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Soren
PAK
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Posted - 2008.05.20 22:21:00 -
[31]
You could just go all out then learn from the experience either way.. but I'm not going to lie.. it could REALLY suck.
☠-->-->--
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Slade Trillgon
Siorai Iontach
Brotherhood of the Spider
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Posted - 2008.05.20 22:23:00 -
[32]
 Originally by: DGTLC
I probably should have mentioned earlier that I'm probably joining the same class as her next year which could make forgetting about her quite a bit harder.
I think I'll go for the tell her how I feel and risk it solution. At least it will give me conformation either way.
That got me laughing in a "I feel sorry for you kinda way". But yes I think you have realized, for your sanity, that you probably have to man up.
Even if she blows you off rub it off and get some practice in for next year. Get buddy buddy with one or more of the the new girls in your class, if you are still thinking about her use the new girls as bait 
Man I need to stop.
Good Luck!!!
Slade
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Kusha'an
RuffRyders
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2008.05.21 13:02:00 -
[33]
Originally by: DGTLC
I probably should have mentioned earlier that I'm probably joining the same class as her next year which could make forgetting about her quite a bit harder.
I think I'll go for the tell her how I feel and risk it solution. At least it will give me conformation either way.
There's one other possible solution, more of a "split the baby test solution."
Just don't call her for like 2 or 3 weeks. If you don't hear from her, you've got your answer. If she's interested, she'll be annoyed that you're being distant and she will seek you out.
If you're in the same class with her, ignore her. Don't give her what she wants. It might get her attention. Right now you're her cuddle-b!tch, meaning she uses you for friendship and 'cuddling' while she's off shagging some other guy. You don't want to be where you are right now, that's for certain.
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What part of "shorn't" do you not understand? |
Verone
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2008.05.21 14:33:00 -
[34]
Regardless of how afraid you are to tell her, do it. Talk to her, and put it into words as best you can.
Life's too short to wait around afraid, and miss out on the opportunities that are potentially there if how you feel is returned. Either way, you're going to put your mind at ease knowing the answer.
I was in exactly the same position as you, same feelings and all,and didn't say anything. Word kinda... well... sort of travelled by word of mouth and I'm now really good friends with the lady in question, although nothing more than that has or probably ever will develop from it (I believe she's now spoken for and probably regards me as more of a friend).
If things don't work out as you hoped, then you're safe in the knowledge that she at least knows.
\o/ EON FICTION WRITER OF THE YEAR! \o/
>>> THE LIFE OF AN OUTLAW <<< |
Slade Trillgon
Siorai Iontach
Brotherhood of the Spider
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Posted - 2008.05.21 14:38:00 -
[35]
Once you tell her you will feel better, even if she does not reciprocate the feelings.
Just know, that after a few years she may just come crawling back with the knowledge that you were the best thing that could have happened to her.
And then budy o boy the the cards are in your favor
Slade
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Akiba Penrose
PAK
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Posted - 2008.05.21 17:30:00 -
[36]
Edited by: Akiba Penrose on 21/05/2008 17:31:15
Dude,, if you asked her out and she didnt answer, do not start telling her about your feelings for her. She will panic.
Imagen yourself,, if you had this girl friend that you where unsertain of,, and she suddenly starts telling you about her feelings for you.
The absolute worst thing you can do in this situation is writing her a letter explaining your feelings. Dont go there 
If you want a chance with her,, have fun with her. Seems you know this girl so you should have a fair chance.
And leave the heavy talks until you know where she stands.
my 2c
- - -
Stop whining about FW. Falcons is the real problem. |
Wanna Kill
Hybrid Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.05.21 18:12:00 -
[37]
I hope I'm not too slow and harms allready done, I'll see if I can catch you:
I will advice against tellling her your feelings.
If you tell her your feelings, you are very likely to get a canned answer like:
''I'm not sure, give me some time''
''You're a great person and I love you, but...''
Or a variation of the above, which either results in her convincing you that you just need to show her what you REALLY feel to convince her that you're right for each others or her actually telling you off with a 'friends' but saying it in a vague tone which makes it possible for you to interpret that she's into you.
Think about it, the scenario with someone telling a girl how they really feel and how they couldnt live without them whereafter the girls jumps right into their manly crotch and they have wild sex everafter mainly exists in our thoughts and in the movies, you really aren't adding any constructive to the situation besides making yourself incredibly vulnerable and killing all kinds of anticipations.
The problem you are facing lies not with how she'll react and which line you can drop to ''convince'' her but your outlook on things.
You need to handle your own issues before looking at the world around you (the girl in this case). You need more confidence. You are making excuses for yourself like ''I know this probably isnt the best'' ''you cant blame me'' ''I'll be back in a few hours to see what damage I have caused''. And that's just from your OP.
