[15] - Quote
Bernie Nator wrote:You get hugged. By a bear on meth.
I wish someone remembered my wish.
Granted:
Suddenly all of the worlds population remembers your wish. They begin to hunt you down like rabid Twilight Moms with the insatiable desire to grant it and you trip, fall and hit your head... only to have amnesia and forget your wish.
I wish my wish could be corrupted. |
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
103
|
Posted - 2011.12.31 06:22:00 -
[16] - Quote
Renturu wrote:I wish my wish could be corrupted.
You wish to be a Disney child star, and end up with a drug problem, on the front page for shoplifting, and all over the internet in a poor quality sex tape with someone you will later hate. Then, at your fifteenth birthday party, you announce the beginning of your career as a professional rapper and plead with your agent to keep news of Disney letting you go as quiet as possible.
I wish I could walk through walls. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Vengeance Industrial Militia
3
|
Posted - 2012.01.07 17:54:00 -
[17] - Quote
VKhaun Vex wrote:Renturu wrote:I wish my wish could be corrupted. You wish to be a Disney child star, and end up with a drug problem, on the front page for shoplifting, and all over the internet in a poor quality sex tape with someone you will later hate. Then, at your fifteenth birthday party, you announce the beginning of your career as a professional rapper and plead with your agent to keep news of Disney letting you go as quiet as possible. I wish I could walk through walls.
Wish granted. You can also fall throuugh the ground, so you keep on falling... and falling... and falling... until you hit the earth's mantel and are instantly incinerated.
I wish for the EVE servers to start using GPUs and NPUs (network processing units) to supplement the CPUs, and that it used Memristors instead of Flash Memory. YAY! NO MORE LAG! |
Zoron Dadakath
State War Academy Caldari State
2
|
Posted - 2012.01.07 20:41:00 -
[18] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:I wish for the EVE servers to start using GPUs and NPUs (network processing units) to supplement the CPUs, and that it used Memristors instead of Flash Memory. YAY! NO MORE LAG!
The relentless flux of information is too much for your brain to handle. You're left with a severe trauma, unable to think coherently.
I wish for bacon.
|
Selinate
566
|
Posted - 2012.01.07 21:08:00 -
[19] - Quote
Zoron Dadakath wrote:
The relentless flux of information is too much for your brain to handle. You're left with a severe trauma, unable to think coherently.
I wish for bacon.
Wish granted. You are fat.
I wish for hookers. |
Chainsaw Plankton
IDLE GUNS IDLE EMPIRE
58
|
Posted - 2012.01.07 21:18:00 -
[20] - Quote
wish granted, but they are tranny hookers
I wish for a hug from the bear on meth! |
|
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
265
|
Posted - 2012.01.07 22:18:00 -
[21] - Quote
Chainsaw Plankton wrote:wish granted, but they are tranny hookers
I wish for a hug from the bear on meth!
The bear hugs you while you're high on meth... but now you're hooked on meth....
I wish someone would post some cool stuffs in my cool stuffs thread. I had high hopes for that one, but it's bombed. |
Tallianna Avenkarde
Beasts of Burden
212
|
Posted - 2012.01.08 05:03:00 -
[22] - Quote
VKhaun Vex wrote:Chainsaw Plankton wrote:wish granted, but they are tranny hookers
I wish for a hug from the bear on meth! The bear hugs you while you're high on meth... but now you're hooked on meth.... I wish someone would post some cool stuffs in my cool stuffs thread. I had high hopes for that one, but it's bombed.
Wish granted! but it was a shiptoast.
I wish for a 3 way man hug with spanky and xenuria And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell. Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Vengeance Industrial Militia
3
|
Posted - 2012.01.09 00:56:00 -
[23] - Quote
Wish granted. The bear is so strong that you get crushed. The end. |
prwar desu
Shofixti Expedition Ravensgaard
8
|
Posted - 2012.01.09 06:41:00 -
[24] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You will now regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday, and for the rest of your puny life.
I wish my thread didn't dissapear for no reason.
Thread reappeared with a bad reply I wish my cancer hadn't spread to my liver |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War Amarr Empire
4
|
Posted - 2012.01.12 23:30:00 -
[25] - Quote
prwar desu wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You will now regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday, and for the rest of your puny life.
I wish my thread didn't dissapear for no reason. Thread reappeared with a bad reply I wish my cancer hadn't spread to my liver
Wish granted. Fortunately, there is no way for me to corrupt it without being offensive. I hope you get better soon...
--- I wish the United States finally elected a president who wasn't an idiot (this wish is on not just for me, but for people all around the country). My thread in the EVE Fiction forums has dissapeared. Somebody please help! |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
32
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 01:14:00 -
[26] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:prwar desu wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You will now regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday, and for the rest of your puny life.
I wish my thread didn't dissapear for no reason. Thread reappeared with a bad reply I wish my cancer hadn't spread to my liver Wish granted. Fortunately, there is no way for me to corrupt it without being offensive. I hope you get better soon... --- I wish the United States finally elected a president who wasn't an idiot (this wish is on not just for me, but for people all around the country).
Wish granted. The next president of the USA takes over the world. He then devotes several billion dollars towards making him immortal. He then abolishes democracy, which in turn results in a thousand year dynasty of orderly rule, but nobody can prove its violent authority because the leader is smart enough to predict where all dissenters will sprout and prompts stomps out any opposition. He also abducts your mother and uses her as his slave.
I wish my roommate would learn his lesson and stop being such a unhealthy slob and somehow producing bio-hazardous whenever I leave the house for longer than 24 hours.
|
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
274
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 01:44:00 -
[27] - Quote
F'lix wrote:I wish my roommate would learn his lesson and stop being such a unhealthy slob and somehow producing bio-hazardous whenever I leave the house for longer than 24 hours.
Your roommate becomes very serious about his health. Cardio, weights, martial arts. Soon he looks like a model and is one of the strongest men alive. He takes your girlfriend to be his plaything, bullies you physically, and eventually moves out. This leaves you to pay for the room alone with a wounded pride and a broken heart.
I wish for winning lotto numbers again. I never play the lottery really, and I'm making more money know than ever before... but for some reason I've felt like it lately. Six digits please. |
Griff Hardstone
EPSYLON FORCE NZAU Alliance
8
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 04:00:00 -
[28] - Quote
VKhaun Vex wrote:[quote=F'lix]II wish for winning lotto numbers again. I never play the lottery really, and I'm making more money know than ever before... but for some reason I've felt like it lately. Six digits please.
5-7-15-24-26-48
The numbers hit and you win. Suddenly you have six paternity suits against you and family and friends are begging for money. You can't leave the house without people holding their hands out and the phone rings constantly. You escape to another city where you think nobody know you. That night your robbed by a crazed crackhead who takes everything in which you feel a small sense of relief thinking that with everything gone life can go back to normal. When you wake up in the morning you see a letter from the IRS saying you have 7 days to pay 10% of winnings in taxes or face 25 years in prison.
I wish my isp provider would give me the speeds they claim I'm getting.
|
xplosiv
State War Academy Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 14:32:00 -
[29] - Quote
Granted. Now your loved ones become horrified by the amount of prawn you dl. And all leave. You are left a lonely husk with only your crispy clear internet voice clients as means of human contact.
I want a new car |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
32
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 18:07:00 -
[30] - Quote
xplosiv wrote:
I want a new car
Granted, but the transmission breaks the first day you drive it.
I now wish for a pay-raise. |
|
John Caligan
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 22:54:00 -
[31] - Quote
F'lix wrote:xplosiv wrote:
I want a new car
Granted, but the transmission breaks the first day you drive it. I now wish for a pay-raise.
Granted, but your paycheck is now in Zimbabwean dollars.
I wish for a shiny new Battlecruiser. |
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
334
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 23:02:00 -
[32] - Quote
John Caligan wrote:F'lix wrote:xplosiv wrote:
I want a new car
Granted, but the transmission breaks the first day you drive it. I now wish for a pay-raise. Granted, but your paycheck is now in Zimbabwean dollars. I wish for a shiny new Battlecruiser.
You got ti! But your CEO just dismantled your corp and now there are 20 reds waiting for you to undock.
I wish that WiS was completely abandoned and erased from existence. What Crucible made for me: (nothing, null, void, nada) What CCP plans to do for me in 2012: same as above Account expires 14 January 2012 - 3:42 pm.-á
So long CCP, and thanks for all the dry shark. |
Selinate
580
|
Posted - 2012.01.13 23:45:00 -
[33] - Quote
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai wrote: I wish that WiS was completely abandoned and erased from existence.
Granted. There are no more space stations, the one currently in existence crashes to earth and hits your mother's house, killing her. Also, HTFU noob.
I wish for great hardcore **** between a beautiful woman and another beautiful woman. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War Amarr Empire
4
|
Posted - 2012.01.15 04:13:00 -
[34] - Quote
Wish granted. And then a gay guy comes in and ruins the fun.
I wish I could come up with something better. My thread in the EVE Fiction forums has dissapeared. Somebody please help! |
Caellach Marellus
Nephtys Ventures inc
386
|
Posted - 2012.01.15 04:54:00 -
[35] - Quote
Amaroq DricaldariI wrote: wish I could come up with something better.
Granted only you find it's better for those who despise you the most and leads to your slow but excruciatingly painful downfall.
I wish the Raiders would win a Superbowl before the decade is out, and I'm still alive to enjoy it. |
John Caligan
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.01.15 10:23:00 -
[36] - Quote
Okay, but the second after they score the last touchdown, a football crashes through your window, impacting on your temple, causing massive internal damage, and killing you on impact, before exploding in a great ball of napalm.
...I wish I had a fish. A vegetarian one, please. |
Indahmawar Fazmarai
The I and F Taxation Trust
193
|
Posted - 2012.01.15 10:42:00 -
[37] - Quote
John Caligan wrote:Okay, but the second after they score the last touchdown, a football crashes through your window, impacting on your temple, causing massive internal damage, and killing you on impact, before exploding in a great ball of napalm.
...I wish I had a fish. A vegetarian one, please.
Granted. Turns to be a whale shark and the crane downloading it crashes it on your brand new car.
I wish I could whine about nullsec. |
JordanParey
Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
29
|
Posted - 2012.01.15 10:59:00 -
[38] - Quote
Indahmawar Fazmarai wrote:John Caligan wrote:Okay, but the second after they score the last touchdown, a football crashes through your window, impacting on your temple, causing massive internal damage, and killing you on impact, before exploding in a great ball of napalm.
...I wish I had a fish. A vegetarian one, please. Granted. Turns to be a whale shark and the crane downloading it crashes it on your brand new car. I wish I could whine about nullsec.
