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Grak Yarn
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Posted - 2008.06.08 14:23:00 -
[1]
Grak Yarn leaned over his table and tapped a small button, bringing up the writing interface. He grabbed the holographic stylus and began to write quietly, eyes bleary.
Entry 1,
I've decided to start keeping this journal in hopes it will help me sleep. Sleep refuses to come to me these past few days. Everytime I fall asleep I see visions. Horrible, terrible visions. I see my Tribe being led in shackles, backs bowed, towards the gaping maw of an Amarrian slaver ship. I then flash my mind through the systems to Amarr, where I see a Vherokior proudly bearing the Amarr standard above him, and a legion of his fellow Vherokior behind him. All history and culture gone, warped and twisted into a...turned into Amattar. No more Tribe, no more Vherokior, just a bunch of Amattar without history or culture that respects their past. And the spirits wailling above them endlessely, circling and crying out in pain and loss.
It's been like that for days, starting just before the Starkmanir were found. There are other dreams as well, of course. I see planets being bombarded, people screaming in the streets, my family burning, turned to ash by lasers or by atomic weapons, or blown to bits by shelling, or executed by masked soldiers of indeterminate race. I mean, war isn't guranteed, yet. Even with Midular being pressured and those club-wielding brutors trying to grab for power. I just pray they are just nightmares and not visions of the future granted by the spirits.
Perhaps my wrk with the tribe has been causing them. For the past week or two i've been buying haulers and redesigning their insides for people. Six bunkbeds to a small room, with enough toilets to service that amount of people and then some. Compacting the crew and officer quarters granted further space. I've liasoned with several local leaders to set up evacuation centers, and made very clear the priority of people who get on board. Children first, then their families, and finally unmarried adults. Its tough, but if war comes I want the children safe and sound in Heimatar rather then being enslaved alongside their families.
Grak paused a moment and closed his eyes, clenching and unclenching his fist. He goes back to writing, furiously now, after a few seconds of repeating the action.
Damn them. Damn the other tribes to slavery and hell and everything else! They flourish, we wither! They have the gall to say "do it yourself" while they sit behind the Republic Fleet! They leave us to die and be enslaved in Molden Heath while they sit safe and secure in Heimatar and Metropolis! Im so tired of hearing about Brutor and Sebiestor superiority. Cultural, intelligence, physical prowress, even business! All my life i've been force fed the fact that im supposed to be inferior, from my own race! Sebiestors and Brutor hold all the power for themselves and refuse to give an inch! Even in the recent news from parliament, alI hear is Brutors and Sebiestors bickering. No news from the other tribes! No news about the Vherokior politicians and MP's, or even the Krusual. Its as if some outside force refuses to acknowledge my tribes excistence.
He pauses again and looks over at a chronometer hanging on the wall.
The morning cycle is coming up. Another sleepless night.
Grak saved and closed the program out, standing up and grabbing his staff from where it leaned against the wall. He squared his shoulders, set his filter on his face, and headed out.
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Grak Yarn
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Posted - 2008.06.10 01:52:00 -
[2]
Grak tapped on the console, waking it up and moving to select the written text feature. He grabbed the holographic stylus and sat back for a moment, thinking.
Entry 2,
Well, IĘve done all I can for now. There is no guarantee it will be enough, but its what I can do. Haulers in every Vherokior station redesigned to carry people specifically, with enough food supplies to feed them long enough to run into Heimatar. Hopefully. Assuming the Amarrians or the UshraĘKahn or the various Capsuleering pilots donĘt blow them out of the sky for being there.
He pauses at this point and purses his lips behind his filter.
Growing up, I saw the Capsuleers as a shining beacon of light. These demi-gods roamed the stars, trading and fighting the enemies of my people, mining rare and precious ores, being all around good productive folks who look out for our interest. I even met a few of the Republic Fleet ones who stayed at my parents hotel. But now that I am a Capsuleer I can see them for what they really are.
