Pages: 1 :: [one page] |
|
Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Gurney Kal'ar
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 15:59:00 -
[1]
-- Start EPA Officer Report GK000321-b --
So there I was in my Rifter (held together by no small amount of Duct Tape II) admiring the natural formations of Veldspar in belt after belt. Not surprisingly, I came across yet another rock hater, stripping away my national heritage in a Covetor; mining permit not prominently displayed, and likely completely absent from his possession.
With not a can in sight, I could not easily return nature's gift to it's natural place. What to do I pondered for a moment...
No doubt this rock hater would sick his drones upon my Environmental Protection Agency issue Rifter given half a chance, so I decided to appeal to his natural aggressive tendencies.
"Officer Gurney to Coveter pilot, cease and desist all strip mining activity until you have obtained an EPA issue permit."
I listened to a reply of static on the comms channel.
"Officer Gurney to Covetor pilot, the only way you will be able to ignore me is by melting my EPA issue Rifter with your drones." As I spoke these words, I knew the EPA psychological profile set hostile behavior at 62% likely.
Sure enough, the static on the comms channel was replaced with a harsh male voice, "You think I'm so stupid as to turn my drones on you unprovoked? If Concord wasn't around, you'd be liquid metal already."
"If you jettison a single piece of ore, I'd be obliged to return it to it's rightful environment" I replied.
Sure enough, a can was jettisoned from the Covetor. It seemed that this pilot was one of the 62%. I made a quick systems check and prepared to kick on the afterburner as soon as those drones were released.
With care, I moved the ore into a standard issue EPA container, and at once the drones were upon me...
At this point, events unfolded fast and furious. It's all just a blur to me now. Fortunately my EPA combat training kicked in and with a combination of warp jams, drone webs, and short controlled autocannon bursts I was able to save our precious Veldspar formations from further illegal stripping.
-- End EPA Officer Report GK000321-b --
|
Ballista III
8e5T Co0pRAt10n 1n Ev3 HYDRA RELOADED
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 16:20:00 -
[2]
wat?
|
Lady Spank
Amarr Sekret Kool Klubb HYDRA RELOADED
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 16:26:00 -
[3]
Originally by: Ballista III wat?
can flipper
Originally by: Tirus Sinobi Your response has set your intelligence barrier so low that anything you post from here on that breaches it, will have to be considered posted by somebody else.
|
Millie Clode
Amarr
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 16:45:00 -
[4]
inb4 cool story bro
|
Awesome Possum
Imperium Signal Corps
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 17:15:00 -
[5]
cool story bro ♥
Wreck Disposal Services |
mothyowns
teeny tiny space pirates
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 17:17:00 -
[6]
In after cool story bro
http://desusig.crumplecorn.com/ |
Schwa88
Kiss My Assets
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 17:28:00 -
[7]
WAT HAPND NXT?
|
Aqriue
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 18:51:00 -
[8]
11.5/10
Exaggerated stories are so much more entertaining then "I blew up a poorly fiited faction BS with an AF and it took me 15 minutes." No one cares how long it took, anyone can do that in an AF or even a T1 frigate with a full cargo bay of ammo. Now, if your part of an "Veldspare Protection Agency" it adds humor and keeps my interest
|
Alexei Chernobyl
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 19:15:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Alexei Chernobyl on 08/12/2009 19:15:29 As a fellow protector of the environment, currently primarily involved in removing dangerous and carelessly strewn wrecks across the EVE Cluster's glorious and once-beautiful deadspace pockets, I fully endorse and support this fine example of mankind!
|
Marko Riva
Adamant Inc
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 19:18:00 -
[10]
I keep explaining to people I'm really just a belt janitor but they never believe me for some reason
----------- I think, therefore I'm single. New projectile damage PDF Alliance creation service |
|
Jerid Verges
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 20:55:00 -
[11]
I hate enviornmentalists.
|
Z Zjzeffz
Can Flippers Anonymous
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 21:37:00 -
[12]
I approve.
|
Hannydue
Gallente
|
Posted - 2009.12.08 23:40:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Gurney Kal'ar -- Start EPA Officer Report GK000321-b --
So there I was in my Rifter
The rock lovers again, jihad for the rocks or someything?