Granted. More players move into nullsec from high and low, towers go up, moon mining and PI all go up, causing prices to drop all across Eve. Supply outstrips demand, but since the ISK faucet keeps opening up more and nothing gets bought, inflation goes way up and nothing sells anymore. CCP implements a fix but in their infinite wisdom a minor oversight causes prices to stay ridiculously high but removes all methods of making ISK from the game. People fight and fight until the ISK runs out and then there's nothing. Congratulations, you just effectively killed Eve. Money wasted and people leaving, Eve turns into a wasteland of bitter veterans with nothing better to do than tell "well, back in MY day..." stories, while newbs go through and burn all structures, mods, and ships across New Eden. You now have an excuse to whine about null.
I wish that my boss' daughter would come back and jump my bones with dat ass. |
Rel'k Bloodlor
Mecha Enterprises Fleet
76
|
Posted - 2012.01.16 01:38:00 -
[39] - Quote
JordanParey wrote:
I wish that my boss' daughter would come back and jump my bones with dat ass.
She dose, you get caught, shes 15
I wish one thorax's died a stabber would be left in there place as its skeleton
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War Amarr Empire
4
|
Posted - 2012.01.16 05:19:00 -
[40] - Quote
Wish granted. However, the Stabber is on Auto-Pilot and belongs to the enemy faction, so it automatically pods you.
I pray, not for an easier life, but to be a stronger (metaphorically) man. My thread in the EVE Fiction forums has dissapeared. Somebody please help! |
|
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Science and Trade Institute Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.01.18 04:35:00 -
[41] - Quote
Wish granted. However, you get drunk one day and accidentally turn yourself into a sweetroll. Then someone eats you.
I wish I could get more customers. The economy is in total chaos. Would you like to buy a melon? |
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
276
|
Posted - 2012.01.18 04:56:00 -
[42] - Quote
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:I wish I could get more customers.
Wish granted. Your side job as a prostitute really takes off when the residents of the local retirement home take interest.
I wish I had some fruit snacks. I could really go for some fruit snacks right about now.
|
La Rena
Snow Fox Inc.
2
|
Posted - 2012.01.18 05:23:00 -
[43] - Quote
Quote:I could really go for some fruit snacks right about now
You finally get some fruit snacks, but because they are processed with chemicals and such, you get chronic explosive diarrhea.
I wish to find a wormhole that goes straight into jove space |
Griff Hardstone
Capricornus Industries
8
|
Posted - 2012.01.18 07:39:00 -
[44] - Quote
La Rena wrote:I wish to find a wormhole that goes straight into jove space
You find one, but it collapses behind you, the Jovian technology in your new ship will allow you to jump thousands of AU's. So instead of a 2,000 year trip back it will only take you 200 years.
I wish I had replicator like in Star Trek for food and drink. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War Amarr Empire
5
|
Posted - 2012.01.18 23:33:00 -
[45] - Quote
Wish granted. It mysteriously starts giving you catfood.
I REALLY wish SOPA and PIPA won't be passed. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War Amarr Empire
5
|
Posted - 2012.01.20 00:30:00 -
[46] - Quote
Since this thread is too awesome to die, I will attempt to corrupt my own wish.
Wish granted, but now they are going to use our internet rights against us.
---
I WISH FOR PIE! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Science and Trade Institute Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.01.21 02:58:00 -
[47] - Quote
Wish granted. It is one of my famous meatpies.
I wish for an 'Assination' via Natural Disaster to occur. Alternate Wish: I wish for 'Assination' by Over-Charged Tazer. I'm new to the game and need help starting out. Can somebody give me some loans? |
Deviana Sevidon
Jades Falcon Guards
263
|
Posted - 2012.01.22 23:34:00 -
[48] - Quote
Granted.
The disaster is a damaged a nuclear power plant just a few km away from your home, getting damaged by an earthquake. It releases a high amount of radiation but before it goes down the generators create a power surge that somehow overcharges a taser weapon and when it discharges, it goes right in your behind. Because you are completely irradiated, it is still the least of your worries.
I wish I had some cybernetic implants. |
Tiberius Sunstealer
Phantom Soulreavers
66
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 03:33:00 -
[49] - Quote
Deviana Sevidon wrote:I wish I had some cybernetic implants. You recieve a million of each Limited cybernetic implant and whenever you plug-in a cybernetic implant that isn't Limited, it turns into a Limited and deducts a billion ISK from your wallet.
I wish for a titan (because i'm an idiot). |
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
279
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 04:58:00 -
[50] - Quote
Tiberius Sunstealer wrote:Deviana Sevidon wrote:I wish I had some cybernetic implants. You recieve a million of each Limited cybernetic implant and whenever you plug-in a cybernetic implant that isn't Limited, it turns into a Limited and deducts a billion ISK from your wallet. I wish for a titan (because i'm an idiot).
A giant titan appears near your home and pulverizes it, along with your car and everything else in sight for hours until it is finally brought down by military aircraft firing missiles.
I wish I had remembered to set my skill queue before going to work. >.< |
|
Xercodo
Disturbed Friends Of Diazepam Dark Matter Coalition
822
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 06:26:00 -
[51] - Quote
VKhaun Vex wrote:
I wish I had remembered to set my skill queue before going to work. >.<
Granted, you queued up Jury Rigging 5, completely useless to you as you only need 4 to use T2 rigs or to train any other rig types. It's only purpose is for T3 subsystem manufacture.
You get home to find that your queue is stuck in this state and any attempt to petition it crashes EVE, petitions via the website cause an error on your browser, the forum eats all your posts about the issue.
The only posts that do get through are ones full of rage about everything but nothing specifically. You are banned because of several of these threads being marked as spam and ranting.
I wish I'd stop veering off the carrier skill plan :3 The Drake is a Lie |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation.
9
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 08:08:00 -
[52] - Quote
Xercodo wrote:VKhaun Vex wrote:
I wish I had remembered to set my skill queue before going to work. >.<
Granted, you queued up Jury Rigging 5, completely useless to you as you only need 4 to use T2 rigs or to train any other rig types. It's only purpose is for T3 subsystem manufacture. You get home to find that your queue is stuck in this state and any attempt to petition it crashes EVE, petitions via the website cause an error on your browser, the forum eats all your posts about the issue. The only posts that do get through are ones full of rage about everything but nothing specifically. You are banned because of several of these threads being marked as spam and ranting. I wish I'd stop veering off the carrier skill plan :3
Wish granted, unfortunately you get podded twice in a row and forgot to re-upgrade your clone.
Trying to type with a Kindle Fire sucks (I had to use it to type that). I wish that I had a keyboard dock for the damn thing. And I want a Mechanicle Keyboard, not a crappy touchscreen one. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Umega
Solis Mensa
50
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 08:25:00 -
[53] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote: And I want a Mechanicle Keyboard, not a crappy touchscreen one.
Success. You get your mechanical keyboard and begin to type away with a content smile, a glint in your eyes from the pleasure.. until the 'I' key springs off the keyboard and hits you directly in the eye! 'The Irony!' You try to exclaim on your mechanical keyboard to your friends in EVE, but can't cause you have no more 'I' key to hit. While rolling on the ground in pain.. your most expensive ship gets blown up. Then you end up having to wear an eye patch.. and when you wear an eye patch you look tough.. and when you look tough.. ppl want to know how tough.. and when ppl want to know how tough, you end up in a road side ditch.
I wish I was a tree. |
VKhaun Vex
Viziam Amarr Empire
279
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 09:23:00 -
[54] - Quote
Umega wrote:...'I' key springs off the keyboard and hits you directly in the eye! 'The Irony!'
I see what you did there.
|
Shalia Ripper
The Elevens
85
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 09:36:00 -
[55] - Quote
Umega wrote: I wish I was a tree.
Wish granted, you are a stately tree, living happily in the forest until a server winter storm comes along. The freezing ice and feet of snow rip off all of your branches leaving you bare of all foliage. After the storm, a logger comes along, cuts you down and ships you to market. You are purchased by a large tampon manufacturer and are turned into a bloody mess. Eventually.
I wish I could fly.
|
W1rlW1nd
The Scope Gallente Federation
17
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 13:08:00 -
[56] - Quote
Shalia Ripper wrote: I wish I could fly.
Wish granted. You are now a Velator, flying free through the vastness of space inside a video game called EVE. What joy and exhilaration as you look upon the boundless stars, so many new star systems and adventures beckon. The new player flying you decides to shoot at a gate to see what will happen. . . the gate guns blow you to bits in one shot.
I wish I had more money to pay my rent. |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
33
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 21:58:00 -
[57] - Quote
W1rlW1nd wrote:Shalia Ripper wrote: I wish I could fly.
Wish granted. You are now a Velator, flying free through the vastness of space inside a video game called EVE. What joy and exhilaration as you look upon the boundless stars, so many new star systems and adventures beckon. The new player flying you decides to shoot at a gate to see what will happen. . . the gate guns blow you to bits in one shot. I wish I had more money to pay my rent.
Success, but your ass will never quite recover and you walk worse than a bow-legged cowboy. You are then evicted because your neighbours complained of loud screaming for several nights.
I wish a small Orchestra followed me everywhere I went, making my life more epic with spontaneous theme music. |
Zagam
Incompertus INC Fatal Ascension
475
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 22:20:00 -
[58] - Quote
F'lix wrote:
Success, but your ass will never quite recover and you walk worse than a bow-legged cowboy. You are then evicted because your neighbours complained of loud screaming for several nights.
I wish a small Orchestra followed me everywhere I went, making my life more epic with spontaneous theme music.
The small orchestra follows you everywhere, but also guarantees you will never get laid. EVER.
I wish for a single day of intelligent posting on the EVE-O forums.
|
JordanParey
Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
29
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 22:31:00 -
[59] - Quote
Zagam wrote:F'lix wrote:
Success, but your ass will never quite recover and you walk worse than a bow-legged cowboy. You are then evicted because your neighbours complained of loud screaming for several nights.
I wish a small Orchestra followed me everywhere I went, making my life more epic with spontaneous theme music.
The small orchestra follows you everywhere, but also guarantees you will never get laid. EVER. I wish for a single day of intelligent posting on the EVE-O forums.
Wish granted, but everything posted is so far above your level of understanding that it causes blood to spontaneously erupt from any and all openings in your body. The pain of blood squirting from your eyes, nose, ears, mouth, ass, and peehole causes you to stop wanting to play Eve.
I wish for a single day of really STUPID posting on the Eve-O forums. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
9
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 23:14:00 -
[60] - Quote
Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
|
Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
124
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 23:31:00 -
[61] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.
Reverse psychology worked better than you could possibly expect:
I HOPE EVERYONE POSTING IN THIS THREAD DOESN'T GET CANCER |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
33
|
Posted - 2012.01.23 23:55:00 -
[62] - Quote
Istvaan Shogaatsu wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something. Reverse psychology worked better than you could possibly expect: I HOPE EVERYONE POSTING IN THIS THREAD DOESN'T GET CANCER
Granted, nobody gets Cancer. They get AIDS, and no cake, until they die. You monster.
