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Tryconton
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Posted - 2009.10.18 14:36:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Tryconton on 18/10/2009 14:41:04 I still want to hook up with other girls.
I mean I really do absolutely love her. She is the girl I want to marry (May seem crazy after only being together a year and being so young). We have been through thick and thin (outside of our relationship problems), and we never fight. She really is perfect, take my word for it.
We've been together for a year and I went off to college this year and I really just want to experience sex with different girls. I only had sex with a few other girls before her.
I want to ask her if we could have an open relationship where we can have sex with other people. I'm afraid this will make her leave me though by giving her the impression that I would cheat even if she did say no. I'm also afraid she won't understand that I can love her and still want sex with other girls. I mean I don't want anything permanent, I just want time to explore for awhile.
I can understand why she wouldn't be ok with just putting things on hold while I go get laid. I'm just worried I will feel like this for the rest of what I want to be my life with her if I don't get it out of my system now.
I'm telling you all this partly for advice, but mainly because I needed to tell someone how I feel and I don't feel like there is anyone I can trust.
Thanks for listening
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azeral kulik
Amarr
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Posted - 2009.10.18 14:37:00 -
[2]
you being serious or pulling my leg the back of your neck smells lovely |
Tryconton
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Posted - 2009.10.18 14:44:00 -
[3]
Serious unfortunately :(
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Destination SkillQueue
Are We There Yet
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Posted - 2009.10.18 15:23:00 -
[4]
How would you feel if she said to you she loves you, but knows some hot studs she has to sample? Something in the line of, that she puts her needs before yours and your feelings? She isn't really happy with you and is staying with you until she finds someone better? Being with someone doesn't mean you aren't attracted to others, but it pretty much means you value your relationship more then the needs of your indiscriminate boner. You're the one in relationship with her, so you should already know approximately how she feels about and reacts to such things.
Another thing. Why aren't you trying to explore and try out new things with her? Is it something she doesn't want to do? Is she just bad or meh at it and you don't want to improve on things? I'm asking, since I've never felt sex to be much of an issue. It's how things work outside sex, that ends up causing the friction.
I would recommend against doing it and lying about it or hiding it afterwards. She knows you well enough to notice a change and you have to tell her something to explain it. I haven't met many people who could pull something like that off convincingly. Not to mention your posting here, instead of just doing it, suggest you know it isn't exactly the proper thing to do, so it will affect you even after the fact. At the minimum it is very risky and will affect things even if you manage to hide it from her.
PS. You could always try to get a job as a **** actor. That way you can do all that and at least say that it was just work. She might leave you anyway though.
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azeral kulik
Amarr
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Posted - 2009.10.18 15:33:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Destination SkillQueue How would you feel if she said to you she loves you, but knows some hot studs she has to sample? Something in the line of, that she puts her needs before yours and your feelings? She isn't really happy with you and is staying with you until she finds someone better? Being with someone doesn't mean you aren't attracted to others, but it pretty much means you value your relationship more then the needs of your indiscriminate boner. You're the one in relationship with her, so you should already know approximately how she feels about and reacts to such things.
Another thing. Why aren't you trying to explore and try out new things with her? Is it something she doesn't want to do? Is she just bad or meh at it and you don't want to improve on things? I'm asking, since I've never felt sex to be much of an issue. It's how things work outside sex, that ends up causing the friction.
I would recommend against doing it and lying about it or hiding it afterwards. She knows you well enough to notice a change and you have to tell her something to explain it. I haven't met many people who could pull something like that off convincingly. Not to mention your posting here, instead of just doing it, suggest you know it isn't exactly the proper thing to do, so it will affect you even after the fact. At the minimum it is very risky and will affect things even if you manage to hide it from her.
PS. You could always try to get a job as a **** actor. That way you can do all that and at least say that it was just work. She might leave you anyway though.
thats a good way of saying it. need to gain control of your animal instincts, wich should be easy enough if you love here as much as you say you do. the back of your neck smells lovely |
Jacob Mei
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.10.18 15:35:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Tryconton Edited by: Tryconton on 18/10/2009 14:41:04 I still want to hook up with other girls.
I mean I really do absolutely love her. She is the girl I want to marry (May seem crazy after only being together a year and being so young). We have been through thick and thin (outside of our relationship problems), and we never fight. She really is perfect, take my word for it.
We've been together for a year and I went off to college this year and I really just want to experience sex with different girls. I only had sex with a few other girls before her.
I want to ask her if we could have an open relationship where we can have sex with other people. I'm afraid this will make her leave me though by giving her the impression that I would cheat even if she did say no. I'm also afraid she won't understand that I can love her and still want sex with other girls. I mean I don't want anything permanent, I just want time to explore for awhile.
