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Sae Sato
Amarr
The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2007.10.20 20:56:00 -
[1]
This is the third episode of a continuing blog that features interviews with special personalities from the pod-pilot community.
The intention of this project is to entertain as well as provide information, and for that reason, it does not claim to be 100% serious, but the quotes from my interview partners and events described are always described accurately as they took place.
Dr. Sansha was a very unpopular man.
We don't need to discuss the background of that subject here, it has been expatiated at a length in many different forms, including but not limited to the infamous holoreels 'Dr. Sansha strikes back' and 'Night of the walking True Slaves'.
The purpose of my visit to IzzyChan's hangar in Oddelulf was to figure out if there was any true core to the gossip and speculations. To be perfectly honest, I was quite nervous, though... my partner had strongly disapproved of this interview, and as I sat there in the guest lounge nibbling on my cookies, I pondered whether or not this had been a good idea.
Perhaps I would leave this place with some fancy new headgear, a neverending pleased housewife smile and with perfect cooking skills. Maybe then Koan would approve of the interview after all.
The random gossip magazine in my hands had the answer to it all. As I ran over the pages waiting for the meeting time to arrive and bring doom to me and my cookies, I absorbed the answer and repeated it in my mind. There was no reason to be nervous. There was no such thing as true slaves.
Apparently, according to this news journalist, the Sansha empire had been one of the biggest conspiracy theories in the history of the universe. I also found out that the last emperor actually preferred oversized stuffed animals over little boys, but before I could ponder why a certain Gallentean starlet always goes out without putting any underthings on (surely she must be cold on some planets), I glanced up.
And a drone glanced down at me.
The thing was enthroned between the two little tufts of hair upon IzzyChan's head. Its mechanical stalk eyes moved about a little to have a better view of the strange Khanid woman seated below. It looked very sure of itself.
Himself or herself? I don't know where to look to check on drone gender. My sincere apologies to any feminists who might be offended by this.
IzzyChan herself looked for the most part as I had expected. Her heavy, fur-lined jacket seemed to be made of various patches of fabric, some of them oddly coloured, or shaped as smileys. She was actually shorter than I had expected, with heavy combat boots slightly similar to mine adding a bit to her height. Heavy work gloves covered both of her hands.
Picture here
For a moment, I was unsure whether to properly greet the person first, or the drone first, or pay my respects to the two of them as a symbiotic union of sorts. The drone appeared to be paying more attention to me than IzzyChan herself. Her cybernetic gaze flicked here and there, scanning the guest lounge for things invisible to my own limited perception. Finally, she refocused those artificial green eyes on me with a 'Yo, what's up?'.
The voice sounded mostly human, at least. Otherwise, I might have suffered from a very sudden and very violent headache, and excused myself, after all.
Or it? Or the two of them?
had just returned from a 'run in' with not one, but two Nyx class motherships a few jumps away, and wondered if they might have followed in. Seeing this as a good opportunity to delay a happy housewife smile for awhile longer, I encouraged her to take a few extra rounds through the station to confuse and shrug off any potential pursuers.
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Sae Sato
Amarr
The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2007.10.20 21:01:00 -
[2]
I was also informed that the slaves would start screaming in her ear if '**** hit the fan'. Fortunately, as I had just learned that true slaves don't really exist, I was able to properly interprete this statement with 'crew members' or 'workers' in place of the unspeakable word.
Shhh. Let's not say that nasty thing again. There might be children reading.
On our indirect way to IzzyChan's hangar, I pulled my little drone out, briefly fearing that the poor little thing might be even more nervous than me. But it had work to do, and there was no way I would leave the drone mother's den without any image material.
Of course, after reminding her that I'd rather not hear or see anything she would have to kill me for.
(Incoming video feed)
IzzyChan glances at the camera, > 'Ever consider getting a Sansha made drone?'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'Oh don't worry, my life is like one big witty screenplay, I'm sure you'll find something funny to laugh at.'