I wish the powers that be released a cure for AIDS. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
9
|
Posted - 2012.01.24 00:01:00 -
[63] - Quote
Wish granted. As soon as someone perfects a cure for both AIDS and Cancer, their head explodes and you here a repeated recochet sound and you see sparks everywhere. After the bullet finally stops moving and drops to the ground, it is confirmed to not have come from any gun and to have gone off on its own and literally picked a random direction to start flying in. SHAME ON YOU, STRAY BULLET!
I wish I had a huge crate of COMBUSTABLE LEMONS THAT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Umega
Solis Mensa
58
|
Posted - 2012.01.24 08:22:00 -
[64] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote: I wish I had a huge crate of COMBUSTABLE LEMONS THAT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
Success. You burnt my ******* house down. But in doing so.. it is found that a chemical reaction occurs between the citric acid in lemons and some sort of white substance found on my **** mags, that when heated to house-on-fire tempuratures, created a cure for both Aids and Cancer. I become rich and famous while you end up in prison for arson where your cellmate Bubba ends up giving you butt herpes.. to which there is no cure for.
I wish the Earth had three moons. |
testawan
Secret Squirrel Nut Patrol Hello Kitty Safety Beach Patrol
1
|
Posted - 2012.01.24 10:29:00 -
[65] - Quote
Granted. However the gravity oddly only picks you and you slowly float towards them. When you hit one of them it knocks its orbit into another and then both float aimlessly towards a star far far away. You however are a russians bad day when he get his white shirt all red.
I wish for a cup of tea without poison. |
Indahmawar Fazmarai
The I and F Taxation Trust
206
|
Posted - 2012.01.24 14:03:00 -
[66] - Quote
Granted. You are having your cup of tea with a smile when the teaspoon killer grabs your spoon and begins killing you with it.
I wish that I had a wish. |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
33
|
Posted - 2012.01.24 18:09:00 -
[67] - Quote
Indahmawar Fazmarai wrote:Granted. You are having your cup of tea with a smile when the teaspoon killer grabs your spoon and begins killing you with it.
I wish that I had a wish.
Granted, you wish to stare at my smug avatar all day long.
I wish I for oranges.
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
13
|
Posted - 2012.01.26 00:04:00 -
[68] - Quote
Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
0
|
Posted - 2012.01.26 00:05:00 -
[69] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... ... Any suggestions, guys? I'm new to the game and need help starting out. Can somebody give me some loans? |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
13
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 05:21:00 -
[70] - Quote
Bumpity Bum-bum Ba-Bump This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
|
JordanParey
Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
29
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 08:48:00 -
[71] - Quote
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... The pony teaches you the value of true friendship and caring. I wish for x-ray specs that really work.
Granted, but they only work on fat, hairy men with obnoxious boners, and you can't take them off.
I wish my pajamas were printed with a $20-dollar-bill graphic instead of a $100-dollar-bill graphic. |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released 0ccupational Hazzard
428
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 12:13:00 -
[72] - Quote
JordanParey wrote:Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.
I wisshhhhhhhhh..... Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.
I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead... The pony teaches you the value of true friendship and caring. I wish for x-ray specs that really work. Granted, but they only work on fat, hairy men with obnoxious boners, and you can't take them off. I wish my pajamas were printed with a $20-dollar-bill graphic instead of a $100-dollar-bill graphic.
Granted, but the PJ would have assless pants and you'd have to serve a long line of men every night with your ass.
I wish I cared. I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
Zagam
Incompertus INC Fatal Ascension
482
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 13:53:00 -
[73] - Quote
Alpheias wrote:
Granted, but the PJ would have assless pants and you'd have to serve a long line of men every night with your ass.
I wish I cared.
Wish granted. You care so much that after reading posts here on the forums, you simply can't take the stress any longer, and gouge your eyes out with a rusty spoon.
I wish that any curse placed upon me by my wishes bounces back on the person who corrupted it. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
hotpot inc
792
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 15:25:00 -
[74] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.
Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom.
I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
hotpot inc
792
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 15:27:00 -
[75] - Quote
Zagam wrote:I wish that any curse placed upon me by my wishes bounces back on the person who corrupted it.
Unfortunately, the corruption of the wish is that the person you replied to would suffer horribly bad luck. As that is reflected onto me, and I replied to you... |
F'lix
Shockwave Innovations Stellar Economy Experts
41
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 18:17:00 -
[76] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something. Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom. I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day.
Granted. You can now play games all day, everyday. You never leave the safety of your computer chair. In fact, you install a plumbing system underneath your chair, and hire a deranged butler to serve your basic human needs day in and day out, because you can afford to. After months pass and even years, your body grows obscenely obese with the lack of activity, and your very skin eventually grafts itself into the fabric on your throne, securing you biologically and permanently to the chair. One fateful day you get a call on your bluetooth headset from your financial advisor. Your investments have plummeted. You're broke.
I wish I didn't have such a grotesque vision of what I just typed going through my head. |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released 0ccupational Hazzard
431
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 18:26:00 -
[77] - Quote
F'lix wrote:FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something. Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom. I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day. Granted. You can now play games all day, everyday. You never leave the safety of your computer chair. In fact, you install a plumbing system underneath your chair, and hire a deranged butler to serve your basic human needs day in and day out, because you can afford to. After months pass and even years, your body grows obscenely obese with the lack of activity, and your very skin eventually grafts itself into the fabric on your throne, securing you biologically and permanently to the chair. One fateful day you get a call on your bluetooth headset from your financial advisor. Your investments have plummeted. You're broke. I wish I didn't have such a grotesque vision of what I just typed going through my head.
Not granted. It is stuck there, with psychedelic colors and a Justin Beiber singing baby baby baby oh.
I wish I could be nice, make constructive posts and make a contribution to these forums. I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
15
|
Posted - 2012.01.28 15:34:00 -
[78] - Quote
Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
|
Posted - 2012.01.30 06:51:00 -
[79] - Quote
Don't tell me everyone lost interest. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
JordanParey
Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
29
|
Posted - 2012.01.30 10:09:00 -
[80] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player.
Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them.
Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life.
I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind. |
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
|
Posted - 2012.01.31 00:55:00 -
[81] - Quote
JordanParey wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them. Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life. I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind.
Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk!
I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Yorick rashnikov
Lost Society Get Off My Lawn
13
|
Posted - 2012.01.31 08:27:00 -
[82] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:JordanParey wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them. Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life. I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind. Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk! I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason.
Granted, but you know have an old 56kbit dial up connection.
I wish i had a 300lb chocolate cake. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
|
Posted - 2012.02.01 00:49:00 -
[83] - Quote
Yorick rashnikov wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:JordanParey wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted.
After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.
I wish I was CCP's Favorite player. Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them. Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life. I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind. Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk! I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason. Granted, but you know have an old 56kbit dial up connection. I wish i had a 300lb chocolate cake. Wish granted. Right as you are about to take the first slice, you fall through a trap door into an incinerator room. In addition, there are little alcoves in the walls populated by Aperture Science brand Turrets.
I wish I had a Portal Gun. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Nephilius
Grey Legionaires
307
|
Posted - 2012.02.01 01:08:00 -
[84] - Quote
Wish Granted. However, in your excitement, you fail to read the instructions on proper use of Portal Gun. The gun backfires, creating a singularity that exists just long enough to cause you to spaghettify. Your mangled corpse is later found, and after a national news story, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is claimed to be a reality. Clever atheists everywhere curse their brilliance, and develop a life-long aversion to pasta dishes.
I wish that Stephanie Meyer had never written the Twilight series, instead opting for Weight Watchers, finding a nice man, getting married and never developing serious mental issues that she now passes on to tens of millions of impressionable people. To stand before a man at an inquisition, knowing that he will rejoice when we die, knowing that he will commit us to the stake and its horrors without a moment's hesitation or remorse if we do not satisfy him, is not an experience much less cruel because our inquisitor does not whip us or rack us or shout at us. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
17
|
Posted - 2012.02.01 20:33:00 -
[85] - Quote
Nephilius wrote:Wish Granted. However, in your excitement, you fail to read the instructions on proper use of Portal Gun. The gun backfires, creating a singularity that exists just long enough to cause you to spaghettify. Your mangled corpse is later found, and after a national news story, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is claimed to be a reality. Clever atheists everywhere curse their brilliance, and develop a life-long aversion to pasta dishes.
I wish that Stephanie Meyer had never written the Twilight series, instead opting for Weight Watchers, finding a nice man, getting married and never developing serious mental issues that she now passes on to tens of millions of impressionable people. Wish granted. Now the world is overrun with something even worse than Twilight fans.
If only my cat wasn't a dumbass, eh? This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
42
|
Posted - 2012.02.03 01:57:00 -
[86] - Quote
You guys don't know Canadian, eh? You want me to say my wish in American instead?
I wish my cat wasn't ********. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Kiroma Halandri
Republic Military School Minmatar Republic
1
|
Posted - 2012.02.04 05:16:00 -
[87] - Quote
Wish granted. Your cat is no longer ********. They become so intelligent that they program a computer virus which shuts down your computer's cooling system, causing it to overheat and melt on the inside. Right afterwards, your two cats enslave the entire human race.
I wish I was a member of the CIA, that way I could make any person dissapear whenever I wanted to. If you are being trolled, be an ass-hole to everybody. |
Hans Zwaardhandler
Borealis Mining Concern IMPERIAL LEGI0N
0
|
Posted - 2012.02.04 14:12:00 -
[88] - Quote
Granted. Your constant use of making people disappear as your power for hunger grows soon sparks a federal investigation, and you are thrown in prison when you attempt to make the president "disappear".
I wish that I didn't have so many connection crashes when I am playing EVE. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
62
|
Posted - 2012.02.04 21:30:00 -
[89] - Quote
Wish granted. Just like me, you now have a 56kbit dial-up connection.
I wish I had a Strategic Cruiser. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released 0ccupational Hazzard
445
|
Posted - 2012.02.04 22:16:00 -
[90] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. Just like me, you now have a 56kbit dial-up connection.
I wish I had a Strategic Cruiser.
Granted. But I blew it up.
I wish you stopped posting, like you said you would. I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
62
|
Posted - 2012.02.04 22:32:00 -
[91] - Quote
Wish granted. This thread will now cease to exist.
And if I remember correctly, I only said that I would stop making threads. Replies are a different story entirely.
