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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Last Wolf
Umbra Wing
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Posted - 2008.10.02 20:38:00 -
[61]
Two strangers are sitting next to each other in a plane, one is a man the other is a woman.
The plane suddenly starts losing altitude, The captain comes on the overhead and says "We're going down, brace yourselves for a rough landing"
The Woman turns to the man and says "I don't want to die yet!!" she rips off her shirt and screams "Make me feel like a woman one last time!!!"
The man, without any hesitation, rips off his own shirt holds it out to her and screams...
"IRON THIS!!!" __________________________________________________________
Originally by: Liang Nuren wrong forum isroy i am vjery drunm
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Micheal Dietrich
Caldari Terradyne Networks
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Posted - 2008.10.02 20:50:00 -
[62]
Originally by: Last Wolf Two strangers are sitting next to each other in a plane, one is a man the other is a woman.
The plane suddenly starts losing altitude, The captain comes on the overhead and says "We're going down, brace yourselves for a rough landing"
The Woman turns to the man and says "I don't want to die yet!!" she rips off her shirt and screams "Make me feel like a woman one last time!!!"
The man, without any hesitation, rips off his own shirt holds it out to her and screams...
"IRON THIS!!!"
that got a laugh
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Elysarian
Minmatar dudetruck corp
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Posted - 2008.10.02 22:39:00 -
[63]
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No Idea...
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!
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Elysarian
Minmatar dudetruck corp
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Posted - 2008.10.02 22:40:00 -
[64]
And... while I'm here,
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat mate!
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Micheal Dietrich
Caldari Terradyne Networks
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Posted - 2008.10.02 22:48:00 -
[65]
Fred shows up at the bar one night to hang with his friend Tom. As Fred walks in he see's 2 very fine ladies sitting at a table to his right checking him out. One lady leans over to the other and says 'nine'.
Feeling very proud Fred walks over to his buddy Tom and says 'Hey man, those chicks just rated me a nine!'
Tom reply's 'I wouldn't get to excited. When I came in they were speaking German.'
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Rudolfus
Macabre Votum Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2008.10.02 23:43:00 -
[66]
A three legged cat walks into a bar and says...
I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw.
Please resize image to a maximum of 400 x 120, not exceeding 24000 bytes, ty. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] - Cortes |
Alex Raptos
Caldari The Firestorm Millennium
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Posted - 2008.10.02 23:48:00 -
[67]
Originally by: Agent Darko Two apples, in an oven.
One apple turns to the other and says,
"Sure is hot in here, isn't it?"
The other apple,
"Holy shit, a talking apple!"
Its muffin -.-
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Last Wolf
Umbra Wing
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Posted - 2008.10.03 00:18:00 -
[68]
Originally by: Micheal Dietrich Fred shows up at the bar one night to hang with his friend Tom. As Fred walks in he see's 2 very fine ladies sitting at a table to his right checking him out. One lady leans over to the other and says 'nine'.
Feeling very proud Fred walks over to his buddy Tom and says 'Hey man, those chicks just rated me a nine!'
Tom reply's 'I wouldn't get to excited. When I came in they were speaking German.'
I don't get it __________________________________________________________
Originally by: Liang Nuren wrong forum isroy i am vjery drunm
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Baldour Ngarr
Interwarp Plexus Controlled Chaos
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Posted - 2008.10.03 01:29:00 -
[69]
Originally by: Last Wolf
Originally by: Micheal Dietrich Fred shows up at the bar one night to hang with his friend Tom. As Fred walks in he see's 2 very fine ladies sitting at a table to his right checking him out. One lady leans over to the other and says 'nine'.
Feeling very proud Fred walks over to his buddy Tom and says 'Hey man, those chicks just rated me a nine!'
Tom reply's 'I wouldn't get to excited. When I came in they were speaking German.'
I don't get it
Nein (pronounced "nine") - German for "no." ________________________________________________
"I tried strip mining, but I lost, and it's cold flying around in space naked." |
Micheal Dietrich
Caldari Terradyne Networks
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Posted - 2008.10.03 01:47:00 -
[70]
Originally by: Baldour Ngarr
Originally by: Last Wolf
Originally by: Micheal Dietrich Fred shows up at the bar one night to hang with his friend Tom. As Fred walks in he see's 2 very fine ladies sitting at a table to his right checking him out. One lady leans over to the other and says 'nine'.
