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Imperator Jora'h
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Posted - 2008.06.05 17:48:00 -
[1]
Yes I am a native English speaker. Yes this is (supposedly) English. But for the life of me it may as well be Greek for all the sense it makes. Very weird to see a language you understand written well and be completely unfathomable at the same time.
Quote: England's destabilised double ducks
Quite what the Silver Fox in his Cape Town lair would have made of this is too frightening to contemplate. Duncan Fletcher had complained that questioning the form of Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood had a destabilising effect on the England team. Well, Bell managed three balls and Collingwood four. The likelihood is that the former England coach would have looked askance at his live television feed and wandered off into the kitchen in need of a strong cup of tea.
It might be tempting to make the scathing observation that the innings offered by Collingwood and Bell were not as much double duck as Donald Duck were it not for fear of the immediate destabilising effect that might occur. Fletcher's analysis of the pressures caused by chopping and changing has merit in general terms, but it hardly seems appropriate in this situation.
SOURCE: Guardian
Even when I do not know the specifics of a given sport I can usually sort out what they are getting at. This? I cannot even tell if it is good or bad (kinda guessing bad but not sure).
Does this make sense to anyone?
-------------------------------------------------- "Of course," said my grandfather, pulling a gun from his belt as he stepped from the Time Machine, "there's no paradox if I shoot you!"
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Shirley Serious
Imperial Academy
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Posted - 2008.06.05 17:56:00 -
[2]
If you're batting in cricket, and you are dismissed, having scored no runs, then you have scored a "duck".
Two batsmen were out, having scored ducks, so double duck.
Media speculation on the players selected for a team apparently causes the team to be destabilised.
So, you get destabilised double ducks. Makes sense to me.
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Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
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Posted - 2008.06.05 17:57:00 -
[3]
Translation into commonese (a.k.a. American English), excerpts :
"[...]rumours about Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood sucking have wrecked the team's morale[...]the former England coach must have been dissapointed[...]we want to flame'em but we fear the fans would just flame us back[...]"
And no, I am not a native English speaker, and I have no clue about cricket either
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P'uck
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Posted - 2008.06.05 18:01:00 -
[4]
This article is to good writing what a rocky single trail up the himalaya is to a relaxing walk on the beach.
No, im not native either, but i bet that writer is scratching his balls by reaching around his back.
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Kirjava
Royal Hiigaran Navy
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Posted - 2008.06.05 18:04:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Kirjava on 05/06/2008 18:04:44 A tad long winded but as a native english reader I can understand it.
Which bit are you having issues with?
EDIT - I see you are a native english speaker, as you dont know cricket I assume you are speaking the American dialect of English?
Haruhiists - Overloading Out of Pod discussions since 2007. |
Imperator Jora'h
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Posted - 2008.06.05 18:16:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Kirjava Edited by: Kirjava on 05/06/2008 18:04:44 A tad long winded but as a native english reader I can understand it.
Which bit are you having issues with?
EDIT - I see you are a native english speaker, as you dont know cricket I assume you are speaking the American dialect of English?
Oh, I can read the words fine. It is my almost total lack of understanding of Cricket that is most at issue but as I said I am not familiar with many sports but can usually follow what a reporter is on about. Unless you are very aware of Cricket and its jargon this is all gibberish. Things such as:
- Quite what the Silver Fox in his Cape Town lair would have made of this is too frightening to contemplate.
Who is the "Silver Fox"? What's the deal with his lair in Cape Town? Why should we be afraid?
- Duncan Fletcher had complained that questioning the form of Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood had a destabilising effect on the England team.
Questioning the form of two players "destabilised" the team? What form? And are these guys 5 year-olds? In most sports criticism of player suckage is normal and a favorite fan pasttime.
- Well, Bell managed three balls and Collingwood four. The likelihood is that the former England coach would have looked askance at his live television feed and wandered off into the kitchen in need of a strong cup of tea.
