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Shirley Serious
Gutter Press
229
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Posted - 2017.05.13 08:48:35 -
[1] - Quote
News reaches Gutter Press of a crisis amongst the slaver hound population of the Khanid Kingdom, with Gallente influence suspected as one of the causes of the crisis.
According to leading Khitaled Kennel Club member Lady Isin, there are a growing number of inadequately trained slaver hounds, being kept as pets.
Lady Isin was interviewed by a Gutter Press agent, and had this to say: "Far too many slaver hounds are being bred for looks, because celebrities, particularly Gallente ones, have made some breeds popular. This is simply unacceptable. Hounds are working animals, not pets, and those poor miniature slaver hounds have several health problems."
Lady Isin went on to say that even conventional slaver hounds are being inadequately trained in obedience: "If you visit some of these people who have these hounds, you find the poor animal is far more likely to respond to 'down from there' or 'not on the furniture' than their name. This is a sign of completely inadequate training, and the animal is likely to become aggressive at inappropriate times."
When asked about the proper way to train slaver hounds, Lady Isin said that the owner of the hound must maintain eye contact and assert dominance, such that the hound knows its place in the relationship.
The claims of Gallente influence were based on several Federation celebrities, including socialites, performers, capsuleers, and others, many of whom own slaver hounds of varying breeds, with super-miniature slaver hounds small enough to be carried in a bag being popular amongst some music stars.
A Royal Khanid Navy spokesperson said that military slaver hounds are bred and trained to military standards, and that there are no concerns from the Admiralty about health or obedience amongst the Navy hound population.
Gutter Press. Newshounds.
Just the facts.
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Evi Polevhia
True Slave Foundations Monyusaiya Industry Trade Group
1339
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Posted - 2017.05.13 11:15:53 -
[2] - Quote
Surely, you can't be serious. |
Loai Qerl
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
295
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Posted - 2017.05.13 13:43:55 -
[3] - Quote
There are ones little enough to fit in PURSES! Like FURRIERS! You should see the poor little things, they can't breathe properly and they shake and their manes are just a stringy ruff. They can barely catch pigeons. It's inhumane. |
Halcyon Ember
Repracor Industries
265
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Posted - 2017.05.13 14:02:43 -
[4] - Quote
Loai Qerl wrote:There are ones little enough to fit in PURSES! Like FURRIERS! You should see the poor little things, they can't breathe properly and they shake and their manes are just a stringy ruff. They can barely catch pigeons. It's inhumane. I feel like these animals need to be taken in and cared for properly. |
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
3824
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Posted - 2017.05.13 15:11:08 -
[5] - Quote
If this is a real thing it really is a problem. An inadequately trained slaver hound can, verging on "will," turn on its master, and it's pretty common for the results to be deadly. |
Loai Qerl
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
295
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Posted - 2017.05.13 15:15:21 -
[6] - Quote
Well, one could certainly see taking in the poor things and letting them wheeze and chase rodents around all they like for the balance of their lives, one could see that as proper duty to those who serve....hm.
Hm.
I think I may have to look into this, a little? The Qerl Purser Hound Sanctuary? Haa. I am not actually joking, though. |
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
2176
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Posted - 2017.05.13 15:22:41 -
[7] - Quote
Aria Jenneth wrote:If this is a real thing it really is a problem. An inadequately trained slaver hound can, verging on "will," turn on its master, and it's pretty common for the results to be deadly.
I am reminded of that exchange in that classic Amarr holo-film from the Golden Age of Amarr Cinema.
Man: "Does your slaver hound bite ?" Woman: "No." *growling noises and screaming* Man: "I thought you said your slaver hound doesn't bite." Woman: "That is not my slaver hound."
Classic.
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Morgana Tsukiyo
Samsara Dynamics
192
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Posted - 2017.05.13 15:33:17 -
[8] - Quote
Aria Jenneth wrote:If this is a real thing it really is a problem. An inadequately trained slaver hound can, verging on "will," turn on its master, and it's pretty common for the results to be deadly.
Why would that be a problem?
Join Project Transcendence.
Applied technology for the enhancement of human experience.
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Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
3824
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Posted - 2017.05.13 15:55:43 -
[9] - Quote
Morgana Tsukiyo wrote:Aria Jenneth wrote:If this is a real thing it really is a problem. An inadequately trained slaver hound can, verging on "will," turn on its master, and it's pretty common for the results to be deadly. Why would that be a problem?
Because a wild slaver hound is a human-eating predator with a taste and talent for vertical ambush.
Being aware of the Totality, and aware of our own non-existence, doesn't require us to be ignorant of or blind to suffering, Ms. Tsukiyo. There are duties that come with being human. |
Halcyon Ember
Repracor Industries
265
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Posted - 2017.05.13 15:56:47 -
[10] - Quote
Loai Qerl wrote:Well, one could certainly see taking in the poor things and letting them wheeze and chase rodents around all they like for the balance of their lives, one could see that as proper duty to those who serve....hm.
Hm.