A Capsuleer is a nihilistic, narcissistic, greedy, uncaring person who gives a damn only about themselves, and no one else. Of course thatĘs in general. IĘve met a few who seem genuinely concerned with others, but they are a rare group and the majority tends to ostracize them. Being part of that group I have to admit, having my dreams and ideas about what they are shattered was a pill to swallow, but dreams are meant to be broken I suppose. Most capsuleers also tend to be unable to let go of the past, dragging up ancient and stupid grudges for an excuse to shed more blood. I thought EM was a progressive group until I really got to know them. I wouldnĘt put them as bad as the UshraĘKahn, but stilląvery disappointing.
Anyway, onto whatĘs been happening today. Besides the normal news, which is as always full of bad things, I told my Ex-wife to not bring Skyra out for my few days. IĘm worried that while sheĘs out here, something bad will happen and sheĘll be hurt. I refuse to let that happen.
Grak pauses once again, looking to a small holopicture on his desk, showing a smiling little Vherokior girl about four years old. He turns back to his writing with a measured weariness.
It wouldnĘt be so bad, but IĘm almost as scared of the other tribes as I am of the Amarr. The Brutor, quite frankly, scare the living daylights out of me, but not in the way that some would think. I am scared because I believe they will lead to the downfall of the Republic as a legitimate entity in the cluster, and will make us into being nothing more then a large nation of raider pilots. They have no respect for anyone who isnĘt big and knows how to hit things. The doctors, the lawyers, the diplomats, those of us who believe that violence is not the first answer to every problem. I have to wonder what will happen to us if the Brutor take over. My tribe are not a war like people. What place will we have in a society based around war? Perhaps I should approach the Elders and speak to them about separating from the Republic, if it comes down to itą
Two and Three are examples of the Vherokior warrior. Many people look down on us because we do not pursue the warlike arts with an idiotic glee, but they just donĘt understandąMy shaman once told me ōThe Vherokior do not do anything half-hearted. We may have few warriors, but our warriors are the fiercest in the tribes. Our scientist are the most inquisitive and forward thinking. Our teachers completely dedicated to the passing on of knowledge. Why do you think so many Shamans hail from our tribe? When a Vherokior believes in something, no one can match their ferocity in following it.ö. IĘve mused on it often, but looking around the Vherokior Tribe Treasury, I believe him. Two and Three are just one example in a sea of them.
The double dose of sleeping aides I took seem to be kicking in.
He stands, turns off the console, and slumps into sleep without undressing. |
Grak Yarn
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Posted - 2008.06.12 01:21:00 -
[3]
Entry 3,
Its begun. Fire and hell, I can hear the spirits screaming. The haulers are away, their cargo aboard, into the heart of the Republic. I hope its enough. Spirits watch over all who die....
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Grak Yarn
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Posted - 2008.06.12 10:36:00 -
[4]
Edited by: Grak Yarn on 12/06/2008 10:36:10
Grak sits down, looking more refreshed then he has in sometime. He starts up his journal program and reads over his last entry before shaking his head and grabbing the stylus.
Entry 4,
So. Despite my previous fear, the Amarr did not strike a lightning offensive into the Republic from Amattar space. I suppose having a fleet show up above Sarum Prime may have distracted them a bit.
Yes indeed...the fleet of "Elders". People celebrate in the streets the return of the Elders, but I feel a darkness upon my soul. The Elders haven't been seen in over a thousand years. Where have they been? Why now? Why did they come back and lead us into war? What about the Amattar Nefenter on both sides? Where were they during the Rebellion? And...do they really have the right to lead us anymore? Should we submit because of their bloodline? Is that any different then the Amarr? "Submit because we are us". I suppose I'll have to wait and see what they do. If they demand to lead the republic, my suspicions will grow even deeper.
Well, I met an interesting Amarrian. A miss Andraste. She is interested in the Vherokior. I'm respectfully suspicious. I dont want to hurt my chances of having someone good help the tribe but frankly, barely any Minmitar capsuleers give a flying fedo about my Tribe, and an Amarrian shows deep interest in our culture and mysticism? Once again, I suppose I will have to wait and see.
He pauses for a moment, then nods.
Oh, sleep has also come to me. The Dreams haven't changed but now that they are confirmed my sleep is less disturbed.