Sae Sato appears to consider briefly as she moves through the station corridors beside the almost equally short woman with the drone on her head, > 'What would the advantage of a Sansha drone over this one be?'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'Well, the drones I build are just cooler looking.'
Picture here
Sae Sato asks, > 'With little horns and spikes?'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'I usually build my drones using blueprints from insectoid species I come across. Like the sansha ships.......they're really good designs.'
Sae Sato asks, > 'Oh, can I have a look at some of them?'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'Oh yeah, I got some lying around the hangar....'
IzzyChan stops before a large tungsten security door, labelled 'hangar 13', and pokes some buttons beside it.
IzzyChan steps back as the door opens with a woosh. Small swarms of drones fly past and skitter across the ground, and deeper in the large room beyond the door, men in faceless masks work busily on large mechanical items that can be spotted almost anywhere across the hangar.
They don't exist. They don't exist. They don't e...
Sae Sato casts a brief glance over her shoulder before redirecting her attention towards the now open door, without directly looking beyond it. Her features carry a mildly curious look.
IzzyChan gestures towards the hangar hall, > 'The myrmidon is just through the bay doors over there, just chillin out.'
Okay. The ship chills. Now, is it male or female, does it have a name, and in the name of the lord, DOES IT BITE despite currently chilling?
IzzyChan speaks, > 'But here is good, if you dont mind the mess.'
How about tea and cookies right within the frame of the doorstep? I like to have fresh air at my back... it prevents very sudden, and very violent headaches.
Sae Sato sidesteps a drone that flies very closely past her, > 'Well, those seem eager to...
bite!
...have a look at me too...'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'And don't step on the drones, they tend to not like it.'
Sae Sato considers one of the tiny constructions with a suspicious glance, still not stepping fully inside, > 'Do they bite?'
IzzyChan walks over to a large table and attempts to move a half-built basketball sized drone out of the way.
Picture here
IzzyChan speaks, > 'Oh, they bite, poke, stab, shoot, explode....whatever they're programmed to do for their fight or flee functions.'
IzzyChan snatches a drone skuttling across the table and holds him up with his legs flailing vainly against the air as he squeaks madly, > 'This particular guy is pretty harmless.'
Picture here
Sae Sato takes a big step over a drone on the floor, moving with obvious caution.
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Sae Sato
Amarr
The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2007.10.20 21:05:00 -
[3]
IzzyChan extends the seemingly ****ed off, squeaking drone, which is about the size of her gloved hand, to Sae Sato > 'Wanna see?'
(closing video feed)
We continued admiring the beauty of her little pets some more, undisturbed by the busily working workers who worked silently on pieces of machinery, robotic parts and ship equipment, never asking any questions nor paying attention to us. Do you know any children who like to play the 'I can't see you, you can't see me' game? I was that little girl, standing there while keeping both of my eyes covered (in my mind, anyway), and we could not see each other. Of course I can't see things that don't exist. That makes perfect sense now, doesn't it?
God bless gossip magazines.
But I know you're expecting that I write about them workers. Fine. Be it your way, then.
And what of Dr. Sansha? Just a fairytale to scare naughty children?
(opening video feed)
Sae Sato asks, > 'Are Cyborg drones different from *beep*? Or are they the same?'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'My drones are just made of random parts I have lying around, I don't build *beep*, it's not my job. I don't build cyborgs much either. In fact, the only cyborg with me besides the drones is under the table I think.....'
IzzyChan ducks down under the table and starts searching for something.
Sae Sato bends forward to have a closer look at a drone on the table. She suddenly straightens herself as the construct jumps two inches, mandibles snapping.
IzzyChan speaks from below the table, > 'Ah, watch out, their sleep mode shuts off when people get too close.'
IzzyChan continues after an instant, > 'Ah, here we are...'
Sae Sato clears her throat softly and sidesteps away from the table, obviously attempting to be inconspicuous.
