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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
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Posted - 2009.03.05 01:50:00 -
[1]
(Disclaimer: The names of the individuals are concealed to protect the innocent)
It was a dark and stormy night in Umokka. Dark is relative as it was close to the sun, and stormy as well as it was in space.
It all began when a group of rapscallions destroyed my first ever abaddon. Shame, but it was long due and the insurance company was blackmailing me already.
At one point, i was ransomed and i paid 10 million, shockingly they destroyed my ship anyway. I however promised them more ISKies as the ransom felt rather small, so i came back later and paid them extra 25 million.
What happened next was the accelerator to the epic story of the Battle Bestower.
I'll keep it rather short, but to the point.
Smacktalk happened, despite my generous offer and one of the criminal-abiding citizens challenged me to a fight. You and me, at dawn, let's go, logs as follows:
Sheriff Jones > Hey, ????, you wanted to fight me?
???? > yes
Sheriff Jones > Cool, lemme go grab another ship and come back. Let's have a fight! Wee!
Such vivid clash of words and butting of heads.
I went forth and undocked my glorious battle bestower, feeling this was the last trip me and the girl would take.
I arrived at the scene of the soon to be battle. Warped to planet 1, dropped a can and waited.
He warped in a nighthawk, i was sure i was doomed, the battle bestower was good, but command ship good?
He wouldn't take the can, understandable. Told him to check my corp, one man. My alliance, had none. Even asked his corpmate to gang me so i couldn't be ganged to other people.
He denied and warped away.
I took this as a victory, afterall, he chickened out of a fight. This didn't go down well, more rabble ensued, harsh words and after a while, there we were, back at planet 1, he threatening to kill me. I told him to take the can so we could fight. What happened next shocked me to the bone. He retreated.
I wasn't flashy red. I was in a bestower. He was in a nighthawk and...running?
Smacktalk continued, people were telling him to drop a can or grab from my can, nothing worked and he kept on going, my bestower roaring through the space like...a...roaring..hippo.
After a while, i declared a tactical knock out and warped from the battlefield, victorious!
...technically 
A little picture of the funniest and most awesomest moment of my EVE history:
Picture here, Chribba willing.
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Le Skunk
Low Sec Liberators
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Posted - 2009.03.05 01:55:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Le Skunk on 05/03/2009 01:55:40
If you kill a carebear in a bestower, and you are in a nighthawk he yells "WOW YOUR SUCH A BIG MAN KILLING ME I HAVENT EVEN GOT ANY GUNS - YOU ARE A FAILURE"
If you decide not to kill a carebear in a bestower, and you are in a nightawk he yells "LOLOL I DEFEATED YOU - WHY DIDNT YOU SHOOT ME YOUR SCARED OF ME - YOU ARE A FAILURE"
This.. is the fundamental problem one faces when interacting with the carebear.
SKUNK
(o)
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Rawr Cristina
Caldari
Naqam
Exalted.
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:00:00 -
[3]
More likely the Nighthawk pilot is a total showoff but in reality dosen't have a clue about anything.
That's the Umokka I remember  |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:00:00 -
[4]
They killed me in an abaddon before that and i yelled "Oh my gods i'm sorry have more isk my ransom wasn't big enough", so i doubt i'd be sad about losing a bestower |
Jacharian
Caldari
Internet Superiority Club
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:04:00 -
[5]
I'm not sure why people are so critical towards honor tanking, it obviously works. |
Lucas Tigh
East Khanid Trading
Khanid Trade Syndicate
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:07:00 -
[6]
You blacked out your fitting. You, sir, are no fun. 
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baltec1
Antares Shipyards
Hoodlums Associates
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:08:00 -
[7]
My Battle Badger approves of this outcome and congradulates Sheriff's battle bestower.
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:08:00 -
[8]
 Originally by: Lucas Tigh
You blacked out your fitting. You, sir, are no fun.
It's a state secret 
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Jimer Lins
Gallente
Noir.
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:39:00 -
[9]
Sheriff strikes again!
Now, I'm gonna have to go to Umokka with a passive targeter and a ship scanner... someday, Mr. Jones, your fitting for beating a Nighthawk in a Bestower will be revealed, and I shall then rule! Muaa ha aha ha ha!
Seriously, that's funny- good job!
Corp killboard
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Todd Jaeger
Malevolent Evolution
The Church.
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Posted - 2009.03.05 02:49:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
They killed me in an abaddon before that and i yelled "Oh my gods i'm sorry have more isk my ransom wasn't big enough", so i doubt i'd be sad about losing a bestower
i lul'd
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Nova Fox
Gallente
Novafox Shipyards
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Posted - 2009.03.05 03:00:00 -
[11]
they knew he had one of my prototype concord peacekeepers in the bestowers cargo hold he was planning to board.
=============
Pre Order your Sisters of Eve ship today
|
Anubis Assassin
Caldari
Three 6 MaFiA
Dark Crystal Empire
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Posted - 2009.03.05 03:43:00 -
[12]
You're hangin' out around Umokka now Sheriff Jones? Maybe I'll see ya around there some time. Rawr Cristina ditched us a little while back XD
---------------------------
I have to make my own sig break? WTF?
These forums suck CCP, fix 'em or get something better... I'm tired of reading Khraunus' sig every single time I read one of his |
F90OEX
F9X
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Posted - 2009.03.05 03:52:00 -
[13]
Sounds like you need the Bestower of all the Bestowers, where Amarr girls drop there panties on site just to see the it
You can find it in Sell fourms 
|
Kiviar
Caldari
Bloodmoney Incorporated
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Posted - 2009.03.05 04:11:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Kiviar on 05/03/2009 04:13:23
Originally by: Jimer Lins
Sheriff strikes again!