Three balls? Four? Presumably this goes to ducks but I have no clue if three/four balls is good or bad or what. And the coach's response to (presumably) terrible play is a cup of tea? Hope he is spiking that tea.
- It might be tempting to make the scathing observation that the innings offered by Collingwood and Bell were not as much double duck as Donald Duck were it not for fear of the immediate destabilising effect that might occur.
What? No scathing observations because it might upset the players? And of course this is a scathing comment cloaked as remarking on the possibilities of a scathing comment. Looks to me like he already went there near as I can tell. This some weird British means of backhanded criticism while maintaining the thin illusion of politeness?
- Fletcher's analysis of the pressures caused by chopping and changing has merit in general terms, but it hardly seems appropriate in this situation.
Who chopped what and hung where? Why is it good?
-------------------------------------------------- "Of course," said my grandfather, pulling a gun from his belt as he stepped from the Time Machine, "there's no paradox if I shoot you!"
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Fink Angel
The Merry Men
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Posted - 2008.06.05 18:44:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Imperator Jora'h Does this make sense to anyone?
Vienna!
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Kyrall
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2008.06.05 18:52:00 -
[8]
Well of course you can't understand it, they missed a comma after Donald Duck. Put that in and then suddenly it all makes sense! - Originally by: Kyrall Pfft antivirus? Real men use a hard drive tank.
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SCSPOOK
16th Interspacial Dynasty The 11th Hour
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Posted - 2008.06.05 21:05:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Fink Angel
Originally by: Imperator Jora'h Does this make sense to anyone?
Vienna!
Actually, I believe it is;
"This means nothing to meeeeee..ohhh _____________ "
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Fink Angel
The Merry Men
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Posted - 2008.06.05 21:12:00 -
[10]
Originally by: SCSPOOK
Originally by: Fink Angel
Originally by: Imperator Jora'h Does this make sense to anyone?
Vienna!
Actually, I believe it is;
"This means nothing to meeeeee..ohhh _____________ "
Heh, I wondered if anyone would know WTF I was on about. Well deduced mate!
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P'uck
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Posted - 2008.06.05 21:38:00 -
[11]
loltune
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Slade Trillgon
Siorai Iontach Brotherhood of the Spider
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Posted - 2008.06.05 21:47:00 -
[12]
Got the jist of what was being talked about. Sounded like what happened to the US National Football team in the 2004 World Cup.
Funny thing is I was thinking they were talking about the English Double Dutch team not Cricket. /sarcasm
But whoever wrote this must not be a "professional" writer?
"Bell is a class act; Collingwood is a great scrapper. Yet their departure to Kyle Mills without scoring in successive overs û Bell playing across a full-ish ball and Collingwood jabbing at one û meant England declined immediately after lunch from 84-3 to 86-5 and ensured that this is yet another Test that they must contest without wresting an immediate position of authority."
I am a native US English speaker, with a history of horrible spelling and grammar abuse, whose professors would have laughed if I had tried to pass the above off as a sentence.
Slade
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Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries Atlas Alliance
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Posted - 2008.06.05 22:02:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Patch86 on 05/06/2008 22:04:56 Once you know what a double duck is, it makes sense. I'm no cricket afficianado, but I'd make the fair guess that Silver fox is the nickname of some cricketing person, and Cape town lair is probably a reference to South Africa's cricketing scene (to which Silver Fox is, presumably, related).
As to the rest: England's cricket team is always fragile, with a handful of awesome players supported by a squad of mediocrity. Presumably telling the English cricket world that the few good players are, in fact, terrible would be a bad thing. Not a good way for a team to prepare for a match. And in any case, by "questioning", the article probably means in a more serious way, as in "questioning their place on the team" kind of questioning. Form refers to being "on form" (good) or "bad form" (bad), meaning how well you are doing at something (that ones on your head btw, since thats standard English).
The article is presumably talking about the "former England coach" being tempted to make criticism (were it not for fear of etc...), while the article itself is free to destabilise away.