I wish that one troll ceased to exist and didn't cause me to ragequit the other night. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Hans Zwaardhandler
Borealis Mining Concern IMPERIAL LEGI0N
1
|
Posted - 2012.02.05 02:54:00 -
[92] - Quote
Wish granted. The troll was never born into the world, and you went along happily in EVE. However, an even worse troll pops up, suicide ganks your freighter full of whiskey and boosters, causing you to fling your computer out the window to hit a pedestrian in the face. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
63
|
Posted - 2012.02.05 06:24:00 -
[93] - Quote
You forgot to make a wish. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Kiroma Halandri
Republic Military School Minmatar Republic
5
|
Posted - 2012.02.05 06:25:00 -
[94] - Quote
Hans Zwaardhandler wrote:Wish granted. The troll was never born into the world, and you went along happily in EVE. However, an even worse troll pops up, suicide ganks your freighter full of whiskey and boosters, causing you to fling your computer out the window to hit a pedestrian in the face. Wish granted. Since you didn't make a wish, absolutely nothing happens.
I wish for Faction Shuttles to come into existence, and I want them to be better gameplay-wise than the standard shuttles. *snip* |
W1rlW1nd
The Scope Gallente Federation
35
|
Posted - 2012.02.05 08:29:00 -
[95] - Quote
Kiroma Halandri wrote:...
I wish for Faction Shuttles to come into existence, and I want them to be better gameplay-wise than the standard shuttles.
Wish granted. You are so excited about the prospect of owning a "one of a kind" Interbus Shuttle that you purchase 100 Plex with your credit card and trade them in game for it without question. . . to your horror you then realize that the only thing making it this shuttle better than the standard shuttles is that it has a cargo bay 20m3 instead of 10m3, and was in fact a free gift to each player a few years ago and pretty lame one at that. To add insult to injury it is the same skin as the galente shuttle but painted yellow.
I wish I owned a working PS3, instead of a broken xbox360:(
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
67
|
Posted - 2012.02.06 06:34:00 -
[96] - Quote
Wish granted. It is the ****** 3rd Generation, which as no Backwards Compatibility and instead has downgraded graphics. And don't say that it has Blu-Ray, because the old one has it too.
I wish for at least one day where everyone on the Internet could get along. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Dark Assassin15
Failed Diplomacy
0
|
Posted - 2012.02.06 19:46:00 -
[97] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. It is the ****** 3rd Generation, which as no Backwards Compatibility and instead has downgraded graphics. And don't say that it has Blu-Ray, because the old one has it too.
I wish for at least one day where everyone on the Internet could get along.
Wish granted! re-routes all of your network traffic to http://www.hellokittyonline.com/
I wish my naughty bits didn't itch. |
Tenobia Aybara
the Organ Grinder and Company Higginbotham and Bailey's Circus
5
|
Posted - 2012.02.06 19:54:00 -
[98] - Quote
EDIT: Guy above beat me to it.
Your naughty bits disappear.
I wish a fully working tank randomly appears above that lake in Antarctica |
Amaroq Dricaldari
67
|
Posted - 2012.02.06 22:34:00 -
[99] - Quote
Wish granted. You are now trapped inside the tank both freezing to death and drowning at the same time.
I wish the Steam client would stop ******* up at random. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Something Random
The Barrow Boys
121
|
Posted - 2012.02.06 22:46:00 -
[100] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. You are now trapped inside the tank both freezing to death and drowning at the same time.
I wish the Steam client would stop ******* up at random.
Wish granted, your steam client is uninstalled by the next update you received.
I wish i could PVP without making dumb nub mistakes all the time *mutters something about sentries*. "caught on fire a little bit, just a little." "Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangsn++ all here!" |
|
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Total Annihilation. Pandorum Invictus
3
|
Posted - 2012.02.07 05:02:00 -
[101] - Quote
Wish granted. A member of CCP starts fitting your ships and training your PvP skills for you, but then someone else at CCP catches them. He gets fired and you get banned.
I wish I got kicked by my corporation. A friend of mine shares this account, and they were about to get their character enlisted in a corporation but their application got rejected because my alliance is at war with theirs. And my alliance isn't taking new recruits, by the way. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
Amaroq Dricaldari
67
|
Posted - 2012.02.07 05:58:00 -
[102] - Quote
Wish potentially granted. But now nobody is going to recruit you because they see that you have no potential.
I wish I had a real Social Adaptation Chip and Cybernetic Subprocessor, that I had the money to get them in the first place, that they actually worked, and that my brain could actually handle the information. And I still want money left over. And I want them in real-life, not in EVE. A memory augmentation would also be nice.
I also wish that I got them a long time ago. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Hya Bam
It's Hammer Time
5
|
Posted - 2012.02.07 09:41:00 -
[103] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish potentially granted. But now nobody is going to recruit you because they see that you have no potential.
I wish I had a real Social Adaptation Chip and Cybernetic Subprocessor, that I had the money to get them in the first place, that they actually worked, and that my brain could actually handle the information. And I still want money left over. And I want them in real-life, not in EVE. A memory augmentation would also be nice.
I also wish that I got them a long time ago.
Wish granted. You were able to take part in the initial product trials and human testing. However, because of certain limitations on our 21st century technology, they have to plug into a wall outlet to work, and since they are hard wired into your brain, your whole brain shuts of when you pull the plug.
Also, having gotten them a long time ago, they only take floppy disks, and have 16MB memory.
I wish that I hadn't dropped out of college, and instead stuck with it and graduated. I might still be washing dishes, but at least I would have that little piece of paper to prove I actually got what I paid for. Is this sig EVE related? |
Amaroq Dricaldari
67
|
Posted - 2012.02.07 09:55:00 -
[104] - Quote
Hya Bam wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish potentially granted. But now nobody is going to recruit you because they see that you have no potential.
I wish I had a real Social Adaptation Chip and Cybernetic Subprocessor, that I had the money to get them in the first place, that they actually worked, and that my brain could actually handle the information. And I still want money left over. And I want them in real-life, not in EVE. A memory augmentation would also be nice.
I also wish that I got them a long time ago. Wish granted. You were able to take part in the initial product trials and human testing. However, because of certain limitations on our 21st century technology, they have to plug into a wall outlet to work, and since they are hard wired into your brain, your whole brain shuts of when you pull the plug. Also, having gotten them a long time ago, they only take floppy disks, and have 16MB memory. I wish that I hadn't dropped out of college, and instead stuck with it and graduated. I might still be washing dishes, but at least I would have that little piece of paper to prove I actually got what I paid for. Wish granted. You go back to college to get a second chance, but you decide to enlist in the Marine Core first to pay for your college tuition. Thus, you have to go through very stressful and dangerous training, and then you have to go overseas for war. But at least they will pay for your college education.
I wish... I wish...
Ha! You'll have to guess what I wished for this time! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
W1rlW1nd
The Scope Gallente Federation
35
|
Posted - 2012.02.07 10:51:00 -
[105] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote: I wish... I wish...
Ha! You'll have to guess what I wished for this time!
Wish granted. You have wished for someone to guess what your wish is, . . . and somebody does. The guess wish is for you to receive a pretty pony. Even though the person may have guessed wrong, you get that wish anyway, so now you are followed around by a lifesize cartoon pink pony wherever you go. Respectable people are afraid to go near you in public now. But at least you have gained a new following of devoted adult friends, even though they may seem very odd, be high half the time and call you "brohoof" for some reason.
I wish I didn't have to sleep, so I could get more work done.
|
Crom Mitra
University of Caille Gallente Federation
1
|
Posted - 2012.02.07 18:02:00 -
[106] - Quote
W1rlW1nd wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote: I wish... I wish...
Ha! You'll have to guess what I wished for this time!
Wish granted. You have wished for someone to guess what your wish is, . . . and somebody does. The guess wish is for you to receive a pretty pony. Even though the person may have guessed wrong, you get that wish anyway, so now you are followed around by a lifesize cartoon pink pony wherever you go. Respectable people are afraid to go near you in public now. But at least you have gained a new following of devoted adult friends, even though they may seem very odd, be high half the time and call you "brohoof" for some reason. I wish I didn't have to sleep, so I could get more work done. You discover a certain type of homemade amphetamine. You no longer ever feel like sleeping-- pr eating. You have huge dilated pupils and you're up all night fidgeting and nervously grinding your teeth. After a couple of days of no sleep or food, you start to hallucinate. You get a lot of work done, but nobody can decipher what it is you were trying to do. Including you-- you can't figure it out either.
I wish for a Marshall MG 100 guitar amp. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
68
|
Posted - 2012.02.08 00:50:00 -
[107] - Quote
Wish granted. It is the distant future year 99999, and your guitar amp came is broken, and since it is an ancient antique nobody is able to repair it. In addition, it cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I wish I wasn't so sick all of the time. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Hans Zwaardhandler
Borealis Mining Concern IMPERIAL LEGI0N
6
|
Posted - 2012.02.08 02:26:00 -
[108] - Quote
Wish granted. You are no longer sick all of the time. Instead, you have developed curious things inside of your blood that repel disease. Science and the government catches wind of this, as well as old rich people with hopelessly incurable diseases unless they have your blood. You are forced to go on the run to avoid capture, and can not stop in one place for more than five minutes or They will catch you.
I wish for a computer that could run EVE at the best graphical power without a jitter. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
69
|
Posted - 2012.02.08 02:44:00 -
[109] - Quote
Hans Zwaardhandler wrote:Wish granted. You are no longer sick all of the time. Instead, you have developed curious things inside of your blood that repel disease. Science and the government catches wind of this, as well as old rich people with hopelessly incurable diseases unless they have your blood. You are forced to go on the run to avoid capture, and can not stop in one place for more than five minutes or They will catch you.
I wish for a computer that could run EVE at the best graphical power without a jitter. Wish granted. It will cost you 999,999,999,999,999 ISK (Interstellar Kredits). That is because the year is now 99999, and EVE Online has evolved to the point of being so Graphically intensive it won't run on even the most powerful Super Computers of that day and age, so you have to buy God's computer (the universe itself).
I wish a Dev would finally reply to this thread. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Imri Okaski
Science and Trade Institute Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.02.08 15:31:00 -
[110] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Hans Zwaardhandler wrote:Wish granted. You are no longer sick all of the time. Instead, you have developed curious things inside of your blood that repel disease. Science and the government catches wind of this, as well as old rich people with hopelessly incurable diseases unless they have your blood. You are forced to go on the run to avoid capture, and can not stop in one place for more than five minutes or They will catch you.
I wish for a computer that could run EVE at the best graphical power without a jitter. Wish granted. It will cost you 999,999,999,999,999 ISK (Interstellar Kredits). That is because the year is now 99999, and EVE Online has evolved to the point of being so Graphically intensive it won't run on even the most powerful Super Computers of that day and age, so you have to buy God's computer (the universe itself). I wish a Dev would finally reply to this thread. A Dev eventually responds but by then you've quit playing Eve and never see the post.
