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The PitBoss
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Posted - 2005.02.06 00:50:00 -
[1]
Edited by: The PitBoss on 06/02/2005 02:01:37
Friday (04FEB05): Today two executives of The Confederation [CFD] were arraigned in a Hiematar district court on charges stemming from last nightÆs 'Free For ALL' in Yulai.
The Pitboss [-CFD-] alliance executor AND Thaylon Sen [-TLG-] alliance Viceroy to The Confederation [CFD] were charged with: Public intoxication Willful destruction of government property Public lewdness Impersonating a CONCORD police officer Rustling Cruelty to animals Criminal Trespass
To name a few of a long list of charges.
Rumors have it, that the incident stemmed from a celebration of their allianceÆs success in the diplomatic field with other alliances in EVE. The Pitboss and Thaylon Sen were drinking at a local Yulai watering hole. The celebration lasted for quite a few hours.
When questioned by CONCORD the bartender stated, ôNothing seemed out of the ordinary, then a few hours into the celebration, these two clowns just up and left the bar, only to come back with a donkey! That minmatar rode him right up to the bar and ordered a round of drinks!"
"As the night progressed, these guys sat at a table and talk to each other like nothing was out of the norm. I donÆt know who was throwing their voice BUT I could swear at times that donkey was talking to me and ordering rounds!"
"I had to draw the line when he relieved himself on the bar floorà AND IÆm not talking about the donkey. I had no idea what I was about to unleash on the system when I kicked them out.."
Later that night, The pitboss and thaylon sen, continuing the celebration, allegedly broke into a concord billboard AND allegedly caused the greatest traffic jam in Yulai history at the Lustrevik Jump gate. The two were allegedly directing traffic AND mooning passing ships! It appears at this time a NAKED pitboss was heard talking gibberish about NAPs.
Yulai Department of Transportation: Traffic Jam PHOTO
Independent News Photographer: Billboard PHOTO
This is when Jona Mae [GLT], a diplomat for Period Basis Legion [PBL], came across the two on her way home. They were surrounded by CONCORD police; she mediated the situation AND talked the two out of the billboard. The donkey had to be tranquilized and returned to an unnamed petting zoo.
When asked about why she intervened, Jona Mae [GLT] stated, ôI felt really bad for them. When I was on my way home from the bar and saw them all up in that billboard, I knew I put them over the edge when I sent over those three shots of ôJOVIAN medicineöà. Thaylon Sen actually wound up drinking the donkeyÆs saying something about the animal had enough and had to fly later!
True to his professionalism AND spirit of diplomacy .. Even in his state .. The pitboss negotiated a NAP with PBL and it was ratified when the pitboss used his one phone call to talk to Jona Mae [GLT] from his cell.
Rumor has it Thaylon Sen used his one call to call the petting zoo ....
As of yet, Both The Pitboss and Thaylon Sen have not returned our repeated calls for comment.
The Pitboss Alliance Executor The Confederation
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Kadarin
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Posted - 2005.02.06 00:55:00 -
[2]
Best. Press Release. Ever.
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Tairos Hakonnus
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Posted - 2005.02.06 00:57:00 -
[3]
What he said.
----------------------------
http://spla.sh/bp/bp_files/main.htm |
CYVOK
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Posted - 2005.02.06 02:00:00 -
[4]
Thats awesome!
About time we get to read something worthwile in this catagory!
Thanks Pit!
-CYVOK-
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Jona Mae
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Posted - 2005.02.06 02:33:00 -
[5]
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S3VYN
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Posted - 2005.02.06 06:56:00 -
[6]
Well done! ------------------------------------- // The views expressed by this poster are not the views of the poster's corporation, alliance, planet or television network... but they should be. |
agentsmitty
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Posted - 2005.02.06 07:43:00 -
[7]
another great post, gj
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Haldane IV
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Posted - 2005.02.06 08:18:00 -
[8]
What an ass-inine post. Best laff I've had in Eve since the great Gallente-Caldari food fight.
Seriously tho Pitboss, you and your mate are an ass-ett to the game.
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taaf
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Posted - 2005.02.06 09:46:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Kadarin Best. Press Release. Ever.
signed
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Clipped Wings
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Posted - 2005.02.06 09:48:00 -
[10]
Dear god.
In between all the laurels befitting one such incident, I have to point out that if there were signs of the donkey being mistreated, we will come for you. After all, that's our logo and trademark.
Apart from that:
To second the other people posting here: Eminent story, a much-needed break from the normal sounding of the wardrums.
Best of luck, and give me a call if you need legal representation, I believe I still have the numbers for a few good lawyers...from back in my oyunger and more rebellish days.
-Clipped Wings of LFC
"I believe in the theoretical benevolence, and practical malignity of man."
~William Hazlitt
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LoxyRider
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Posted - 2005.02.06 12:30:00 -
[11]
The billboard pic is the cherry on top ^^. ----- Eris Discordia; I think the proper term is <3
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Rift Scorn
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Posted - 2005.02.06 14:13:00 -
[12]
Pure Class! Keep 'em coming!
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Abigail Sebastian
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Posted - 2005.02.06 19:04:00 -
[13]
My god that was hilarious. And the Billboard picture, LMAO!!
Great job.
Poor donkey...
------------------------------- Sebastian Arcane Technologies
Handing out cans of whoop azz, no charge!! |
Xrak
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Posted - 2005.02.06 19:08:00 -
[14]
You should write some chronicles for eve.
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Velsharoon
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Posted - 2005.02.06 20:58:00 -
[15]
Sheer class :)
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Capt Ketamine
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Posted - 2005.02.07 00:26:00 -
[16]
No adjectives are worthy of describing what a breath of fresh air that is....
/me looks around furtively and whispers > 'You like donkeys eh? Meet me in Pator tomorrow night I have something I think you'll enjoy'.
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made alot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move" Douglas Adams |
Dau Imperius
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Posted - 2005.02.07 05:58:00 -
[17]
Abso-fraggen-loutely classic press release.
Keep 'em coming.
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Kyle Caldrel
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Posted - 2005.02.08 04:05:00 -
[18]
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Monty Burns
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Posted - 2005.02.08 13:43:00 -
[19]
I never realised that reading the forums whilst bored at work could be so much fun!!!
Nice one!
Darwin 4tw
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John McCreedy
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Posted - 2005.02.08 14:30:00 -
[20]
Top post
Make a difference
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Awalance
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Posted - 2005.02.09 00:12:00 -
[21]
you make a NAP woth an alliance who dont exist enymore ??? or who is in empire space !?!? ------------------------
after you die ,and all peoples who knows you die also ..its like you never exist |
Mrissa Easeah
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Posted - 2005.02.09 00:36:00 -
[22]
Yeah, PBL's in Empire space. So?
CFD is an Empire space alliance last I heard.
@ PitBoss Great post! Glad there's still a few alliances you haven't touched upon yet. Hope you get NAP's with them all
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Torgrim
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Posted - 2005.02.09 02:06:00 -
[23]
When i saw the billboard i laugh so hard i almost fell of the chair.
"I have seen things that you only could dream about, i have been there" |
Scythmar
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Posted - 2005.02.11 06:01:00 -
[24]
delicious
--------------- I guarantee that my opinions are the complete opposite of those of my corp and alliance. Get over it. |
Stro3der
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Posted - 2005.02.11 11:43:00 -
[25]
Starting to wonder what im getting into with Confed alliance
Just like being in the Air Force again !!
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