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nozaj
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Posted - 2008.11.20 05:00:00 -
[1]
I used to fear death. Before I became a Pod Pilot I used to think that the destruction of my physical body would spell the end of my consciousness. My first death was met in Eifer. Nothing could ever be the same again. As my capsule burst open I heard with my ears a real sound. Not a virtual sound generated by the interaction of my pod. I heard a roaring as the Capsules fluids burst out into space. The roaring grew impossibly loud and I realised I was somewhere else. I felt my mind stretch into infinity. As it stretched it came back upon itself until I was a disc of thought suspended within a cloud of potential. Then I awoke and the power of the experience faded. I breathed through new lungs and saw through new eyes. I realised then that the configuration of my thoughts was ômeö and that I was not merely a clone of my former self. I was back, unique in every way.
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Aria Jenneth
Caldari Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.11.20 05:57:00 -
[2]
Mm. It feels ... very comforting, doesn't it, pilot?
But it's not perfect. Not ever.
In any case, congratulations on your status as an infomorph, if congratulations are appropriate. |
Madrosynth
Synthesis Deep Salvage
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Posted - 2008.11.20 06:14:00 -
[3]
Ugh. I "died" once. It was a most unpleasant experience - none of this "mind stretching into infinity" overly-romanticized tripe. It was frightening, then cold and wet - most unbecoming a gentleman - waking up nude and drenched and confused.
I promised myself it would never happen again.
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Jade Blackwind
Federal Defence Union
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Posted - 2008.11.20 07:18:00 -
[4]
To kill others and - to a capsuleer - to die himself is (fortunately or unfortunately) one of the things that become easier each time you do it. The first kill brings true adrenaline rush. The 100th is merely a "lock primary on commander's order - scramble - activate turrets 1 through 8 - make sure you got mentioned in the operation report after docking." The first death brings fear, anger, humiliation. 20th is merely a clonejump back to the base courtesy of a random enemy pilot.
Congratulations with your immortality. But everything in this world has a value only if it also has a purpose... |
Aria Jenneth
Caldari Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.11.20 07:22:00 -
[5]
Ah-- it's just occurred to me, courtesy of Madrosynth's remarks, that my previous comments could have been taken to refer to the process of dying itself.
They weren't.
I wouldn't call the process of being copied, itself, "awful," but I would call it "jarring," "disconcerting," "disorienting," and "not in itself comforting at all," particularly the bit where you first have time to wonder which little bit of you failed to make the jump this time.
The comfort, such as it is, is in the no longer needing to fear death, at least in some contexts. That comfort can be somewhat cold, of course, since, aside from getting eroded a little with every iteration, you still need to fear it in others. |
Stitcher
Caldari Duty.
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Posted - 2008.11.20 09:30:00 -
[6]
different people experience capsule-death differently, and it's always fascinating to me to hear.
For me, the transition to a new body has always been... well, easy and a little anticlimactic. There's that second of resignation, when I realise that there's nothing I can do then....
and then I'm somewhere else. it's always been like that for me. -
Captain Verin "Stitcher" Tarn-Hakatain. |
BloodBird
Gallente Duty.
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Posted - 2008.11.20 10:28:00 -
[7]
Funny, I try and I try, but I can't recall the first time I was podded. Not that it matters. These days, I rarely ever have my pod destroyed, but when I realize I will, I just close my eyes and wait. Soon, feelings shift a little and I open my eyes again, to stare into the face of some nurse in a cloning-bay. Heck, I’ve even had my clone in one location for so long I’ve started to get to know one of them in person.
At times I wonder what my enemies hope to achieve in killing me, a swift clone-upgrade later I'm on my way to my next ship, at it again.
'Death' is a by-gone problem for me, I rarely even consider it. I do try to avoid giving my enemies the satisfaction of catching me though. On the other hand, podding people is not even something I think over. I just do it if the chance appears.
What I do worry, and sometimes feel remorse for, is the death of crew-members - unlike us, they can't just close their eyes and wake up somewhere else.
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Inara Subaka
Caldari the united
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Posted - 2008.11.20 12:31:00 -
[8]
My experience with the few clone reactivations I've had were similar to Pilot Stitcher's... rather bland. I knew it was going to happen and I crossed my fingers that there wasn't a glitch in the neural-scanner.
