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San Rintu
The Bastards
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Posted - 2008.10.02 23:47:00 -
[1]
Edited by: San Rintu on 02/10/2008 23:52:25 The rumour mill of the Eve development forum has a habit of churning up much excitement regarding the release of new ships. One major example would be the 'Orca'; a ship touted to be the high sec variant of its big brother, the Rorqual.
Now many industrialists (I've heard the word 'Carebear' could be considered insulting, I like to keep it neutral for the audience) would get overly excited about such a ship's possible existence...some far more than others it would seem.
This is a tale about one of the 'special' ones that could very much be seen in the Darwin Awards this year for an oustanding effort.
So a close corp friend happens to be passing through the Heimatar to Metropolis pocket, minding his own business, maybe even clicking his fingers and shuffling his feet...
Now many of us get the little heart beat missed as we jump the final high sec gate into a low sec pocket...could it be camped? could I get away? The enigma encompasses us all.
So he jumps in to system, no flashy tomfoolers to be seen but one very large icon...
On closer inspection, a Rorqual is sitting upon the Gultratren to Rokofur gate. Now we could only assume that this vexed kitten was attempting to envisage how it would look on the day he could jump his multi-billion ISK ship gate to gate and perform horrific captial drops on naiive asteroids that would even make the likes of Foundation whince.
Our group of roughneck vagabonds were several jumps away. After we got over the session of calling our good friend several expletives for what illegal substances he had taken prior to jumping the gate, we burned at best speed to all expect to fall for a stupid pratical joke.
Low and behold, the long 120Au warp desposited a Rorqual upon the scanner, better still it's still trying to jump the gate once we arrived.
In line with our standard 'AutoCannons first, negotiation later' motto, The Bastards began to lay into the stricken capital.
Not 20 seconds later the bemused pilot ejects from his pretend Orca and is rapidly sent to his nearest clone redistribution centre...along with a lovely bunch of coconuts and a sizeable jar of emo tears.
So the hard part was over? absolutely not.
Much like the wonderful words of Jason Statham 'What do I know about diamonds?', well what do we know about industry? The closest we get is redecorating the odd renegade low sec miner here and there.
After a rather brisk discussion, we furiously rang around the real life friends to secure ourselves a pilot. After an initial failed first attempt, the skill book was bought for an alt...a 1 hour 26 minute skill train for the high intelligence character. So what could we do? no option really but to wait on a busy gate, keeping this multi-billion isk ship locked up...
30 minutes down the line, local begins to get some light chatter, some other local corps begin to arrive and survery the scene. We realise that waiting the other 50 or so minutes is becoming a pipe dream. The phone calls go out again, finally getting in touch with a corpy who's alt can already fly the ship. He evades the dangers of Eve at work to jump clone, move several jumps and pilot the vessel into its new home.
The news that Gultratren is becoming the place to pick up free capitals will probably attract many to seek pastures anew. As for the fateful RorqualcumOrca, it will be placed upon the contracts at a very reasonable price. We warn any future owner to clean the 'specialness' off of it before attempting such rash maneuvers again.
So for any others who wish to 'simulate' what jumping gates in a capital vessel other than a JF would be like, we urge you to proceed to Gultratren where you can meet one of our friendly instructors who will be delighted to guide you through the ship redistrubtion process.
From all of us at The Bastards; good Rorqual pilot, We Salute You!
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Rob Repper
The Bastards
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Posted - 2008.10.02 23:47:00 -
[2]
YARR ebil piwates r ebil
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Shin'Tor Varikior
Minmatar Tactical Information Tribunal
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Posted - 2008.10.02 23:57:00 -
[3]
LMAO... that is too funny... lol
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Rudy Metallo
The Bastards
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Posted - 2008.10.03 00:08:00 -
[4]
WHY DOES ALL THE GOOD SHIT HAPPEN WHEN I'M LOGGED?
**** EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE. --
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Htrag
The Carebear Stare
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Posted - 2008.10.03 00:20:00 -
[5]
awesome
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InSession
Minmatar Mafia
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Posted - 2008.10.03 00:23:00 -
[6]
Nice post, thanks for the laugh
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Warrio
Southern Cross Incorporated Southern Cross Alliance
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Posted - 2008.10.03 00:55:00 -
[7]
Do you think there's always new people around doing new stupid shit or would you say it's the same 20 or so ******s just screwing up over and over again?
sXe |
Tibberg
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Posted - 2008.10.03 01:09:00 -
[8]
Its payday for the pirates
oh yeaaaah.
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Praxis1452
Chaos Reborn
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Posted - 2008.10.03 01:11:00 -
[9]
good read
-------------------------------------------- ôHe who must expend his life to prolong life cannot enjoy it, and he who is still seeking for his life does not have it and can as little enjoy it" |
flashfresh
The Bastards
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Posted - 2008.10.03 08:21:00 -
[10]
I thought it was a joke but no, when I came out of warp....what did I see? A rorqual and no pilot.
What was the fool thinking? Did he think that a big beast like this could go through conventional star gates?
I would have love to read what his thoughts were as he was repeatedly denied access to the stargate and local slowly filling up with Bastards.
F
ôMe, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for.'ö http://i-pirate.blogspot.com
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Artemis Rose
Varion Galactic Accord Corporate Enterprise Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.10.03 08:50:00 -
[11]
No freaking way. Great haul guys, that is one pretty awesome story.
*** Currently Playing: Trolls from Outer Space Current Equipment: VISAcard chain mail, +2 Amulet of Epic Whine, Self Banstick +2 WTB: +666 E-peen killboard stats |
wu han
Gallente The Water Margin.
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Posted - 2008.10.03 08:59:00 -
[12]
LOL. We done chaps; what was that idiot thinking of?
Wu Han
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Abulurd Boniface
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Posted - 2008.10.03 09:28:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Abulurd Boniface on 03/10/2008 09:28:51
Originally by: flashfresh I thought it was a joke but no, when I came out of warp....what did I see? A rorqual and no pilot.
What was the fool thinking? Did he think that a big beast like this could go through conventional star gates?
I would have love to read what his thoughts were as he was repeatedly denied access to the stargate and local slowly filling up with Bastards.
F
If this really was an Orca the reason for it being parked on top of a stargate would be that it apparently has no jump drive: Linkage. I have to give credit to Chribba for the original link.
We can ponder the question of what went wrong that prevented the pilot from making good on his escape. I can hardly imagine it was a lack of experience. It is a non-trivial ship to get, requiring an extensive skill set. You don't get those skills by accident.
I also have a hard time believing that a Rorqual pilot would attempt to jump through a stargate for the same reason. Some other factor was at play here.
If this was an Orca however I'm only interested to find out where I can get one and how much it costs.
This particular specimen is in the custody of pirates so I would be naturally reluctant to do business with them.
Abulurd Boniface ME ME CEO
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San Rintu
The Bastards
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Posted - 2008.10.03 09:41:00 -
[14]
Edited by: San Rintu on 03/10/2008 09:42:12 Although we do not wish to turn this into a flame thread, I have to whole heartedly disagree with your statement.
The pilot in question was only a handful of months old. The skill set for the Rorqual is actually quite short in comparison to many other ships within the game. (Attainable with 2-3 months of dedicated training)
The ship had nothing fitted to it whatsoever further pondering the question of was he going to get the fittings from Empire or did he just not have the skills for them yet?
The OP was meant as a complete jest without any real foundation behind it. If you wish to waste your time and attempt to pick apart its validity word for word then by all means waste your time.
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soldieroffortune 258
Gallente Trinity Council
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Posted - 2008.10.03 12:43:00 -
[15]
Edited by: soldieroffortune 258 on 03/10/2008 12:44:28 but seriously, you said you went BACK to get your group of Vagabonds, how long was this idiot trying to jump through a gate, did he think the options were going to change after the 16541649841650 time of trying?
what an idiot, one of the bigger industrial corps in my alliance is trying to save up for a damned Rorqual, and we have idiots like this who sit on a low sec gate in a capital ship continuously trying to jump like a re-tard hitting his head against a wall
i swear, people need to do research before they go and get into ANY new ship, let alone a capital, did he think a RORQUAL on scan wouldnt make a nice big juicy target?
i swear, the power of ebay these days . . . . .
