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Zanielyene
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.12 19:12:00 -
[1]
Crosspost from TEST forums. All credit to Tyxhon[OMFG]
Deagol1 sat in his large luxury suite office sipping on a gin and tonic reading the New Eden Times. Deagol1Æs eyes lit up like the burning sun of Saran Prime as he read the head line of this morningÆs paper. ôThis is not a TESTö a relief act started by the joint efforts of the corporations in Test Alliance Please Ignore. The gin and tonic he had been drinking promptly came flying out of his mouth as he yelled in disbelief to his secretary Gretchen ôGretchen get your ass in here at onceö. Gretchen ran in the office bursting the doors open to see what was wrong. Deagol1 glared at her as if she had done something wrong. Frightened she said, ôI will be right back with something to clean this mess upö.
Gretchen hadnÆt been with the OWN Alliance CEO for very long, he lured her to become his secretary with the promise of not only fame, but fortune as well. She knew if she could just deal with Deagol1Æs sexual advances that she would be rid of this deceitful, ungrateful human being. She resented Deagol1 for allowing herself to be persuaded into such a situation, but she would have her revenge. She was a poor transient; Deagol1 was thought to have killed her mother and father when he roamed through her home system of Sankkasen.
Rushing back in the room Gretchen began cleaning up the gin and tonic Deagol1 had spilled all over himself. Deagol1 to not get distracted by GretchenÆs good looks, he had more important things to deal with today, something was very wrong. Deagol1 began to ponder how this information got out. He had only told his most trusted partners, the CEOs of the other corporations. He came to the conclusion that one of his trusted partners must be leaking this information to the press and undermining him. In a rage by his deduction, he slapped Gretchen across the face, leaving and hand print and almost bruising instantly. He calmly told her to get out his office. Feeling better after the assault against his secretary he needed to make some phone calls.
The transponder light came on in the back of the custom made luxury Caldari Tengu. DELTRAC Had just finished acquiring the last officer fitting he would need for his master piece of a ship. Billions upon billions of ISK he had secretly stolen from his own corporation was used to complete this beautiful ship. DELTRAC knew anyone that crossed his path either blue or red would be envious of his ship, and all the fittings. DELTRAC pressed the ôreceiveö button on the console to connect with Deagol1Æs request for voice communications. ôWHO THE **** HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TOOö, a snarled voice came through the speakers making DELTRAC cringe and raise his hands to his ears to try and block the angry alliance CEO. DELTRAC had no Idea what Deagol1 was talking about, let alone what he was accusing him of. ôWhat are yuàö, before DELTRAC could finish the sentence deagol1 interrupted saying, ôYES YOU DO KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. YOU LEAKED ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT ME IMBEZZALING THE MOON MINERAL ASSETSö. DELTRAC knew there was only a few ways of answering this question without having the entire alliance turned against him and his new ship turned to scrap. DELTRAC ôOh my god, that information was leaked? I will get my best man on the job to figure out who told. I have a contact within the New Eden Times I can talk withö. Deagol1 hung up the receiver before DELTRAC could finish.
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Zanielyene
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.12 19:14:00 -
[2]
Gretchen wasnÆt as dainty as she appeared. Even with her good looks, people often thought she wasnÆt as smart as she was. Listening in on her audio recorder she was thankful that she was able to repair the damaged tap she had previously installed on Deagol1Æs communications line. This wasnÆt like Deagol1 to be spouting all of this information over an unsecured line. She quickly contacted the one man she loved, and will probably always love, Montolio. Montolio was the head of the Alliance Test Alliance Please Ignore. He often found causes he can get behind for the betterment of society. He was a quiet man but wanted nothing more than to help those that are less fortunate. He donates much of his earnings as a CEO, and motivates others to be humanitarians such as himself. The only thing that Montolio lacks as man is the love of a woman. He hopes one day to free the women heÆs had a school boy crush on since he meet her at one of the Deklein Coalition Nations Summit two years ago û Gretchen.
ôGretchen is that you?ö Montolio question. Montolio still doesnÆt have the courage to ask Gretchen out and often is at a loss of words when talking to the beautiful Gretchen. ôYes itÆs me Montyö Gretchen replied whispering into the headset Montolio had given her. Montolio loved the way that she called him Monty. None of the employees in the alliance that he ran had the balls to call casually called him Monty. The last man that had was mysteriously trapped in an airlock on a jump freighter heading for Jita 4-4. Gretchen began to explain all the details that she had learned from the dayÆs progression, ôI think I have all the information you need to make public Deagol1Æs and DELTRACÆs embezzling all the moon minerals the alliance holdsö. Montolio replied with ôexcellent, you are not in any danger are you Gretchen?ö Montolio always caring about the well being of Gretchen, he had offered to pay out the contract she had with Deagol1, but knew she was too proud to take him up on such an offer. This was one of the many reasons he cared so deeply for her. ôGretchen can you send me all the communications you have, I need to send them to the New Eden Times, and begin the Relief efforts there alliance must be going through.ö Montolio asked Gretchen. She responded with ôyes they should be in your secure inboxö. They said their goodbyes, but not before Montolio caringly said, ôGretchen you be careful Deagol1 is a psychotic fool that will rest at nothing to kill the people responsible for his demiseö. She responded with, ôyou are always so caring, and yes of course I will be careful, I will contact you when I can get Deagol1 out of his office, and steal the documentation in his safe.ö Gretchen loved the way that Montolio was so caring for her, and one day she was going to marry him.