Man up and stand up for yourself, you are doing the right thing by asking for help when in doubt! Many thinks that they achieve masculinity by knowing everything - it is perfectly fine to ask for help when in doubt, in fact, it's also very mature. You have nothing to be ashamed of, so stop pretending like you have! What's wrong with being 18? An 18 year old can feel love, too, as you've experienced! You are building many barriers for yourself through your lack of confidence which leads to your excuses, accept yourself. Hell, many of the posters here would give their right nut to be 18 again! They envy you, and know that. Now get out there and have fun!
My advice is to have fun with your friends and the other girls near you. I'm your age, I've found that I'm much better off by taking it easy, leaning back and enjoying myself instead of focussing everything (like youre doing) on one person/situation. I'm with girls to have fun and feel good, she's making you feel nervous and unconfident while soaking up all your energy - you're even fearing for the next year where she'll be close to you all the time. Enjoy yourself, man!
Feel free to drop me a line in game, I'm actually too late for an appointment now, but that's how it is. They'll have to deal with it
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Malcolm Gerhardt
Arctic Fox Industries and Materials
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Posted - 2008.05.22 05:35:00 -
[38]
I was very much liek you when i was 18, but a hitch in the Corps and a couple tours to Iraq changed that.
Not that i'm saying enlist.
But in my experiences since, i noticed a few things that may help. Pick and choose as you please or just toss it all out. won't break my heart.
From your accoutn of she trying to find out why you want to take her out, hse has a pretty good idea that you like her again. and if you were as nervous as you say you were, that would indicate as well.
Additionally, she said it wasn't a no. she wants to know your intentions before she commits. so my first piece of advice is: before every encounter with you, decide what the the goal of that encounter will be and stick to that goal. For example, when you asked her out to eat, your goal was to date her again. it probably shoudl of been 'to get her to eat' that way when she asks why, you can give a more concrete answer like " well, i'm hungary and i thought you might be too."
another piece of advice: recon the situations. Kinda like eve. you shouldn't barrel through areas with out scouting..or you die right? my approach has always been to go way over the top. again using the situation where she prodded you why you wanted to take her out, i would of come back with some like " Well I was gunna ask you to marry me but my dog ate the ring, so i figured some burgers would dod instead." use your own judgement on that one.
And lastly. Don't JUST take her out to eat. Do plays, sporting events, museums and the such. that way, you'll have a better excuse for the first one (my buddy dropped out, you wanna go?). Also you aren't chained to a couple of chairs facing each other, forced to make conversation. dinner after is good because you can discuss the event/activity. and Most importantly, when she does think about you, It's Fun memories, not awkward ones.
Good luck mate |
Kusha'an
RuffRyders
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2008.05.22 12:25:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Malcolm Gerhardt
I was very much liek you when i was 18, but a hitch in the Corps and a couple tours to Iraq changed that.
Not that i'm saying enlist.
But in my experiences since, i noticed a few things that may help. Pick and choose as you please or just toss it all out. won't break my heart.
From your accoutn of she trying to find out why you want to take her out, hse has a pretty good idea that you like her again. and if you were as nervous as you say you were, that would indicate as well.
Additionally, she said it wasn't a no. she wants to know your intentions before she commits. so my first piece of advice is: before every encounter with you, decide what the the goal of that encounter will be and stick to that goal. For example, when you asked her out to eat, your goal was to date her again. it probably shoudl of been 'to get her to eat' that way when she asks why, you can give a more concrete answer like " well, i'm hungary and i thought you might be too."
another piece of advice: recon the situations. Kinda like eve. you shouldn't barrel through areas with out scouting..or you die right? my approach has always been to go way over the top. again using the situation where she prodded you why you wanted to take her out, i would of come back with some like " Well I was gunna ask you to marry me but my dog ate the ring, so i figured some burgers would dod instead." use your own judgement on that one.
And lastly. Don't JUST take her out to eat. Do plays, sporting events, museums and the such. that way, you'll have a better excuse for the first one (my buddy dropped out, you wanna go?). Also you aren't chained to a couple of chairs facing each other, forced to make conversation. dinner after is good because you can discuss the event/activity. and Most importantly, when she does think about you, It's Fun memories, not awkward ones.
Good luck mate
But don't waste any money on her until you're sure that it's going somewhere. Otherwise you have nothing to show for it. Women are investments. Some are scams. They are not above taking a free meal or ten if all it takes is a little smile and a little wiggle. If you're going to be "just friends," then go dutch. Watch how long that lasts. 
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What part of "shorn't" do you not understand? |
Akiba Penrose
PAK
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Posted - 2008.05.22 12:51:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Kusha'an
Just don't call her for like 2 or 3 weeks. If you don't hear from her, you've got your answer.
If you're in the same class with her, ignore her. Don't give her what she wants.
..don't waste any money on her..
Have you ever had any success with this tactic?
