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Marlona Sky
D00M. RED.OverLord
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:28:00 -
[1]
It's Not Fair: The Emo TJ Story by Marlona Sky
TL;DR - Emo TJ died to my Battle Badger and is mad.
After much butt hurt by a certain person and more attention that I wanted in what I do with a badger I have decided that telling my side of how it all went down might be a cool story for some of you bro's out there. If not then oh well, I just thought a thread to link would be easier than retelling the story over and over.
As you all know about a month or so ago a new face appeared in Assembly Hall with some wild idea about session changes near a jump bridge and bombers wiping out their fleet. This of course was from a bomber run by my corporation which I missed out on but was on comms to share in the glory and lulz. A lot of planing goes into bomber runs and have well it does is half art and half luck. I am no expert on bombers or how to FC them but I have much respect for the patience and planning involved in the ops. Blue or red, a nice bomber run that kills close to a hundred ships or more demands respect.
Anyhow, Emo TJ put up a thread in Assembly Hall to nerf, I forget what exactly, about the session change on jump bridges because the fleet he was in was unable to immediately jump out after seeing the bombs coming in. They were of course bubbled by an interdictor so simply warping off was not an option. Again, extensive planing and luck is involved. Once mistake and the card house that is bomber ops falls. Now Emo's thread was meet with much rage and butthurt from all over from both sides of the great war. Was Emo TJ an alt? Of course. Was he an NC alt whining about losing a fleet in a few seconds? Most likely. Was he a SC alt making a thread to troll the NC? Again, most likely. I have tried not to have an option because either way, he is an idiot.
What soon follows every other few days is a new "Balancing" thread in Assembly Hall on some other aspect of the game he feels needs changed. These changes range from how sovereignty affects bombers and how they can be used to bonuses on artilleries to Dramiels to the most recent... haulers. In each thread it involves a nerf. Plain and simple. In once of several bomber changes he wants he uses the expression, "It is not fair that 20 guys in a gang can to kill a fleet of 100 friends." or something to that nature.
I have replied to a couple of his thread in Assembly Hall to protest his changes but in doing so, I realized all I was doing was bumping it back to the top. So I stopped replying to his threads all together. Others stopped as well, but more people than not continued to give him attention.
Now that you have some background on who Emo TJ is, lets skip ahead to oh say... May 11th, a two days ago:
Occasionally I like to do crazy things with ships that are meant for something else, my favorite, which is nothing new but an all time classic is the Battle Badger. I was first inspired by that video of an industrial gang that killed a vagabond some years back. Now because it will be a good while before I play with them more because a certain person can't take a loss and move on, the attention on me in Badgers will simple cause me to lose them left and right with everyone knowing it is not for just hauling Veldspar.
I was in Penirgman looking for people to bait and kill with it. I have lost about a dozen Battle Badgers but have killed 64 ships with them. In no way do I claim to be some God with that ship but considering I have killed everything from at T1 frigate up to a battleship with them and not having remote reps on me, I am confident in saying that I know what the **** I'm doing. Anyways, guess who I see in local? Emo TJ. While looking for victims in missions and belts I decide to convo him and smack him up a bit for being an idiot. Here is the convo along with details on what was happening ship wise:
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Lallaallaa
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:39:00 -
[2]
"Look at me! I want attention!"
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SHINYBLACKHELMET
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:41:00 -
[3]
Edited by: SHINYBLACKHELMET on 13/05/2010 07:41:53 DERP DERP DERP
Edit: But seriously though, it's a ****ing tossbag story. Give up now, nobody cares.
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Marlona Sky
D00M. RED.OverLord
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:45:00 -
[4]
Emo TJ > What do you want? Marlona Sky > to lulz at you :D
After going around the system a bit, I decide to dock up and get a drink or ham sammich or whatever.
Emo TJ > **** off Marlona Sky > ouch, your not in a good mood are you today?
I am running around hoping for another lol battleship kill like I have done in the past. Here and here. No remote reps on me, they simply aggroed with thier drones after I stole from thier mining cans. Nothing new as far as game mechanics goes, just simply preying on those who either don't understand game mechanics or make standard assumptions, that a Badger is only good for hauling. Did I feel bad for these guys? Some, but only for a few seconds.
Emo TJ > I am actually in an amazing mood after killing that titan :P Marlona Sky > oh really, how much damage did you do to it Emo TJ > Haha, nice try. I am not stupid. It will take more bain power than you have to trick me into giving up my main.
I half way hoped he would say and help narrow down who his main was. Not that it would matter much.
Marlona Sky > /emote snaps fingers Marlona Sky > what are you doing here Emo TJ > I SAID **** OFF!
