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Amarrian Cougar
Amarr
TalCorp Enterprises
Einherjar Alliance
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Posted - 2008.07.08 20:11:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Amarrian Cougar on 08/07/2008 20:12:39
So I stopped at a pleasure hub deep in Gallente space a few weeks ago and had some fun with one of the Serpentis love girl slaves. Even though this is against my Amarrian values, I like to look at it as a "I'm not in Amarr space and what happens in a Serpentis Pleasure Hub stays in a Serpentis Pleasure Hub" or maybe even a "becoming a heretic to better understand heretics in order to kill heretics" type situation. Either way, that slave girl could do things with her one good arm that would make you forget about that thing on her neck! On the downside my entire body is now itching uncontrollably and I have a bulging growth on my groin.
Now you would say, yeah you got what you deserved and all, but seriously, as a pod pilot this is unacceptable. I sit in my pod flying my ship, itching all over the place. I itch so bad that my brain starts trying to scratch itself in my mind, which in turn causes my ship to deviate from planned flight plans quite erratically. The buldge as also started to manifest itself on my hull, which before now I would have thought to be impossible. This bulge is on the aft section on the portside and is becoming rather large. More disturbingly, it has ruptured a numerous occasions and my cleaning fedos are literally being sucked out of my ship through the hole. Do you have any idea how much capaciter it takes run my armor reps 24/7 to plug a bulging hole, especially during a battle where I'm already taking damage as it is? Not pretty. Sadly, I've even had to leave battles out of shame because the enemy pilots were laughing at my "fedo leaking bulge".
The worst part of this all however is the fact that my clone was not updated because I spent the money for the clone on Bertha the slave girl. So now, if I update my clone, my clone will inherit this venereal disease. Another disappointing aspect is the fact that I cannot return home because my uncleanliness will be an obvious red flag to my superiors that I have been engaging in immoral acts. Ohh man, I am so screwed.
I guess what I'm getting at is,
WTB Venereal Disease Specialized Doctor.
WTS Slightly damaged Harbinger.
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Garion Avarr
Amarr
Zero Zero Traders
YTMND.
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Posted - 2008.07.08 20:23:00 -
[2]
 Originally by: Amarrian Cougar
I like to look at it as a "I'm not in Amarr space and what happens in a Serpentis Pleasure Hub stays in a Serpentis Pleasure Hub"
Well, it certainly should. Not so much wrong with it if you keep it private.
So next time, please do keep it private.
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This is not a signature. |
Remus Navillum
z3r0 Gravity
Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2008.07.08 21:03:00 -
[3]
...I... I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
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Stitcher
Caldari
Duty.
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Posted - 2008.07.08 21:31:00 -
[4]
Thanks for sharing. Next time, please don't.
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Lt. Verin "Stitcher" Tarn-Hakatain. |
Kora Bequin
Strix Armaments and Defence
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Posted - 2008.07.09 01:09:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Kora Bequin on 09/07/2008 01:10:03
There are things that are to be shared. This is not one of them.
Sounds like a bad case of rogue nanite infestation, by the way. See a mechanic, not a doctor.
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Rawr Cristina
Caldari
Omerta Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.07.09 01:25:00 -
[6]
That's what you get for having such filthy taste. I would suggest you fly that Harbinger of yours into the nearest Star and jump back to an outdated clone.
...
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Esna Pitoojee
Amarr
Heavily Utilized Mechanic Mayhem
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Posted - 2008.07.09 01:57:00 -
[7]
I hate to do this to a fellow alliance-mate, but Cougar, please keep that Harbinger away from me until you get this... whatever... dealt with. The last thing I need is another reason for the Amarrian authorities to exile me from thier space, and God knows, they are looking for one.
But keep the Harbinger (or at least some camera-drone photos of it) when you do fix this issue - I suspect the Jovians - or maybe some Rogue Drone researchers, if this is a nanite infestation as was suggested - are going to want to look at this.
By the way, have you tried creating a jump clone from pre-stored genetic stock and the jumping to it? You should be able to retain all of your memories, but the whatever(s) shouldn't be taken along when you clone jump.
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Say "Amarr ships suk, lol." I dare you.
My statments do not represent the opinions, views, or actions of my corp. |
Odre Echee
Equestrian Knight Order of Lolicon
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Posted - 2008.07.09 02:21:00 -
[8]
That "Serpentis Love Girl" was, in truth, a Minmatar spy, and have given you a rather bad case of Minmatar Acquired Immuno-deficiency Syndrome. "MAIDS" for short.
It's incurable, I'm afraid, but there is treatment.
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Taradis
Amarr
The Imperial Assassins
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Posted - 2008.07.09 08:27:00 -
[9]
Well serves u right for getting with a slave girl named Bertha that should have thrown up red flags everywhere even in ur harbinger. That's just nasty good luck with that. I doubt anyone wants the gift that keeps on giving 
I would go see a Gal specialist or a Mechanic of somesort
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Rakk Ashari
Gallente
Merch Industrial
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Posted - 2008.07.09 11:51:00 -
[10]
To hell with seeing a doctor or mechanic. Just self destruct that thing in some god-forsaken corner of space and grow a clone from a genetic backup!
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Aria Jenneth
Caldari
Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.07.09 14:24:00 -
[11]
Considering, well, many things, pilots, I'm absolutely certain that this is a joke....
I'm hoping that most of you, despite your responses, actually realized that.
Anyhow, Mr. Cougar, on the off chance that this is based, in some small degree, on an actual incident, you might want to try patronizing an Angel facility next time. The Serpentis are superb smugglers, but human trafficking isn't their strong suite.
Ghost Festival is recruiting! |
Zekarus
Caldari
MAIDS
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Posted - 2008.07.09 17:28:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Aria Jenneth
Considering, well, many things, pilots, I'm absolutely certain that this is a joke....
I'm hoping that most of you, despite your responses, actually realized that.
Anyhow, Mr. Cougar, on the off chance that this is based, in some small degree, on an actual incident, you might want to try patronizing an Angel facility next time. The Serpentis are superb smugglers, but human trafficking isn't their strong suite.
I also hear Sansha also has some outstanding... bodies per se.
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MAIDS. Now with black, frilly uniforms. |
Natalcya Katla
Naqam
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Posted - 2008.07.09 19:11:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Zekarus
I also hear Sansha also has some outstanding... bodies per se.
I doubt you would find many prostitutes in the Nation. It's not a place for cheap thrills and fleeting pleasure, but a place to nurture long, committed relationships and live happily ever after.
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Odre Echee
Equestrian Knight Order of Lolicon
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Posted - 2008.07.09 19:14:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Natalcya Katla
I doubt you would find many prostitutes in the Nation. It's not a place for cheap thrills and fleeting pleasure, but a place to nurture long, committed relationships and live happily ever after.
No, I did not expect there to be many - if any at all - prostitutes in the Nation. I still do find humor in this, however.
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