I can understand why she wouldn't be ok with just putting things on hold while I go get laid. I'm just worried I will feel like this for the rest of what I want to be my life with her if I don't get it out of my system now.
I'm telling you all this partly for advice, but mainly because I needed to tell someone how I feel and I don't feel like there is anyone I can trust.
Thanks for listening
You love her, want to marry her, but you want to screw around with other girls simply for the physical feeling? Stop thinking with your ***** and man up. On an unrelated note, Kneel before Zod! |
Irida Mershkov
Gallente War is Bliss
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Posted - 2009.10.18 15:40:00 -
[7]
Good grief.
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Chribba
Otherworld Enterprises Otherworld Empire
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Posted - 2009.10.18 15:46:00 -
[8]
Hook up with others and lose her, that's a fact. You're being a moron if you do that. You're better off taking a break from her if so and then see what happends.
Open relationships is not the way to go. Better yet, ask yourself, do you want to be with her knowing she's heading off to your friend or some other random guy every other night? If not, well there's your answer.
Win a Cap Recharger II BPO for 10M ISK |
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Artoxis Lugh
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Posted - 2009.10.18 15:47:00 -
[9]
I'm not sure if this is a troll thread, but I'll take the chance.
You have to think if your relationship with your current partner is more important than this part of your personality. If you think this is just a passing phase then I would suggest you say nothing and deal with it, bit if you suspect that you just aren't wired for monogamy then I would suggest you google for some polyamory resources and have a long hard think about what you want from a relationship.
I'm not polyamorous but I know several people that are. It might work for you, but you have to understand if that's who you are versus just wanting to sleep with other girls for the hell of it.
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MooKids
Caldari Azure Twilight Engineering
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Posted - 2009.10.18 16:01:00 -
[10]
Go ahead and hook up with other women. Its obvious you don't love this one. -------------------------------- CCP can patch away bugs, but they can't patch away stupidity. |
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Teetxe
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Posted - 2009.10.18 16:10:00 -
[11]
You need to decide what kind of person you are, and what you want in life.
If you want a wife that will stand by you for as long as you can imagine, Then you need to overcome your primal instincts. And yes, thats where the urge to be with other women comes from, the good old primal part of the brain that wants to keep the survival of your genes alive. Thats it.
If you think however, that for the rest of your life that you just want to have fun, feel good, make money and own lots of **** .. spare her feelings and cut her loose sooner rather then later so she can find a guy who actually cares about HER and you can go back to hooking up with random women.
In other words.. Do you want to be a real man, or just an over evolved animal? |
Noun Verber
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Posted - 2009.10.18 16:36:00 -
[12]
Is she massively jealous?
How does she react to you watching "adult videos"?
I wouldn't recommend open relationships (even though you are asking advice from internet spaceships nerds).
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Feilamya
Pelennor Swarm THE KLINGONS
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Posted - 2009.10.18 16:47:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Tryconton Edited by: Tryconton on 18/10/2009 14:41:04 I still want to hook up with other girls.
If that's what you want, don't make yourself unhappy and just do it, and don't ask a bunch of internet spaceship geeks for permission first. Many of them never got laid in their lives, so they want your life to be just as miserable as theirs.
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Lord Windu
Echelon Warfare Unit
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Posted - 2009.10.18 16:54:00 -
[14]
If you are wanting to see other women then maybe you should have a break from your current relationship and then see other people. Eventually you might find yourself back with your current partner or you might just find someone else you want to be with. Heck she may find someone else that she wants to be with over you. I think many people would "like" to go with someone else at one time or another but that is totally different from actually acting on it and sleeping around.
Work out what will make you happy, make a decision and go with it because if you don't you will always wonder "what if", just don't go breaking the girls heart in the process and don't go making her think all blokes are just out to get laid. ------
In Before Kanye West |
Teetxe
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Posted - 2009.10.18 17:18:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Feilamya
Originally by: Tryconton Edited by: Tryconton on 18/10/2009 14:41:04 I still want to hook up with other girls.
If that's what you want, don't make yourself unhappy and just do it, and don't ask a bunch of internet spaceship geeks for permission first. Many of them never got laid in their lives, so they want your life to be just as miserable as theirs.
Sure, do whatever makes you feel good in the short term with no thought of long term effects. Im sure that will work out great 100% of the time. Nope, nothing can ever go wrong with that mentality.
While your at it go for the world record ****** dosage injection .. Because you know, who cares about later right? |
Eran Laude
Gallente The Aduro Protocol
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Posted - 2009.10.18 18:00:00 -
[16]
No, don't get involved in an open relationship. If she is who you love so deeply that you want to marry, then pop the question and don't keep her waiting. -----
Originally by: "CCP Whisper" Boo hoo. Cry some more.