After going around the system a bit, I decide to dock up and get a drink or ham sammich or whatever and when I land, low and behold, Emo Tj is there at the station undock, not in an Ibis or shuttle, but in a Dramiel!
Marlona Sky > there you are, sup to you in your nice frigate
Me being me and being a can flipper, I noticed a can sitting right next to him. I hit the show info on the can to see who the owner was and sure enough, it was Emo TJ. Emo TJ was can baiting at a station undock with the very ship he wanted nerfed not a week or so ago. The Irony Meter was red lining.
Marlona Sky > didnt you make some ******ed assembly hall thread on nerfing those?
Now I have had the oportunity to fight a Dramiel with one of my Battle Badgers before. Things were in fact going good for me in the fight. That was until he warped in his Scimitar alt. I was simply heart broken. The idea of killing arguably one of the most contriversial FOTM ships with a hauler would have made for a great kill mail. Sadly, with the Scimitar remote repairing his shields, it was not long before my Battle Badger died. So here we are, another Dramiel and the posobility to kill it if I play my cards right. All I needed to do was get him off the station and a starting range that bought me time.
Marlona Sky > such a waste of a ship with such a horrible pilot imo
At this point I picked a planet as my warp out. I was aligned for it, and slowly got within looting range of his can. He locked me, a good sign that he is interested. I take what was inside and warp to the planet at 100km. The item was some random market goods item. My guess is that no one goes for the lone faction ammo round anymore, so using something like Dolls or some Pirating Holo would make for better bait. I will have to agree with that. The moment I land I flip around and align back to the staiton with after burner overloaded. As I predicted, Emo TJ lands at the planet at 0km. Putting over 100km between me and him.
The thing about haulers is they have horrible lock time on anything, frigates taking 30+ seconds to get a lock. A long time to tank someone before you can even do anything to them. On the good side, they have really good lock range. So the moment Emo started to burn towards me, I was spaming the lock. By the time he was on top of me I was over half way thru the lock time.
Emo TJ > Hahaha! Now who is the horrible pilot? Emo TJ > Pr0 tip: Don't warp to a planet after stealing.
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arbiter reformed
Minmatar The Waiting Room.
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:48:00 -
[5]
Jesus
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Lana Torrin
Minmatar Republic Military Skool
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:51:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Marlona Sky
TL;DR - Emo TJ died to my Battle Badger and is mad.
Who? Also, thanks for the TL;DR, saved me what looks to be about 20 mins..
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Marlona Sky
D00M. RED.OverLord
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:52:00 -
[7]
LOCK! Now I get to go from slowely dying to being able to fight back. On a side note, the badger can only lock up to two targets at once, so while I was locking his Dramiel, I was locking all of his warriors. If for some reason he pulls some in the drone bay to change or whatever, at least the lock timer is running on the rest. The reason I use the Badger Mark II over the Itteron Mk 5 is the mid slots. Anyone with determination will be able to look at my losses on the badgers and see the setup. With a near infinite amount of cap booster 200's, I can perma run every module flat out.
Now that I have lock I immediatly hit him with my lone gun, neut, scrambler and double web.
Marlona Sky > Pr0 tip: Don't **** with the badger.
Once I get one of his warriors locked, i put the gun on it. Takes a several rounds depending on the pilots skills, but if they are not paying attention, you can kill them. By the time I pop a few of his warriors, it becomes clear that I can tank him. It is also asumed that because of the small neut, running non-stop, he is most definelty capped out. By the time he realizes his little friends are mostly dead, and he has no cap he assumes there could be only one possible reason for this...
Emo TJ > you fuking chater <-- I think that is supposed to be, "You ****ing cheater"
Emo is scrambled, so no mwd. He has no cap, so no afterburner. He does not have enough dps to break my tank Most importantly, he is down to 40% shield. I then overload the blaster and wait, and sure enough, I get past the peak of the recharge (30% iirc). Emo TJ then logs... oh wait, I mean gets disconected right?
Either way, he explodes in a beautiful fireball. A hauler has killed the FOTM faction frigate! My joy is tarnished a bit when I realize, like in most of my kills, I am screwed on the drop rate but I soon get over it. About ten mintues later, guess what new thread Emo TJ has posted in Assembly Hall? Yep. Neft haulers.
Over the next 24hrs the news of him losing a Dramiel to a Badger spreads thru all the killboards and a few threads. I posted the kill on our D00M./ROL killboard and EVE Arena killboard (which while still in beta, I think it is sex on a stick!) and that was it. I posted the killmail for my friends, corp chat and those in the CSM channel (because everyone in that channel hates him too) and that was it. I don't like to make threads about what I do in empire because to be honest, I don't like the attention. I do in a way, but what I realized is, that if everyone starts watching you, all you do is deny yourself kills, and put yourself in more danger. This is the reason why I do not fraps and post movies about can flipping or tricking those in empire.
