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Damien McCandless
Caldari Baden's Army
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Posted - 2011.04.25 13:00:00 -
[1]
Dearest Readers,
First of all, I would like to say that if you have no interest in the Joe Phoenix Story (soon to be a major motion picture) then please pass this forum topic by. Secondly, I write this entirely of my own free will and under no duress.
Once, when I flew under the auspices of IEEE Standards and Practices, I was under the impression we were doing good work bringing punishment to the stupid and foolish, guiding the weak and tending to the Flock. However, after I began to investigate Joe Phoenix and some others, it became quickly apparent that CEO-For-Life Zedrik Cayne was simply using the corporation as front to even old scores and grief anyone he wished.
Myself and many others have been duped by this Zedrik Cayne, acted as (badly) paid mercenaries and ran around at his beck and call for promised rewards that rarely materialised and for his own amusement. The pittance of pay he offered for "investigating" his targets barely paid for ammunition never mind replacement ships.
One such target was Joe Phoenix, CEO of the Imperial Commonwealth. I seem to recall that the IEEE decided to get involved in this man's affairs after another corp of pirates (I can't remember the name) can-flipped him. Smelling blood and profit, Zedrik Cayne pounced on the already weaked Imperial Commonwealth, declaring war with the intention of extracting money. For the next several months, the IEEE protacted a (largely unsuccessful) campaign again Joe Phoenix' corporation, causing little damage and attempting to gain support through fraudulently falsified chat logs. It was through these actions that I began to learn about the man that is Joe Phoenix.
I discovered the Joe is a man of integrity, not the lying backstabber Cayne has tried to colour him as on these very same forums. Unlike the members of the IEEE, Joe Phoenix does as he says. He has stood before the griefers and he has survived. He has gone from strength to to strength while his enemies have weakened and failed at every turn. Joe Phoenix is an example to us all and I for one am proud to have met a man with enough courage, decency and integrity to stand up and proudly say what he believes in, and will fight for, a more peaceful, trustworthy and strong New Eden, a place we an all be proud to call home.
Thank you for listening, and I urge you to follow Joe Phoenix' example.
-Damien McCandless
Heck pod everyone you pirates, Get off the forums and go kill someone! - CCP Zymurgist
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Wedding Peach
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Posted - 2011.04.25 13:21:00 -
[2]
Damien MacCandless = Joe Phoenix Alt -------------------------------------------------- I am the Love Angel, Wedding Peach, and I am very displeased by your lack of love! |
Damien McCandless
Caldari Baden's Army
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Posted - 2011.04.25 13:23:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Damien McCandless on 25/04/2011 13:24:13
Originally by: Wedding Peach Damien MacCandless = Joe Phoenix Alt
Sadly, its not the case. Im not sure he has any use for alts really. |
Cable Udan
Caldari Blue Republic
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Posted - 2011.04.25 13:28:00 -
[4]
Riveting tale, sibling.
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Jaik7
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Posted - 2011.04.25 15:17:00 -
[5]
this tastes like that one thread from a guy named enyo azzhole or something like that about a certain Mr. Giri. i loved that thread.
really now, if this isnt an alt giving the main an ego trip, why post it?
Originally by: CCP Shadow The trolls have been vanquished.
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Damien McCandless
Caldari Baden's Army
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Posted - 2011.04.25 15:23:00 -
[6]
Edited by: Damien McCandless on 25/04/2011 15:23:13
Originally by: Jaik7 this tastes like that one thread from a guy named enyo azzhole or something like that about a certain Mr. Giri. i loved that thread.
really now, if this isnt an alt giving the main an ego trip, why post it?
Perhaps its time that I let anyone who cares (you know who you are) know that IEEE are bad news. Perhaps I just want to see Joe get a fair break for once. And perhaps I wanted to end the rumours. Most likely, all of the above. |
Lady Spank
Amarr Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.04.25 15:26:00 -
[7]
Joe Phoenix is a very nice chap.
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Jullian Valdexron
Gallente Marcabian 5th Invasion Fleet
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Posted - 2011.04.25 16:46:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Lady Spank Joe Phoenix is a very nice chap.
Also one of your alts Xenuria Marcabian 5th Invasion Fleet |
Damien McCandless
Caldari Baden's Army
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Posted - 2011.04.25 16:48:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Damien McCandless on 25/04/2011 16:48:25
Originally by: Jullian Valdexron
Originally by: Lady Spank Joe Phoenix is a very nice chap.