Originally by: soldieroffortune 258
"Eve is about making yourself richer while making the other guy poorer"
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Huberek Morchu
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Posted - 2008.10.03 12:50:00 -
[16]
So that was why someone was asking if we had any corp mates who could pilot a Rorq. Unfortunately our rorq pilot was offline at the time.
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Omarvelous
Caldari Destry's Lounge
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Posted - 2008.10.03 13:11:00 -
[17]
Good to see some fun shenanigans in Gultraten.
Sup brosef! Destry's Lounge is looking for a few good drunks - contact me in game.
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Sirius Problem
Darkness Inc.
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Posted - 2008.10.03 13:20:00 -
[18]
Great story and a well written. ---- Train more. Whine less.
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Mui Mui
Independent Pilots
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Posted - 2008.10.03 14:55:00 -
[19]
Great stuff!
I want to read more about expensive ships piloted by CTG / Ebay pilots and the resulting torrent of carebear tears.
Looking at your KB San, you guys have recently killed a Golem and got a free Rorqual? 5.5billion isk kill damage in a one week?
keep 'em coming.
M
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San Rintu
The Bastards
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Posted - 2008.10.03 15:14:00 -
[20]
Edited by: San Rintu on 03/10/2008 15:13:51 This is what we do...
join the phenomenon
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Sarvic
The Bastards
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Posted - 2008.10.03 17:42:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Mui Mui Great stuff!
I want to read more about expensive ships piloted by CTG / Ebay pilots and the resulting torrent of carebear tears.
Looking at your KB San, you guys have recently killed a Golem and got a free Rorqual? 5.5billion isk kill damage in a one week?
keep 'em coming.
M
And this is not even one of our best weeks...We have seen better. To all my ship mates well done one the Rorq, surely looks good in the corp hangar
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Stephannus Calimben
the united
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Posted - 2008.10.03 19:52:00 -
[22]
lol, this is what happens when noobs train to a pipe dream without ever actually researching what other skills one might need to properly use or...well MOVE their shiny new ship |
Demitria Fernir
Caldari Science and Trade Institute
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Posted - 2008.10.03 20:48:00 -
[23]
C&P Thread of the week.
Congratulations for the Orca |
devilator
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Posted - 2008.10.04 02:00:00 -
[24]
Some 12 year old who just got on to play around with dads account, just lost his pops a cool 2-3 bil isk ......im sure his father had to refrain from doing a homer on him..that is the only logic i can come up with on how something like this could happen....eve folks really arent that dumb are they ? for real are they?
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Vim
Spook Division
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Posted - 2008.10.04 11:28:00 -
[25]
Haha, nice fishing story... and its actually a big fish :D |
emf
Amarr Knights Of the Black Sun
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Posted - 2008.10.04 16:53:00 -
[26]
Awesome story, my money is on him filing a stuck petition and waiting for a GM response. Join Knights of the Black Sun today. Contact emf in game. |
Bai ZongTong
Genos Occidere
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Posted - 2008.10.05 09:00:00 -
[27]
Great story and extremely well written! --- Bai ZongTong, responsible for all the lossmails in my corp. |
Take Enemy
Amarr BAD WOLF INC.
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Posted - 2008.10.06 16:54:00 -
[28]
Great post. And Flashfresh's blog entry, hilarious. Simply amazing.
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Elienee
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Posted - 2008.10.06 17:15:00 -
[29]
I love a good "fiction" story.. any screenshots as profe? |
Grarr Dexx
Amarr The Cosa Nostra La Cosa Nostra Alliance
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Posted - 2008.10.06 21:22:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Elienee I love a good "fiction" story.. any screenshots as profe?
Show me 'profe' of your high-school graduation, first!
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