You know you should make a corp just for killing rock haters. Well and other stuff. I'd bet alot of people would join because it's funny as heck |
Darius III
|
Posted - 2009.12.09 03:29:00 -
[14]
Yeah Yeah Yeah! Made me smile.
|
Simeon Tor
|
Posted - 2009.12.09 07:58:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Hannydue
Originally by: Gurney Kal'ar -- Start EPA Officer Report GK000321-b --
So there I was in my Rifter
The rock lovers again, jihad for the rocks or someything?
You know you should make a corp just for killing rock haters. Well and other stuff. I'd bet alot of people would join because it's funny as heck
I don't think Chribba would like that.
|
Leather Jack
Kernite Commando
|
Posted - 2009.12.09 08:03:00 -
[16]
Well written and nicely played.
10/10
|
xhardxcorex
|
Posted - 2009.12.09 09:57:00 -
[17]
Transition released to the nets from unknown source:
::To EPA infidel Gurney Kal'ar::
To stand in the way of our holy crusade against the geological abominations is treason to Heaven. We will not tolerate your heathen interference with the will of almighty God. I issue a fatwa of death by Modulated Strip Miner IIs on your person. May God have mercy on you blasphemous soul, for my brethren and I shall not.
I call on righteous men of all races; take up your mining lasers, send forth your mining drones! In Hulks, Coveters and Ospreys we shall strike back at these cursed rocks and throw off the shackles of the oppressor! No longer shall they mock us with their rockiness or congregate in their conspiratorial gatherings (or as they refer to them: æbeltsÆ). To get podded in this holy jihad is noble, for the prophet Chirbba has promised all believers 40 Exotic Dancers upon awakening in his clone vat to all who die in his name. Smite the non-believer!
|
Miyamoto Isoruku
Caldari The Phoenix Enclave
|
Posted - 2009.12.09 10:30:00 -
[18]
Originally by: xhardxcorex Transition released to the nets from unknown source:
::To EPA infidel Gurney Kal'ar::
To stand in the way of our holy crusade against the geological abominations is treason to Heaven. We will not tolerate your heathen interference with the will of almighty God. I issue a fatwa of death by Modulated Strip Miner IIs on your person. May God have mercy on you blasphemous soul, for my brethren and I shall not.
I call on righteous men of all races; take up your mining lasers, send forth your mining drones! In Hulks, Coveters and Ospreys we shall strike back at these cursed rocks and throw off the shackles of the oppressor! No longer shall they mock us with their rockiness or congregate in their conspiratorial gatherings (or as they refer to them: æbeltsÆ). To get podded in this holy jihad is noble, for the prophet Chirbba has promised all believers 40 Exotic Dancers upon awakening in his clone vat to all who die in his name. Smite the non-believer!
I kind of want to see Chribba and karttoon duke it out now.
|
James Tritanius
|
Posted - 2009.12.09 17:21:00 -
[19]
cool story bro.
No, actually I mean it. Nice read. Will be better if you expanded more on the fight.
|
nautix
|
Posted - 2009.12.09 17:34:00 -
[20]
Excellent Read, really made me smile and I never thought of can flipping as being or ever being able to be this interesting. :)
|
|
Lord Wulfengheist
Amarr Adhocracy Incorporated
|
Posted - 2009.12.10 20:11:00 -
[21]
Officer, I'm trusting you filled out form 44a in triplicate, got it notarized, sent it to the appropriate departments appended with forms 45L, 46G, and F9 afterwards? You have 7 days to do this (except where prohibited by law).
|
Borun Tal
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2009.12.11 01:31:00 -
[22]
That was a cool story? Some of you need to get a life... ;-)
|
Awesome Possum
Imperium Signal Corps
|
Posted - 2009.12.11 01:40:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Borun Tal Some of you need to get a life... ;-)
says the Eve player.
pot:kettle ♥
Wreck Disposal Services |
Tri Terium
|
Posted - 2009.12.11 10:58:00 -
[24]
I really enjoyed that. A+
|
|
|
|
Pages: 1 :: [one page] |