Also one of your alts Xenuria
This is not about Xenuria, it is only about how Joe finally beat the IEEE |
Dracoknight
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Posted - 2011.04.25 16:56:00 -
[10]
This is why i always return to the IEEE, leave it for a minute and the hell is all loose! ____________________
I wish my Thorax could use missiles... |
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Ilike ithard
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Posted - 2011.04.25 18:04:00 -
[11]
All. Lies.
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Milla Jovobitch
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Posted - 2011.04.25 18:47:00 -
[12]
Who's Joe Phoneix? And who is Damien Candless?
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Wedding Peach
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Posted - 2011.04.25 19:06:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Milla Jovo***** Who's Joe Phoneix? And who is Damien Candless?
A pair of nobodies. -------------------------------------------------- I am the Love Angel, Wedding Peach, and I am very displeased by your lack of love! |
Zedrik Cayne
Gallente Standards and Practices
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Posted - 2011.04.25 20:31:00 -
[14]
I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that IEEE branded tinfoil hats and hairpieces are available from your local IEEE agent.
While tidying up the offices I found that Damien had left his in his locker.
It would seem that it was a bad choice to leave it behind, not only did he get a worse looking wig (compare old picture in his signature vs the new hairdo) but apparently the new one is not shielded at all.
RIP: Agent Damien McCandless. Cause of dismissal: Brain softening due to over-exposure to stupidity. Also known as the 'Joe Effect'. --
Originally by: "RedSplat" You're the internet equivalent of a Deepfried Mars bar filled with stupid.
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Joe Phoenix
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Posted - 2011.04.25 20:38:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Joe Phoenix on 25/04/2011 20:38:49 I real am flattered that you would post this damien, i however need to point out i will NOT be appearing at all in the upcoming movie
No really i am glad you decided to join the good guys
Oh and zedrik, that tin foil hat, i would be getting that from you right? Only all your other 'agents' seem to have f**ked off
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Lorinda Barton
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Posted - 2011.04.25 20:39:00 -
[16]
I still fail to see how Joe saved ur life...I was expecting a tale of dashing heroism where he suffered the loss of his legion for your itty iv. :P. False advertising :P
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Helcity Boson
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Posted - 2011.04.25 20:58:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Lorinda Barton I still fail to see how Joe saved ur life...I was expecting a tale of dashing heroism where he suffered the loss of his legion for your itty iv. :P. False advertising :P
It is not my ship or mere worldly posessions that Joe saved, but I had lost my way. Joe has shown me not to trust anyone who comes along and says I can make big bucks doing what I'm told.
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Damien McCandless
Caldari Baden's Army
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Posted - 2011.04.25 21:00:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Helcity Boson
Originally by: Lorinda Barton I still fail to see how Joe saved ur life...I was expecting a tale of dashing heroism where he suffered the loss of his legion for your itty iv. :P. False advertising :P
It is not my ship or mere worldly posessions that Joe saved, but I had lost my way. Joe has shown me not to trust anyone who comes along and says I can make big bucks doing what I'm told.
I am glad to see another convert, though I have a feeling Im attracting a bandwagon here. I do not wish to associate with anyone claiming to be my alt, nor seeking to dirty Joe Phoenix' good name. Thank you but no thanks, obvious alt. |
Lady Spank
Amarr Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.04.25 21:13:00 -
[19]
I've always liked Joe, he is a model capsuleer. Even if he can get a little exasperated, but in these dangerous times; who wouldn't?
For my birthday last year he gave me a couple of very special presents. A Zedrik Kayne frozen corpse (very good condition), and a decommissioned 'The Phoenix' edition Drake class Battlecruiser that was used to kick it to the IEEE way back.
I am not one for material goods but I will cherish these for all time.
I once tried to assist in bumping Joe back to the safety of the Amarr Emperors undock but upon entering space and seeing him 70km off it was never going to succeed. A sad day for honour and justice.
I have been privileged to preview a script from this budding playwright and director. Truly he is a prolific man. The griefers keep him docked up, he just gets creative in other ways. This is the spirit of Eve, this is Joe Phoenix.
Let he be an inspiration unto us all.