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Haraldhardrade
Amarr Pax Amarr
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Posted - 2009.10.18 18:23:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Tryconton
I mean I really do absolutely love her.
Yo Tryconton I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had the best video of all times. Caveo of Minmatar , torva vacuus regimen of deus es plurrimi periculosus of bestia
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Calvin Firenze
Minmatar Thanos and Killjoy Productions Huzzah Federation
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Posted - 2009.10.18 18:28:00 -
[18]
You don't love her as much as you think and say you do.
Every man has those urges, I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and I haven't given in to them. The simple fact is, if you honestly cared about her as much as you say you wouldn't give sex with another woman a second thought. An open relationship is a terrible idea no matter the circumstances, neither person will ever be able to fully trust the other even if you make it to marriage.
With that being said, my advice is to leave her and have your fun if you really can't control yourself. I think that's what you wanted to hear anyways, if this isn't just a troll.
Originally by: Xanos Blackpaw some people need to have the stupid beaten out of them
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Denny Haze
Amarr Ministry of War
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Posted - 2009.10.18 18:42:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Haraldhardrade
Originally by: Tryconton
I mean I really do absolutely love her.
Yo Tryconton I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had the best video of all times.
You, sir, are a phailure! It should have been about love, and cheating!
Also, solution to topic: swingers!
60D GTC |
Emil Erlenmeyer
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Posted - 2009.10.18 18:56:00 -
[20]
Can't have the cake and eat it too. This concept is much easier to grasp if you stop thinking with your ****.
Haraldhardrade, stop hitting the 'Post Reply' button and you'll be fine mr.
Originally by: Foodpimp They use a coffee filter, that explains everything you need to know really
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Sazkyen
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Posted - 2009.10.18 19:01:00 -
[21]
" I absolutely love my girlfriend, but...."
the only problem is that her last name is ".jpg"
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Verone
Gallente Veto Corp
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Posted - 2009.10.18 19:19:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Tryconton Edited by: Tryconton on 18/10/2009 14:41:04 I still want to hook up with other girls.
I mean I really do absolutely love her. She is the girl I want to marry (May seem crazy after only being together a year and being so young). We have been through thick and thin (outside of our relationship problems), and we never fight. She really is perfect, take my word for it.
We've been together for a year and I went off to college this year and I really just want to experience sex with different girls. I only had sex with a few other girls before her.
I want to ask her if we could have an open relationship where we can have sex with other people. I'm afraid this will make her leave me though by giving her the impression that I would cheat even if she did say no. I'm also afraid she won't understand that I can love her and still want sex with other girls. I mean I don't want anything permanent, I just want time to explore for awhile.
I can understand why she wouldn't be ok with just putting things on hold while I go get laid. I'm just worried I will feel like this for the rest of what I want to be my life with her if I don't get it out of my system now.
I'm telling you all this partly for advice, but mainly because I needed to tell someone how I feel and I don't feel like there is anyone I can trust.
Thanks for listening
If you feel the need to mess around and play with other women, then it's pretty clear that you don't love the one you're with and aren't satisfied with her.
An open relationship is not a relationship, it's fooling yourself and her into thinking you still have some form of mutual trust and respect for each other when clearly you wouldn't. You obviously have little to no respect for her, or her feelings if you're even CONSIDERING asking her what you've posted above.
Imagine her coming to you, and saying "Hey, I really love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but there's this guy I go to college with that has a 14" schlong that I want to mess around with for a while". I'm sure you wouldn't feel in any way happy with the situation. Regardless of what you post in response to this, you'd feel degraded, inadequate and humiliated.
Fact of the matter is it sounds like you're too immature for a serious relationship, and are not adult enough to settle down happily with someone.
To me it sounds like you want to hold on to her because you want the guarantee of something stable and don't want to be "the last one left on the shelf", yet you still want to mess around with other women. You're sadly mistaken if you think that just running around banging random women for the sake of messing around and racking up a score makes you a bigger man.
It's unfortunate, but at some point what little self respect and respect for her and her feelings you have is going to be shattered when you give in and eventually cheat on her. I kinda feel sorry for the poor girl if you've been telling her how much you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, but this is going through your mind. Deception is an ugly thing.
\o/ EON FICTION WRITER OF 2008! \o/
>>> THE LIFE OF AN OUTLAW <<< |
Benilopax
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.10.18 20:15:00 -
[23]
Question.
Is it the fact you went away to college and therefore can't get regular sex? I have had this urge during long distance relationships. Fortunately I was able to realise that the guilt I would feel would destroy the relationship anyway.