Grak reads it over once before standing and saving, moving to head out into the well lit compound gardens. |
Ravin Abai
Cruoris Seraphim
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Posted - 2008.06.12 14:24:00 -
[5]
A good read. Definately a rather unexplored perspective.  / |
Uilliam Nebel
24th Imperial Crusade
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Posted - 2008.06.14 00:17:00 -
[6]
Great read, look forward to seeing more as you continue writing Grak.
/
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do." - Confucius, Chinese philosopher & reformer (551 BC - 479 BC.) |
Grak Yarn
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Posted - 2008.06.21 02:49:00 -
[7]
Grak sat and opened up the program that allowed him to write, licking the holographic stylus for good measure and getting a slight shock out of it.
Entry 4,
Welląits been a strange week. Wednesday night, shortly before I normally wake up, I was summoned by the local Shamans into the bowels of the station. I followed the directions, and when I got down their I found seven of them, all bearing the mark of the shaman on their forms, stripped down to their skivvies. They stood in a circle, in the center of which lied a coffin like metal container, looking big enough for two men. Without a word or movement the topped open, I stripped, and stepped in. It was a isolation pod. I was in their for almost five days. I sawąI cannot describe. Everything. Nothing. The final test of spirit. It was incredible.
He paused, savoring the amazing memory etched into his mind and hearing the voices around him.
Anyway, after getting out, I ended up speaking a bit about the so called Elders everyoneĘs been shouting and cheering about lately, and its sparked quite a debate. Some of the replies are stupid. Most seem to have gone completely off topic. But it least it made people think, which was the whole point.
Coming out of the isolation pod and into the capsule, I found some things rather changed. Nebel, my greatest friendąheĘs changed. A lot. HeĘs totally closed off. HeĘs got a sick spirit but he refuses to try and fix it, focusing on fighting in this stupid crusade. Damn it all. My best friend out here, IĘm gone for a week, and he turns intoąintoąnot my best friend. Something happened to him. Something bad. Or someone he loved. Damn it.
At this point he bowed his head, hand closing into a fist and eyes closing tight. After a few moments he tried to relax again.
Anyway, what elseąoh yes, people have been mistaking my beliefs for those of an anti-republican. I try to explain it but they just donĘt get it. I want people in power who can be removed, who wont lead to an oligarchy, who really want to help our people, who are willing to negotiate, who understand war, and politics, and diplomacy, and economics. A guy today told me about how maybe a more CEP type system would work, and it makes sense. Less favoritism, more equality, and if anyone threatens the tribes they can come together and smash people. Not to mention the individual tribes would be more or less up to their stuff without the others interfering.
He paused here, once again, and thought. He scratched the side of his head with his hand and then leaned over to write.
I miss my daughter. I hope sheĘs alright. I havenĘt been able to talk to her as much as I would have liked to lately.
He saved, closed, and stood up, heading for his bed and making double sure his door was locked.
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Grak Yarn
Minmatar
13th Udorian Rangers
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Posted - 2008.08.01 19:55:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Grak Yarn on 01/08/2008 19:56:59
Grak looked quietly at the little room that ran off his compound. It had been his home pretty much since he had graduated, and now he would be leaving it. He moved over to the little desk with his daughters picture, looking at her smiling face a moment before picking the little holo display up and turning it off, tucking it into his travel bag. He sat down at the table and opened up the writing program, looking distant for a few moments.
Entry 6,
Well. IĘm leaving the Republic. Quietly. I thought about joining Electus Matari again butą.Some of their policies, and some of the people in there, I just canĘt bring myself to compromise my beliefs. But Nebel, Nebels started a new corp. One not associated with the crusade. The Thirteenth Udorian Rangers. And he says I can join, with a recommendation, which I have two of. So thatĘs good. I know its not going to be long before the shouts of blood traitor start arising but, you know, I just canĘt deal with the Republic anymore.
Pauses a bit, thinking quietly.
I donĘt like lying to Nebel though. I promised I wouldnĘt be breaking any Imperial laws and that I wouldnĘt be practicing my religion but not a chance. IĘve got work to do. Those Brutor and others can shoot all they want, but I understand that it takes more then force of arms to win a conflict like this one. Infiltration, subterfuge, blackmail, negotiations, cloak-and-daggerą.I can do these things. And plan to. Even if Nebel can never know about them.