Now, I'm gonna have to go to Umokka with a passive targeter and a ship scanner... someday, Mr. Jones, your fitting for beating a Nighthawk in a Bestower will be revealed, and I shall then rule! Muaa ha aha ha ha!
Seriously, that's funny- good job!
My money is on lots of Basic Expanded Cargohold Is
Also its good to see that Umokka hasn't changed since I used to hang out there =/
---
Certified elite hull tanker. |
Spurty
Caldari
Amok.
Minor Threat.
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Posted - 2009.03.05 04:12:00 -
[15]
ah light relief, well done Sheriff Jones
boom .. drama bomb was a direct hit, expect GoonSwarm posts on CAOD any second! |
Ratchman
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Posted - 2009.03.05 09:57:00 -
[16]
Upon seeing the Bestower, he obviously suspected you of dirty tricks, but it always makes me laugh when people who employ dirty tricks (destroying someone who has paid a ransom) whines because they suspect someone else of doing the same. Trying to get one of their corpies to fleet you reinforces this conceit.
Sounds like the kind of ganker gatecamper I dislike. They only ever engage when the odds are overwhelmingly in their favour, and chase easy targets only. If there is the remotest chance that they might face any proper opposition, they whine like little *****es.
You, sir, scared them off with a Bestower. Excellent bluff (even if it wasn't intended). Now you have bragging rights for that encounter.
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TraininVain
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Posted - 2009.03.05 10:31:00 -
[17]
Truly epic
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Tzar'rim
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Posted - 2009.03.05 10:56:00 -
[18]
Did you jump in your corpies too early?
Self-proclaimed idiot
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Confuzer
Volition Cult
The Volition Cult
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Posted - 2009.03.05 13:06:00 -
[19]
Euhm, and that Mega that is hanging next to it? Was it his friend? If not... then he was right not trusting you :P
-----------------
Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It's not a thing to be waited for - it is a thing to be achieved. |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
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Posted - 2009.03.05 13:13:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Tzar'rim
Did you jump in your corpies too early?
Don't have any
Originally by: Confuzer
Euhm, and that Mega that is hanging next to it? Was it his friend? If not... then he was right not trusting you :P
If it's a public fight, i can't help people comign to watch. Like i said, didn't help that his corpmate could've invited me to a gang and no worries like that.
It was abundantly clear, after all backups and all "checks for hax", he feared the bestower
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Angel Lightbringer
Caldari
Nexus Shipyards
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Posted - 2009.03.05 13:14:00 -
[21]
Gold!
-Angel |
Sol'Kanar
Minmatar
SRIUS BISNIS
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Posted - 2009.03.05 13:38:00 -
[22]
Confirming the momentous event. The pilot in the nighthawk was spewing the best vitriol a pre-teen could muster. Sheriff Jones, cool under pressure, took the harsh language in stride and stayed on point.
It was a good show and thoroughly entertaining. Please come back soon, Sheriff.
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Sadao
Minmatar
Ammatar Free Corps
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Posted - 2009.03.05 13:49:00 -
[23]
I offer gratz to the Sherrif. Very funny story.
/me tips hat
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Fox Ogmo
Net 7
The Last Brigade
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Posted - 2009.03.05 14:38:00 -
[24]
Name and SHAME!
I managed to ransom an osprey with my battle hoarder once (one of my proudest achievements, especially after having been warned to "Disengage or [he'd] be forced to destroy [my] ship")
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Typhado3
Minmatar
Ashen Lion Mining and Production Consortium
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Posted - 2009.03.05 14:49:00 -
[25]
lol. Whatever happened to the days of pirates being mean tough fighters who would kill you if you crossed them...... we seem have more of the whiney I'll gank you with me and my 5 friends then run when you fit a gun sort of pirates.
ccp fix mining agent missions % pls |
Rawr Cristina
Caldari
Naqam
Exalted.
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Posted - 2009.03.05 14:54:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Anubis Assassin
You're hangin' out around Umokka now Sheriff Jones? Maybe I'll see ya around there some time. Rawr Cristina ditched us a little while back XD
I'm sorry there were too many Achura around and it just wasn't the same anymore.
I remember when Umokka only had 50 ppl in it. Nowadays it's up to 200.
I had to move on... 
- Infectious - |
H Lecter
Gallente
The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2009.03.05 14:58:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
It was a dark and stormy night in Umokka. Dark is relative as it was close to the sun, and stormy as well as it was in space.
The intro is pure win! The Nighthawk incident is hard to believe
Originally by: Rells
First of all, I wouldn't give you the sweat off my balls.
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Flitz Farseeker
Gallente
Aliastra
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Posted - 2009.03.05 15:27:00 -
[28]
I am well impressed, Sheriff. I also suspect that his ship was so badly fitted that the Battle Bestower (assuming that it actually has any weapons) would have won.
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Sol'Kanar
Minmatar
SRIUS BISNIS
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Posted - 2009.03.05 16:52:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Flitz Farseeker
I am well impressed, Sheriff. I also suspect that his ship was so badly fitted that the Battle Bestower (assuming that it actually has any weapons) would have won.
I think it was more the incredulous notion that a player in a bestower would challenge another in a nighthawk. The nighthawk pilot figured there had to be something he was missing. His paranoia got the better of him much to the mirth of everyone in Umokka.
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Kuronaga
Tribal Liberation Force
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Posted - 2009.03.08 17:41:00 -
[30]
paranoia truly is a powerful weapon.
good job.
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