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Zanielyene
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.12 19:17:00 -
[3]
Montolio hated corruption, and knew this was not going to happen in his own neighborhood if he could help it. Deklein Coalition was built on strong ties and the treatment of all people fairly young or old, poor or rich. Montolio knew that he would need to distract Deagol1 before he could do any of his infamous cover ups, made famous by his ability to become the head and CEO of the OWN Alliance. Deagol1 had killed his brother is the most ruthless of ways, from ear to ear, when his father had given the Alliance to his younger brother in his last will and testament. Montolio decided that he would send DurrHurrDurr, no one really knows what DurrHurrDurrÆs real name is, every time he tries to say it, he stutters so much that the only thing that is even recognize is the slurred ôdurrrr hurrr durrrö Some people think he is mentally insane, others think he is mentally ******ed. ItÆs safe to say that it is probably a combination of the two. DurrHurrDurrÆs only passion in life is to please that of his father figure Montolio. He was asked to interview Deagol1 for the ad that was going to be shown to request donations for the poor pilots of OWN alliance. Nothing was going to stop DurrHurrDurr from completing his task and getting the interview that was requested of him.
Deagol1 had been on the communications line all morning trying to get to the bottom of what was going on. Not only was there internal arguments about if the accusations were true, but he had random people sending him death threats, and trying to bomb the building he was in. He hated how Concord lowered the Stealth Bomber License to fifteen year old pilots. He was getting nothing done to figure out how to stop the downward spiral he was suffering from. Peaking in through the door Gretchen said, ôYou have a DurrHurrDurr here to see you he is your 1:00pm appointmentö. In a rage Deagol1 responds with a ôCancel my god damn appointments for the day, and I am not going to see some cretin who doesnÆt bath regularlyö. Trying to nudge his way into Deagol1Æs office, DurrHurrDurr responds with ôOh I took a shower this morning, it should be goodö. Walking past Gretchen DurrHurrDurr sits down in one of the lush leather chairs, and begins asking Deagol1 questions about the ad campaign that was about to start. Gretchen knew this would be her opportunity to get Deagol1 out of his office so that she could get into his safe.
Deagol1 gets on the line to security to escort DurrHurrDurr to his vessel and out of the building. Security was on its way up to Mr. Deagol1Æs office when DurrHurrDurr began to panic, he ran out of the room stealing Deagol1Æs prize figurine that his father had given him on his deathbed. DurrHurrDurr locked himself in the coat closet with Mr. Deagol1 right behind him banging on the door for him to give him the figurine back that his father had given him. Gretchen knew this would be her only chance to get into the office to get the documentation that she needed to finally have the evidence to put Deagol1 behind bars.
Gretchen panicked; she didnÆt know what she was looking for. She grabbed everything that she could get her hands on and stuffed the paperwork into her shoulder bag. She couldnÆt help the feeling she had when thinking how impressed Montolio would be when she calls and tells him that she has all the evidence. She couldnÆt wait to run up to him and give him a long passionate kiss. She got to the elevator and selected the loading area floor when she would slip into a fast moving shuttle as to not alert anyone. Gretchen knew she had to get to VFK solar system where she knew she would be a safe haven for people treated wrongly.
She was being pulled into dock by the VFK station. She got on the line to Montolio and said with a sigh of relief, ôI have it, and I canÆt wait to see youö. Montolio replied, ôI canÆt wait to see you either, but be careful this is just the beginningö.
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Garst Tyrell
Amarr No.Mercy
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Posted - 2010.10.12 19:18:00 -
[4]
honest question
did anyone even read this on the TEST forums? self congratulatory text walls belong on IGS, I expect more forum **** and 4chan memes here. I am disappoint |
IT Yassir
Caldari No Limit Productions Systematic-Chaos
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Posted - 2010.10.12 19:18:00 -
[5]
I loled
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Kra Torii
Minmatar United Systems Navy Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2010.10.12 19:41:00 -
[6]
I think I found my long lost twin.
~~ |
Max Wilson
Caldari Cryptonym Sleepers Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.12 20:33:00 -
[7]
tl;dr?