I'm giving up everything for this. Im not sure i'll ever see my daughter again. But whats personal isn't the same as whats important.
For the Tribe.
A ruthless grin appeared for a moment.
I come for my people
The grin turned to a sad smile and he pulled the memory core out of the panel after saving up the document, looking once more around his stripped bare room. With not a glance back he walked out of the door.
______________________________________________
No expansion without equilibrium, no conquest without control. Pursue success in serenity, and service to the people. |
Grak Yarn
Minmatar
13th Udorian Rangers
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Posted - 2008.08.01 22:03:00 -
[9]
Grak looked at the unfamiliar control scheme. Seated in front of the little desk workstation in his small Amarrian suite. He tentatively touched a button and got the menu to come up. Once he had gotten past this hurdle, opening up the proper programs was a synch. The Amarrian were really into these personal journals written like they were on old fashioned paper things. He grabbed the stylus and began to write.
Entry 7,
My first entry from Amarr space. Tash-Murkon Prime, to be exact. IĘve got settled in, Nebel and I have already tore up a local bar, and the locals havenĘt lynched me yet. Things are looking up. Amarr space is very different. Much more closed, for one thing.
He looked down at his outfit briefly. It consisted of a long brown cloth sleeveless vest left open, with no undershirt, a tribal necklace, brown shorts and a pair of sandals. Tribal markings ran up and down his body, a continuation of the ones starting on his face.
Nebel suggested I might want to look into changing my wardrobe to one of those stuffy robes, but I say no way. I am not an Amarrian, I am a Free Matari, and they need to remember their job isnĘt to turn people into Amarrians, its to turn people into god worshippers. Ah wellą
He thinks for a few moments
Shern is doing welląI still love her. I still canĘt ever have her, in anyway excepting friendship. But I suppose thatĘs just how things go. I also miss Two and Three, but I forbade them from coming with me, whether they liked it or not. They need to stay behind andątake care of the assignment I gave them.
Grak read it over a bit, and nodded, saving it up. He was tired, but he had things to do. The trip had been long and uneventful, and he had created several things that he could never allow to see the light of day. He switched over to another program on the machine and began deleting things, making sure to go deep into the Amarrians datanets to make sure no trace of them were ever found.
______________________________________________
No expansion without equilibrium, no conquest without control. Pursue success in serenity, and service to the people. |
Grak Yarn
Minmatar
13th Udorian Rangers
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Posted - 2008.08.01 23:46:00 -
[10]
Grak walked through the door and set down his little case of ingredients. He sat down in front of his workstation and stared at the wall for a few minutes. He didnĘt move to turn it on, for it was already on. After sitting there for a good half hour, staring into something beyond the wall, he picked up the stylus and began to write.
Well, I helped Shern. As I suspected for some time, and how I believe she knew, her familiar spirit had become corrupted and twistedąif IĘm right, by the anger and fear she felt. It had its grip in her good, and it was big, and mean, and totally focused on her.
He pauses.
I believe Shern may be a shaman. I'm not sure. The signs are there. I dont know. Anyway, she beat it though. IĘm not sure if she understood that I was trying to get her to calm down the whole time, even with pretending to be weakened and creating that little staff. Whether or not it worked, she seems much more at ease, much happier. And her children were born. Two beautiful children.
He stares at the wall, misty eyed.
She and Kig should be very happy. HeĘs a lucky man and sheĘs an amazing woman, and they are beautiful children. And IĘm slated to do their Voluval when that time comes around. I look forward to it.
He stirs from his misty eyed stupor.
Speaking of which, the things IĘve been doing have already start to pay off. Improved living conditions for slaves is just the tip of the iceberg. Buying up slaves, freeing slaves, and, I think most importantly, IĘve been secretly educating the slaves. Besides all this, IĘve been selling information to the Minmatar on fleets of the 24th Imperial Crusade. Only one man knows what im doing, and heĘs the only one who will ever know, if things go right. Damn it its dangerous but its worth it, and no one will be able to read this diary since its on a non-connected memory cell thatĘs hidden in the workstation, and it auto-destroys if anyone fails the password. Im a mean sneaky man, but security precautions are important.
He stops and thinks a bit. It felt good to get all that off his chest. Liberating.