The only "problem" I've had to deal with is the reconditioning of the new body. Yes, the clone is my body in nearly perfect physical condition... but I tend to stay active physically, and there is a certain level of tone that cannot be reproduced in the cloning vats, and can only be accomplished with a little hard work. I think last time I had my mind thrown into a new body, it took me nearly a month and a half to get back to the shape I was before hand.
Not to mention the lack of decency you have standing stark naked, covered in the organic nourishment baths they store the clones in, in front of people who know you just made a mistake that cost many people their lives.
My suggestion, if the process is as unsettling for you as you mentioned... I'd do my best to avoid that situation. |
Able Citizen
Gallente Jericho Fraction The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2008.11.20 14:54:00 -
[9]
Ahhh, pilot nozaj . . . Accepting the fact that death is no longer an event to fear certainly must instruct your sensibilities.
Understanding that resources are infinite and we needn't fear the idea of the commons being usable by all as opposed to closing off vast sections of space behind intangible "borders" is the next step to realizing our potential as post-human capsuleers.
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Kalen Vox
Veyr
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Posted - 2008.11.20 17:58:00 -
[10]
Death worries me. My conciousness persists, yet I am technically a different person. This is a disjointed, synthetic immortality, if that is indeed what it is. Perhaps we all go into the Abyss after death... we just don't know about it. |
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Verone
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2008.11.20 18:14:00 -
[11]
I've lost my life three times, every time the experience has been different.
It's natural for a human, capsuleer or not, to fear death. Survival is inherent in our mentality as human beings, anyone who declares they don't fear their own demise is frankly, full of ****.
Do I fear death? After the amount of lives I've taken, yes. But what I fear more is hardware failure, or an issue with the process. I've seen the effects of a mind lock first hand on one of my own employees. I'd never wish that on even my worst enemy.
"Immortality" is a myth, and thinking that you're above and beyond the laws of human existance will lead you to a place you don't want to be.
Death in some form or another will visit us all. Regardless of race, creed, or political allignment that's one thing that we all have in common, as much so as the very air we breathe.
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daqor
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.11.20 20:33:00 -
[12]
I recall my first death (And thus far the only one), it was rather awkward, really. I was still fresh out of the SAK, freighting minerals through a low security system when I encountered a gatecamp, and all I remember was picking up a Rokh-class battleship before waking up in a station a few jumps from there. After that, I've yet to "die" again, though I must admit to having lost one or two ships since the Badger I was flying on that day... In fact, there is a rather embarassing story featuring a Serpentis Iteron V and my Drake |
Orion GUardian
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.11.20 22:46:00 -
[13]
Dying....the last time was a long time ago....the first thought on my first death was somewhere around the line."Damn thats it ok now try to warp aw..." and the last sillable drowned in organic fluid. It was like a cut in a movie....since then I had tried to focus when I knew there was nothing to do....but I have yet to experience something extraordinary really... |
Victor Valka
Caldari Kissaki Corporation
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Posted - 2008.11.21 08:26:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Aria Jenneth In any case, congratulations on your status as an infomorph, if congratulations are appropriate.
I would like to echo Miss Jenneth.
Welcome.
Originally by: Spaztick You are not outnumbered, you are in a target-rich environment.
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Kimochi Rendar
Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.11.21 11:20:00 -
[15]
My first time was a.. jarring experience.
I remember feeling disorientated when my capsule was ejected from my ship for a moment while my interface reconfigured itself. Then I remember feeling and hearing cannon rounds impacting the capsule's surface.
Things get hazy at that point... I vaguely remember a kind of 'rushing' sensation... And a really bright light. The first concrete thing I remember is lying on a cold white tiled floor, in a pool of ectoplasm and throwing up shortly before a nurse cocoons me in towels and helps me up onto an exam table.
It's only happened the once so far, but i'd rather not repeat the experience... It was not exactly pleasant. |
Elsebeth Rhiannon
Minmatar Gradient Electus Matari
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Posted - 2008.11.21 11:32:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Elsebeth Rhiannon on 21/11/2008 11:32:55 I've lost a clone in a situation for... I've lost count a bit, but I think around 15 times.