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Neo Berry
Amarr The Foreign Legion Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2010.10.12 21:39:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Max Wilson tl;dr?
tl:dr --------------------------------------------- Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pised off all the time. It's just not worth it. |
Imigo Montoya
Gallente Hysterically Unforgiving Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2010.10.12 22:00:00 -
[9]
Cool story bro?
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StonerPhReaK
Gallente Imperial Tau Syndicate Warped Aggression
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Posted - 2010.10.12 22:06:00 -
[10]
Only part i readed.
Gretchen knew she had to get to VFK solar system where she knew she would be a safe haven for people treated wrongly.
Gretchen must be a rly big girl.
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Kiss Thisguy
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.12 22:11:00 -
[11]
Edited by: Kiss Thisguy on 12/10/2010 22:12:49 Test Alliance bringing the quality storytelling of our very own Stephanie Meyers to the plebes of CAOD.
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Zanielyene
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.13 00:01:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Kra Torii I think I found my long lost twin.
Oh my, it does appear that we do look quite alike. We should get in dramiels and do roams together. It would be cute.
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Facepalm
Amarr Battlestars Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2010.10.13 01:47:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Neo Berry
Originally by: Max Wilson tl;dr?
tl:dr
tl;dr ------------
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etag
Gallente Unknown-Entity
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Posted - 2010.10.13 02:27:00 -
[14]
tl:dr
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Czeris
Caldari Bad Kitty Inc. Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2010.10.13 03:11:00 -
[15]
I admit I didn't read it, so I'll just pick one from the Random CAOD Response Generator 1.0
Umad bro?
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CharmingButIrrational
Minmatar Roswell Project Victimz
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Posted - 2010.10.13 04:10:00 -
[16]
this isnt funny
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Zanielyene
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.13 05:11:00 -
[17]
Originally by: CharmingButIrrational this isnt funny
Post on your main, then trash talk. It's pretty much coad law.
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Cybarite
Gallente YARRRDIES Inc.
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Posted - 2010.10.13 06:22:00 -
[18]
I read through that entire thing waiting for the bel air; left disappointed
I love seeing ships explode and knowing that someone somewhere is screaming at their computer |
PipingHotCookies
Gallente Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.13 06:29:00 -
[19]
Zanielyene produces a good thirty minute screenplay's worth of Montolio fanfiction every 48 hours. Wait 'til you guys see the one where he solves the mystery of the pyramids or opens a legitimate massage parlor in Bangkok.
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Zanielyene
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.13 06:53:00 -
[20]
Originally by: PipingHotCookies Wait 'til you guys see the one where he solves the mystery of the pyramids or opens a legitimate massage parlor in Bangkok.
Happy endings were 50% off.
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Soldarius
Caldari Independent Coalition DEM0N HUNTERS
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Posted - 2010.10.13 09:35:00 -
[21]
Somebody's mad.
Still trying to figure out what OWN does with the billions in corp fees they collect every month from member corps. That's just the isk. Not including moongoo and cap ship sales. Somebody over there is getting incredibly rich. "When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." |
Ganthritor
Minmatar Roswell Project Victimz
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Posted - 2010.10.13 12:46:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Zanielyene
Originally by: CharmingButIrrational this isnt funny
Post on your main, then trash talk. It's pretty much coad law.
okay this isnt funny
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Muul Udonii
Minmatar THORN Syndicate Controlled Chaos
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Posted - 2010.10.13 12:50:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Facepalm
Originally by: Neo Berry
Originally by: Max Wilson tl;dr?
tl:dr
tl;dr
tl;dr
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Dr Cheeto
Minmatar Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2010.10.13 13:37:00 -
[24]
Edited by: Dr Cheeto on 13/10/2010 13:37:50
Originally by: Zanielyene
Originally by: CharmingButIrrational this isnt funny
Post on your main, then trash talk. It's pretty much coad law.
I'm sorry, pilot, you are in violation of ~CAOD Law~
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CharmingButIrrational
Minmatar Roswell Project Victimz
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Posted - 2010.10.13 14:10:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Dr Cheeto I'm sorry, pilot, you are in violation of ~CAOD Law~
do i get to be ~JUDGED~?
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cynchron
Gallente Raptor Legion Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2010.10.15 00:28:00 -
[26]
Unwise, and very poorly written. This is why your campaigns will end abruptly, unsatisfied, and like you, ineffectively.
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Haseo Smith
Minmatar Wrecking Shots -Mostly Harmless-
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Posted - 2010.10.15 02:17:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Muul Udonii
Originally by: Facepalm
Originally by: Neo Berry
Originally by: Max Wilson tl;dr?
tl:dr
tl;dr
tl;dr
What they said.
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IntegralHellsing
Gallente Eve Defence Force Systematic-Chaos
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Posted - 2010.10.16 16:01:00 -
[28]
OMG the bricks of texts... --------------------------------------
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