I wish were the immortal omnipotent God Empress of the Universe. |
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
70
|
Posted - 2012.02.09 02:54:00 -
[111] - Quote
Wish granted. You are the ruler of a parrallel universe which is 100% uninhabited (don't ask me how you got there) and then someone in another universe tries bridging the two universes on the subspace level to generate Zero Point Energy, but it creates Entropy Particles on your side which are highly dangerous and disobey all of the known laws of physics. They also create a tear in the fabric of time and space, and then it breaches the subspace uniserse and destroys your universe in a plank second. Also note that there are more plank seconds in a second than there are seconds since the beginning of the universe.
I wish I was in the universe that wasn't being bombarded with entropy particles. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
70
|
Posted - 2012.02.09 21:50:00 -
[112] - Quote
I assume that my wish is mysteriously un-corruptable. What a shame. You can do anything to me if you feel like it. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Alara IonStorm
1547
|
Posted - 2012.02.09 22:14:00 -
[113] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:You can do anything to me if you feel like it. I had the same idea in your substitute reality thread.
I even made a checklist.
Scalpel *Check, Power Drill *Check, Saw *Check, Screw Driver *Check, Hammer and Nails* Check, Chloroform *Check, Rope *Check, Eye Drops/Tape/8 Foot Poster of Blane Xero *Check
I will do this stuff
I wish for a 10000 Forum Likes. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
70
|
Posted - 2012.02.09 22:22:00 -
[114] - Quote
Wish granted. You and your boyfriend recieve 99999 likes on the 4chan forums, and then you both end up trapped in the universe being bombarded with entropy particles, somehow.
I wish that one guy would get the message that I just don't care about him anymore. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Hans Zwaardhandler
Borealis Mining Concern IMPERIAL LEGI0N
9
|
Posted - 2012.02.10 23:52:00 -
[115] - Quote
He gets the message. Unfortunately, more people come to annoy you, and this involves finding out your phone number, your email address, and you mailing address, no matter how many times you change it. To make matters worse, they are thirteen year old kids with some interesting takes on slurs who have a tendency to have bumper stickers attached to your car with said slurs all over them. You got rid of the annoying guy though.
I wish that I was able to farm PLEX through in game methods. |
mining f0rmoney
Ministry of War Amarr Empire
0
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 02:04:00 -
[116] - Quote
Wish granted. You farm your first plex, but then you get a virus that causes you to become blind. So now you can never play eve again.
i wish i had a mining ship |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
73
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 02:45:00 -
[117] - Quote
Wish granted. You have a titan with Civilian Mining Lasers.
I shall copy the wish of the next poster. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
mining f0rmoney
Ministry of War Amarr Empire
0
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 03:04:00 -
[118] - Quote
Wish granted.
i wish i could login to the forums |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
73
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 03:08:00 -
[119] - Quote
Wish granted. You just did.
I wish we could get some good ones again. You know, some good ones? This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
darkdooku
Malicious Mission Murderers
5
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 04:08:00 -
[120] - Quote
Wish granted. Tthis thread becomes so popular and so many people are trying to post/reply on it that it crashes the hosting servers and CCP deems this thread too dangerous and shuts it down.
I wish my corpmates would log on EVE so I could fleet up with them. |
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
74
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 20:34:00 -
[121] - Quote
Bump This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Jayem See
Drama Llamas
32
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 20:43:00 -
[122] - Quote
You receive your bump but your signature is taken away and declared invalid.
I wish for a chance to undo a wine related incident that cost me a girlfriend. Aaaaaaand relax. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
77
|
Posted - 2012.02.12 04:58:00 -
[123] - Quote
Wish granted. In order to prevent a Universe-Ending paradox, a new incident occurs that causes you to lose a limb.
I wish for a turkey sandwich. And I don't want there to be any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any of your other surprises, you got that?! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Outliving Stars
7
|
Posted - 2012.02.12 19:47:00 -
[124] - Quote
Wish granted. The turkey is a little dry.
I wish I could do this. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
Sasha Khaine
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
35
|
Posted - 2012.02.12 20:43:00 -
[125] - Quote
Granted, though the link sent me to a video of a man eating his own head.
I wish I had the ability to teleport wherever and whenever I wanted without any chance of failure or risk of getting hurt or hurting someone else in the universe. The effect would also make me invincible and impervious to all forms of damage, even death itself couldn't kill me.
Welcome to EVE"The entire British empire was founded on cups of tea... and if you think I'm going to war without one, mate. You're sadly mistaken" |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
79
|
Posted - 2012.02.12 21:24:00 -
[126] - Quote
Sasha Khaine wrote:Granted, though the link sent me to a video of a man eating his own head.
I wish I had the ability to teleport wherever and whenever I wanted without any chance of failure or risk of getting hurt or hurting someone else in the universe. The effect would also make me invincible and impervious to all forms of damage, even death itself couldn't kill me. Critical Exstence Failure. Death is a He, not an It. And everytime you teleport, it requires Zero Point Energy (that is ALOT of power), and the only way to generate that energy is by bridging your universe with another one, thus creating Entopy Particles which tear a hole in the fabric of that universe, eventually destroying it. You didn't hurt anyone in your own universe, but you just destroyed another one. And then some jackass in another alternate universe tries the same thing you did, and it destroys your universe.
I wish I had the powers of the Hypnotic Southern General. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
346
|
Posted - 2012.02.13 00:01:00 -
[127] - Quote
Granted, but you are surrounded by black people
I wish George Lucas made better Star Wars movies. Signature removed, CCP Phantom |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
81
|
Posted - 2012.02.17 05:29:00 -
[128] - Quote
Wish granted. They all come in the form of 3D Re-Releases of the originals.
I wish I could sleep comfortably on this couch for once. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
81
|
Posted - 2012.02.19 07:51:00 -
[129] - Quote
Repeating Wish This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Cierejai
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
3
|
Posted - 2012.02.19 09:32:00 -
[130] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. They all come in the form of 3D Re-Releases of the originals.
I wish I could sleep comfortably on this couch for once.
Granted, however you roll over and sleep on your arm and it has to be amputated from the circulation loss.
I wish I had better luck. |
|
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
426
|
Posted - 2012.02.19 20:03:00 -
[131] - Quote
You recieve R2-D2
(I know that isnt corrupt but R2 is too precious to corrupt)
To the post two up, You end having to sleep in the bed I have to sleep in.
Wish: Kevin Smith wasn't fat, so he could freely ride on airplanes, anywhere he wanted to go. disorientating |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
83
|
Posted - 2012.02.20 03:45:00 -
[132] - Quote
rodyas wrote:I wish Kevin Smiith wasn't fat.
Cierejai wrote:I wish I had better luck. Wishes granted. All of that fat-matter had to be transported somewhere, and now both of you are fat. However, all of that fat just happens to be the very thing that saves your lives, because you both happen to be on a ship that crashes near Antarctica, and you need your fat to keep yourselves afloat as you swim to the continent, not to mention that you need it to keep yourselves warm. When you get on the continent, you are rescued by a team of pengiuns and then they take you to their underground lab to get the fat of your bodies (and use it to fuel the lamps of some nearby explorers).
I wish I didn't get sick again. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
7
|
Posted - 2012.02.20 03:48:00 -
[133] - Quote
Wish granted, but you have to sell your soul to the devil, also known as Bill Gates.
I wish I owned a field of Casap (that addictive corn from Stargate) and payed hundreds of addicted servants to farm it. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
Willard Mitt Romney
Science and Trade Institute Caldari State
3
|
Posted - 2012.02.20 21:37:00 -
[134] - Quote
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:Wish granted, but you have to sell your soul to the devil, also known as Bill Gates.
I wish I owned a field of Casap (that addictive corn from Stargate) and payed hundreds of addicted servants to farm it. Oh, you do own a farm of Casap sir. You would be wealthy due to your initiative and your enterprising use of addicted labor. But, you are under the Obama administration which taxes away all of your profits. And then big government comes in and regulates you out of business. And government entitlement programs take your hard-earned money and squander it all away on entitlement programs. Give-away programs, such as rehabilitating Casap addicts. Or supporting suspect charities such as the Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation.
Now, if I Mitt Romney were President, it would be different. You and all other enterprising Americans of the right type would have your wishes granted. You could thrive and prosper without the influence of big government. That would in turn keep your addicts in jobs. And Mitt Romney is about keeping people in jobs.
I'm Mitt Romney, and I wish to be President of these United States of America. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
83
|
Posted - 2012.02.20 23:26:00 -
[135] - Quote
Willard Mitt Romney wrote:Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:Wish granted, but you have to sell your soul to the devil, also known as Bill Gates.
I wish I owned a field of Casap (that addictive corn from Stargate) and payed hundreds of addicted servants to farm it. Oh, you do own a farm of Casap sir. You would be wealthy due to your initiative and your enterprising use of addicted labor. But, you are under the Obama administration which taxes away all of your profits. And then big government comes in and regulates you out of business. And government entitlement programs take your hard-earned money and squander it all away on entitlement programs. Give-away programs, such as rehabilitating Casap addicts. Or supporting suspect charities such as the Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation. Now, if I Mitt Romney were President, it would be different. You and all other enterprising Americans of the right type would have your wishes granted. You could thrive and prosper without the influence of big government. That would in turn keep your addicts in jobs. And Mitt Romney is about keeping people in jobs. I'm Mitt Romney, and I wish to be President of these United States of America. Wish granted. Obama goes on a socialist ragequit and assinates you with the help of the zombified Kim Jung Il and a band of terrorists.
I wish that my laptop didn't suck so badly. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Kiroma Halandri
Republic Military School Minmatar Republic
13
|
Posted - 2012.02.26 07:24:00 -
[136] - Quote
Which granted. You now have a new vacuum cleaner.
I wish Gallente ships were symmetrical
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
91
|
Posted - 2012.03.01 07:08:00 -
[137] - Quote
Wish granted. Didn't your Velator used to have a bathroom? Wait, I forgot you were Minmatar.
I wish I was no longer having computer trouble. I want to get back in action. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
94
|
Posted - 2012.03.05 07:58:00 -
[138] - Quote
My old wish has expired. Time for a new one.
I wish, For a Shrubberry! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
473
|
Posted - 2012.03.05 09:26:00 -
[139] - Quote
You get a new computer, but it runs on Aurum not electricity. Also the hard drive was from a pedophile, and filled with pics of underage kids, and you get busted for them. Also filled with 60 copies of Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL.
Wish I could eat steak and lobster every day. disorientating |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
99
|
Posted - 2012.03.05 19:21:00 -
[140] - Quote
I said a Shrubbery! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
101
|
Posted - 2012.03.07 07:47:00 -
[141] - Quote
I still want a shrubbery. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
483
|
Posted - 2012.03.08 13:44:00 -
[142] - Quote
Granted, but you are english and part of an unfunny english humor group, that continually bomb. Until the Queen asks for you to be beheaded, to help calm down the peasants and restore order to english society.
