Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
|
Posted - 2008.08.26 03:55:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Akita T on 26/08/2008 04:06:15
Q : What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito ? A : You can't cross a scalar with a vector.
You need to speak it out loud
Q : What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra? A : Elephant zebra sin theta in a direction mutually perpendicular to the two as determined by the right hand rule.
Q : Why was Heisenberg's wife unsatisfied? A : When he had the time he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender says, "For you, no charge."
Following the Great Flood, Noah lets the animals out of the ark and gives them the command, "Go forth and multiply!". Some time later, he goes about checking on them and is pleased to see that they have followed his command - chicks, foals, cubs, pups and other baby animals abound. Except for the snakes - no offspring to be found Noah inquires why they haven't multiplied? To which the snakes reply, "We can't. We're adders.". Noah is bothered by this, and takes compassion on the snakes. What can he give them? Finally he saws some sections of logs and makes some furniture for them. More time passes, and Noah again visits the snakes. Baby snakes everywhere! Noah is pleased, but confused. "I thought you said you couldn't do this?", he remarks. The snakes smile and reply, "Oh, it's much better since you gave us those log tables!".
Q: What's the contour integral of Western Europe? A: Zero. The poles are in Eastern Europe.
A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the question as to whether it is better to have a wife or a mistress. The lawyer explained, "With a divorce as costly as it is, it is far better to have a mistress.". The doctor responded, "No, to avoid possible exposure to sexually transmitted diseases, it is necessary to enter into a monogamous relationship with one woman, your wife.". The mathematician reflected on those answers for a moment, then cleared his throat and commented, "No. Both of you are wrong. It is best to have both a wife and a mistress. That way, when your wife thinks you are with your mistress, and your mistress thinks you are with your wife, you can go to the office and do mathematics!".
Q : Why is simplifying a fraction like powdering your nose? A : It improves the appearance without changing the value.
Q : Why is math a violent subject? A : Because it has mean values, cross products and warring fractions.
Q : How do you tell that you are in the hands of the Mathematical Mafia? A : They make you an offer that you can't understand.
Q : If only you and dead people can read hexadecimal, how many people can read hexadecimal? A : 51006 hex(DEAD)=dec(51005)
Q : What did Pythagoras say when he was confronted by the square root of 2? A : There has to be a rational explanation for this...
_
SHOPS || Mission rewards revamp || better nanofix
|