- - -
Stop whining about FW. Falcons is the real problem. |
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The Tzar
Malicious Intentions
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Posted - 2008.05.22 13:02:00 -
[41]
Sounds like she's already in the driving seat here mate. She had her chance with you and she blew it, move on to one of the other 3 billion (?) women on the planet. 
__________________________________________
'Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear intelligent
until they speak'
__________________________________________ |
SCSPOOK
16th Interspacial Dynasty
The 11th Hour
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Posted - 2008.05.22 13:25:00 -
[42]
Originally by: The Tzar
Sounds like she's already in the driving seat here mate. She had her chance with you and she blew it, move on to one of the other 3 billion (?) women on the planet.
Pick a big fat one. Their much easier and the pain of waking up to one in the morning is marginally less than being rejected in love.
WIN WIN!
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Kusha'an
RuffRyders
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2008.05.22 13:47:00 -
[43]
Originally by: Akiba Penrose
Originally by: Kusha'an
Just don't call her for like 2 or 3 weeks. If you don't hear from her, you've got your answer.
If you're in the same class with her, ignore her. Don't give her what she wants.
..don't waste any money on her..
Have you ever had any success with this tactic?
Yes. At worst, you maintain your self respect. At best, she notices you pulling away and moves toward you.
----
What part of "shorn't" do you not understand? |
Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
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Posted - 2008.05.22 14:08:00 -
[44]
Originally by: DGTLC
but I need help with what to do.
I know this probably isn't the best comunity in the world to ask (I take pride in that tbh) but it's to do with a girl.
Basic outline is there is this girl who I dated a few years back and seriously fell in love with. We didn't speak for quite a while after we broke up but I'd started seeing her around and chatted to her once or twice recently and tbh just seeing her makes me feel happier than I ever have.
Now I wanted to see if there was actually anything there or just some childish fantasy reliving itself, either way I thought I'd ask her if she wanted to grab a bite to eat sometime but when I did she completely avoided answering me but was wondering why I wanted too. I didn't tell her because no matter how I worded it, it sounded completely stupid. When I pushed her a bit for an answer all she said was that it wasn't a no. We never really got past that and still chat (although admitadly rarely) but I still get that feeling, where whenever I see her my heart starts to feel like it's leaping out of my chest (half the time it looks like it is as well. I'm not particulary weighty and have a very strong heart) and I don't know what to do about it.
I've considered asking her again and telling her why but I a) rarely can build up enough guts to do it, and b) don't want to ruin what contact we do have (atm very little tbh).
Like I said at the start, this is probably about the worst community I could ask but any help is good. I just want nothing more then to at least see if there is anything solid between us or just a fantasy (you can't blame me if it's the second on... she is just soooo hot).
I'll be back in a few hours to see what damage I have caused/which trolls have had a good feed.
Disregard everyone else's advice, because I guarantee they haven't had as much awesome sex as me. If you want to knock boots with this filly, here's what you gotta do.
Skip the whole 'working up the guts to ask' part. Girls can smell 'working up the guts' on a guy, and it smells like roadkill and armpits. You're going to ask. You're not only going to ask, you're going to ask the shit out of her. Make a reservation at a fancy restaurant. Tell her you're taking her out for a bite, don't give her advance warning, make it sound like you're taking her to some pizza joint or buying her a burrito, like it's no big deal. Then, when the time comes, you arrive at the awesome romantic high end restaurant, and just tell her: Listen, I like you, I want to date again (works best while pouring glass of wine).
If she says no after this, shrug and smile like it's no big deal, and enjoy the good meal. The next time a guy takes her out for burritos on a first date, she'll remember you.
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Larice
Seven Provinces
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Posted - 2008.05.22 14:59:00 -
[45]
Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu
Disregard everyone else's advice, because I guarantee they haven't had as much awesome sex as me. If you want to knock boots with this filly, here's what you gotta do.
Skip the whole 'working up the guts to ask' part. Girls can smell 'working up the guts' on a guy, and it smells like roadkill and armpits. You're going to ask. You're not only going to ask, you're going to ask the shit out of her. Make a reservation at a fancy restaurant. Tell her you're taking her out for a bite, don't give her advance warning, make it sound like you're taking her to some pizza joint or buying her a burrito, like it's no big deal. Then, when the time comes, you arrive at the awesome romantic high end restaurant, and just tell her: Listen, I like you, I want to date again (works best while pouring glass of wine).
If she says no after this, shrug and smile like it's no big deal, and enjoy the good meal. The next time a guy takes her out for burritos on a first date, she'll remember you.
Mr. Professional Social Engineer has it right again. 
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toasteroven501
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Posted - 2008.05.22 18:48:00 -
[46]
Well since i don't think anyone has said it yet, there's one other option which, although a nasty tactic, usually does works out pretty well.