I think I may have to look into this, a little? The Qerl Purser Hound Sanctuary? Haa. I am not actually joking, though. I'm willing to aid you in such an endeavour |
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Morgana Tsukiyo
Samsara Dynamics
192
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Posted - 2017.05.13 16:22:08 -
[11] - Quote
Aria Jenneth wrote:Morgana Tsukiyo wrote:Aria Jenneth wrote:If this is a real thing it really is a problem. An inadequately trained slaver hound can, verging on "will," turn on its master, and it's pretty common for the results to be deadly. Why would that be a problem? Because a wild slaver hound is a human-eating predator with a taste and talent for vertical ambush. Being aware of the Totality, and aware of our own non-existence, doesn't require us to be ignorant of or blind to suffering, Ms. Tsukiyo. There are duties that come with being human.
Why would anyone in their sane mind pick a "human-eating predator with a taste and talent for vertical ambush" to be a pet? What were they expecting?
When you watch those wild life holo-flixes do you cheer for the little animal that escaped a vicious predator, do you feel sorry for the vicious predator surprisingly cute infants that will be hungry because the meal escaped, or do you see it as natures way and do not invest affection in the context?
Join Project Transcendence.
Applied technology for the enhancement of human experience.
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Loai Qerl
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
296
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Posted - 2017.05.13 16:30:37 -
[12] - Quote
Halcyon Ember wrote: I'm willing to aid you in such an endeavour
You're too kind! Really, the only question is obtaining a bit of property and having it refurbished to suit little things that can climb things with their teeth and leap up to face height to bite. And that probably do not see very well, or like other hounds, or deal constructively with the frustrations of wanting to eat people but also wanting to not eat people, and not being good at eating people anyway. Oh, and hiring staff.
Poor creatures. :(
Actually--I don't suppose you know anyone in the Gallente entertainment industry? A holospot or two, only to get the word out, that would be nice once I've made a few more arrangements. |
Halcyon Ember
Repracor Industries
265
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Posted - 2017.05.13 16:43:34 -
[13] - Quote
Loai Qerl wrote:Halcyon Ember wrote: I'm willing to aid you in such an endeavour
You're too kind! Really, the only question is obtaining a bit of property and having it refurbished to suit little things that can climb things with their teeth and leap up to face height to bite. And that probably do not see very well, or like other hounds, or deal constructively with the frustrations of wanting to eat people but also wanting to not eat people, and not being good at eating people anyway. Oh, and hiring staff. Poor creatures. :( Actually--I don't suppose you know anyone in the Gallente entertainment industry? A holospot or two, only to get the word out, that would be nice once I've made a few more arrangements. Well, I can easily find some space, I'd just need trained handlers. |
Loai Qerl
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
297
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Posted - 2017.05.13 16:56:04 -
[14] - Quote
Nono, you misunderstand me, the space is very easy. The construction too; I could have a nice little place and a properly insured general contractor lined up on my home planet before dinnertime!
Before lunch, even.
....actually, excuse me a moment. |
Ayallah
Sniggerdly Pandemic Legion
922
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Posted - 2017.05.13 17:03:46 -
[15] - Quote
This is why it is almost impossible to obtain Hybrid Syrikos Hounds.
If anyone has any, I will pay well for one.
As strength goes.
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Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
3827
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Posted - 2017.05.13 17:07:28 -
[16] - Quote
Morgana Tsukiyo wrote:Aria Jenneth wrote:Morgana Tsukiyo wrote:Aria Jenneth wrote:If this is a real thing it really is a problem. An inadequately trained slaver hound can, verging on "will," turn on its master, and it's pretty common for the results to be deadly. Why would that be a problem? Because a wild slaver hound is a human-eating predator with a taste and talent for vertical ambush. Being aware of the Totality, and aware of our own non-existence, doesn't require us to be ignorant of or blind to suffering, Ms. Tsukiyo. There are duties that come with being human. Why would anyone in their sane mind pick a "human-eating predator with a taste and talent for vertical ambush" to be a pet? What were they expecting? When you watch those wild life holo-flixes do you cheer for the little animal that escaped a vicious predator, do you feel sorry for the vicious predator surprisingly cute infants that will be hungry because the meal escaped, or do you see it as natures way and do not invest affection in the context?
Well, a properly-trained slaver hound is a really impressive companion and guardian.
(I hope Meogoleh* is doing well. Need to ask Utari about that....)
Domestic, "companion" breeds are also sometimes very beautiful, which might result in people thinking of them more in terms of how they look and less in terms of what they might do to one's friends, neighbors, children, and spinal column.
Being natural doesn't stop a thing from being a problem, Ms. Tsukiyo. There's nothing unnatural about ... well, really, anything that happens.
That doesn't make it okay, from the perspective of people it happens to.
I'm aware you think that categorically doesn't concern you, as you maintain a broader perspective. As I'm sure you're coming to realize, I think that's folly, and a dead end, and I will deny you your playthings when I can.
The Totality won't be bothered by that, either.
* ((an Achur would recognize the name as a pun on a common regional phrase for offering food: "Will you eat?")) |
Jason Galente
Tempest Legion
1133
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Posted - 2017.05.13 18:31:50 -
[17] - Quote
Aww, how cute.
Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole.
And this foundation must be defended.