I am in the unfortunate group that does get side effects from emergency cloning. I do get some from clone-jumping, too, but nowhere as bad; I suspect this is related to adrenaline during the scanning experience. I get shakes, nausea, dizziness, and sleep really, terribly badly the next couple of nights.
Best cure found so far seems to be, first, get back to pod and space as fast as possible - the immediate effects are worse outside - and second, after finished flying for the day, apply liberal amounts of alcohol and loud enough music.
Of course, these side effects are merely a nuisance and pass quickly. I have always been saying to our younger pilots that there's nothing to fear from 'death'. I think people who know how they will react to cloning are in a fortunate position; it could get very annoying to find out in a situation where you really are needed back on the field as fast as you can fire up the pod implants again.
Congratulations on your First Death. |
Mikael Mechka
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Posted - 2008.11.21 12:43:00 -
[17]
To date, I have died three times. I do all I can to avoid it, and more specifically, to avoid the situation where I am faced with nothing between me and the void but my pod.
I find losing a crewed ship far more jarring than the prospect of my own termination. As a result, I have been piloting pod-only ships like frigates and interceptors as much as possible if I feel that I may lose the ship.
We are effectively immortal until our minds cannot be cloned anymore, and some pilots have let that get to them, sacrificing battleships with thousands of crew on a whim. I dearly hope I never get to that point.
Congratulations on finding you are nigh-on immortal. I hope you didn't lose any crew finding out. |
Eran Mintor
Valklear Guard
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Posted - 2008.11.23 12:21:00 -
[18]
Don't tell me I'm the only one here who's self-destructed my own pod to get a quick ride home...
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2008.11.23 14:05:00 -
[19]
I always feel like I'm walking towards this very, very bright light, but then I suddenly get yanked off to the side. -----
CEO, Mixed Metaphor Dance Commander |
Sha'ara Sha'amashira
Minmatar StoneDogS
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Posted - 2008.11.23 15:36:00 -
[20]
I have passed to a new body fifteen times now. Each one was a jarring and moving experience at the end of which I came out to find crewmen I had employed who had been vibrant and full of life gone forever from this world.
I still fear death, because I personally know that within all of those experiences I have not ever once died. I have always come back from the brink to surface into a new body, every single time. We as pilots should still fear death, lest we become complacent in our immortality and begin to take it for granted, only to have it blow up in our faces.
I personally attempt to avoid death whenever possible, regardless of what kind of spiritual benefit I may gain from being pushed to the very edge of the next world and hauled back again. Every human being should fear death, even those who seemingly cannot die. Every single one of us can be ripped from life at any moment, and have it become a permanent condition. Anonymity is not an excuse to be and *******. Think before you post. |
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BloodBird
Gallente Duty.
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Posted - 2008.11.23 17:10:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Sha'ara Sha'amashira Every single one of us can be ripped from life at any moment, and have it become a permanent condition.
And this is exactly why we should not worry about it. After all, death is by now more a sad accident more than anything our enemies designed for us, unless we die outside our capsules. We are immortal, as long as the only death we face is capsulee breach. Life is to fragile to be worried over all the time, nor is it good to spend every waking hour in a capsule to attempt to stave off what is inevitable regardless of our actions.
I enjoy my life, I even self-destruct at times for swift, if unpleasant travel when absolutely needed. If I should die, then, well. Worrying over death at all times is not truly living, I believe.
Sig source |
Kitoba
Minmatar Legion of Dynamic Discord
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Posted - 2008.11.23 20:34:00 -
[22]
It might be just me, but I never, ever, feel the scanning itself: I guess I'm just stopping my mental processes in time, preventing the scanner from having to do extra work re-scanning parts of me and, ultimately, _forcing_ me to stop to think.
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Aria Jenneth
Caldari Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.11.23 21:49:00 -
[23]
I don't think any of us actually feel the scanning itself, Ms. Kitoba, for the same reason we wouldn't feel a bullet passing through our gray matter: it's nearly instantaneous and utterly destructive.
That, and brains don't feel pain, as such.
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