The jealousy bit. Hang out with her alot, but just as friends, and hit on every other hot girl around. Even ask her for advice. Just play it cool and see how she reacts. Girls get jealous too. And it's very obvious when they do.
This may not be the right thing for you to do, but it's definately an option.
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Slade Trillgon
Siorai Iontach
Brotherhood of the Spider
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Posted - 2008.05.22 19:03:00 -
[47]
Originally by: toasteroven501
Well since i don't think anyone has said it yet, there's one other option which, although a nasty tactic, usually does works out pretty well.
The jealousy bit. Hang out with her alot, but just as friends, and hit on every other hot girl around. Even ask her for advice. Just play it cool and see how she reacts. Girls get jealous too. And it's very obvious when they do.
This may not be the right thing for you to do, but it's definately an option.
You know this is really a very good option, because within this choice many other options are guaranteed to open up. This one could be trouble if you mind head games.
Then again all the above are head games, life is one big head game so go with the flow.
Hope it ends well, or you learn a good lesson from it, or both.
For what lies beyond is one more question waiting to be answered 
Slade
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Bonds Visio
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Posted - 2008.05.22 20:22:00 -
[48]
Edited by: Bonds Visio on 22/05/2008 20:23:39
I went through exactly the same thing about 10 years ago. Ultimately I told her how I felt and we went on like that for a while. Eventually though, she broke my heart. I moved on, never having completly fallen out of love with her, met someone else and am now very happily engaged.
My advice is to move on to someone else (or even to no one else) It hurts a lot less in the long run. She doesn't REALLY want to be with you or you wouldn't have to ask these questions.
You're her safety net. She's just using you. Sorry buddy. Girls do that to guys.
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Calvin Firenze
Thanos and Killjoy Productions
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Posted - 2008.05.22 20:48:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Dheorl
Sex buddies -insert ochetsral heavenly music here to tase-... I like it.
And yes I do watch too much scrubs
That show is so great..I wish real doctors were like that, I'd like going to work a whole lot more...instead they have a gigantic stick up their ass. Even the residents who just finished med school think they're king **** of turd mountain.
On topic - when I was 18 I was with a girl and I thought the sun rose and set on her. Long story short, I was a moron and got burned because I was in the same boat as you are right now. Yes, you might wonder later on if something would have happened. Unfortunately that patented bull**** answer of "it isn't a no" is just that, bull****. Chances are she's testing the waters and trying not to hurt you too bad so she has someone to fall back on. I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's just how females are. If something DID happen, you would most likely find yourself in a position of having a cheating girlfriend and/or hurt more than you would if you had just ended contact.
My advice - Cut all ties and never go out of your way to speak to her again. You'll feel some hurt, but you will get over it. Easiest way to do that is to go out and meet new people. Not specifically as romantic interests, just other people in general. If all else fails, Pamela Handerson will never let you down.
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Roshan longshot
Ordos Humanitas
Brutally Clever Empire
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Posted - 2008.05.23 13:18:00 -
[50]
Originally by: DGTLC
but I need help with what to do.
I know this probably isn't the best comunity in the world to ask (I take pride in that tbh) but it's to do with a girl.
Basic outline is there is this girl who I dated a few years back and seriously fell in love with. We didn't speak for quite a while after we broke up but I'd started seeing her around and chatted to her once or twice recently and tbh just seeing her makes me feel happier than I ever have.
Now I wanted to see if there was actually anything there or just some childish fantasy reliving itself, either way I thought I'd ask her if she wanted to grab a bite to eat sometime but when I did she completely avoided answering me but was wondering why I wanted too. I didn't tell her because no matter how I worded it, it sounded completely stupid. When I pushed her a bit for an answer all she said was that it wasn't a no. We never really got past that and still chat (although admitadly rarely) but I still get that feeling, where whenever I see her my heart starts to feel like it's leaping out of my chest (half the time it looks like it is as well. I'm not particulary weighty and have a very strong heart) and I don't know what to do about it.
I've considered asking her again and telling her why but I a) rarely can build up enough guts to do it, and b) don't want to ruin what contact we do have (atm very little tbh).
Like I said at the start, this is probably about the worst community I could ask but any help is good. I just want nothing more then to at least see if there is anything solid between us or just a fantasy (you can't blame me if it's the second on... she is just soooo hot).
I'll be back in a few hours to see what damage I have caused/which trolls have had a good feed.
By the looks of it, you should think of the reasons you broke up. Who did what, and why. Chances are she is reluctant to rekindle a relationship that "Just isnt right"
Lose your manhood, go knock on the door with a dozen flowers. When she opens the door, be on your knees with the best puppy dog eyes you can muster. Tell her you just wanted her to know how you feel for her, and want to know why you two could'nt work it out from the last time.
Damn you CCP! Why did you have to make such a good game?? Yes you drew me back AGAIN! Oh well wheres the Omber? |
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