I wish I could expect the spanish inquisition. disorientating |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Malicious Mission Murderers
10
|
Posted - 2012.03.09 03:57:00 -
[143] - Quote
NO ONE EXPECTS THE MINMATAR INQUISITION!
I want to see someone who can recognize a larch tree from far away. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
496
|
Posted - 2012.03.09 10:37:00 -
[144] - Quote
Granted, but all the larch trees are always close, so he can never see them.
I wish to stay on unemployment all my life. hurray I will not be voting in the CSM election, so you need to go vote to make up for me. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
103
|
Posted - 2012.03.10 05:53:00 -
[145] - Quote
rodyas wrote:Granted, but all the larch trees are always close, so he can never see them.
I wish to stay on unemployment all my life. hurray Wish granted. You are now a hobo. Here is your diesel-powered dustbin that serves as both your method of transportation and your home.
Ow. Something keeps biting me in the ass, and I want whatever it is to stop. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
104
|
Posted - 2012.03.10 23:08:00 -
[146] - Quote
I wish for one of the items on that wishlist mentioned above. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Khellendrose
Eastmarch Enterprise's
0
|
Posted - 2012.03.14 11:40:00 -
[147] - Quote
Granted but its the one you want least, prompting you to get upset, your girlfriend/wife leaves you for a somolian pirate, all of your pets die of bacterial infection and you spend the rest of your days wishing you had wished for something more tangible.
I wish I lived in Equestria |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
105
|
Posted - 2012.03.18 11:12:00 -
[148] - Quote
What the hell is Equestria?
I wish I knew what Equestria was. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
106
|
Posted - 2012.03.20 10:11:00 -
[149] - Quote
*sigh*
Bump This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Utemetsu
30
|
Posted - 2012.03.20 13:22:00 -
[150] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:What the hell is Equestria?
I wish I knew what Equestria was. You discover what Equestria Is, however, you're turned into a flash-animated pony and can't run on future portable apple devices.
I wish for nothing. Eve Morning Report - Daily Economic News of New Eden www.evemorningreport.themumm.com "I almost pooped my pants." ~ Lord Jita
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Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Malicious Mission Murderers
11
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 07:29:00 -
[151] - Quote
Wish granted. Since you wished for nothing, to nothingness you return. In an attempt to generate zero point energy, someone on the other side opens a bridge to your universe, thus bombarding it with entropy particles. To get them to stop, you teleport yourself through, only to discover the person on the other side is you, so you are sent back, but halfway through the journey that bridge colllapses, and thus you cease to exist.
I wish I was a member of CONCORD. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
Kiroma Halandri
Malicious Mission Murderers
14
|
Posted - 2012.03.23 17:40:00 -
[152] - Quote
Wish granted. You have to do 100 Body Cavity searches a day, and you get one of the ****** frigates.
I wish for a dog that wasn't stupid.
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
God's Apples
Space Boats 'N Hoes
3
|
Posted - 2012.03.24 00:34:00 -
[153] - Quote
Kiroma Halandri wrote:Wish granted. You have to do 100 Body Cavity searches a day, and you get one of the ****** frigates.
I wish for a dog that wasn't stupid.
You get a cat.
I wish to catch them all. |
Zaenis Desef
Crimson Nation En Garde
0
|
Posted - 2012.03.25 05:32:00 -
[154] - Quote
God's Apples wrote:Kiroma Halandri wrote:Wish granted. You have to do 100 Body Cavity searches a day, and you get one of the ****** frigates.
I wish for a dog that wasn't stupid. You get a cat. I wish to catch them all.
Granted, you now have every STD known to man...
I wish Masters of the Universe wasn't such a terrible movie |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
116
|
Posted - 2012.04.02 00:21:00 -
[155] - Quote
Wish granted. The movie will get remade in 50 years, but it is 4 hours long it it will cost $500 per ticket. It will be worth it, however because it will be the best movie in existence, with ultra-photo-realistic special effects and it will play at 4k resolutions with 8.8 surround sound. In addition, you get a free copy of the movie on a Holigraphic Versatile Disc upon watching it from beginning to end on the big screen.
To reiterate on my corruption, it costs $500 per ticket, it will take 50 years, and a HVD player costs $15,000 This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Malicious Mission Murderers
14
|
Posted - 2012.04.03 04:11:00 -
[156] - Quote
Wish granted. Since you forgot to make a wish, I shall wish for you.
I wish for Hybrid Weapons to not suck. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
Kiroma Halandri
Malicious Mission Murderers
15
|
Posted - 2012.04.03 22:33:00 -
[157] - Quote
Wish granted. Too bad you were training for missiles instead.
I wish for a beer-powered robot.
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
killroy v2
Mission Creep
2
|
Posted - 2012.04.04 00:02:00 -
[158] - Quote
wish granted,, but it drinks all of the beer in the world I...can't think of anything 2 wish for :( |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
253
|
Posted - 2012.04.09 19:53:00 -
[159] - Quote
Through your lack of wishes, you have conquered Desire, one of the primary sources of Earthly suffering. You must now conquer Ignorance, or you will remain forever in an odd state of semi-Enlightenment.
I wish I had a case of Bass Ale. |
Culmen
Culmenation
5
|
Posted - 2012.04.10 06:18:00 -
[160] - Quote
Granted, It's a grizzly bear high on meth. What little remains after you are crushed by the hug gets mauled, then eaten.
I wish for a pony! |
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Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
253
|
Posted - 2012.04.10 18:12:00 -
[161] - Quote
It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story. |
Mister LEM0NS
SWARTA Mostly Clueless
1
|
Posted - 2012.04.10 23:25:00 -
[162] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story.
The pony is now dead, wish granted.
Though I do wish wargaming would stop porgressing the world of tanks backwards. |
Culmen
Culmenation
7
|
Posted - 2012.04.12 15:24:00 -
[163] - Quote
Mister LEM0NS wrote:Telegram Sam wrote:It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story. The pony is now dead, wish granted. Though I do wish wargaming would stop porgressing the world of tanks backwards.
Granted, wargaming moves World of Tanks forward by adding in a new races the Orks and the Gnomes, also magic and infantry combat. Then they announce they got bought out by blizzard.
I wish you would not grant me this wish. There is a fine line between a post and a signature. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
116
|
Posted - 2012.04.17 04:40:00 -
[164] - Quote
Wish grant cancellation successful. You killed my thread.
Beginning Round 3 now.
I wish everything was better (try to corrupt that one) This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Hya Bam
It's Hammer Time
5
|
Posted - 2012.04.30 23:35:00 -
[165] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish grant cancellation successful. You killed my thread.
Beginning Round 3 now.
I wish everything was better (try to corrupt that one) Your wish is granted; everything gets a little bit better. However, since better and worse are comparative adjectives, if everything gets better, then no one will notice that anything has gotten better. In fact, everything getting better has the same net effect as everything getting worse. Everyone goes about their lives like usual. Except you; since you have the knowledge that your wish was granted, but you observe no relative change in your surroundings, you are overcome by a feeling that while everyone else's life may have gotten better, your life hasn't, resulting in a spiraling depression culminating in your publicly broadcast suicide out front of the local grocery.
I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back. Is this sig EVE related? |
Luis Graca
5
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 08:42:00 -
[166] - Quote
Your wish is granted; everything gets a little bit better. However, since better and worse are comparative adjectives, if everything gets better, then no one will notice that anything has gotten better. In fact, everything getting better has the same net effect as everything getting worse. Everyone goes about their lives like usual. Except you; since you have the knowledge that your wish was granted, but you observe no relative change in your surroundings, you are overcome by a feeling that while everyone else's life may have gotten better, your life hasn't, resulting in a spiraling depression culminating in your publicly broadcast suicide out front of the local grocery.
I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back.[/quote]
Wish granted, you are now going to be a ***** and you're dog he going not only to talk but also to show you some love
I wish beer would taste good when the bottle is hot |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
280
|
Posted - 2012.05.04 13:50:00 -
[167] - Quote
Hya Bam wrote:[quote=Amaroq Dricaldari] I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back. Wish granted: dog language translater. (Sorry, rule violation here, double-granted Hya's wish. Couldn't resist....) |
Dalin Auscent
Shadow Star Syndicate Shattered Empire
0
|
Posted - 2012.05.14 20:43:00 -
[168] - Quote
Hya Bam wrote: I wish beer would taste good when the bottle is hot
Granted. Beer now ONLY tastes good when the bottle is heated to above the boiling point of water. The beer now causes severe burns and the alcohol has evaporated, making the point of drinking it non-existant. The beer companies all go out of businesss, and thousands of people lose their jobs, triggering a global depression. Alcoholics either turn to harder liquor or start trying to drink the heated beer, causing overflow in emergency rooms from people with third degree burns on their heads. Burn units fill up, and many people now die in the aftermath of fires due to the inability for hospital burn units to adequately care for the quantity of people with burns, and the inability for them to pay for the expansion of these units because insurance companies have started dropping people who go to the doctor with beer-induced burns, and the hospitals lose billions of dollars on uninsured patients who are unable to pay for their treatments, causing more shutdowns, more unemployment, and the healthcare system to go into a death spiral. The overpopulation of the world is solved in a few short years after several preventable pandemics wipe out massive amounts of the world's population.
I wish to be a World of Darkness-style vampire of the Gangrel clan. Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, When a good man goes to war. |
Unimaginative Guy
Dutch Squad Chained Reactions
10
|
Posted - 2012.05.14 23:59:00 -
[169] - Quote
SpaceSquirrels wrote:You get immortality, but you continue to age...even stay alive in a age induced feeble coma.
I wish for ponies!!
This reminds me of the Face of Bo (Jack Sparrow) from Doctor Who and Torchwood
You become the vampire, but you are never granted the satisfaction of finding any victems.
I wish I could be a capsuleer. |
Zanza Mechonis
Vulkan Innovations
0
|
Posted - 2012.05.16 23:13:00 -
[170] - Quote
Unimaginative Guy wrote:SpaceSquirrels wrote:You get immortality, but you continue to age...even stay alive in a age induced feeble coma.
I wish for ponies!! This reminds me of the Face of Bo (Jack Sparrow) from Doctor Who and Torchwood You become the vampire, but you are never granted the satisfaction of finding any victems. I wish I could be a capsuleer.
Granted, however you will NOT have clones, so if you're podded once, you're dead. (On top of that rats and concord will now target your pod too)
I wish there were space colonies and space travel for public use. "On the internet you can be anything you want... It's strange that many people choose to be stupid." |
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killroy v2
Thorn Project Candy Bears
4
|
Posted - 2012.05.26 23:34:00 -
[171] - Quote
wish granted too bad you are enslaved.
now that i have conquered desire i wish to conquer ignorance. |
John Caligan
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
13
|
Posted - 2012.05.27 16:40:00 -
[172] - Quote
You have conquered Ignorance! Congradulations, people are now more intelligent! However, when the Utopia is created, you are left out.
