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Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.06 21:37:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Crumplecorn on 06/12/2007 21:40:15 This film is why books should never ever be adapted into films.
Ever.
Those responsible should *self-snipped to avoid offending people who have lost someone to cancer*.
Oh god.
Why? Just why?
What did the book ever do to them? Do they have something against Pullman? Do they hate the fans of the book?
Oh god.
I think I'm going to read the book again in an attempt to wipe that film from my memory. Or maybe I should try to forget the book or film even exist, so that when I do eventually remember them I won't be able to remember anything about the film? Perhaps the best solution is to curl up in a corner and cry for a while...
There is no meme which can encompass this. This isn't Fail, it's something new and worse.
The only good thing about seeing it in the cinema was that there was someone to rant with about how bad it was, so I got most of it out of my system.
If you haven't seen this, save yourself! Run away! Far Away!
A deptiction of a milder version of my feelings -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Ryysa
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.12.06 21:40:00 -
[2]
I bet it could have enjoyed more mainstream success if they renamed it to "The Golden *****" and went for X-Rated content.
EW Guide - KB Tool - My Music |
Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.06 21:41:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Crumplecorn on 06/12/2007 21:41:29
Originally by: Ryysa I bet it could have enjoyed more mainstream success if they renamed it to "The Golden *****" and went for X-Rated content.
Do you mean to imply that it wasn't successful? I can't being myself to look at reviews, if anyone actually liked this I would lose all faith in humanity. Please tell me the world hates it. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Neon Genesis
The Landed Gentry
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Posted - 2007.12.06 21:49:00 -
[4]
Originally by: Ryysa I bet it could have enjoyed more mainstream success if they renamed it to "The Golden *****" and went for X-Rated content.
The Golden Coinpurse. _
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Kirjava
Lothian Quay Industries Zzz
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Posted - 2007.12.06 21:50:00 -
[5]
Crumple, I am glad I haven't watched it. My earliest memories are of my father leaving this on the ground and 5 year old me reading this, I don't want to hvae something spoil that for me Rate my charecters please, updated so need 3 more, 2M isk for each good review |
Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.06 21:55:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Kirjava Crumple, I am glad I haven't watched it. My earliest memories are of my father leaving this on the ground and 5 year old me reading this, I don't want to hvae something spoil that for me
It was during this film that I facepalmed in real life for the first time.
It's basically a parody of the book. Every scene that had any emotion or impact is now either completely lifeless, horribly forced and ham acted, or just plain funny because it's so badly done. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Tarminic
Forsaken Resistance The Last Stand
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:00:00 -
[7]
This is not nearly as amusing as the fact that the hardcore Christians are freaking out because the books are about "killing god" apparently. ---------------- Tarminic - 29 Million SP in pink Forum Warfare |
Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:02:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Tarminic This is not nearly as amusing as the fact that the hardcore Christians are freaking out because the books are about "killing god" apparently.
Not really what the books are about, but yes some of the more heated opinions are lulz-worthy. Amazon.com reviews of the books show us that religious nuts can in fact use computers. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Motokko
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:10:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Tarminic This is not nearly as amusing as the fact that the hardcore Christians are freaking out because the books are about "killing god" apparently.
Awesome job. For those who haven't already read the books you've just given away the climax to the trilogy .
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Tarminic
Forsaken Resistance The Last Stand
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:13:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Motokko
Originally by: Tarminic This is not nearly as amusing as the fact that the hardcore Christians are freaking out because the books are about "killing god" apparently.
Awesome job. For those who haven't already read the books you've just given away the climax to the trilogy .
Well hell, how am I supposed to know that's the climax of the books! You are the one that's revealed it, man! ---------------- Tarminic - 29 Million SP in pink Forum Warfare |
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Mtthias Clemi
Gallente The Scope
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:18:00 -
[11]
Edited by: Mtthias Clemi on 06/12/2007 22:19:02 As far as i know Pullman liked the film...
maybe you've interpreted the book differently to the author?
Im going to go and see it anyway... ill let you know what i think, ive not read the book in a long long time.