Feeling very proud Fred walks over to his buddy Tom and says 'Hey man, those chicks just rated me a nine!'
Tom reply's 'I wouldn't get to excited. When I came in they were speaking German.'
I don't get it
Nein (pronounced "nine") - German for "no."
My German teacher told us that one.
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Dantes Revenge
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.10.03 16:44:00 -
[71]
Jim and Edna are mental patients. One day jim jumps into the pool and sinks to the bottom. After he's been there some time and it's obvious he is drowning, Edna jumps in and drags him out, saving him.
The next day, the manager of the institution calls Edna in and tells her, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we are releasing you since you have shown that you are sane by saving a drowning man. The bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom.
Edna looks at him confused. "He didn't hang himself in the bathroom, I hung him there to dry out."
-- There's a simple difference between kinky and perverted. Kinky is using a feather to get her in the mood. Perverted is using the whole chicken. |
Neamus
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Posted - 2008.10.03 20:20:00 -
[72]
Originally by: Last Wolf Two strangers are sitting next to each other in a plane, one is a man the other is a woman.
The plane suddenly starts losing altitude, The captain comes on the overhead and says "We're going down, brace yourselves for a rough landing"
The Woman turns to the man and says "I don't want to die yet!!" she rips off her shirt and screams "Make me feel like a woman one last time!!!"
The man, without any hesitation, rips off his own shirt holds it out to her and screams...
"IRON THIS!!!"
I try not to be sexist, I really do.. But this made me lol hard!
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Sharupak
Minmatar Brutor tribe
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Posted - 2008.10.04 01:10:00 -
[73]
Edited by: Sharupak on 04/10/2008 01:11:13 Crap Joke |
Rudolfus
Macabre Votum Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2008.10.04 02:06:00 -
[74]
One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attacked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one type of fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
Please resize image to a maximum of 400 x 120, not exceeding 24000 bytes, ty. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] - Cortes |
Terianna Eri
Amarr Scrutari
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Posted - 2008.10.04 03:58:00 -
[75]
So, three men are wandering through the jungle - an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Scotsman.
Suddenly, they are ambushed by a tribe of murderous cannibals, the leader of which - obviously - speaks english.
The three men are captured and tied up, and the leader approaches them and says "Right, so, we're going to kill you, skin you, and eat you, and then we're going to turn your skin into a canoe. But before we do that, each of you gets one last request." He turns to the Englishman first.
"Sir, do you have a last request?" he says. "Yes I do; I would like a knife," the Englishman replies. So the cannibals get him a knife and he slits his throat, saying "For my Queen!"
So the cannibals untie him, skin him, eat him, turn his skin into a canoe and paddle around and have a jolly good time.
The leader then turns to the Frenchman.
"Sir, do you have a last request?" he says. "Yes I do; I would like a knife," the Frenchman replies. So the cannibals get him a knife and he slits his throat, saying "For my country!"
So the cannibals untie him, skin him, eat him, turn his skin into a canoe and paddle around and have a jolly good time.
The leader then turns to the Scotsman.
"Sir, do you have a last request?" he says. "Yes I do; I would like a fork," the Scotsman replies. So the cannibals think this is a little odd, but go and get him a fork anyway, at which point...
The Scotsman sticks himself with the fork in the chest over and over again, and yells "Screw your canoes!!!"
fin __________________________________
Originally by: Arthur Frayn How much to ruin all your holes, luv?
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Vabjekf
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Posted - 2008.10.04 06:53:00 -
[76]
Following is a real live conversation I had today.
Them: Have you seen mothballs?
Me: sure
Them: How did you get the tiny legs apart?
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Raymond Sterns
Utopian Research I.E.L. The ENTITY.
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Posted - 2008.10.04 07:12:00 -
[77]
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you want to hear a blond joke?".
Then the bartender says, "Look pal, most of the people here are blond, are you sure you want to do that?"
Then the man says, "Hmmm, maybe not. I don't feel like explaining it 20 times."