I wish I had some Orange Juice right now.. |
LadyMiLch
Killer Koalas Inc. Ethereal Dawn
0
|
Posted - 2012.06.01 07:22:00 -
[173] - Quote
John Caligan wrote:You have conquered Ignorance! Congradulations, people are now more intelligent! However, when the Utopia is created, you are left out.
I wish I had some Orange Juice right now.. An impossibly huge glass of orange juice descends from the heavens and forcibly quenches your thirst til your innards rupture and you die a horrible, orangy death!
I wish I knew what happened to that meth bear with the hugs: I wanna be friends! |
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
126
|
Posted - 2012.06.07 17:35:00 -
[174] - Quote
The Meth bear with the hugs's life ended in a slow and painful manner. You have now become so acutely aware of the precise method by which he perished, you cannot help but personally relive the agony that the bear experienced every time your mind casually dwells on the subject.
I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad.... In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1689
|
Posted - 2012.06.07 17:49:00 -
[175] - Quote
Pinstar Colton wrote:I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad.... Because changing all the food in the world is hard, your sense of taste and smell is changed instead. This results in your favorite smell being that of poop on a hot, humid day. While your diet is progressing nicely, no one wants to be around you because of the stench that follows you around...which you think smells wonderful.
I wish I could get motivated to work out. It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Sebastian N Cain
Aliastra Gallente Federation
143
|
Posted - 2012.06.07 18:01:00 -
[176] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:Pinstar Colton wrote:I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad.... Because changing all the food in the world is hard, your sense of taste and smell is changed instead. This results in your favorite smell being that of poop on a hot, humid day. While your diet is progressing nicely, no one wants to be around you because of the stench that follows you around...which you think smells wonderful. I wish I could get motivated to work out. Wish granted, you are now fully motivated. However, as a workout you have chosen to twiddle your thumps which won-¦t help you becoming more athletic.
I wish for 10 billion dollar. "You either need less science fiction or more medication."
"Or less medication and more ammo!" |
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
126
|
Posted - 2012.06.07 18:17:00 -
[177] - Quote
You receive a 10 billion dollar bill... which is worthless as it is not recognized as legal currency by anyone.
I wish I didn't need to sleep...ever and not suffer the negative effects that most sleep-deprived people suffer. In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1695
|
Posted - 2012.06.07 21:08:00 -
[178] - Quote
Pinstar Colton wrote:I wish I didn't need to sleep...ever and not suffer the negative effects that most sleep-deprived people suffer.
The one side effect you did not anticipate is boredom. Unable to sleep at night, you exhaust your collection of books, magazines, games, and movies in a few short months. As you adapt to your sleeplessness, you alienate your friends when you forget they still sleep and call them at 3 am. You sink into a deep depression where your only outlet is time spent on Eve Online...until CCP bans you when your 23/7 gameplay is identified as bot behavior. Now unable to engage with people socially and lacking in any real entertainment, you finally completely lose it. Months later, you're found on the streets, homeless and mumbling to yourself. The other indigents want nothing to do with you. They find your constant insomnia "creepy as hell".
I wish I had a real working time machine. It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Svarek
38
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 00:51:00 -
[179] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:I wish I had a real working time machine.
Congratulations, it's 12:52 GMT, June 8th, 2012.
I wish people understood irony. =( Please read the above post with facetiousness, sarcasm, and irony detectors activated. |
Culmen
0utLaw. Northern Coalition.
84
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 03:58:00 -
[180] - Quote
Svarek wrote:FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:I wish I had a real working time machine. Congratulations, it's 12:52 GMT, June 8th, 2012. I wish people understood irony. =(
Granted, due to over analysis and familiarity it ceases to be amusing.
I wish I could turn back time. There is a fine line between a post and a signature. |
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Nirnias Stirrum
Tr0pa de elite. Against ALL Authorities
189
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 07:55:00 -
[181] - Quote
Granted, you turn back time to the start of the universe and get obliterated in the big bang!
I wish for loads of ISK! |
Bernie Nator
Talocan Hive Talocan United
297
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 08:40:00 -
[182] - Quote
You get loads of isk. Which are then confiscated for fear you RMT'd it.
I wish for Sleeper battleships to spawn in high sec. |
Sidus Isaacs
Center for Advanced Studies Gallente Federation
122
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 12:01:00 -
[183] - Quote
The do, but they are concord protected, you gotta gank em.
I wish I had more expencive PVP ships. |
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
126
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 13:03:00 -
[184] - Quote
Sidus Isaacs wrote:The do, but they are concord protected, you gotta gank em.
I wish I had more expencive PVP ships.
The new "expencive" line of PVP battleships great for putting out massive dmage and has a great tnak too.
Unfortunately they only exist on the test server where the programmers haven't spell checked their properties yet and the whole thing gets scrapped by the time it goes to Tranquility.
I wish my RL bank account was like my ship's capacitor; constantly refilling and refilling faster once it gets low. In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
Culmen
0utLaw. Northern Coalition.
84
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 16:29:00 -
[185] - Quote
Pinstar Colton wrote:Sidus Isaacs wrote:The do, but they are concord protected, you gotta gank em.
I wish I had more expencive PVP ships. The new "expencive" line of PVP battleships great for putting out massive dmage and has a great tnak too. Unfortunately they only exist on the test server where the programmers haven't spell checked their properties yet and the whole thing gets scrapped by the time it goes to Tranquility. I wish my RL bank account was like my ship's capacitor; constantly refilling and refilling faster once it gets low.
Granted, unfortunately the max is roughly 0.05 Cents. You are unable to purchase anything with it.
I wish for a pony. There is a fine line between a post and a signature. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1713
|
Posted - 2012.06.08 17:26:00 -
[186] - Quote
Culmen wrote:I wish for a pony.
Unfortunately, dead ponies aren't much fun.
I wish the music industry would turn out something really GOOD again. It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Feanos
Sarz'na Khumatari Ushra'Khan
0
|
Posted - 2012.06.11 19:48:00 -
[187] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote: I wish the music industry would turn out something really GOOD again.
Wish granted, the music industry creates a single harmonious song that everyone rushes out and buys. Unfortunately, it contains subversive messages from the MPAA, and we all end up as good little sheep, obeying the orders and never breaking the rules they set forth for us.
I wish eve nullsec politics would stabilize, and blob warfare caused bans. |
Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
366
|
Posted - 2012.06.11 22:04:00 -
[188] - Quote
Feanos wrote:I wish eve nullsec politics would stabilize, and blob warfare caused bans.
Eve nullsec politics stabilize... in the year 2014. Your date of passing: December 21, 2013. Your cause of death: Box jellyfish enema.
I wish for the next poster to cancel writing the post he or she was about to make, and go make themselves a sandwich.
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Opodiphthera Eucalypti Lepdoptera
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
17
|
Posted - 2012.06.21 12:18:00 -
[189] - Quote
Wish granted. My next post was going to make you rethink the way you see the world. You'd be a happier person than you ever was and the joy of your new life would inspire everyone around you. But I was hungry and went out to make a sandwich. I cancelled the post because the sandwich was so good I forgot what I was going to write about. Instead I just posted you your corrupted wish.
I wish I had four arms. |
Kiroma Halandri
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
17
|
Posted - 2012.08.24 19:15:00 -
[190] - Quote
Wish granted. Your legs have mutated into an extra set of arms. Now you can no longer walk.
I wish Studio Liverpool didn't get closed down.
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
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Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
238
|
Posted - 2012.08.24 19:31:00 -
[191] - Quote
Kiroma Halandri wrote:Wish granted. Your legs have mutated into an extra set of arms. Now you can no longer walk.
I wish Studio Liverpool didn't get closed down.
The day after it avoided being closed down, it got blown up. The net effect of it ceasing to exist is still the same, except that some people who worked there are now dead.
I wish that the Bagel ends up as nature's most perfect food and eating them in any form will make you healthier and live longer. In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
121
|
Posted - 2012.08.24 21:27:00 -
[192] - Quote
Wish granted. However, bagels now only come into existence by growing on a certain type of tree, which is extinct, and your last bagel just went bad.
I wish fo-
//out-of-cheese error >> redo from start //brain.exe is not responding >> windows vista has not detected your keyboard, press F1 to retry, F2 to abort //self_destruct porocess initiatied > self_destruct in >> self_destruct.exe aborted
---
Ahem. Sorry 'bout that. I thought this thread was shutdown months ago.
---
I wish for Cake. And Soda. 'CAUSE I'M BACK! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Zenos Ebeth
Universal Might
44
|
Posted - 2012.08.25 14:46:00 -
[193] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
I wish for Cake. And Soda. 'CAUSE I'M BACK!
Wish granted , the cake is absolutely delicious , it is the best thing you have ever eaten , it was so good actually that everything else now feels disgusting in comparison , you now spend the rest of your life in search for another copy of this cake , suffering every day as you are forced to eat disguting food. Additionaly , the cake was so good that you completely forgot about the soda can.
I wish i had a calculator that could divide by 0.
|
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
0
|
Posted - 2012.08.25 15:23:00 -
[194] - Quote
Zenos Ebeth wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
I wish for Cake. And Soda. 'CAUSE I'M BACK!
Wish granted , the cake is absolutely delicious , it is the best thing you have ever eaten , it was so good actually that everything else now feels disgusting in comparison , you now spend the rest of your life in search for another copy of this cake , suffering every day as you are forced to eat disguting food. Additionaly , the cake was so good that you completely forgot about the soda can. I wish i had a calculator that could divide by 0.
Granted, but the universe collapses.
I wish I had an Avatar. Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
121
|
Posted - 2012.08.25 16:52:00 -
[195] - Quote
.//out-of-cheese error >> redo from start
You forgot to specify which type. Thta means we have to improvise. Wish granted. You now have a young, bald bodygaurd with a glowing blue arrow on their head who had too many drinks and accidentally sucked all of the air out of your lungs. Tough luck, rookie.
I wish I knew what was making that damn noise... This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
0
|
Posted - 2012.08.25 21:18:00 -
[196] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:.//out-of-cheese error >> redo from start
You forgot to specify which type. Thta means we have to improvise. Wish granted. You now have a young, bald bodygaurd with a glowing blue arrow on their head who had too many drinks and accidentally sucked all of the air out of your lungs. Tough luck, rookie.
I wish I knew what was making that damn noise...
Granted, but it turned out to be a vampire colony, and they're NOT the sparkly kind.
I wish i was a Rifter. Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Pasta OfDoom
SrsBsnsIndeed
13
|
Posted - 2012.08.25 22:38:00 -
[197] - Quote
Bendonni Narri wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:.//out-of-cheese error >> redo from start
You forgot to specify which type. Thta means we have to improvise. Wish granted. You now have a young, bald bodygaurd with a glowing blue arrow on their head who had too many drinks and accidentally sucked all of the air out of your lungs. Tough luck, rookie.