IzzyChan opens a cage and pulls out a white chirping lump covered in white fur.
IzzyChan turns around and holds the furrier up by the back of it's neck, then places it on an empty part of the table.
Sae Sato asks, > 'If it is not rude to ask... who builds the *beep*? And is it true that Sansha is still around, somewhere?'
IzzyChan glances to the Khanid woman > I really can't tell you much about the *beep*, or about the Boss.'
Sae Sato lifts both hands slightly as she continues with her warmest smile, > 'Of course, don't tell me anything you'd have to keep me here for.'
IzzyChan pokes the furrier to get its attention > 'Heh, no kidding. It's not really much to tell anyhow.'
(closing video feed)
See? There isn't anything to tell. Waste of blog space, I could be writing about... cookies instead.
However, we need to talk about fashion, now. The Sansha have a special taste when it comes to matters of clothing and accessoires. Should they begin to mass produce, they could pose a threat to the entire universe. Sansha fashion might flood the market and quickly eliminate other styles, forcing us to wear horns and spikes or else be snickered at by our more fashionable friends at parties.
I see it as my duty to warn all of you of this potential threat. The situation is serious, and should not be underestimated.
(opening video feed)
IzzyChan bends down to pick up a sansha-type helmet that lies on the floor, appearing to have been knocked down previously.
Picture here
Sae Sato asks, > 'Do your corporation members assist in any building?'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'My pilots just do what pilots do best, the Slaves and drones keep everything else up in order.'
IzzyChan buffs out a few marks on the helmet and puts it carefully on the table, > 'Everyone's got their own job to do.'
The camera hovers forward and in a half-circle over the helm before returning to a position above Sae's shoulder.
Sae Sato speaks, > 'Ah, I think the GalNet readers would love to see a picture of this one. It certainly has its style.'
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Sae Sato
Amarr
The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2007.10.20 21:07:00 -
[4]
IzzyChan speaks, > 'And there's a reason for the "Ohnoes zombies are attacking" rumors.'
Sae Sato tilts her head, apparently considering a chair in front of her only briefly before approaching it with two steps, heavy boots leaving a dull 'clang' with each one.
IzzyChan speaks, > '...well...there was. It's conflicted to say whether we wanna keep that up or not now.'
Sae Sato speaks, >' Sure, if the chair doesn't bite...'
IzzyChan sits down across from Sae Sato and pushes a spider-type drone underneath the table: > 'Shoo.'
Sae Sato offers an amiable smile as she settles comfortably upon the chair, stretching both legs so the boots point away from her.
Sae Sato speaks, > 'So... those zombie rumors are not really true?'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'See, we use the scare factor to keep most people out of Stain, but we also need for people to start not thinking of us as bad bad people.'
Ahah.
IzzyChan continues, > 'So we gotta come up with some kinda way of scaring the enemies and attracting the potential recruits.'
IzzyChan speaks again, after a brief moment of consideration, > 'The zombie rumors.......are close.'
Sae Sato speaks, > 'You might have a hard time convincing the various factions of that... not bad bad people, I mean.'
IzzyChan speaks, > 'I keep my *beep* clean and cared for, though. So no "zombies" here.'
That's quite enough, I think.
Sae Sato, over and out.
And I'm sorry honey, I still don't really know how to cook, or build things.
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Sae Sato
Amarr
The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2007.10.20 21:10:00 -
[5]
I am currently all out of interviews to work with, there will be no new episodes for one to a couple weeks while I gather more material to write about.
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Dalyn Arathon
Jericho Fraction
The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2007.10.21 17:14:00 -
[6]
Sansharawr
Anyway, fun read. Almost as funny as listening to IzzyChan invading our Vent server with her *bleep*s.
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Verone
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.10.22 11:44:00 -
[7]
Excellent stuff...
Izzy always has been a hell of a character, myself and Naph always enjoy her company.