EDIT: That self snip was probably a good idea --------------------------------------------
THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! |
Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:20:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Mtthias Clemi As far as i know Pullman liked the film...
maybe you've interpreted the book differently to the author?
Im going to go and see it anyway... ill let you know what i think, ive not read the book in a long long time.
This has nothing to do with interpretations. This is about the literal plot, and the quality of the film overall. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Ademaro Imre
Caldari Eye of God
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:46:00 -
[13]
But Nicole Kidman is in the movie. |
Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:50:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Ademaro Imre But Nicole Kidman is in the movie.
This reminds me of a funny bit where she slaps the golden monkey, and then turns around and says she would never hurt him, and I was thinking "of course not, you feel everything he does, you'd basically be hitting yourself". In most their cases it is bad writing rather than bad acting which kills it. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Mtthias Clemi
Gallente The Scope
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Posted - 2007.12.06 22:57:00 -
[15]
We shall seeee crumple... we shall seeee --------------------------------------------
THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! |
Major Stormer
Caldari Cutting Edge Incorporated RAZOR Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.06 23:09:00 -
[16]
I love the books, (and im a religous guy!) and am going to see the movie on Saturday. I dont expect it to meet what the books are, so im not going to compare. Publishers/directors always manage to ruin what you think you want, so I shall be comparing it against other films, not the books. two seperate things. Yo, sig it! |
Benco97
Gallente Mineral Dynamics
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Posted - 2007.12.06 23:12:00 -
[17]
Edited by: Benco97 on 06/12/2007 23:12:51 I just had an awesome idea, You should start a review website up Crumply, you can call it "Crumple zone" That's basically it.. I just thought of a name..
edit - get it? because it's about bad films see, bad like.. car crash bad.. on second thought it may need more work..
Originally by: lofty29 No.
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Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.06 23:28:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Major Stormer I love the books, (and im a religous guy!) and am going to see the movie on Saturday. I dont expect it to meet what the books are, so im not going to compare. Publishers/directors always manage to ruin what you think you want, so I shall be comparing it against other films, not the books. two seperate things.
Don't worry, its crap compared to most films too. Like I said, many of the problems are not in relation to the book at all. But ofc, judge for yourself.
Originally by: Benco97 I just had an awesome idea, You should start a review website up Crumply, you can call it "Crumple zone" That's basically it.. I just thought of a name..
edit - get it? because it's about bad films see, bad like.. car crash bad.. on second thought it may need more work..
Yeah I've had that idea in the past but I always remember that no-one cares what I think, so why would I bother spending time writing what I think? If only bloggers and movie critics would realize this too, there'd be a lot less crap on the Web. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Victor Ivanov
Minmatar The Fated Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.12.06 23:55:00 -
[19]
I was afraid of this when I saw the trailer... Too much crappy video animation in the trailer for the movie ever to be any good. -_-
Thank you from saving me, Crumplecorn. I'll stay far away and just read the books again. <3 Iorek. ----------------------
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illusha
North Face Force
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Posted - 2007.12.07 04:36:00 -
[20]
I want to have sex with Nicole Kidman
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Chainsaw Plankton
IDLE GUNS
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Posted - 2007.12.07 07:27:00 -
[21]
I just want to see the polar bear fight where he knocks off the other ones jaw and there is blood pouring down his front and his tongue is lolling around.
although i am sure that part isn't in the movie, or is rather censored
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Kirjava
Lothian Quay Industries Zzz
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Posted - 2007.12.07 09:25:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Chainsaw Plankton I just want to see the polar bear fight where he knocks off the other ones jaw and there is blood pouring down his front and his tongue is lolling around.
although i am sure that part isn't in the movie, or is rather censored
Didn't he then cut open the front of him and feast on his heart as a sighn of victory? Books were awesome, got me addicted to reading. I realy don't like that much American media, it's British and Japanese stuff that is the best. Rate my charecters please, updated so need 3 more, 2M isk for each good review |
Reiisha
Splint Eye Probabilities Inc.
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Posted - 2007.12.07 10:09:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Kirjava I realy don't like that much American media, it's British and Japanese stuff that is the best.
Avatar ftw!
Also, i'm going to see that movie regardless. Maybe it's better for me because i haven't read the books.