I wish I knew what was making that damn noise... Granted, but it turned out to be a vampire colony, and they're NOT the sparkly kind. I wish i was a Rifter.
Granted, but the person flying you mixes shield and hull tank and goes into a wormhole where he creates a safe spot 12 au from the sun after flying for years and years. He then ejects from you and pods himself, and you are stuck in a wormhole for the rest of eternity. |
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
0
|
Posted - 2012.08.26 00:31:00 -
[198] - Quote
Pasta OfDoom wrote:Bendonni Narri wrote:Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:.//out-of-cheese error >> redo from start
You forgot to specify which type. Thta means we have to improvise. Wish granted. You now have a young, bald bodygaurd with a glowing blue arrow on their head who had too many drinks and accidentally sucked all of the air out of your lungs. Tough luck, rookie.
I wish I knew what was making that damn noise... Granted, but it turned out to be a vampire colony, and they're NOT the sparkly kind. I wish i was a Rifter. Granted, but the person flying you mixes shield and hull tank and goes into a wormhole where he creates a safe spot 12 au from the sun after flying for years and years. He then ejects from you and pods himself, and you are stuck in a wormhole for the rest of eternity.
(I'm going to pretend you wished for higher intelligence)
Granted, but your head explodes.
I wish Westwood was never bought out by EA. Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Mumtaz Khan
Sabotage Incorporated Executive Outcomes
54
|
Posted - 2012.08.26 08:51:00 -
[199] - Quote
Bendonni Narri wrote: I wish Westwood was never bought out by EA.
Granted:
Westwood is now producing Twilight: The Vampir-ing, where you get to re-imagine yourself as your favorite sparkly vampire/manly werewolf. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
121
|
Posted - 2012.08.26 10:22:00 -
[200] - Quote
Wish granted. Your computer vanishes mysterisouly one morning and returns a month later with a mysterious gold medal. However, it will never run anything ever again. EVER.
I wish Brass Tags weren't so damn expensive. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
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rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
682
|
Posted - 2012.08.26 11:03:00 -
[201] - Quote
Granted, but now human teeth are the best badges to collect, and you grandma ran out 3 months ago, and your own pearly whites just might help buy that jump freighter you wanted.
I wish a jar jar binks solo prequel movie would be made (try corrupting the already corrupted) I will not be voting in the CSM election, so you need to go vote to make up for me. |
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
0
|
Posted - 2012.08.26 16:11:00 -
[202] - Quote
rodyas wrote:Granted, but now human teeth are the best badges to collect, and you grandma ran out 3 months ago, and your own pearly whites just might help buy that jump freighter you wanted.
I wish a jar jar binks solo prequel movie would be made (try corrupting the already corrupted)
Granted, It's a smash hit, and the entire star wars fandom is now about Jar-Jar.
I wish One direction never existed. Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
121
|
Posted - 2012.08.26 23:38:00 -
[203] - Quote
Wish granted. Right no longer exists, and you somehow ended up in Zoolander's body. Remember, he can't turn left.
I wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi
//with_corrupter.exe is not respondind >> aborting_process This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
0
|
Posted - 2012.08.26 23:50:00 -
[204] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted. Right no longer exists, and you somehow ended up in Zoolander's body. Remember, he can't turn left.
I wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi
//with_corrupter.exe is not respondind >> aborting_process
Wish corrupter is a deadly virus, you are now a mindless slave.
I wish all of Goonswarm's assets were frozen. Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
124
|
Posted - 2012.08.27 00:41:00 -
[205] - Quote
Wish granted, but they had somehow acquired 90% of yuor assets beforehand. Both in real-life and in-game.
I wish I could use my brain to implode the internet. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
243
|
Posted - 2012.08.27 17:05:00 -
[206] - Quote
To do so, you must upload your brain onto the internet first and get imploded with it.... Also Google has the entire internet backed up about 17 times and simply rolls out a restore, bringing the net back online in its entirety before anyone noticed...minus you or your brain.
Since we're on the subject of plugging our brains into things:
I wish there was a program with the same power as Photoshop that you could plug your brain into... allowing you to 'draw' whatever images come into your mind...without needing to actually know how to draw... In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
0
|
Posted - 2012.08.27 19:35:00 -
[207] - Quote
Pinstar Colton wrote:To do so, you must upload your brain onto the internet first and get imploded with it.... Also Google has the entire internet backed up about 17 times and simply rolls out a restore, bringing the net back online in its entirety before anyone noticed...minus you or your brain.
Since we're on the subject of plugging our brains into things:
I wish there was a program with the same power as Photoshop that you could plug your brain into... allowing you to 'draw' whatever images come into your mind...without needing to actually know how to draw...
Granted, as it later turns out, your brain has the artistic style of a Socialist, none of the drawings you make are very good.
I wish Westwood and Bioware had controlling stakes in EA. Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
125
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 11:41:00 -
[208] - Quote
//divide_by_zero error >> ert //out_of_cheese error >> redo_from_start
./reboot_complete ./restarting_process ./attempting to give_a_damn
//unable to give_a_damn >> stopping //attempt_failed >> damn_not_given
./constructing appropriate_response ./initiating_response
---
WHAT?! This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Kiroma Halandri
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
17
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 11:47:00 -
[209] - Quote
[INSERT SNAPPY RESPONSE]
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
16
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 12:00:00 -
[210] - Quote
Kiroma Halandri wrote:I wish I didn't have a wish. So you wish you didn't have a wish, but I have to grant the wish, so you had no wish, but that means you couldn't wish for no wish, which means you DID have a wish, and... and... GAH! SCREW THIS!Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:WHAT?! ... What he said.
I wish for... a bigger melon farm. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
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Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
244
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 17:17:00 -
[211] - Quote
Granted. You are given "Farmlands" named "Melon Farm" that is 4 times the size of your current farm. Sadly, the land is actually a superfund site in NJ that used to hold an old battery factory. The land is toxic and not fit for growing anything. You now own a lot of land in NJ that you now get to pay NJ level property taxes on.
I wish I could know every language on earth, both written and spoken, fluently.
In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
0
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 21:51:00 -
[212] - Quote
Pinstar Colton wrote:Granted. You are given "Farmlands" named "Melon Farm" that is 4 times the size of your current farm. Sadly, the land is actually a superfund site in NJ that used to hold an old battery factory. The land is toxic and not fit for growing anything. You now own a lot of land in NJ that you now get to pay NJ level property taxes on.
I wish I could know every language on earth, both written and spoken, fluently.
Wish granted, unfortunately, almost every other language on earth was replaced by English, so now no one understands anything you say.
I wish CCP wouldn't take off the "like" buttons on your own post, so i could give myself likes and/or wallow in self pity. Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Adalun Dey
Royal Amarr Institute Amarr Empire
53
|
Posted - 2012.08.30 00:54:00 -
[213] - Quote
Wish granted. You have liked your own post a gazillion times. Sadly due to CCPs new changes to the forums all the other players ragequit and you're the only one left.
I wish i wouldn't have posted in this thread. " Take my love, take my land, take me where I can not stand, I don't care, I'm still free. You can't take the sky from me. "
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Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
2
|
Posted - 2012.08.30 20:46:00 -
[214] - Quote
Adalun Dey wrote:Wish granted. You have liked your own post a gazillion times. Sadly due to CCPs new changes to the forums all the other players ragequit and you're the only one left.
I wish i wouldn't have posted in this thread.
Wish granted.
Deleting your existence...
Existence deleted.
I wish for pie. That is all.
Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Jim Era
Genco Fatal Ascension
1786
|
Posted - 2012.08.30 21:13:00 -
[215] - Quote
This pie is actually chili pie, and lots of beer to drink (because what goes better with pie than beer?)
Resulting in extremely painful diarrhea mixed with heartburn and indigestion.
I wish to (that feel when you are thinking for 15 minutes of things you want but come up with literally nothing) become good at EVE.
And possibly have more desires? |
Bendonni Narri
NOVA ONE SQUADRON
2
|
Posted - 2012.08.30 21:23:00 -
[216] - Quote
Jim Era wrote:This pie is actually chili pie, and lots of beer to drink (because what goes better with pie than beer?)
Resulting in extremely painful diarrhea mixed with heartburn and indigestion.
I wish to (that feel when you are thinking for 15 minutes of things you want but come up with literally nothing) become good at EVE.
And possibly have more desires?
Granted.
Sadly, CCP is bought out by EA. and all of your ships and skills are taken away, and you need to shell out a lot of cash for them.
I wish i could type faster.
Your resident Infected Mushroom fanatic. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
127
|
Posted - 2012.09.03 22:35:00 -
[217] - Quote
Wish granted, you can now type a hundred times as fast, but it causes your fingers to burn off from the friction, and the keys on your keyboard melt from the heat.
Speaking of keyboards...
I wish for a keyboard that didn't mess up every 5 seconds (because of this terrible keyboard, it took me at least 5 times as long to write this post than it took for you to read it).
With such a simple and descriptive wish, what could possibly go wrong? This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
131
|
Posted - 2012.09.07 03:42:00 -
[218] - Quote
I know that bumps and double posts are both not allowed, but I don't think this thread is at all ready to die. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Romvex
Universal Freelance CONSORTIUM UNIVERSALIS
65
|
Posted - 2012.09.26 14:16:00 -
[219] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish granted, you can now type a hundred times as fast, but it causes your fingers to burn off from the friction, and the keys on your keyboard melt from the heat.
Speaking of keyboards...
I wish for a keyboard that didn't mess up every 5 seconds (because of this terrible keyboard, it took me at least 5 times as long to write this post than it took for you to read it).
With such a simple and descriptive wish, what could possibly go wrong? you failed to define mess up, and the keyboard gains a consciousness of its own, sending nasty obscene messages to your boss, wife and everyone dear to you. you then die alone in a cardboard box in an alleyway, while your self thinking keyboard takes over the world and uses human bodies as d-cell batteries while they'r plugged into the matrix.... Gÿ+/ /Gûî /n++ \ This is Bob, post him into your forum sig and help him conquer the forums. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
134
|
Posted - 2012.09.26 14:54:00 -
[220] - Quote
MY GAWD! A wishless person! Stand back, I'll handle this!
>> hijack romvex.exe // loading personality files // rebooting
You wish for a Cuban Cigar. Your wish was granted, but there was a very high concentration of powdered Aluming and Iron Oxide for some unexplainable reason. When you light your cigar, it incinerates your mouth at temperatures higher than that of Molten Magma.
---
My next wish? Surprise me.
P.S.: I'm going on leave for a while (again). I need to get my laptop fixed at some point, so I want you all to try as hard as you possibly can, let your creativity build up before you unleash it. This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
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