>>> TRIBUTE TO A FALLEN WINGMAN <<<
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IzzyChan
Naqam
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Posted - 2007.10.22 14:25:00 -
[8]
Heeeey *bleep* are people too. 
And Verone, you guys just like to pick on me, so shaddup.
--------------------
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Verone
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.10.22 14:27:00 -
[9]
 Originally by: IzzyChan
And Verone, you guys just like to pick on me, so shaddup.
Not at all... it's always good fun when you visit the gate 
>>> TRIBUTE TO A FALLEN WINGMAN <<<
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Evanda Char
Minmatar
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
Electus Matari
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Posted - 2007.10.23 00:44:00 -
[10]
A very nice interview, Miss Sato. Shame it couldn't go on much longer.
And if Izzy did sansha-ize you, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be for cooking and cleaning. How are you with a heavy pulse rifle?
-Eva-
Electus Matari - taking it one bad guy at a time |
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IzzyChan
Naqam
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Posted - 2007.10.23 00:59:00 -
[11]
Edited by: IzzyChan on 23/10/2007 01:00:24
Originally by: Evanda Char
How are you with a heavy pulse rifle?
Those are good at cleaning them baked-on greasy dirty dishes.
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Mebrithiel Ju'wien
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.10.23 03:04:00 -
[12]
I miss Izzy.
I miss killing things with Izzy.
I miss killing things with Izzy with a heavy pulse rifle.
Personal Library |
Evanda Char
Minmatar
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
Electus Matari
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Posted - 2007.10.23 22:57:00 -
[13]
Originally by: IzzyChan
Edited by: IzzyChan on 23/10/2007 01:00:24
Originally by: Evanda Char
How are you with a heavy pulse rifle?
Those are good at cleaning them baked-on greasy dirty dishes.
Not sure I want to be around when you start spring cleaning unless I have radsuit.
-Eva-
Electus Matari - taking it one bad guy at a time |
Darina Rea
Naqam
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Posted - 2007.10.24 01:06:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Mebrithiel Ju'wien
I miss Izzy.
I miss killing things with Izzy.
I miss killing things with Izzy with a heavy pulse rifle.
There is an easy solution for that!
_________
Time is on our side. |
3ll3
Gallente
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
Electus Matari
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Posted - 2007.10.24 01:29:00 -
[15]
I really want to vist Izzy's Fun sounding Work Shop now!
All tose neat sounding creations sound absolutly increadble
*Nods Rapidly*
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Viktor Javious
Naqam
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Posted - 2007.10.24 10:16:00 -
[16]
Originally by: 3ll3
I really want to vist Izzy's Fun sounding Work Shop now!
All tose neat sounding creations sound absolutly increadble
*Nods Rapidly*
I try to avoid the "workshop" whenever possible, although there is some interesting stuff in there. 
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Anissia Morsa
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Posted - 2007.10.25 11:10:00 -
[17]
Oh, this was simply a wonderful read!
That Izzy sounds like quite a character.
Izzy, where do we go to talk about recruiting?
(And can I get the cooking upgrades? My husband is always complaining about my protein plates, and I'd rather find a different solution than killing him.)
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Rakiro
Gallente
Two Brothers Mining Corp.
Friend or Enemy
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Posted - 2007.10.25 14:05:00 -
[18]
Very entertaining, Miss Sato! I gotta say I kinda like the helmet... I had no idea Sansha *beep*s had style.
-Rakiro |
Dairya
Naqam
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Posted - 2007.10.25 14:28:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Anissia Morsa
Oh, this was simply a wonderful read!
That Izzy sounds like quite a character.
Izzy, where do we go to talk about recruiting?
(And can I get the cooking upgrades? My husband is always complaining about my protein plates, and I'd rather find a different solution than killing him.)
Drop by our public channel "Naqam" or wander into "Toxic Edge", a channel for all those who oppose the manipulations of the Angel Cartel.
As you can surely imagine, Izzy is very particular about whom she recruits, but if you want it enough, a way can surely be found.
-Rya-
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