EVE History Wiki
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Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.07 11:05:00 -
[24]
Edited by: Crumplecorn on 07/12/2007 11:07:47 If you haven't read the books I don' see how you can possibly follow the inane jumping around of the so-called plot, but people seem to so meh.
The fight is in, and Iofur (or should I say Ragnar ) does get his lower jaw smashed off, but you only see it for a second and there is no blood or tongue lolling. Oh, and they cut the speeches beforehand too. However, Iofur does call Iorek names, just like in the book. In fact, exactly the ones in the book. Its funny how the film only included the explicitly stated dialogue, and included it exactly, but that when the dialogue is only mentioned, like the speeches, it goes missing in the film. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Chain Daisy
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Posted - 2007.12.07 12:39:00 -
[25]
About Pullman liking it - I've seen an interview with him about the film on telly a while back. He's completely mercenary about the whole thing - he's in it for the money, and he doesn't mind telling people that.
I don't think he much cares whether the film is good or bad so long as they pay him...
(I don't have anything especially against Pullman, I liked the books, but his attitude is a bit odd!)
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Kalazar
Amarr Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.12.07 12:54:00 -
[26]
It's not called the f***ing Golden Compass! It's an alethiometer, say it with me now, "alethiometer". Things getting dumbed down so that morons can understand it without too much cognitive processes occuring for the major lose tbh. ----------------------------------------------
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Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.07 13:18:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Crumplecorn on 07/12/2007 13:21:45
Originally by: Chain Daisy (I don't have anything especially against Pullman, I liked the books, but his attitude is a bit odd!)
AFAIK he only cares about the books, he had no problem with a film being made but had no interest himself. Since it got made anyway I can understand him just being interested in the money.
Originally by: Kalazar It's not called the f***ing Golden Compass! It's an alethiometer, say it with me now, "alethiometer". Things getting dumbed down so that morons can understand it without too much cognitive processes occuring for the major lose tbh.
Have you seen the film? Every time a character explains to another what it is, they always say that it is also known as a Golden Compass. Every time.
"This is an alethiometer - a truth measure. A Golden Compass"
Its like they felt the need to validate the name of the film. Practically all references to the Aurora were removed compared to the book too. -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Mtthias Clemi
Gallente The Scope
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Posted - 2007.12.07 14:25:00 -
[28]
As far as i know the book was called the golden compass in America, or thats what i was told.
All the adverts here in the Uk ive seen say Northern lights at the top in big writing but The Golden Compass at the bottom in that gold writing.. so meh.
But they used the British name for Harry potter, so why not this? not that i am bothered about either.. --------------------------------------------
THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! |
Crumplecorn
Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2007.12.07 14:28:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Mtthias Clemi As far as i know the book was called the golden compass in America, or thats what i was told.
All the adverts here in the Uk ive seen say Northern lights at the top in big writing but The Golden Compass at the bottom in that gold writing.. so meh.
But they used the British name for Harry potter, so why not this? not that i am bothered about either..
In America the books called The Golden Compass due to a miscommunication when it was originally published. For the film they have gone all out Golden Compass with it, presumably due to the name of the book over there. Here (Ireland) the trailers referred to it at the Golden Compass. Interesting that its called by the original name in the UK... -
I wish I was a three foot female doll with a watering can and heterochromatic eyes. |
Rialtor
Amarr Yarrrateers
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Posted - 2007.12.07 17:18:00 -
[30]
Edited by: Rialtor on 07/12/2007 17:22:02 Edited by: Rialtor on 07/12/2007 17:21:19 Edited by: Rialtor on 07/12/2007 17:19:25 I've always hated when people compare 2 different entertainment types to one another. Why would you compare a movie to a book, there's 2 different expectations there. It's like comparing Eve to Monopoly, or Eve CCG to Eve MMO.
That said, Hollywood is full of idiots and can't make a movie anymore. They all need to be fired over there. It's a good thing Writers are on strike, at least they can stop writing crap and wasting paper ;).
And I don't mean independent movies and things like that, I mean all the mainstream "blockbusters", they're all garbage.
---- sig ----
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world... Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. |
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