A "ball" is cricket terminology for what is, in baseball, a pitch. Or to be more accurate, 1 "ball" is one legal bowl of the cricket ball by the bowler at the batsman. 3 and 4 balls is pretty awful for a batsman- most manage between 30 and 100, depending on circumstances.
"Chopped and changed" would be referring to messing around with the team line up.
And a strong cup of tea is the traditional fall back of all full-blooded Englishmen in times of great stress. Honestly. No idea why, but its true. When you're really stressed, theres nothing better than a cup of milky brown nectar. I've totally been there.
Make a bit more sense now? ------
Originally by: Dark Shikari The problem with killing Jesus is he always just respawns 3 days later anyways. |
Weeman
Spartan Industries Cruel Intentions
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Posted - 2008.06.05 22:42:00 -
[14]
I'm feeling generous so will break it down for a cretin
Originally by: Imperator Jora'h - Quite what the Silver Fox in his Cape Town lair would have made of this is too frightening to contemplate.
The Silver Fox is Duncan Fletcher who after leaving the England cricket team coaching job is apparently living in South Africa, he is possibly quite angry at England's display, which is debatable because I dont think he cares now he's left
- Duncan Fletcher had complained that questioning the form of Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood had a destabilising effect on the England team.
I don't think Ian Bell is the toughest person mentally, and if people are questioning the selectors on a daily basis its no surprise certain players form suffers. They are human and read papers like the rest of us. Well the rest of us who understand THE WORDS ON A PAGE
- Well, Bell managed three balls and Collingwood four. The likelihood is that the former England coach would have looked askance at his live television feed and wandered off into the kitchen in need of a strong cup of tea.
Correct, they were abysmal. No footwork from either of them clearly suffering from confidence. Your third ball is not the time to play across the line especially when the swing is that pronounced. There are 11 year olds with more composure and batting knowledge than Ian Bell. He probably is spiking the tea and has been for some years, he had to somehow get through working with Nasser *******.
- It might be tempting to make the scathing observation that the innings offered by Collingwood and Bell were not as much double duck as Donald Duck were it not for fear of the immediate destabilising effect that might occur.
This some weird British means of backhanded criticism while maintaining the thin illusion of politeness? Correct, it's like saying "I don't want to be rude, BUT..." Furthermore the article is just DRIPPING in sarcasm. Well done for faintly noticing it. See what I did there?
- Fletcher's analysis of the pressures caused by chopping and changing has merit in general terms, but it hardly seems appropriate in this situation.
It's about consistency in team selection breeding results, it's a fair point when half your middle order isn't desperately scratching around in the middle for a paltry run and some form.
I hope this helped your feeble brain.
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Weeman
Spartan Industries Cruel Intentions
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Posted - 2008.06.05 22:49:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Slade Trillgon "Bell is a class act; Collingwood is a great scrapper. Yet their departure to Kyle Mills without scoring in successive overs û Bell playing across a full-ish ball and Collingwood jabbing at one û meant England declined immediately after lunch from 84-3 to 86-5 and ensured that this is yet another Test that they must contest without wresting an immediate position of authority."
I am a native US English speaker, with a history of horrible spelling and grammar abuse, whose professors would have laughed if I had tried to pass the above off as a sentence.
Using words unfamiliar to yourself and arranging them in a manner which is again unfamiliar to yourself does not make them wrong. As a US citizen you do not even use correct English language in the first instance. We invented it and shall do with it as we please.
For example "ensured that this is yet another Test that they must contest without wresting an immediate position of authority" - another poor display means they are not in a position to control the Test (match) from the start.
If you don't know what a word means, look it up and figure it out. What is wrong with people these days? If something isn't instantly accessible there must be something wrong with it?
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P'uck
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Posted - 2008.06.06 00:36:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Weeman We invented it and shall do with it as we please.
Languages evolve. You don't simply go from grunting to*****ney.
Errr, wait. Bad example
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