At any cost
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Loai Qerl
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
298
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Posted - 2017.05.13 18:43:02 -
[18] - Quote
It is! A bit. Now imagine a tiny one with just a little hair and also an overbite, and it makes a sound like hneeeeeeeh when it sees a pigeon or little child or piece of crumpled paper blowing past. |
James Syagrius
Reclamation
1738
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Posted - 2017.05.13 19:31:14 -
[19] - Quote
Loai Qerl wrote:It is! A bit. Now imagine a tiny one with just a little hair and also an overbite, and it makes a sound like hneeeeeeeh when it sees a pigeon or little child or piece of crumpled paper blowing past. Well there is a fluffer variety, and I fear this overly domesticated variety tend to be chubby.
GÇ£Here also are the heralds of his praise."
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Utari Onzo
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
1687
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Posted - 2017.05.13 19:38:46 -
[20] - Quote
They're not what I would call cute, but there is a certain majesty to them. As has been mention by the OP though, they are indeed working animals.
I don't own Slavers as pets, I have them as companions.
"Face the enemy as a solid wall
For faith is your armor
And through it, the enemy will find no breach
Wrap your arms around the enemy
For faith is your fire
And with it, burn away his evil"
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Morgana Tsukiyo
Samsara Dynamics
195
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Posted - 2017.05.14 07:37:58 -
[21] - Quote
Aria Jenneth wrote:
Being natural doesn't stop a thing from being a problem, Ms. Tsukiyo. There's nothing unnatural about ... well, really, anything that happens.
Well, it-¦s clear you *really* don-¦t remember anything from your training with the Achura. Probably a filled cup of your new teachers to do-¦s list.
Don-¦t know what-¦s your beef with your predecessor, but a visit to your old temple (or a new one) may be a step to empty your cup.
Join Project Transcendence.
Applied technology for the enhancement of human experience.
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Halcyon Ember
Repracor Industries
268
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Posted - 2017.05.14 09:12:14 -
[22] - Quote
Morgana Tsukiyo wrote:Aria Jenneth wrote:
Being natural doesn't stop a thing from being a problem, Ms. Tsukiyo. There's nothing unnatural about ... well, really, anything that happens.
Well, it-¦s clear you *really* don-¦t remember anything from your training with the Achura. Probably a filled cup of your new teachers to do-¦s list. Don-¦t know what-¦s your beef with your predecessor, but a visit to your old temple (or a new one) may be a step to empty your cup.
I feel like this is an insight into why there's so many facets to worship in Achura |
Sinjin Mokk
Horde Vanguard. Pandemic Horde
1238
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Posted - 2017.05.14 14:52:33 -
[23] - Quote
How amusing...
Our previous King appropriated a Gallente ***** so now the Gallente want all of Khanid's bitches?
Incidentally, if your Khanid Slave Hound acts like a pet, you're training it wrong. If it tries to eat you on a regular basis, that's about right.
"Angels live, they never die,
Apart from us, behind the sky.
They're fading souls who've turned to ice,
So ashen white in paradise."
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Loai Qerl
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
305
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Posted - 2017.05.14 15:07:58 -
[24] - Quote
....ooo. That is certainly a thing, Sinjin.
But it isn't the fault of the little ones that they were bred so, and put in such unsuitable circumstances. I'm looking forward to giving them a place back in the Kingdom where they can feel a bit more like themselves, despite it all. |
Dusklit Thistle
State War Academy Caldari State
16
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Posted - 2017.05.16 03:56:28 -
[25] - Quote
I never could get along with slaver hounds. Damn things take an instant dislike to me. Even the little ones. Its owner insisted that 'fluffy' would never, never act like that even while it was hanging off my hand... When the beast lost its grip thanks to my panicked flailing and landed in a fruit display, woman was yelling at me for hurting her precious pet... I'd still have the scar, but that was a clone ago.
Then again, I never could get along with people that remind me too much of myself, either...
Shady gentleman with a shady plan
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Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
1000
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Posted - 2017.05.16 07:19:08 -
[26] - Quote
Bad experiences with slaver hounds. I tend to reflexively shoot them on sight. Little ones would make good footballs...
I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
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Coulter Phelps
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
26
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Posted - 2017.05.16 08:17:03 -
[27] - Quote
I'm torn between wanting to go and rescue the endearing beasts from their ignorant owners, and letting their owners experience exactly how unstable an untrained Slaver Hound can be.
Colt.
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Elmund Egivand
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
2385
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Posted - 2017.05.18 01:25:41 -
[28] - Quote
Tyrel Toov wrote:Bad experiences with slaver hounds. I tend to reflexively shoot them on sight. Little ones would make good footballs...
Since my clan no longer lives in Mikramurka, we had to come up with new ways to perform sky burials.
Then we realise that the slaver hounds will perform the role of corovids for such burials.
However, the wankers do not have the manners of corovids. They do not wait for the body to be laid down properly and will also go after fresh meat. So we just perform the rite from drop the corpses at randomly selected locations so the slaver hounds don't get too crafty and start laying out ambushes for mourners.
It also helped that the only way to get the bodies to the burial locations happen to be at the edges of the regolith so we had to airdrop the bodies anyway.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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