In the end not many people keep up on the forums like some of us forum *****s, so giving my side of the story on this encounter should not affect me too much. Super long boring story but I wanted to give details to dispel any ideas that I used haxsloits or whatever. I appreciate the mails and convos and I enjoy reading about those who push the envelope on showing why this game is great. To Emo TJ, get over it and move on. Adapt an overcome or go back to WoW. There are no badgers there.
And to all those saying, "Look at me." "Boring." I say, "So."
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SHINYBLACKHELMET
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:57:00 -
[8]
Originally by: SHINYBLACKHELMET
DERP DERP DERP
Edit: But seriously though, it's a ****ing tossbag story. Give up now, nobody cares.
This guy summed it up best.
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Marlona Sky
D00M. RED.OverLord
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:58:00 -
[9]
Originally by: SHINYBLACKHELMET Edited by: SHINYBLACKHELMET on 13/05/2010 07:41:53 DERP DERP DERP
Edit: But seriously though, it's a ****ing tossbag story. Give up now, nobody cares.
I would say, "You cared enough to post." but I agree, it is a tossbag story.
Originally by: Lana Torrin
Originally by: Marlona Sky
TL;DR - Emo TJ died to my Battle Badger and is mad.
Who? Also, thanks for the TL;DR, saved me what looks to be about 20 mins..
Which is why I put it at the top. Annoying when people put the DL;DR at the bottom ehh?
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Ceyna Lakise
Spartan Shipyards
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Posted - 2010.05.13 08:11:00 -
[10]
I've seen your B.B. vids and I think its hilarious to catch people off guard with it.
This was a nice kill, plain and simple.
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GPerson
Gallente Dreddit
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Posted - 2010.05.13 08:20:00 -
[11]
This would be Emo TJ's 'tarded thread.
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panda name
Gallente
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Posted - 2010.05.13 08:42:00 -
[12]
can you try to tell the story again? i'm genuinely interested as to how you killed a fracking dram with a badger...
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Ran Khanon
Amarr Ministry of War
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Posted - 2010.05.13 10:07:00 -
[13]
Originally by: panda name can you try to tell the story again? i'm genuinely interested as to how you killed a fracking dram with a badger...
It be all here
Anyway, can't fathom why you deleted it, Marlona. I frigging love it. Also the killmails you provide in the story are ace. Help us to make parrots game related today! |
Grimpak
Gallente Noir. Noir. Mercenary Group
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Posted - 2010.05.13 10:08:00 -
[14]
Originally by: panda name can you try to tell the story again? i'm genuinely interested as to how you killed a fracking dram with a badger...
I can imagine how it went:
dram sees badger, "OMFG EASY KILL!" clicks approach, full burn, unleashes drones. little did he know that this particular badger has low-slot tankage and a full compliment of ECM and tackling equipment on the meds.
rest is easy to imagine. he went to web/scram range, got jammed, got assploded by the single blaster the ship carried (or was it maybe a pulse laser?) and the lonely small neut.
tears ensued.
dram is wreck, dram pilot has been ashamed. badger pilot has vindicated all those poor badgers that were killed by the dramiel scum. ---
Quote: The more I know about humans, the more I love animals.
ain't that right. |
ElJo123
Accompanied By Unicorns
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Posted - 2010.05.13 10:10:00 -
[15]
Originally by: GPerson This would be Emo TJ's 'tarded thread.
It's beautiful. Because of neut?
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Kau Feng
Pheeble Enterprises
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Posted - 2010.05.13 10:20:00 -
[16]
Good read - thanks to Ran for linking the original story.
Mariona deleting the story you posted because of some smartarses is very emo. HTFU!
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Vagilicious
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Posted - 2010.05.13 11:41:00 -
[17]
Great read! would love to try this myself sometime, what sort of fit do you use?
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ladyundertaker
Amarr coracao ardente
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Posted - 2010.05.13 13:05:00 -
[18]
haha...
HAHAHAHAHA
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
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Queue K'Umber
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Posted - 2010.05.13 13:52:00 -
[19]
Quite impressive and entertaining.
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Andrea Griffin
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Posted - 2010.05.13 14:27:00 -
[20]
I would like to see your Badger fit. Also, congratulations on the kill there! Nice to know that the Dramiels have one weakness... Pilot stupidity.
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Cyan Cure
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Posted - 2010.05.13 15:01:00 -
[21]
So when's the "I'M AWESOME" campagin starts? I'm sure there's still a handful of people that didn't hear about this.
Such a nice kill just got s**t all over it and flushed down the toilet along with any respect for you as a pilot. If i sound bitter, trust me, i'm not.