Oh, Nebel says thereĘs something we may need to take care of out the pod, something for Tash-Murkon. DonĘt know what yet.
He nods, saves and shutdowns the program, opening up his private comm channel straight to Uilliam Nebel, waiting quietly as it rang.
______________________________________________
No expansion without equilibrium, no conquest without control. Pursue success in serenity, and service to the people. |
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Grak Yarn
Minmatar
13th Udorian Rangers
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Posted - 2008.08.05 04:02:00 -
[11]
Grak sat down with unusual heaviness today, going through the motions. It had been a strange day and his mind was trying to get it all in line, so he could think straight. He began to write, finally seeming to focus.
Entry 9,
Its been a very strange day. It started out normal enough. Got up, had breakfast, noticed Nebel was still sleeping it off, whatever it is he sleeps off. I went through the motions, had to kill a bunch of pirates who refused to surrender (Oh, why do they never surrender). But the strange thing didnĘt really happen till the end. But it made the whole day seem surreal.
Nico took me to this bar, out in low-security, hell of a place. Called ōThe Last Gateō. Anyway, miss Jennifer Starfall was there.
A pause. He thinks about things for a moment, eyes darting.
It is hard to show, in words, what it is like, to see both sides of the universe at the same timeąto stare into the abyss, and have the abyss stare back, to look upon the spirit and souls, and the familiars, of people, even as I see their mortal bodies. But hers is so unique, like a spot of hurt on the universe, a child cast out unto the mean streets to fend for herself, called failure by her father and creator, disowned, looking only for love and acceptance. She demanded to know why I thought that inside she was really a good person, even if she thought of herself as bad one, or something, she was very emotional about it. So I explained that I saw things differently, because of the shaman thing, and she asked what it was I saw in herą
He stops writing, looking into the nothing once more, golden eyes glimmering even in the dim light.
And I told her. She cried over it. I didnĘt want to hurt her but, then, she launched herself at me and kissed me. I was expecting a punch, I wouldĘve dodged a punch, but, she kissed me. And I got to see her eyes, so beautiful. Her lips so soft. Anyway, I really want to get to know her more, even more so then before. So im going back to the bar, even though it scares the crap out of me, what with being filled with men and women who would probably like to tear out my guts. I know they probably donĘt mean it deep down, but still. It can be unnerving.
Another pause. He considers everything, and looks over what he's written. With a nod he saves the program and shuts down the console, finding his way in the dark by memory, ready for sleep
______________________________________________
No expansion without equilibrium, no conquest without control. Pursue success in serenity, and service to the people. |
Grak Yarn
Minmatar
13th Udorian Rangers
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Posted - 2008.08.06 00:27:00 -
[12]
Grak toweled off his hair, making sure to get all the cold water he had on him off. It would do him no good to catch a cold just because he had desperately needed a cold shower. He set the towel on the rack and pulled on some underpants, moving to sit in front of the computer terminal, setting it to auto-open the journal program. He grabbed the stylus and began writing, moving his hair out of his way.
Entry 10,
Well, today felt a bit more normal. Sortof. I went to the Last Gate, just like I said a would, and hung around till Jennifer showed up. Apparently after combat she feels very frisky, and she sat their staring at me until she got the chance or courage or something to kiss me, and it was a good kiss. And IĘd like to get her alone so I could learn about her without having all those people watching, just a private affair, so I offered to cook for her. I have no idea what in the hell IĘm going to cook, but itleast I know itĘll be good no matter what it is. I thank my spirits and my father every day that my parents owned a business that relied on good service and good food.
He smiles to himself.
IĘm thinking shrimp and beef with mixed vegetables, maybe a very light glaze sauce. Nothing overpowering or overcomplicated, but yummy in either case.
He pauses.
No, wait, IĘll just bring a bit of everything and ask if she canĘt or wont eat anything. I donĘt even know if sheĘs a vegetarian. So much to learn. But shrimp, beef, and mixed vegetables is the plan if it can be.
He thinks for a bit, tapping the side of his cheek. He took a glance at the clock, at his daughters face, and saved and shut down the program, stumbling for bed.
______________________________________________
No expansion without equilibrium, no conquest without control. Pursue success in serenity, and service to the people. |
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