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Sral TBear
Shipwreck cove
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Posted - 2011.06.18 12:11:00 -
[1]
Sometimes you encounter something that makes you laugh. (abit long wall of text)
(part 1)
"lunch break from pew pew"
Me and a few m8`s had the dayly roam in a few low sec pipes. I got abit bored and jumped into high sec. In there a mission runner asked for help. Well why not abit free sec status and a small break from low sec. Me and my navy pest joined in on AE and used our fine 1400`s to help this guy out.
Doing this i found out he wasent realy into how eve works, he knew about fittings, missions etc, but nothing about anything else. I talked in fleet to the m8`s and we came up with a plan. Now someone reading goes ya ya they lure him into low sedc and pop him, correct on the first one, not the second one.
"sophisticatet rules of agression"
While brewing the plan we completet AE, told no for the share i let him have it all , but aksed if he could help me and some friends with a problem in low sec. It took me an hour to talk him into it and we had to buy the ship and mods (peanuts for the laugh we would get) We got him on ventrilo and told how he should set up hes overviuv etc.(our way, not the right way) Now we had a blasterthron with us. We used some time in 0.1`s ratting talking and joking, then we whent into a few 0.0 areas and had some easy pew pew he was thrilled the noobs adrenalin kick. We asked him some quistions while flying around and it became werry clear he had no idea about how low sec or anything relatet to low sec worked.
"ouutch this is game breaking"
We flew back to low sec asking if he would participate in a few low sec missions. A fleet member warped of and after a few minutes he said he acceptet the mission. Our new freind asked about how it worked and some mission details. "mission-hold the camp"
The guristas leadership are pushed back, your job is to make a gatecamp and kill everything that passes through, mission are complete when you recive the retreat message from the Guristas leadership. (remember hes overviuv are set our way)
FC call the warp to the gate, we place us as we should, me ofcourse some distance away with the 1400`s. I only will tell about the first and last kill.
Few details. We tell him about the different things that happen, he will get a warning about agression, that is normal because we run a "pirate mission" and make sure he knows what is going to happen, but he only knows what we tell him, not the truth. Drake jumpz in, takle hold give him abit time to settle, slowly killing him holding back abit make sure he gets another adrenalin kick. Warning pops up we tell mark the "dont tell me anymore" and kill the Drake, now he asks about flashy and countdown, tell him its all apart of the mission.
A few more kills, now to the final part of our plan, everytime we kill a ship he gets to kill the pod, he feel safe, feel we are cool guys we all have some fun. 9 ships and pods longer we get the "second part" and have to move gate. We tell him gateguns are part of the missions and they fire when you run pirate missions so its no problem, they shoot doing the duration of the mission. New gate, new targets more ships and pods (he is stil the awsome killer of all the pods, proud and feels tough. After 3 hours the FC warps of, give a mission complete we meet up at a station all dock and we give the fun, happy times tx for the mission help and we log of.
(read part 2)
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Sral TBear
Shipwreck cove
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Posted - 2011.06.18 12:13:00 -
[2]
(part 2)
"hangovers after fun night is not fun"
Next day we roam again, when our FC gets a eve mail from our friend, he asks what is wrong and if we also have problems jumping into empire from low sec, he have been stuck there for a day. We say no and while talking with him we go to a mission running chat with some alts and direct him there since they might be able to help him.
We se him pop up asking. If i run pirate missions why cant i get back to empire, then we exploded in laugh on coms, doing the next 10mins 20 people explained him that they didnt exists etc, he blew up in anger when he found out about sec status and low sec, agression and the cream on top Bountys (we were kind enough to place 1.5 mil on hes head) He is now the proud owner of a sec status of -3.8 :) And a 1.5 Million bounty, and cant use hes assets, he is locked inside low sec.
A few days later we talk to a person we know, and he maneged to talk this guy into setting up a contract so he could fly some stuf into low sec for him, he took the contract and flew home so our "friend" in low sec have about lost everything in eve, assets, sec status etc...
"humanity is a pain in the azztroid"
Because of the scam part we have decided to help our little friend, we didnt want to clean him out, just spoil hes eve abit. We are helping him ratting in 0.0 have donatet a few isk to him, and i asked him if i could post the story and i wouldt mention hes name.(getting soft in my old days)
Everything are just internetspaceshippixels and fun.....
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Gorki Andropov
Kerensky Initiatives
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Posted - 2011.06.18 21:20:00 -
[3]
Hemingwayturningingrave.gif -----------------------------------------------
"I have not problem with prostitute, but the kiddy dools is to much for me" - Orcan |
Darius III
Caldari Interstellar eXodus BricK sQuAD.
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Posted - 2011.06.19 08:18:00 -
[4]
I lolled.
I like your style, and that shizzle is always fun to do even if lame. 8/10
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tikktokk tokkzikk
STORM Squad
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Posted - 2011.06.19 10:05:00 -
[5]
WHOA YOU ARE MEAN!
I like it! I am also glad C&P finally got some non-spam content!
I also wish someone could tell me exactly when CCP became ÇÇ₱. |
Maximillian Triton
Amarr The Wild Irish Rovers
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Posted - 2011.06.20 06:38:00 -
[6]
that was brutal. I approve. Thanks for not being a Spank/Xenuria alt either.
Hooray for content!
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Le Badass
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Posted - 2011.06.20 07:40:00 -
[7]
Great plan and great post. It's been a long time since I've seen anything this original on C&P. Even if was a phony story, it's still pretty good.
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Dorn Val
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Posted - 2011.06.20 13:14:00 -
[8]
You guys win Eve -still laughing!
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WatsonMayte
Caldari The Condemned and Convicted
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Posted - 2011.06.21 13:27:00 -
[9]
Great read just makes me grateful I had help as a noob
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Atomik Harmonik
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Posted - 2011.06.21 16:06:00 -
[10]
funny story +1 for the content
-10 for having a lolcat write it for you
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