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Fahkyo huplots
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Posted - 2010.05.13 15:02:00 -
[22]
I love it, pure and simple, brilliant and hilarious.
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Helmh0ltz
Blue is the New Red
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Posted - 2010.05.13 16:00:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Andrea Griffin I would like to see your Badger fit. Also, congratulations on the kill there! Nice to know that the Dramiels have one weakness... Pilot stupidity.
[Badger Mark II - Marlona Skye's Battle Badger]
Magnetic Field Stabilizer II Magnetic Field Stabilizer II Small Armor Repairer II
10mn Afterburner II Stasis Webifier II Stasis Webifier II Warp Scrambler II Small Capacitor Booster II [Cap Booster 200] Small Capacitor Booster II [Cap Booster 200]
Light Neutron Blaster II [Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge S] Small Energy Neutralizer II
Medium Auxiliary Nano Pump I Medium Auxiliary Nano Pump I Medium Hybrid Collision Accelerator I
Cap Stable 51 Dps 4096 EHP with a 34 hp/s tank 387 m/s ====== Your signature is freakishly huge for this forum. Please resize according to the forum rules, thanks. Shadow. |
Marlona Sky
D00M. RED.OverLord
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Posted - 2010.05.13 16:00:00 -
[24]
I deleted the story because in several ways, it was riddled with bad sentence structure, paragraph use and kind of hard to read. I am a horrible writer and it was my first attempt to try to give a good story. So when I was done I was looking it over and it had the look of the TL;DR all over it and I was flat out embarrassed. I truly wished I had just had someone else write it to give it an easy read so it didn't look like what was said in the first reply post of "Look at me!" I guess I fell flat on my face on this one.
There is such few and far between great reads on these forums and I didn't want to punish you guys with horrible writing. I deleted it within probably 2 minutes of the last page. I didn't think eve-files stored all the post that fast saving my horrible tale forever. Damn you Chribba!
I'm just kidding, I love Chribba.
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Marlona Sky
D00M. RED.OverLord
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Posted - 2010.05.13 16:08:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Helmh0ltz
Originally by: Andrea Griffin I would like to see your Badger fit. Also, congratulations on the kill there! Nice to know that the Dramiels have one weakness... Pilot stupidity.
[Badger Mark II - Marlona Skye's Battle Badger]
Magnetic Field Stabilizer II Magnetic Field Stabilizer II Small Armor Repairer II
10mn Afterburner II Stasis Webifier II Stasis Webifier II Warp Scrambler II Small Capacitor Booster II [Cap Booster 200] Small Capacitor Booster II [Cap Booster 200]
Light Neutron Blaster II [Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge S] Small Energy Neutralizer II
Medium Auxiliary Nano Pump I Medium Auxiliary Nano Pump I Medium Hybrid Collision Accelerator I
Cap Stable 51 Dps 4096 EHP with a 34 hp/s tank 387 m/s
That is an old one. The one I use now is:
[Badger Mark II, Hat Trick] Magnetic Field Stabilizer II Small Armor Repairer II Magnetic Field Stabilizer II
10MN Afterburner II Stasis Webifier II Small Capacitor Booster II, Cap Booster 200 Warp Scrambler II Small Capacitor Booster II, Cap Booster 200 Stasis Webifier II
Light Neutron Blaster II, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge S Small Energy Neutralizer II
Medium Hybrid Collision Accelerator I Medium Auxiliary Nano Pump I Medium Anti-Explosive Pump I
You can overload the gun for 3m 52s. Now you can get best named neut I think for cheaper. And yes, you can perma run everything flat out. So feel free to badger it up guys.
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Rob Z0mbie
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Posted - 2010.05.13 16:46:00 -
[26]
__a really *damn boring story__
))
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Xikorita
Agony Unleashed Agony Empire
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Posted - 2010.05.13 17:07:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Ran Khanon
Originally by: panda name can you try to tell the story again? i'm genuinely interested as to how you killed a fracking dram with a badger...
It be all here
Anyway, can't fathom why you deleted it, Marlona. I frigging love it. Also the killmails you provide in the story are ace.
Thanks for the link. It was amazing ahahahahahhaha NICE JOB!
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Khors
Amtek Inc
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Posted - 2010.05.13 17:54:00 -
[28]
<3 so good -
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Project X592
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Posted - 2010.05.13 18:24:00 -
[29]
Very funny story imho, I think I may go find this guy sometime...
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Orree
Dynaverse Corporation Sodalitas XX
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Posted - 2010.05.13 19:15:00 -
[30]
Granted...not a riveting story, but the "victim" is such a tool that it was at least mildly interesting. Sort of a "couldn't have happened to a more appropriate person" moment.
Battle badger shenanigans always make me smile, anyway.
---------- "How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct." ---Benjamin Disraeli |
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