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Lorinda Barton
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Posted - 2011.04.25 21:14:00 -
[20]
lol...you can make big bucks doing what ur told...send me 1bill isk and I will double it I swear :P
Anyway...I am really sorry, but your replies read like a bad chick novel. I do not buy it...false advertising statement remains :P
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Crista Feraton
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Posted - 2011.04.25 22:11:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Zedrik Cayne I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that IEEE branded tinfoil hats and hairpieces are available from your local IEEE agent.
While tidying up the offices I found that Damien had left his in his locker.
It would seem that it was a bad choice to leave it behind, not only did he get a worse looking wig (compare old picture in his signature vs the new hairdo) but apparently the new one is not shielded at all.
RIP: Agent Damien McCandless. Cause of dismissal: Brain softening due to over-exposure to stupidity. Also known as the 'Joe Effect'.
Awww come on Zedrik, launch an investigation against him! He's committing slander against you and the IEEE!
My pathetic killboard |
Awesome Possum
Original Sin. PURPLE HELMETED WARRIORS
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Posted - 2011.04.25 23:46:00 -
[22]
I want to touch everyone in this thread in ways that'll get me put on the sex offender registry. ♥
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TipsyMcStagger
Caldari Spruillo WarDec Corp
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Posted - 2011.04.26 00:18:00 -
[23]
Edited by: TipsyMcStagger on 26/04/2011 00:18:59
Originally by: Lady Spank I've always liked Joe, he is a model capsuleer. Even if he can get a little exasperated, but in these dangerous times; who wouldn't?
For my birthday last year he gave me a couple of very special presents. A Zedrik Kayne frozen corpse (very good condition), and a decommissioned 'The Phoenix' edition Drake class Battlecruiser that was used to kick it to the IEEE way back.
I am not one for material goods but I will cherish these for all time.
I once tried to assist in bumping Joe back to the safety of the Amarr Emperors undock but upon entering space and seeing him 70km off it was never going to succeed. A sad day for honour and justice.
I have been privileged to preview a script from this budding playwright and director. Truly he is a prolific man. The griefers keep him docked up, he just gets creative in other ways. This is the spirit of Eve, this is Joe Phoenix.
Let he be an inspiration unto us all.
Uncharacteristically articulation is a sign of imposterism Whos at spanks keyboard on spanks account. Whoevetr it is yur still deadmeet
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Joe Phoenix
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Posted - 2011.04.26 00:31:00 -
[24]
Yer threaten one of the most popular members of the eve community, thats a smart idea!
Oh wait, you're an alt, how ironic.
Why is everyone flipping out over the fact spank has alts, she hasn't wronged anyone by having them!
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Jullian Valdexron
Gallente Marcabian 5th Invasion Fleet
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Posted - 2011.04.26 01:02:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Joe Phoenix Yer threaten one of the most popular members of the eve community, thats a smart idea!
Oh wait, you're an alt, how ironic.
Why is everyone flipping out over the fact spank has alts, she hasn't wronged anyone by having them!
Spoken like a true Xenuria alt Marcabian 5th Invasion Fleet |
Erichk Knaar
Caldari Noir. Noir. Mercenary Group
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Posted - 2011.04.26 02:02:00 -
[26]
Last night Joe Phoenix saved my life. Last night Joe Phoenix saved my life, from a broken heart...
(best bassline ever)
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Bored Princess
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Posted - 2011.04.26 02:22:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Jullian Valdexron
Spoken like a true Xenuria alt
90% of these threads I read through every night contains you Xenuria in one way or another. Approximately 23 minutes on average. Do me a favor and create two more alts so it'll be an even 30 minutes, I hate uneven numbers.
Make me enjoy killing Tonys ibis in VFK more |
Panda Name
Amarr Imperial Academy
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Posted - 2011.04.26 03:03:00 -
[28]
Edited by: Panda Name on 26/04/2011 03:03:56
Originally by: Wedding Peach Damien MacCandless = Joe Phoenix Alt
i wish to doubt this, as joe tends to type with a particular pace of prose (the slightly illiterate type), but we are all aware of the arranged stage that eve events unfold upon. this whole display could merely be the archetypes of xenuria stirring independently in the dark, despite her claimed awareness of action.
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Project X592
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Posted - 2011.04.26 04:36:00 -
[29]
Ahh Joe Phoenix... Full racks of warp core stabs, insults directed at family... so many memories! Truly one of eve's most influential and inspirational people!
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Napalm985
Pitch Black. Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.04.26 04:41:00 -
[30]
Doesn't Joe Phoenix still owe you a manticore?
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