If you can't live without sex on tap, then she's not the one for you. At some point if you're going to marry her, then you have to stay faithful or lest be in a sham and women don't want sex all the time especially as they get older (unless you are lucky).
Then again, it's your life, don't listen to us make your decision and learn from your mistakes. ----------------------------------- New Eden Chronicles: Prime, Fanfest 2010 |
mamolian
Cruoris Seraphim
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Posted - 2009.10.18 20:42:00 -
[24]
You have my permission to go **** some college girls.
Carry on. -----------
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AdmiralJohn
Gallente The Unknown Bar and Pub
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Posted - 2009.10.18 20:51:00 -
[25]
Okay, let's say you did go ahead and fool around with other women, and then came back to your girlfriend. Some things to consider:
- Would you feel better about yourself after?
- What if you brought an STD back into the relationship, and couldn't have children with your wife-to-be because of it?
- Would you ever be able to clear your conscience that you risked the love of your life for a few minutes of pleasure?
Sex is nice, but when you're old and can't get it up anymore, you'll wish you had that faithful wife around to change your bedpan.
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Ladani
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Posted - 2009.10.18 22:02:00 -
[26]
Whatever you do, just don't cheat on her. Trust me girls absolutely despise cheaters, and it is not the fact that you had sex with somebody else. It is the cowardly, dishonest way in which guys do it.
I think you should break up and here is why. Obviously your commitment to her is not serious enough to override your sex drive. She's like a back-up plan to you, tried and tested, easy to fall back to if you don't find anything better. I am sure that this is not the relationship that both of you are looking for. If she is a traditional girl in this respect, never did things like watch **** with you or suggest threesomes with other guys/girls, then most likely she will not take to open relationship well. So if you still care for her, spare her feelings and say that this relationship just isn't working out for you.
As for open relationships, it really varies from person to person. Despite what some people say that respect and love are impossible if you have sex outside of marriage, there are married people who have open relationships and many examples through human history of couples who have not been monogamous, both men living with two or more women and women living with two or more men. Sex after all should not be the most important thing your relationship hinges upon. Trust is possible between multiple partners if you are honest and open and have good communication going.
Also be aware that every 3rd to every 2nd girl on campus is carrying an STD. Sure when you look at them, they seem all clean and pretty. It doesn't seem like their vaginas are infested with all kinds of bacteria and viruses, but those are the statistics. Statistics that people don't like thinking about when they have unprotected sex. And then next thing you know your doctor tells you that you have genital Herpes and will suffer outbreaks throughout life. So always, always, always wear a condom. One of the benefits of having a stable girlfriend by the way, and not sleeping around, is ability to have unprotected sex if she is on the pill which feels much much better.
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Adonis 4174
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Posted - 2009.10.18 22:30:00 -
[27]
I once knew a couple where he wanted an open relationship and she didn't. She accepted but wasn't happy.
Then I came along. The Edinburgh festival was on in a month or so and I invited her to come with me. After a few days of quiet nights and phone calls about how much fun she was having with me in Scotland he asked if she'd mind closing their relationship, not seeing anyone but each other. Those last few nights in Scotland were kinda quiet but I'm still proud.
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Cleo Toris
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Posted - 2009.10.19 02:04:00 -
[28]
I have 17 inches.. can I help?
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Tryconton
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Posted - 2009.10.19 02:30:00 -
[29]
She really isn't my back up plan though. I'm not looking for another girl to be with or even date. She is the top of the top. The example you made about her asking me if she could go sleep around at first made sense, but I'm not telling her that I want to go bang other girls because they are more attractive, but because I just want some variety before I seal the deal. I thought about if she asked me the exact same thing with the exact same motives and although the idea of her having sex with other guys doesn't sit well with me, I would understand and let her do it. Now my want to also be in an open relationship probably influences my acceptance of such an answer....
What I'm thinking I would say is " I want an open relationship. Now before you say or think anything here me out. I love you so much and I really do want to be with you forever. I want to marry you, but first I want to get this out of my system. It isn't that I think other girls are more attractive, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met and you know that...it's just for variety's sake. I'm not looking for another relationship out of this, just sex , my relationship will always just be with you. I really do love you and there is no chance another girl would ever come between us. I just want to get this out of my system before we spend the rest of our life together."
How do you think she would respond to that?
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Chainsaw Plankton
IDLE GUNS IDLE EMPIRE
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Posted - 2009.10.19 02:54:00 -
[30]
Originally by: MooKids Go ahead and hook up with other women. Its obvious you don't love this one.
this, also dump the current gf with a text message, girls love that ****.
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