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Brock Nelson
Caldari Flux Technologies Inc
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Posted - 2008.10.04 07:47:00 -
[78]
An oldie
A magician is running his daily show aboard a cruise ship. However, the captain always attend the show with his parrot. The parrot would reveal the magician's trick;
"BAWK! It went in his sleeves" "BAWK! It went in his pocket" "BAWK! It went in his hat"
After awhile, the magician was sick of the parrot and took out a pistol and took a shot at the parrot. The parrot ducked and the bullet hit a propane tank behind the bird and blew the ship to billion of pieces.
The magician and the parrot were the lone survivor; hanging on for their dear life on a debris.
The parrot went: "Alright, I give up; where did you hide the damn ship?"
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Iris Palere
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Posted - 2008.10.04 18:23:00 -
[79]
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff,
Ba-dum-Tschhh.
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Akiba Penrose
The Movement
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Posted - 2008.10.04 18:32:00 -
[80]
The Polish test for virginity
Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding... "I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not." His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!" |
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Kazuo Ishiguro
House of Marbles Zzz
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Posted - 2008.10.04 22:16:00 -
[81]
A bear walks into a bar, and says: "A pint of ale...
...and a packet of crisps,"
"Why the big pause?" --- DIY copying in Liekuri 20:1 mineral compression Eve Online folding@home team |
Jana Clant
New Dawn Corp New Eden Research
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Posted - 2008.10.04 23:50:00 -
[82]
Originally by: Brock Nelson An oldie
A magician is running his daily show aboard a cruise ship. However, the captain always attend the show with his parrot. The parrot would reveal the magician's trick;
"BAWK! It went in his sleeves" "BAWK! It went in his pocket" "BAWK! It went in his hat"
After awhile, the magician was sick of the parrot and took out a pistol and took a shot at the parrot. The parrot ducked and the bullet hit a propane tank behind the bird and blew the ship to billion of pieces.
The magician and the parrot were the lone survivor; hanging on for their dear life on a debris.
The parrot went: "Alright, I give up; where did you hide the damn ship?"
I lol'd at this one.
Join New Eden Research today and never worry about queues again!
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HankMurphy
Minmatar Pelennor Enterprises
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Posted - 2008.10.05 05:49:00 -
[83]
Originally by: Woodwraith Whats the difference between barnum and baileys circus and the rockettes?
the circus is a cunning array of stunts.
Whats the difference between a farmer with tourettes and a hooker with dysentery?
Ones a shucker with the fits
------------------------------ everybody be cool this is a threadjack! just lay face down on the ground and no one will get hurt! |
Brisco County
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2008.10.05 08:07:00 -
[84]
You hear about the kid whose Dad caught him jerkin' off in the bathroom?
His Dad yelled at him "That shit'll make you blind, son!"
Kid waves and says "Hey, I'm over here, Dad."
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Brisco County
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2008.10.05 08:14:00 -
[85]
Originally by: Woodwraith Whats the difference between barnum and baileys circus and the rockettes?
the circus is a cunning array of stunts.
Nightmare mode: have 6 beers and then tell it to the cutest chick at the bar without getting punched in the face because you botched it.
What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team?
Well, one's a pack of cunning runts...
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EnslaverOfMinmatar
Yarsk Hunters DeaDSpace Coalition
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Posted - 2008.10.07 00:09:00 -
[86]
A minmatar walks into a bar... *BANG* -Damned alloyed tritanium.
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JordanParey
Minmatar Suddenly Ninjas
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Posted - 2008.10.07 02:09:00 -
[87]
Originally by: EnslaverOfMinmatar A minmatar walks into a bar... *BANG* -Damned alloyed tritanium.
Lame... already done in this thread =/
Quote: Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
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Arvald
Caldari Ninjas N Pirates
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Posted - 2008.10.07 02:14:00 -
[88]
what do you call an indian with a pilots licence
a pilot you racist bastard
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EnslaverOfMinmatar
Yarsk Hunters DeaDSpace Coalition
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Posted - 2008.10.07 02:28:00 -
[89]
Originally by: JordanParey
Lame... already done in this thread =/
Uh, ok, here's a another one for ya:
A minmatar walks into a gay bar....
..backwards.
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Dantes Revenge
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.10.07 03:13:00 -
[90]
I still can't figure why a dog is a good family pet and yet a chicken is a good family meal.
A chicken only has two legs, a dog has four. -- There's a simple difference between kinky and perverted. Kinky is using a feather to get her in the mood. Perverted is using the whole chicken. |
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